surrender

I no longer have this womans email address, i must have deleted it. that is why I have not told her anything. and to be honest I am a little afriad.

the man here is telling his family that he doesnt care that she cannot give him chidlren and that he doesn't care about having kids. anyonethat knows the culture knows that is bonkers and maybe he is just lying to himself. he has made mention that he wants to go from canada to america and when they asked abou his wife (soon to be) he said shewould come with him. i doubt that.

why would she pick up her home and move with him to america? he must plan on leaving her because he knows some egyptians who live in america now and have a nice life.

I feel sick - in one way I want to avoid her and not be part of making her feel like their relation is real or acceptable so I avoid the guilt but ont he other hand ohhhhhhh i just don't know.

also he knows how i feel about the situation because i hardly look at or talk to him at all anymore.

How easy is it for someone in Canada (without citizenship or residency) to travel to the states easily?

The fact that you are asking that question in this particular thread is disturbing to me..

Why should it ? I am just curious. perhaps I can dissuade him from his plans by lettin ghim know it is not as easy as he migh think.

Perhaps you are right, I guess I shouldn't say naive or retarded but ignorant of how things work outside of her own country and her own isolated lonliness. Cripes get a pet, a dog would help with that I think, but truly at this point I don't think she would listen.

If her family is tellig her to calm down and she doesnt listen I doubt a complete stranger telling her would affect her.

besides, these men do sweet talk when they want something badly enough. I've heard of 22 year old boys telling 65 year old women that they are the most beautiful thing they've ever seen and then turning around and doing it to 10 others. I just hope he knows what he is doing, she could be unstable and get really pissed off when she figures out he is just using her. she could have him arrested or worse.

It sounds to me like you are trying to justify not telling her? Hey, I'm not blaming you, it's a sticky situation you are in, not REALLY wanting to get involved but caring enough to want to try and help another human being from possibly being very hurt.

You might want to mention to him that when he does get to Canada, which could be a very long time, if they decide to apply with him outside of the country, he will probably be sitting waiting for that PR card for quite a while (based on the little we know of the relationship it sounds like it has red flags posted all over it). Even if they apply with him in Canada, he could be sitting around waiting for a few years, with nothing much to do!

Canada immigration can be just as tough as U.S. immigration and he might just end up in a review for several years, this poor woman will probably get to know him very well in that time.

How easy is it for someone in Canada (without citizenship or residency) to travel to the states easily?

I am in need of some advice. And it is a doozy.

My hubby is from Gambia and naturally thinks that I am rich. I have been able to travel their several times off of Buddy Passes given to me. Only pay $300-400 (taxes) for a roundtrip trip ticket. Couldn't afford to go otherwise.

Basically, I am not rich and live almost check to check when I don't watch it.

So, my so seems to get upset and thinks I don't love him because I can't send money. He truly believes that I am playing games and hoarding money when he is barely eating. Mind you the U.S. dollar gets about $21 of theirs, so whenever I would come, naturally I have a little extra just because of the exchange rate. Heck even going with $500 will net you a pretty sack of change in the exchange department.

Anyway, his "buddies" are filling his head with insane idea's that I must have married him to get "some". Many women actually come their to get a man to have relations with. I told him that I wasn't rich at all and and doing my level best to even get him here. (barely making ends meet for myself). Then I told him to look at my picture we took together again and think if I REALLY NEEDED to go to another country for a guy. He QUICKLY shut up and said yeah well.... (mumbling incoherent jargon). (hahaha. Need I say more.)

I am at a lost and sad from this whole situation. It doesn't help that I can call him (cheap phone cards) and he associates that (my ability to call regularly) with having loads of money. (even says "if you can call 3 times a day everyday, you must be rich.)

I am almost ready to stop the petition and wait until his head is on straight. lol

Any idea's?

waht does he need money for? food?

how did he eat before he met you?

suddenly he needs your money to eat?

humph! he's using you - move on

that rep ron paul looks promising

At this point she is on her own. I was considering telling her when she came to egypt

but now - she sounds hopeless. w ould she buy a brand new car for a canadian man she has never met? probably not so why this guy.

i am past thinking she is naive - now i think she is just retarded.

She doesn't sound stupid.. she just sounds lonely and "in love" and not thinking clearly.

I know I've been there before... was in a 3 year abusive marriage as a result.. There are probably tones of factors compounding the problem, including this guys' ability to sweet talk and sell her the universe.. She has no other information other than he's "the man of her dreams".. I'm sure her family in Canada is trying to tell her to calm down, but without the other side of the story.. she's got no balance (if she in fact is open to it)..

Perhaps you are right, I guess I shouldn't say naive or retarded but ignorant of how things work outside of her own country and her own isolated lonliness. Cripes get a pet, a dog would help with that I think, but truly at this point I don't think she would listen.

If her family is tellig her to calm down and she doesnt listen I doubt a complete stranger telling her would affect her.

besides, these men do sweet talk when they want something badly enough. I've heard of 22 year old boys telling 65 year old women that they are the most beautiful thing they've ever seen and then turning around and doing it to 10 others. I just hope he knows what he is doing, she could be unstable and get really pissed off when she figures out he is just using her. she could have him arrested or worse.

At this point she is on her own. I was considering telling her when she came to egypt

but now - she sounds hopeless. w ould she buy a brand new car for a canadian man she has never met? probably not so why this guy.

i am past thinking she is naive - now i think she is just retarded.

Newest update, this Canadian woman is buying him a car here, a NEW one.

Gosh I don't know if I should care so much about someone willing to buy a brand new

vehicle for someone they've never met.

Thanks for the information.

the funny thing is when we had the first interview they asked us N-O-T-H-I-N-G. we had our daughter with us and he asked if she was ours and saw her birth certificate and he said he was approving the petition, that i needed to set up a domocile in the states and they would mail the visa application packet which we have now received.

what questions do they ask in that interview? anything? or are they just wanting to make sure they have all of the documents and paperwork requested?

does anyone know?

Update:

the father tried to talk to his son. the son admitted he was only marrying the woman for a visa. he said 'it is my only way out of egypt'. the father claims the son is not listening to anyone and is going ahead with his plan.

so my husband will try to talk to this family member and see if that help but i think if the father cannot affect him then nothnig can.

the next step is to tell this man that when or if the woman comes i will tell her the truth of what is going on. im sure he will coach her first to tell her i will lie to her and make these things up wouldnt' you think?

Yes, I think you are right, he will probably tell her you are a liar and just want to sabotage his relationship with her - because you don't agree with it or something equally ridiculous.

'It is my only way out of egypt'. He sounds like a real twit - using someone else for a visa - it shows such a lack of moral character it makes you wonder what else he would do.

Isnt that the truth !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at this time i dont put anything past this parasite. thats my new word for him

im not sure if i should alert the embassy or canadian people, i would have no idea how to do that and it could just be hearsay if i cant give them proof. i am thinking to just tell HIM that when or if she comes i will tell her the truth if he will not. the rest is up to her.

god i wish she was on this site it would just be easier. but also i agree with what someone else said - if it doesnt work with this woman he will probably just try another woman from another country. i think the issue stems from seeing my husband and i married and creating a family and moving back out west and he wants the same for himself. which is ok! but jeesh do it in an honest way - ya know ??

Update:

the father tried to talk to his son. the son admitted he was only marrying the woman for a visa. he said 'it is my only way out of egypt'. the father claims the son is not listening to anyone and is going ahead with his plan.

so my husband will try to talk to this family member and see if that help but i think if the father cannot affect him then nothnig can.

the next step is to tell this man that when or if the woman comes i will tell her the truth of what is going on. im sure he will coach her first to tell her i will lie to her and make these things up wouldnt' you think?

Once the visa application is sent in and the interview is set up for the non-citizen, what happens during this interview? What questions do they ask?

We filed with the consulate in Egypt if that helps. thanks.

i am often thinking what this woman (from montreal) is thinking myself. cant she see or perhaps he is whispering the nice things in her ear she wants to hear. i think if it were my mom i would be humuliated. she just seems to be in laa laa land. part of me feels its her own fault for believing so easily she never even met the guy ! but on the other hand i feel she just doesnt understand the culture & if she did she might look at him really much differently.

i cant imagine what he must be telling her but she is buying everything. part of me wants to just send an anonymous email to her but that is so cowardly and the other part of me wants to send an email as myself just telling her what I think and say 'the rest is for your mind'. let her think the rest over and make her best decision. the man involved here may kill me if i did that.

i just wonder with some women what evidence it would take to convince them?

what evidence would it take to convince any of you if you were that woman?

Thank you to everyone who replied. I have a lot of thinking to do.

I have over the last few days joined forces with the husband and his sisters to confront

this problem from a family front. My husband told this mans father that there was discussion

of romance and nice words involved and that she wasn't just some nice old woman wanting

to help him out. (those are his words not mine. i know 56 isn't OLD but he wants his family to think she is old as they will compared to him coz in egypt a 56 year old woman and a 32 year old man is laughable. this further expounds on the fact that he is being deceitful while he tells HER he lovse her and tells everyone else she is just old and likes to help him because they met online and she thinks hes a nice guy).

also she has been mailing him packages here every few weeks with gifts for him and his sisters and baby nieces and its just getting weird. I find it difficult to imagine he wants anyone to think she is just a friend when she is clearly so involved with sending these gifts.

like there are OLDER women sitting around just waiting to spend their money and time on a man young enough to be their son and getting nothing in return. I think if they both loved each other and it was genuine that would clearly be one thing but that isn't the case here. This man was chatting with other women - in other countries - for quite a while and may still be, just waiting for the one who takes the bait.

not sure about contacting the woman at this point - may wait out to see if the family pressure helps although I seriously doubt it. i cannot even look at this man anymore and both my husband and i are pretty upset that he has taken this way in his dealings with a foreigner. he had the opportunity to marry a very nice - his age- woman from romania as she had converted to his own religion (not important everywhere but its a big deal here) but he passed it by because he thought canada had better opportunities than romania. So he tells his family NOW that she has an aunt who owns a business and the aunt will try to get him a business visa !!

Is there no end to these mens lies ?? meanwhile I have personally seen cards and letters to him where this canadian woman professes her undying love to the woman, how much she misses him and her desires for him - I feel badly for her. Nobody deserves to be treated like that - my opinion - If he wants to leave his country for better opportunities that is his right but he should do it in an honest and right way. lying someone into love to get to their country long enough to get citizenship or whatever and then bail out to travel to a differnet country is SO WRONG. I just feel if it were me i would be so hurt if many people knew or suspected something and never tried to stop him or make him see reason.

Hello everyone and thanks for your replies.

I do have the womans email address and have spoken to her a couple of times. The man in question is a family member and it would be difficult to give proof I suppose other than he is hiding the fact of his feelings from his family and telling everyone she is some nice ELDERLY lady who wants to help him get a visa only - not a real marriage-.

I dont know. i would want to know too so i have a dilemma.

I know from the horses mouth and from the things I have seen and read that it isn't real, that he doesn't love or care about her and he plans on ditching her as soon as he has the opportunity. she blieves him to really love her and I guess my dilemma is, would i want to know the truth?

would you?

ok here is the scenario:

i know there is an egyptian man that is using a woman for a visa.

she is 25 years his senior and he has been romancing her and doing anything to get a marriage.

she sent him an invitation for a tourist visa but he was denied from the embassy in cairo. now they are planning to marry in march as she wants to come to egypt to marry him. he will then try to follow her back to canada.

my dilemma is this:

should I say something? i know he doesn't love her and he is simply using her to leave the country, i know this for a fact (i cant say how i know). is there any way to tell the embassy in cairo to expect the filing for a spousal visa or should i ?

also he has made mention that he will go from canada to america and he tells his family she is just an elderly woman who wants to help him get papers to leave and nothing more.

i feel bad about this and wonder what you would do.

Ok I have checked and we did file through the consulate in cairo.

so i guess the next step is filling out the packet of information andsending it in.

I have a question. when we send in the information they ask for do we send copies of the documents ALSO the originals or what?

thats not good news

sorry it happened but i hope things will work out