PASTJOURNEY18

11 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Save that for divorce court.

Absolutely.

11 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Ultimately, you can't be responsible for the attitudes of other people.

Almost everything happens for a larger reason.

Tell yourself that once you're through this, things will end up surprisingly better.

Meanwhile, violent physical exercise can be cathartic.   

Of course! 

24 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

Your attorney might be able to use that letter to get a favorable divorce decree.  No financial obligations would be a good thing.

I'm hoping so as well.

3 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

Threatening letter? 

Yeah, the day I came home and she had left, she left a note stating that if I don't sign the divorce papers or give her a hard time, she will share recordings of me to my friends and family.

1 minute ago, SalishSea said:

VM = not at all “concrete evidence.”   I’d wager top dollar that this is a VAWA.

 

The bar for U visas is VERY high and VERY specific.   Many are denied.   
 

methinks there is some miscommunication at work here…

I too, from the moment she left me with a threatening letter, believed it would be VAWA. Then the law firm that called and left a voicemail said U-Visa.

Just now, SalishSea said:

All you have to do is tune into any of the ‘90 Day’ shows (UK is the latest one) to see reasonable people being fleeced by romantic interests who wouldn’t give a second look if they lived in a developing country.

Can't say I ever watched those shows. Now I lived it 😂

1 minute ago, SalishSea said:

A lot of USCs don’t seem to recognize the incongruence between the type of people they would attract at home vs overseas.   If it sounds too good to be true- it probably is?   And if it came to it, would that overseas partner still be interested if there was not a green card in the mix?

This is a good point, unfortunately feelings and emotions sometimes get the best of you. I am certain she is a narcissist though. 

2 minutes ago, SalishSea said:

You can’t blame anyone for your lack of judgement about your partner’s character.   Overseas relationships have the unfortunate built-in drawback of less time spent in person than if you dated someone locally.   But even then, <50% of marriages are successful.    
 

Best thing is to move on and care of yourself.

I hope I never came across as blaming anyone else. Yes, I am trying to heal. Easier said than done.

6 minutes ago, KMG said:

 

Yes it is.  I really want to write something maybe a Medium article or something, to help USCs identify when someone is playing this game. 

Why not! Well worth it. It destroys a persons life.

1 minute ago, KMG said:

Yes and Asia, Africa.

The love bombing from the start to completely abandoning - it's evil.

7 minutes ago, KMG said:

I am part of a couple of FB groups for spouse visas and the number of divorces from VERY SPECIFIC countries is astounding.

Eastern European?

7 minutes ago, appleblossom said:

 

You have no way of knowing if that was a genuine call though (could have been fake just to wind you up - would she really have given your number out to her attorney??). And even if it was real, you don't know if the case actually went ahead. That may have been from an attorney that then declined to take her case once he found out she wasn't eligible for a U visa. 

 

But whatever the situation is, as said above there's nothing you can do about it. She's on her own now and it sounds like she's not in a great place immigration wise, but you can't worry about that. Focus on you.

It was a call from the exact attorney office she was speaking to 2 months prior. Same number.

I am trying to focus on me, the trauma of the abandonment just destroys me inside.

5 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Quite fascinating

 

Exactly what was the message?

Not an exact quote but, we (law firm) received USCIS receipt for u-visa application. Now all we do is wait. I will email you the paperwork.

2 minutes ago, Boiler said:

The only Immigration Lawyer who would know what she filed would be her one and I do not see them telling you.

I own the telephone number, they called and left a voicemail stating it...

1 minute ago, Crazy Cat said:

I think that says it all.  I think you should try to let go, move on to seek happiness for yourself. 

That has been the hardest part honestly. The feeling of being abandoned, then blamed for everything, questioning everything is surreal.

1 minute ago, Boiler said:

What concrete evidence do you have for a U?

VM from immigration attorney.

Just now, KMG said:

Not it wasn't another one. Your case is a terrible reminder that there are people out there scamming the system.

If you find it, please let me know! That would be unbelievable if this is a thing right now.

2 minutes ago, KMG said:

Seems like a very similar case to one I read also...

By any chance on another forum? I did write about it elsewhere over 2months ago on another site.

4 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Nothing you have mentioned suggests a U, a lot suggests VAWA.

 

Yes she gets EAD as part of the VAWA application. She may of course be working without authorisation.

This has confused me also - it does lead more towards VAWA, but what I have (concrete evidence) is U-visa. Unless she was part of a crime that I NEVER knew of.

3 minutes ago, JeanneAdil said:

Careful of the wording of waiting time on internet sites 

some say none and some say  up to 180 

and this can be 

1. to file divorce papers

2. to be legally separated

3.  or wait time after papers are signed by judge to final divorce

Regarding divorce? Unfortunately in our state we have to be separated and not in the same dwelling for 1 year.

2 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

Who is "we"? 

I meant me. Habit of saying we for 3 years now.

2 minutes ago, flyaroundglobe said:

I'm so sorry to hear about this terrible situation.

 

Here's what you can do:

1. Consult a Lawyer: This is a complex situation involving potential fraud and immigration concerns. A lawyer specializing in family law and immigration can advise you on the best course of action.

2. Limit Communication: Don't try to reason with your ex. Keep communication minimal and only through your lawyer.

3. Document Everything: Gather any evidence you have - financial records, recordings (if legal in your area), and statements from friends who suspect her plan.

4. Focus on Healing: This has been a betrayal, and it's important to focus on your well-being. Consider therapy to help process the situation.

Regarding the U-Visa: U-Visas are for victims of crimes. It's best to let the authorities handle the investigation.

1. We have an good divorce attorney, but he's not familiar with immigration aspect of things. I reached out to a VAWA/U-Visa focused attorney and they advised for me to send tip forms - nothing else can be done.

2. After I realized how she was manipulating me gas lighting me after the abandonment, all contact is done.

3. Have it all. I paid for her entire lifestyle here, all the bills, etc. Have texts admitting she was emotionally cheating on me, how I should still "apply for her waiver if I loved her" (then she said, but don't anymore BUT if you love me you would have even if we get divorced) - my friends are ready to submit anything from their side. They saw how dirty she did me.

4. Hardest part, but I'm trying.

Regarding the U-VISA, I would have been notified obviously by now if I did anything wrong right? It's been months since she left...

1 hour ago, Crazy Cat said:

How so?  She is inside the US. ESTA??? I thought she was a J-1.

Originally she came in on a J-1, but when we got married and her overstaying, she was on an ESTA. From what I understand, she may not be able to get an ESTA again if she leaves. Is the correct?

57 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

Contact a lawyer, some circumstances can waive the 1 yr separation before filling for divorce. You may have enough evidence that would qualify, but you need to talk to a lawyer to find out.  

We have been in contact with one, he just said we need to wait the 1 year.

1 hour ago, JeanneAdil said:

make sure that the 1 year separation is legal separation 

Absolutely! Completely different states now.

6 minutes ago, JeanneAdil said:

At this point ,  she's gone

let whatever she does be her immigration problem

Her waiver denied/her I 485 denied so she is illegal  now/ have orders to deport been issued?

Don't fall for any movement from her to recover what is lost / a lawyer to salvage her in this situation would be expensive 

 

yeah,  sounds like she used u but sad fact is,  some people do

concentrate now on taking your life back 

divorce and move on

very sorry this happened to u 

Never received an order to deport, but she was subject to the 10 year bar. She had overstayed her ESTA for over 2 years.

6 minutes ago, OldUser said:

Divorce ASAP.

1 year separation first unfortunately

6 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

Do you have a good divorce attorney?  If not, get one.  

Yes, but we can't do anything for a year.

1 minute ago, powerpuff said:

*** Thread moved from Work visas to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration benefits where similar topics are discussed ***

Thank you and sorry!

2 minutes ago, OldUser said:

Why does this matter? If it's all about revenge, VJ members rarely give any tips about harming other people. Sorry the marriage didn't work out.

I think I'm having a hard time just swallowing what happened - Spent 100k on her present and future in the last 2 years, let alone a home too. Can't even describe the support she got from my parents and friends too. It was down right evil.

I just didn't know if there is anything else I need to do in order to protect myself.

1 minute ago, Crazy Cat said:

I believe it allows her to apply for a work permit. However, it will not involve you.

Thank you

5 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

OK.  Unless she charges you with a crime, you are out of the loop. You have no pending I-864 if the I-485 was denied.  She is on her own as far as immigration.  

She's been gone now for over 2 months. We stopped all contact when I realized what she had done and how she played me throughout this marriage.

Do I need to do anything immigration wise other than send a letter to say I want to revoke my already approved I-130?

Also, will get a work permit automatically for applying to either one?

4 minutes ago, Lemonslice said:

 

First line: I am certain it's a u-visa, no police report (I'm sure I would have been notified if there was).

There is nothing saying that the crime has anything to do with you, so, no, you would not necessarily be notified. 

If she is your ex, then the best tip is to move on and let her manage her immigration stuff on her own.  Focus your energy on living your best life.

I wouldn't know what "crime" there would be. We have been together almost everyday for 3 years. I just have to wait out the divorce. I am beyond traumatized that I got abandoned the way I did when we had no issues and how much money and time I spent doing everything for her future.

2 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

If the marriage is not salvageable, I would focus on protecting myself physically and financially. Per your comments, seems she has a weak U-Visa or VAWA path forward. 

Yes, secured from that perspective. Does a VAWA or U-VISA automatically give her a work permit?

1 minute ago, Crazy Cat said:

So, you were trying to get a 2 year Home Residency Requirement waived?  If so, she has not yet filed an I-485...correct?

That was what we were trying to get waived yes. No Objection waiver came back denied.

Our original attorney filed for I-485 originally (with him knowing she was subject to 2 year HRR) and it came back denied obviously.

I can't tell you to what great lengths and mental mindset I was put through working on her waiver and she just got up and left. I spent hundreds of hours writing/reading, doctors, trauma for it.

13 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

That sounds like VAWA to me.  I thought U visas were for victims of crimes.

See I would have believed the same, but I have evidence she applied for U-visa.

9 minutes ago, appleblossom said:

 

If there's no police report/no crime then she won't qualify for a U visa. https://www.dhs.gov/sites/default/files/publications/U-Visa-Immigration-Relief-for-Victims-of-Certain-Crimes.pdf

No police report... I would know right? I mean, I didn't do anything...

5 minutes ago, SalishSea said:

OP, I think you’re confused about U visa vs VAWA.

I keep thinking the same, but the proof I have is U-Visa...

2 minutes ago, balo101 said:

I think she is applying for VAWA. 

Can you apply for U-Visa and Vawa together? The proof I have is U-visa

1 minute ago, OldUser said:

Can you please clarify?

1) Are you a US citizen?

2) Are you married to the "ex"?

3) Did you sponsor "ex" for Green Card?

4) What solid evidence do you have of her committing fraud?

1. yes

2. Married, but separated since she abandoned me (State law 1 year separation)

3. I-485 and I-765 originally denied due to a waiver she needed. I-130 was only approved.

4. The timeline of everything (especially getting her masters then leaving immediately), what she was saying behind my back throughout our marriage to my friends, relatives and employees, also texts of her trying to manipulate me into saying "if I love her" I should still apply for the waiver AFTER she left.

10 minutes ago, appleblossom said:

If there were no police reports, why do you think she applied for a U visa? Do you mean a different visa type perhaps?

I am certain it's a u-visa, no police report (I'm sure I would have been notified if there was).

AFTER she left, she suddenly said she had PTSD "like an army person". I believe she is taking the emotional abuse path by getting a psychological evaluation. She was never "unhappy" in the marriage.

It's so sad because every single person that knew us, knew how well she was being treated, what was being done for her. She was called a "princess" by everyone. She is suddenly playing a victim card and blaming me for every single thing in the marriage. She just got her education (completely paid for by me) and literally left in the middle of the day while I was at work. Her waiver I was applying for would have taken 2 years - I don't know if she was that selfish to leave just to get a work permit via U-visa?

Any suggestions?

4 minutes ago, Timona said:

Didn't you already post this? 

 

I read the same script within the last month

No I never posted on here.

My other posts were about the waiver I was working on for her prior to her abandoning the marriage.

Hi Everyone,

After all the work I was doing for my ex, I believe I was scammed based off the timeline and secrecy that unfolded after she abandoned me.

She got everything she needed out of me, while I was still in the process of working on her waiver, and disappeared. No issues with the marriage, but apparently she had been recording me during arguments at home and sharing it amongst my closest friends. NEVER any sort of police reports because we just argued like a... couple.

Everyone that knew her was always suspicious of her and all believe she had this planned all along (we're talking 15+ people).

I am almost certain she applied for a U-Visa, after she drained me of all my savings, paid off her schooling and so on.

Do I need to write to anyone to prove some of the lies, etc? I already submitted tip forms.

What can I do? Also, will she receive a work permit quickly? I feel like I am dealing with an absolute narcissist that is suddenly blaming every single thing on me and acting as a victim. I did nothing but give her the best of my capabilities.

Thanks

On 2/29/2024 at 11:17 AM, hardship_wavier21 said:

Congratulations! Who was your sponsor?

5 hours ago, PJAW said:

My statement of reason for DOS form DS3035 was four sentences or so.  Just a brief summary of why I was legally entitled to relief.  Short, but accurate summary one paragraph long.   DOS receives a copy of your form 612 and accompanying documents form USCIS when the Form 613 is issued upon USCIS finding of hardship.

Have you received your recommendation yet?

18 hours ago, Hardship2022 said:

Yes. 

Thank you! I honestly had no idea you send the same exact things to both departments.

On 2/24/2024 at 4:24 PM, Hardship2022 said:

my statement of reason along with supporting documents and evidence was around 100 pages. I have submitted All the supporting documents to DOS and USCIS

So you sent the same for both?