jzay

Congratulation and all the very best

I Can finally !!!!

Hi Everyone. I'm so sorry I have been in touch but there been alot going on.

I have to start with the bad news. The bad news is my PC been action a crazy mess and i had to go out and buy another.

My good news is that my Husband is Home with us!

Its crazy that the stress of him not being here is no more. I don't know how to act.

As some of ya'll know I live in the Mid West and its been cold! Very cold for Pat! lol. So, I guess he don't know how to act himself right now but he's working on it.

I know we wasn't the only one with interviews in Oct. Please catch up with me and let me know what's up!

Talk to ya'll soon

Thank you for you best wishes... I wish you all speed and favour in your journey.

Hey guys

Sorry I did not have the time to write an update since my last one of the POE. I am sharing my experience to encourage those who are still waiting. As some of you will know I arrived in NY on April 18th 2008. WE got married on May 15th 2008, file the AOS June 20th 2008. I-485 and I-765 was receive on June 22, 2008. I received the notice of arrival and a letter saying my case was transferred to the California service center. June 28th 2008. Biometrics appointment received on June 30th the appointment was for 07/19/2008. EAD approval notice received 9/08/08, card produced and received 09/19/08. I recieved a RFE on September 23, 2008, apparently my medical was not sent from Jamaica. I did the medical which included , HIV,syphilis, physical, flu shot, any vacine i did not get and ppd skin test. this cost me $150.00 plus the billed my medical insurance for the pathology (labs) works. I mailed the RFE on the 10/21/08 it was received 10/22/08. Permant resident card arrived in the mail today 11/03/08. I was very shocked because i was expecting an interview. I wil update my time line.

Hello all, i am very new to VJ, and just reading thru all of the forms am pretty overwhelmed. I am newly engaged to a jamaican man, who i love alot. I am going to see him in July and want to bring him to visit me in September in the states, before we start the whole paperwork journey. I have read on here about visitor visas and fiancee visas/ If we apply for a visitor visa, will it hurt our chances later of applying for a fiancee visa? HElp!!!

I agree with the others, it is hard to get a visiting visa. I was denied a visitors visa while i was in university and when I was working however it did not affect my K1 application. There was no mention of it at my interview neither at POE. The only way to be certain it to try. All the best.

The journey is almost at an end for my adjustment of status. I got the interview letter in the mail today and it is set for May 20 at 9:00 AM at Federal Plaza, NY.

All the best

I already added her yesterday, but here goes again.

JAMAICAN EMBASSY JUNE INTERVIEWS

Trulo----CR-1----June 03 @ 10:00am

Awakening-1---K-1--June 24 @ 07:30am

Trelawny--K-1---June 24 @ 1:30pm

I must say how excited I am for you all and hope that your interviews be successful

Much love always

Claire

Wow! It feels amazing to see my name and an interview date and time scheduled. Bless the Lord for favor!!

Wakey

Congrats Turlo, Trelawny and Awakening. I will keep you in my prayers. God bless

Now that Seu Jorge song is stuck in my head

what song is that, never heard of the artist

yes, you are being silly...maybe, new sheets are in order...

Trust me Almaty if I have issues with the mattress which is covered by the sheets.... what do you think i will do with those sheets Lol

Put them in the washing machine? Hehe

lol on what cycle

This is funny...I was just thinking about the mattress thing this past week. My situation is a bit different. My husband will be moving into my house so all the things will be mine. Now when it comes to the bed that is the thing that I feel is to be sacred...so I COMPLETELY agree with you with wanting to change the mattress. All other furniture is whatever...its only the bed. My husband has not asked me to change the mattress, but I want to change it myself. I thought about the cost and figured maybe I can't afford it now, so I thought I'd rearrange the entire bedroom, and get all new linens. I think its just a level of comfort and maybe a cultural thing too. So I think thats cool that you asked him to change it, he may not understand it in the beginning but he'll soon figure it out. The bed and the newlywed, both should be starting anew.

I hear that... now that you mention the culture, that is part of the reason. I am thinking back to where I got such strong believes on the topic and it can only come from my background. thanks

Does he need to change out all the other furniture in the house because she might have sat on it?

What about the plates, silverware and cups?

I agree, the marital bed is special...should be treated as sacred.

If what´s between two people isn´t special a new bed won´t make their marriage special. Not that I´m saying that´s your case not at all.

You know it´s not the bed´s fault or anything. How different is it from them having sex anywhere else in the house? Is them having sex on the couch different from them having it on the bed? Is bed the problem or is sex the problem? I don´t quite understand it.

Also when you spend a night at a hotel you don´t make them give you a brand new bed cuz other people had sex in it.

Anyway, you should feel comfortable anywhere you sleep. If the matress is the problem cuz it´s old or you just simply don´t like it for other reasons then it´s ok that you change it if you both agree on it

Ok thank for you imput.. "How different is it from them having sex anywhere else in the house" Maybe cuz the house was shared and sex was confined to the bedroom....Going to a hotel is so far off the mark to me, but then again that is just my way of thinking. I am talking about my home, my bed that i will share with my husband, not a hotel that I will spend a week in.

A new marriage is a time of accommodation and adjustments for both parties. It is often where we discover little idiosyncrasies we didn't know we had, let alone our partner has. For many it isn't a big thing to inherit furniture at the beginning of our marriage, even furnishings that were used by your partner in a previous relationship. The important issue here isn't how we feel about it - it is how the two of you feel about it.

While getting a new mattress may not be a biggie to your partner, it is obviously important to you and this is where the art of 'compromise' comes into play in making a relationship work. There are things we can each compromise on - and there are things that we can't. Hopefully, they don't clash! If having a new mattress is one of the things that you find you need to help you adjust and find a 'comfort' level in your new marriage, and it isn't a biggie to him, then the obvious solution is to get a new mattress. Your marriage is certainly worth the price of a new mattress. You will encounter other 'issues' like this in the course of your relationship so becoming aware of the things that are important to you and letting your partner know about them, plus recognizing the things that are important to your partner will help you 'negotiate' your relationship down the road. Next time it may be something important to him that he wants you to recognize and 'grant'.

So, don't worry if this time it is your need that is a requirement. He will have his own needs for which he won't be able to compromise as well. You both give and you both take in a marriage; the tricky part is determining which issues are the important ones and addressing them - and letting the unimportant ones go. This is an important issue to you, so buy the new mattress and enjoy it.

nicely said....there are points here that i will definately take from.. Thanks

I hope my wife doesn't want to replace everything used by my ex? I don't think they are doing transplants for those yet. The bed is a special case because of it's inherent properties to absorb scents, etc.. I'd replace it or just get a pad and sleep on the floor; don't the Japanese do that?

There is always stem cell or a strap on lol.....that was funny

Guys, I need your honest opinion on this matter. I have asked my fiance to change his mattress but I am feeling funny about it.

The only reason i am asking him to change it is because he's had if for a few years now and I know his ex slept there many times. Do you think i am being childish, has any of you felt like that too?

We think it is unreasonable. It is necessary to change the sofa too? The kitchen counter too? The carpet? You are just "peeing on everything" establishing your dominance and ownership.

whoelse do u want to establish ownership if not me? and a ring on my finger is all the dominance and ownership I need. Oh hell since I should change the carpet, kitchen counter and sofa why dont i just change the man!!!! read my reply to similar comments b4 this.

You can't very well expect to receive answers that only agree with your point-of-view. You did, after all, ask this question on a public board.

No one is questioning your love for your partner. Perhaps the confusion present is over merely wanting to change the mattress, while your fiance's ex may have used other facilities as well. It doesn't seem very logical. It may not have to be, but don't assume everyone here will automatically agree with you or think the same either.

So far, most of what I've seen here is people disagreeing with the general idea of changing the bed, but still somewhat understanding your overall desire to do so. That seems fair to me. I can understand someone's desire to purchase a Ferrari, but unless they have the extra cash lying around, I'd disagree with the expenditure, since those cars cost a small fortune. See what I'd getting at here?

I don't mean to come off too strong here, but... I'm honestly wondering why you've even bothered to ask us on here. We don't really know you or your partner. What possible help could we be in this situation? At best, some of us will agree and at worst, some of us will disagree. I think you came here looking for validation. You wanted others to agree with your decision and when we did (or so you thought), you'd feel confident in making the "right" choice. Even if your fiance was still uncertain at that point, you could point to us as an example of "others in similar relationships who felt the same way" to make your argument stronger.

If I'm incorrect in my assumption, please tell me so. It just seems that you're hardly willing to listen to (much less accept) an argument that counters the decision you've already decided on.

I did infact ask for your honest opinion. This is a public forum, I knew not everyone would agree. I was feeling bad that I asked him to do it so I wondered if anyone else had a similar experience and I wanted to know what the general public thought, now I know...

I explianed before my concept of a marital bed, its importance and why i did not have a problem with the fact someone else has been in the house and may or may not have relations on the counter top, the sink, the bathroom or any other facilities in the house.

The cost and who pays for it is not a problem.....You dont have to know me or my partner to have an opinion on a subject. I asked for your opinions and I got it. So thank you all. This post is not just for me. My hubby and I will read it together on saturday in our new bed and then have a good laugh about it. He will mock me a little about a few of the comments but thats part of his charm.

"I think you came here looking for validation. You wanted others to agree with your decision and when we did (or so you thought), you'd feel confident in making the "right" choice." Maybe you are right all i know is that I felt bad, and yes I thought this could be a little childish but thats how I felt. Trust me he is not uncertain, he thinks it unnecessay but he was out looking for one today so it's not a problem for him. I am the one who has the problem. I asked, I got what i wanted but i was feeling bad about it.

Even if your fiance was still uncertain at that point, you could point to us as an example of "others in similar relationships who felt the same way" to make your argument stronger. This I dont agree with.... That was not my intension. we are getting a mattress so the debate is over really. I will say this again, WE are getting a mattress. I am not building up an army against my fiance either. I was just unsure and wanted to know what your thoughts are on the subject.

Thanks for taking the time to share

God bless

Guys, I need your honest opinion on this matter. I have asked my fiance to change his mattress but I am feeling funny about it.

The only reason i am asking him to change it is because he's had if for a few years now and I know his ex slept there many times. Do you think i am being childish, has any of you felt like that too?

We think it is unreasonable. It is necessary to change the sofa too? The kitchen counter too? The carpet? You are just "peeing on everything" establishing your dominance and ownership.

whoelse do u want to establish ownership if not me? and a ring on my finger is all the dominance and ownership I need. Oh hell since I should change the carpet, kitchen counter and sofa why dont i just change the man!!!! read my reply to similar comments b4 this.

congratulation!!!!

enjoy!!!!!

Congrats!!! what a relief this must be for both of you

I totally understand your point too.

But then i try to put myself in the situation by even make it worst.. what would i do if....

he still have the matress him and his ex-wife were using and it would be the most comfy bed i have ever tested, and huge....hmmm...

I think i would buy a featherbed to go on top (add extra comfy and the top part is "clean") (pacific coast do the one in mariott hotels) and i would feel ok with it.

Now, if the matress would be ordinary and not my dream matress, it's out ! and we'll start with new....

i can make myself a reason but it needs to be for an exceptionnal item !

In real, the case do not apply to me since we will be living in his parents place at the start anyway

And will have the opportunity to buy our own matress

I have not tested it and I dont think i will, I am happy you don't have to deal with this.

Maybe it's even a little bit symbolic..kinda like trying to remove the last traces of the ex out of the place and establish that "YOU" are the new queen in the household.

Yeah, I guess it is silly, but I sleep better in our new bed!!

I like the sound of that.

yes, you are being silly...maybe, new sheets are in order...

Trust me Almaty if I have issues with the mattress which is covered by the sheets.... what do you think i will do with those sheets Lol

yes and im sorry if i offended you. i didn't mean too. but you guys will come to a solution, but just get a new bed. someone said go cheap. i say noooo. think about how much time is spent in the bed, spending extra for the comfort is worth it. they seem to last longer too. and of course, go shopping together for the bed since there are way way too many to pick from

Its ok, I asked for your honest opinion. We have decided we'll go shopping for one when I get there.

I really appreciate your opinions. This is my first real relationship and first time living with someone other than my parents and though it it exciting I think my way of thinking will be a bit off and will take a bit of getting use to.

I dont want to change what happened in the past. That was before my time and is not about me but, now I can change the mattress that has everything to do with me and my peace of mind.

I am asking myself if he was the only one to ever sleep in that bed, would i ask him to change it? In responses to those who think my issuse is based on his past relations and honestly I probebly would still ask him to. I must be really old fashioned because I still think the marital bed should be sacred dispite the change in modern lifestyle.

not silly. I made Charles buy us an entire new bed

made = nagged.

Lol..

jzay, I think the better quesion is what does your fiance say about this to you?

He says he understand where i am coming from but thinks its unnecessary.

Ah.

That's how I feel.

I can't though figure out why you are asking us. Did you want to learn if the majority of people feel the way you do? Even if they do, that doesn't make him 'wrong'. He probably sees it as just a bed.

Its not about who is right or wrong. I was a little uneasy after i asked and needed to hear an impartial opinion/view, so i thought it would be interesting to just put it out there.

jzay, I think the better quesion is what does your fiance say about this to you?

He says he understand where i am coming from but thinks its unnecessary.

If "secksy time" was the issue, then I would be marrying a virgin.

Does he need to change out all the other furniture in the house because she might have sat on it?

What about the plates, silverware and cups?

No I dont have a problem with the other funitures as i am not sleeping in/on them..I am a religious person and I think your marital bed should be sacred, so I am a little uncomfortable knowing i am sleeping in a bed the hes had sex in before.

I dont have a problem with his ex, please bear that in mind

I agree, the marital bed is special...should be treated as sacred.

I think marriage is sacred, but to me, the mattress is just furniture. And potentially an expensive purchase.

That's where I'm at too.

Besides that, it's an inanimate object.

and if its an issue of where they had secksy time, then the couch, car, carpet, sink, bathtub, where ever else might have to go too....

Like I said before my concerns are as a result of my views on MY marital BED.