jannaxhitti

HAHA... I must laugh about the 3 shirts and 2 jeans thing...

When Mexhit "moved" here, he had ONE bag... and it included 2 pairs of pants and just a few shirts. And his only pair of shoes were the ones he was wearing. I am very low-maintenance, but he made me feel like I had a lot of stuff!

It still makes me sad to think that he was still here just a short time ago...

Thanks for starting the thread, Suz... I'll try to add what I can.

I don't even know how I can thank you all for your responses and your support... These past few days have been like something I could have never imagined. I am feeling so many emotions right now--- relief yet remorse, liberation yet complete devastation. I know that this will come to pass... I will heal, and some day this will be a story I can tell that will be educational and somewhat amusing maybe... how could I have put all of myself into something and someone who turned out to be like this??? How could I not have seen the things I now see? Once I have taken a step back, things are so much more clear. There are red flags that I could have paid attention to long ago, but I chose to ignore them in the name of love. I know it is cliche, but "hindsight is 20/20".

The things you all have said to me over the past day have been invaluable and have literally kept me moving along. And I must move along, march forward... inside I know that what I have done is the best for me, but that doesn't necessarily make it hurt any less...

All I can say to all of you is thank you, merci, danke, tack, gracias, grazie, falmenderit...

Am I reading correctly that your fiance just arrived April 12?

I saw that too. Dunno about anyone else, but I couldn't send the "love of my life, my future husband" back to his home country because of some mood swings(read adjustment type behavior) and some 'very innapropriate' (read porn) material downloaded onto my PC. It would be time for a serious discussion to see how we fix the problem, but no him returning from whence he came after just one week her would not be an option at that early a stage. Just MO.

-P

Mood swings? He told me on his 4th day here that I needed to change my friends because he didn't like them. On his 3rd day here (the day I went back to work), he looked at over 60 porn websites, and each day after was the same, over and over. And on his 6th day here, he started searching personal ads, and no I don't mean "man seeking woman for friendly conversation", I mean "findhornygirls.com" with the search criteria of "male, 26, seeking female 18-35 for SEX in Minneapolis".

And it's not JUST that... when I asked him about this, he became extremely defensive and denied the whole thing (even though we were sitting in front of the computer at the time) and told me that I was insane and making these crazy things up. He said he didn't want to marry someone with mental issues who would contrive such things and "judge" people in such ways. He told me that I was a terrible person with no morals. So basically-- he turned everything he is and pointed it at me. And I'm sorry, but I don't deserve that. I have given my heart and my soul to this man, and I don't need to be treated like this.

If you were to meet this man, you would probably think that he is kind, sweet, gentle, and a complete gentleman. I used to think this too. And believe it or not, part of me still does. He had me caught under a spell-- he could say the meanest, most degrading thing to me and 15 minutes later, I would be back in his arms, smiling and happy. He is so eerily charming... and when I think about all these things, I realize that I've heard similar stories from women who've been abused. Their husband beats the ####### out of them and the next morning, everything is hunky-dorey. I don't know if he would have ever become physically abusive... and I'll never know. But I do know that the emotional abuse was enough.

So please don't judge me for "sending him away" after such a short time. This was supposed to be the "honeymoon stage" of our relationship. And if he is treating me this way now, how will he treat me 1, 5, 15 years down the road?

I believe I have made the right decision. And I appreciate all of you who are here to support me, not judge me.

I would notify USCIS. Are you sure he got on the flight? Where was his stopover? I am sure he did not have a direct flight to his country. He could have gotten off the plane in New York or somewhere, which he has every right to do. He might still be here. So I would notify even though the visa will expire he might decide to stay and you will be responsible I believe to some point.

Yes, I am sure he got on the plane. I was not going to just leave him at the airport and let him walk. I requested a gate pass from the airline, went through security with him and watched him board. Also, the flight was Minneapolis to Amsterdam direct, so he couldn't have gotten off anywhere.

So he's gone... it's all over. This thing I worked so hard for and dedicated myself to has ended. I am lost and devastated. But I should not think like that, what I could have done differently, etc. This is the man he is, and nothing could change that. I just need to breathe and move forward. This, too, shall pass.

Thank you so much, everyone, for your support. It means the world to me.

Hello all. I'm writing once again for some advice and hope that someone can help me out. After 8 months of being separated and waiting for his visa, after going to the interview and passing everything with flying colors, after arriving here in the US and finally being together... I found out that the man I was engaged to was a stranger.

Once here, half the time he was the man I remember; and the other half, he was controlling and manipulative. He also used my computer daily while I was at work to download VERY inappropriate things and to also seek out other women in Minneapolis.

I am broken-hearted... we (or maybe was it just I?) worked so hard throughout this visa process to ensure that everything would work out with the paperwork, the embassy, etc... and of course sometimes relationships don't work out, but this is all just too much. I discovered all of these things on Saturday and he was on a plane tonight, by my choice and his as well. (He still won't admit he did these things although the evidence is all on my computer... he says I've made it all up and that I'm a terrible person for being so judgmental.)

I am wondering--- I know with the I-134, I signed saying that I have all financial responsibility for him. Is that only when he is in the US?? Now that he's on his way back to Europe, am I okay or still liable? Am I safe to just let this visa expire, knowing that he can't re-enter the US? What are the necessary precautions I need to take??

I can't believe this is all happening. Please, someone, say something.

You don't need to send evidence of a genuine relationship to the USCIS. They only care if you have met in person in the past 2 years.

I think in my and my fiance's case, this was not true. I was lucky to have my Congressman on my side calling the USCIS and talking to the actual officer processing our case, and he told my congressman that he didn't believe we had a real relationship and was considering issuing a RFE for lack of evidence. We sent 2 dated photos of us together and letters of intent... unfortunately we didn't have a lot of proof at the time of sending the 129f because we hadn't taken that many photos together and no plane tickets, etc. We got lucky anyway and were approved... but who knows, maybe the guy was just pulling our leg.

If I were you, I would send everything you have. It's better in my opinion to annoy the processor with too much info than to get a RFE for not enough!

Good luck to you!!

Secondary question to the above. If you are able to go through JFK, get the temp work EAD, marry w/in the 90days and apply for the AOS/EAD/AP you can work from the beginning and if all goes well hope to get the EAD before the temp one runs out correct? We are just curious as Kris may try and get a flight through to JFK if that is the case. He hates the idea of not being able to work right away.

Yes, theoretically that would work IF you got married immediately once he entered with his K1. The reason for this is that whe you apply for the AOS/EAD/AP, it generally takes about 90 days to receive the EAD (and judging by the above observations, just applying for it isn't enough to work.) And his temporary EAD (stamp at JFK) EXPIRES 90 days after he enters the US. So more than likely, there will be a gap in his work authorization. The size of that gap would be determined by how long after he comes here you get married.

Thanks for your advice everyone!

To all Cuban VJ'rs:

After much wait and drama, we got our visa approved today!!!!

I was unable to make it to the inteview, so my fiancee had to go it alone...I just called her and she was just screaming with joy....! We talked for hours and are just planning to arrange her arrival here in Los Angeles as soon as possible (just have to deal with the cuban exit process now..)

This whole agonizing process (and specially for those us dealing with the political situation between the two countries...) really tests you, and your relationship like nothing else will I think. So, it's been a long journey and I am ecstatic that is almost over....!! My many thanks to everybody here who has provided advice and encouragement throughout the process....

The interview went quite well and was surprisingly fast. She was interviewed by a very nice lady there, who only asked two questions: where we met...and if she was member of some youth organization there...She had been a member of the youth organization while in college; but that was not a big deal. She presented all documents and tons of evidence: pictures, copies of emails, etc. She went in early in the morning; spent like 5 minutes in the interview; and was told to pick up the visa in the afternoon....

Good luck to everybody.....

David

Congrats!!

That is for those waiting for a replacement card and already approved for the EAD not for those doing a first application and not having been already approved in the past.

Bummer. I figured it must be too good to be true! Oh well, we must be patient while I continue to support the two of us... it sure hurts his ego to not be able to "bring home the bacon" though!!

Thanks for your comments!

It all depends on the company you fly with. Some do transfer your bags, others don't. But like you said, you chance companies so for sure you have to recollect your bags and check in again in Amsterdam. And I might be wrong but I think at the moment all transfers to the USA have to recheck their bags due to the security checks.

But I don't really understand your question. There are huge signs where to pick up your lugguage and where to check them in again. Also at the transfer counters which you pass on your way to the baggage belts they can help you explain where to go and what to do.

I might be wrong but I doubt your fiance has to stay in the transfer area. Pretty much all countries are issued a tourist visa whenever you pass the passportcheck and you're allowed to go where ever for 3 months.

Letty

This is the concern. I am POSITIVE that my fiance (a citizen of Kosovo) is NOT allowed to leave the transit area of the airport. I have confirmed this with the Hungarian and Dutch consulates. So, this being the case, and knowing that we are changing airlines, does anyone else have any suggestions?

Thanks for the responses so far...

Hello again...

I just found some new information regarding the EAD. According to the new I-9 form that people fill out when starting a job:

Employers must complete Section 2 by examining evidence of identity and employment eligibility within three (3) business days of the date employment begins. If employees are authorized to work, but are unable to present the required document(s) within three business days, they must present a receipt for the application of the document(s) within three business days and the actual document(s) within ninety (90) days.

(info found at: http://www.uscis.gov/files/form/i-9.pdf

So if I'm correct, it seems like if my fiance can produce the Notice of Receipt from USCIS showing he has applied for the EAD, he will be able to begin work and produce the actual EAD when it arrives within the following 90 days. Does that sound right??

Anyone out there? Please???

I was just reading a link from the "step-by-step guide to getting a SSN" in this forum and I'm confused by some of the info--

https://s044a90.ssa.gov/apps10/poms.nsf/lnx...33;opendocument

This site states:

1. Aliens Work Authorized Without Specific DHS Authorization

The following sections list nonimmigrants, by alien class of admission codes, who are authorized to work in the U.S. without specific authorization from DHS. The person’s I-94 will not have the DHS employment authorization stamp and the alien will generally not have an EAD:

K-1 Fiancé(e) of U.S. citizen

It later lists "2. Aliens Who Require an EAD from DHS Authorizing Employment" and K-1 is not listed.

What's with this?? Does this mean that if my fiance has his K-1 he can work without the EAD? I have read differently on several occasions, but reading this site has confused me.

Another thing: My fiance can apply for a SSN immediately, right? He doesn't require an EAD to apply, correct? Just want to get it out of the way....

Thanks everybody!!!!

Hello fellow VJers!

My fiance has an interview on April 8th in Macedonia and I'm fortunate enough to be able to go and attend with him...

But I have a question about our return to the US:

We are flying from Macedonia to Budapest, and Budapest to Amsterdam. I am sure he doesn't need a transit visa for Budapest and I know that our luggage will be transferred from plane to plane by the airline because both flights are with the same airline. HOWEVER... when we arrive in Amsterdam, I'm not sure if the luggage will be automatically transferred (from Malev Hungarian Airlines to Northwest) or if we need to go to baggage claim and re-check in. This may seem like a dumb question, but when I was flying within Europe last year and came to the last leg of my trip (Europe to USA), I was required to collect my bags, exit and re-check in.

Am I crazy?? And if this IS the case, what happens with my fiance, who can't leave the transit area?

Thanks in advance for your amazingly insightful responses....

HI

MY FIANCE IS ABOUT TO HAVE HIS INTERVIEW IN GUAYAQUIL AND IF ALL GOES WELL I REALLY REALLY WANT TO BRING HIM BACK WITH ME AFTER THE INTERVIEW, AND WE WOULD FLY BACK TOGETHER TO THE STATES. HOWEVER WE WOULD ALSO LIKE TO RETURN TOGETHER TO ECUADOR AS EARLY AS JUNE AND STAY FOR ABOUT A MONTH HERE IN ECUADOR BEFORE GOING BACK TO THE US AGAIN.

IS THIS AT ALL POSSIBLE, OR AM I JUST DREAMING....I DON´T WANT TO BUY HIM A TICKET TO COME BACK WITH ME AND THEN FIND OUT LATER ON THAT WE WON´T BE ABLE TO RETURN TO ECUADOR FOR A VISIT AS EARLY AS JUNE..

ANY ADVICE IS WELCOME AND ASAP....

THANKS

I'm not an expert, but if I'm correct he won't have any rights to cross borders freely until he adjusts status and receives his Green Card (which is usually 3-6 months after you apply for AOS).

Correct me if I'm wrong, fellow VJers...

Yaaaay! I'm so happy for you Susie!

Urime!!

CONGRATS!!

If only we could all have such a pleasant experience!

Prints of emails and the list of emails and texts we've exchanged since my last visit in december

A few pics from that same visit

Hi! You said here that you have emails etc since your last visit in December. Do you have anything from before then? To be honest, if your fiance (the American) is not attending with you, you will need significant evidence of your relationship. So go back as far as you can! Have you spoken on the phone at all? Do you or your fiance have evidence of this?

Bring anything and everything you can to prove that you are in constant contact with your fiance.

Well, those are my 2 cents' worth--- Bonne Chance!!!!!!!!!

Congrats!!!

What did they say when you called? I am calling but no one is answering in Kosova. The other number is the one I have for a direct line to Kosova.

Were they any help?

I forgot to mention that I had to call at least 20 times to get an answer... and no, they weren't much help. The guy I spoke to was American and pretty nice but told me that our circumstances were not special enough to expedite anything. He used the phrase "a dime a dozen"... though I know he wasn't trying to be rude, just get the message through.

So.... we've decided after a long phone conversation to reschedule the interview. We are both so bummed because we thought we were just days away from being together again. But we agreed that it's best to wait a few more weeks if that means we can fly to the US together...

Thanks everyone for your support!!!

I agree! Still go to the interview and get the denial based on getting the certificate. I am going through the same problem with the Skopje for this UN certificate. I don't know why the local certificate is not sufficient? I guess they question the validity of the local certificate. The Consulate in Skopje should be telling people ahead of time it is needed but they don't. I think that is ridiculous and inefficient on there part. THey are denying everyone based on not having this certificate. YOu would think they would be more proactive in there jobs and notify people.

Did you find the number for the place in Kosova? I have a number but don't know if it the correct number?

The number I called this morning was the UNMIK number ini New York, and then when I enter the extension, I was transferred to Kosovo. Calling NY is sure cheaper than calling Kosovo! Here are both the Kosovo and NY numbers:

+381-38-504604, ext. 5071

1-212-963-8442, ext. 5071

So.... I'm still struggling to decide whether I should just go as planned and attend the interview-- knowing that he won't get approved. I think it will kill me to go there and then come back alone! The plan all along was that we would be side-by-side on the way back... I don't think I'll be able to leave him there!!

I think we should just reschedule the interview, despite the costs... I need to bring my baby home!

It sounds like you're taking the steps you need to take. As for the value judgement about travel arrangements and re-scheduling the interview, you're on your own.

I think the worst case would be they give an initial denial and ask that the correct police certificate be supplied ASAP following which they will issue the visa soon thereafter. That's going to impact his travel date, if you cut it too close and yours too, if you decide to stay and wait.

The best case is that you skate through with the certificate you have. It probably wouldn't hurt to email the Consulate for their guidance.

Thanks... it's great to have another person's perspective. It's difficult when I'm so submerged in it-- it's impossible to think objectively!

I'm so sad!!! I have my tickets to go to Macedonia on Friday to meet my fiance (whom I haven't seen in over 7 months) and he has an interview scheduled on Tuesday which I am going to attend. But we found out at the end of last week that he needs a different police certificate than the one he had before (he had one from local Kosovo police but apparently needs one from the United Nations- who have governed Kosovo since 1999). So instead of going Friday or yesterday, he finds out today that he has to wait 15 DAYS for the certificate!!!!!! And our interview is in 7!!! We know that he will be denied the visa without this certificate. I am so upset!!

I'm going to get up at 3am and call the UN in Kosovo and hope that I can talk to someone... if there's someway we can stress how important this is, maybe they'll help??? And he's going tomorrow after his medical and is going to bring his packets with the interview date, etc. as well as a letter from my Congressman about the interview. They just have to help!!!

But if we cannot expedite this certificate-- do I go anyway on my scheduled flight and we go to the interview without it? Do we pray that they cut us some slack? Or do we reschedule the interview for a later date? If we do that, I'll have to change my flight and his flight here (which have already cost me an incredible amount of money... I know I shouldn't have bought his ticket here yet, but I wanted to make sure we'd be on the same flight on the way back. And of course I chose the cheapest tickets which are non-refundable and have a $200 change fee each- plus the difference in price.) I guess I shouldn't be focusing on the money... My mom always says that "money is just money. You can always make more!" And believe me, I'm not rich. This whole deal has put me in credit card debt up to my knees. But the important thing is that I go, whatever the cost.

I think we should probably reschedule the interview, but I'm having difficulty making that final decision because I want to see him so badly! But I know I must be practical...

Please, friends, tell me what you think...

I'll have to admit that so much in your post does not make sense to me. How can there be an interview scheduled if he hasn't received the packet 3 and returned the appropriate forms? There would be no interview date if the Embassy hasn't already received all of the required documents (including the completed DS-230). Yes, it is required for a K-1 visa application. How can they possibly send out the packet 4 at the same time as the packet 3? Again, I am just completely baffled by the way you describe the circumstances. Sorry that I can't help you more. Good luck!

Sorry to baffle you!! The embassy in Macedonia works very differently. Packets 3 and 4 are sent out together, which is fine with me as it speeds everything up! I don't know why they do this, they just do. And the reason I found out the interview date is because I emailed the embassy and they are really nice! They had already mailed out the packets (my fiance just hadn't received them yet) so they had the interview date on file.

The good news is, my fiance received the packets this morning! So we don't have to worry about not having them... Anyway, thanks for your help. Sorry to confuse you!