I've read several threads about abused spouses, Vawa filings and responses from some of you guys. I felt so sorry for the citizens trying to get their once-loved spouses deported, which isn't different than what my husband is trying to do. Love shouldn't be this cheap. Love is kind, not hurtful. Putting someone in an illegal status or deportation process is hitting below the belt, not protecting yourself. Neither do you get any benefit from having someone deported, no matter how hurt or angry you are. Doing something just because you can is not power, it's so immature. This is not good.
I'm writing here simply because I am stuck, and I really need help and insight. Please do not respond to this message speaking poorly of illegal immigrants or why they should be sent back home before you understand my story. I don't need anybody to tell me why I should go back or stay here.
I'm from Istanbul Turkey from a well respected liberal family. I met my husband two years ago when I was a student in New Jersey. When my studies ended, I simply went back to my home country. I wouldn't have gone back if I had wanted to obtain an immigrant status no matter what, he begged me to stay and marry him but I didn't. My husband came to Turkey almost once a month after I left. We were talking on the phone at least two three hours a day. He even came to Istanbul only for 16 hours to propose to me and he took a flight back to New York. He did everything he could to bring me back to the US, except for filing for a spouse or a fiancee visa.
We got married in August, 2008 and I entered the country on a visitor's visa. I didn't know that the US would recognize a marriage abroad. We were planning on a US wedding which his family cancelled after a loss in family. The original plan was that I would help him with the US wedding preparations and go back to Turkey, file for spouse visa but after my husband lost his uncle he was devastated and he needed my support. And I stayed. And we filed for green card papers.
My I-94 was valid until November, only 3 months after I entered. Since I got approved for EAD and advanced parole, I didn't worry about the I-94 expiration at all.
My husband is from a radically fundementalist christian family. Women wear headscarves and skirts only, they only wear dark colors. I didn't know any of this until we married but he knew I was Muslim and married me anyway probably hoping he could salvage me by converting me. After we started living tohether, him and his family poured out their real intentions and expectations from me. They started the brain-washing cycle pushing me to get baptised. So, our marriage didn't work out and it fell apart only in 6 months. During this time, my husband has been very abusive, especially after I rejected baptism. He started seeing other women, calling me names, not supporting me financially, being sexually verbally mentally and emotionally abusive. He gave me bruises once. He would hide my passport or threaten to get me deported. He is a porn addict, which affects his way of viewing women tremendously, like women are always ready to be men's slave or something. He tells people that I sleep with other guys (which God knows that I didn't) and speaks of me in a very humiliating way. He left home only a few days before the first immigration interview (March 20th). He didn't show up at the hearing and wrote a letter to the imm. services and he cancelled his sponsorship. The case immediately got closed. I was out of status, meaning illegal the day I received a letter from imm. services explaning their decision (March 30th)
My husband filed for a divorce immediately. I found papers in an envelope on the doormat. I don't know if I am considered as being served. In his claims, he says I entered the marriage as fraud, not in good faith. He wants me to pay for everything from apartment rent to legal expanses. He is making $160K a year and I am unemployed.
I am now facing deportation. I can't go back to my hometown simply because it is viewed as a very embarrasing situation to have your daughter back only after a few months she gets married. I also can't go back because I fear the consequences of his divorce claims. If I go now, he may say anything and get a court order against me. I simply can't stay because I am illegal. I am totally cornered.
He broke the lease and I have to be out of the apartment in just a few weeks. I have no money, neither do I have a place to stay.
I know it shouldn't be this easy to mess with someone's life. He's the one who dragged me here. Now he changed his mind and he's doing anything he can to send me back home. I am not a disposible toy for God's sake, there has to be something I can do?!? I don't have police or doctor's reports. He threatened me that if I filed something against him, the consequences would be much worse.
I've spoken with several immigration attorneys and specialists. They all say something different. Some say I can't get a legal status. Some say that I can if I file for I-360 but I can't file for I-360 or I-485 concurrently and I'd have to wait until I-360 is approved to apply for an EAD or AOS. Others say that it's really very simple to put together an application and get approved. I just want to resolve the divorce and go back to my home country. I am utterly confused. I live in New York-New Jersey area and I would very much appreciate the contact information of a reliable and knowlegable immigration and divorce attorneys here.
Please advise. Please help. I don't know what to do.
VAWA petition and divorce case NEED IMMEDIATE HELP
in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits
Posted
Hi everyone,
I've read several threads about abused spouses, Vawa filings and responses from some of you guys. I felt so sorry for the citizens trying to get their once-loved spouses deported, which isn't different than what my husband is trying to do. Love shouldn't be this cheap. Love is kind, not hurtful. Putting someone in an illegal status or deportation process is hitting below the belt, not protecting yourself. Neither do you get any benefit from having someone deported, no matter how hurt or angry you are. Doing something just because you can is not power, it's so immature. This is not good.
I'm writing here simply because I am stuck, and I really need help and insight. Please do not respond to this message speaking poorly of illegal immigrants or why they should be sent back home before you understand my story. I don't need anybody to tell me why I should go back or stay here.
I'm from Istanbul Turkey from a well respected liberal family. I met my husband two years ago when I was a student in New Jersey. When my studies ended, I simply went back to my home country. I wouldn't have gone back if I had wanted to obtain an immigrant status no matter what, he begged me to stay and marry him but I didn't. My husband came to Turkey almost once a month after I left. We were talking on the phone at least two three hours a day. He even came to Istanbul only for 16 hours to propose to me and he took a flight back to New York. He did everything he could to bring me back to the US, except for filing for a spouse or a fiancee visa.
We got married in August, 2008 and I entered the country on a visitor's visa. I didn't know that the US would recognize a marriage abroad. We were planning on a US wedding which his family cancelled after a loss in family. The original plan was that I would help him with the US wedding preparations and go back to Turkey, file for spouse visa but after my husband lost his uncle he was devastated and he needed my support. And I stayed. And we filed for green card papers.
My I-94 was valid until November, only 3 months after I entered. Since I got approved for EAD and advanced parole, I didn't worry about the I-94 expiration at all.
My husband is from a radically fundementalist christian family. Women wear headscarves and skirts only, they only wear dark colors. I didn't know any of this until we married but he knew I was Muslim and married me anyway probably hoping he could salvage me by converting me. After we started living tohether, him and his family poured out their real intentions and expectations from me. They started the brain-washing cycle pushing me to get baptised. So, our marriage didn't work out and it fell apart only in 6 months. During this time, my husband has been very abusive, especially after I rejected baptism. He started seeing other women, calling me names, not supporting me financially, being sexually verbally mentally and emotionally abusive. He gave me bruises once. He would hide my passport or threaten to get me deported. He is a porn addict, which affects his way of viewing women tremendously, like women are always ready to be men's slave or something. He tells people that I sleep with other guys (which God knows that I didn't) and speaks of me in a very humiliating way. He left home only a few days before the first immigration interview (March 20th). He didn't show up at the hearing and wrote a letter to the imm. services and he cancelled his sponsorship. The case immediately got closed. I was out of status, meaning illegal the day I received a letter from imm. services explaning their decision (March 30th)
My husband filed for a divorce immediately. I found papers in an envelope on the doormat. I don't know if I am considered as being served. In his claims, he says I entered the marriage as fraud, not in good faith. He wants me to pay for everything from apartment rent to legal expanses. He is making $160K a year and I am unemployed.
I am now facing deportation. I can't go back to my hometown simply because it is viewed as a very embarrasing situation to have your daughter back only after a few months she gets married. I also can't go back because I fear the consequences of his divorce claims. If I go now, he may say anything and get a court order against me. I simply can't stay because I am illegal. I am totally cornered.
He broke the lease and I have to be out of the apartment in just a few weeks. I have no money, neither do I have a place to stay.
I know it shouldn't be this easy to mess with someone's life. He's the one who dragged me here. Now he changed his mind and he's doing anything he can to send me back home. I am not a disposible toy for God's sake, there has to be something I can do?!? I don't have police or doctor's reports. He threatened me that if I filed something against him, the consequences would be much worse.
I've spoken with several immigration attorneys and specialists. They all say something different. Some say I can't get a legal status. Some say that I can if I file for I-360 but I can't file for I-360 or I-485 concurrently and I'd have to wait until I-360 is approved to apply for an EAD or AOS. Others say that it's really very simple to put together an application and get approved. I just want to resolve the divorce and go back to my home country. I am utterly confused. I live in New York-New Jersey area and I would very much appreciate the contact information of a reliable and knowlegable immigration and divorce attorneys here.
Please advise. Please help. I don't know what to do.