Marine9000

January 6, 2008

Glad it is all working out for you so far. The whole process is extremely easy and fast, at least was in our case.

I apologize in that I jsut reread my post and realize that I didn't tell you to contact me if you needed the rest of the fedex package or any help. I have the whole thing scanned as I wasn't sure what it entailed initially and had her order it and then scan and email it to me.

If you need any assistance or have questions feel free to fire away and I will try to help. Te forum here is a great place. I would also recommend checking out the MAG-ANAK yahoo group. It is US-Fil couples and deals primarily with immigration and other topics of interest to Fil-Am couples. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MAG-ANAK/ There are some very experienced folks who are extremely willign to help with immigration matters and have the experience with PI situation specifically to really help.

Not sure if the plug violates the ToS here, so I guess I will find out by trying.

Neil

January 6, 2008

We all make some mistakes when it comes to dealing with our spouse's family and money. I did as well, but after talkign and working out a plan with my wife we reached a solution that we were both happy with and jsut had to get started on.

I apologize up front as this seemed to get a little disorganized an dI simply couldn't come up with the best solution to putting it into order.

Luckily my wife and I agree on the issue as a whole, but we had to talk and reach a middle ground. We both compromised on things, me "nothing", her "the moon." All seems to be working for now and most importantly WE are in agreement and comfortable with our decision. Another big thing that really helped was an early discussion that we had and our agreement that my wife told the family that I work for, earn and control the money. They can ask her, but I will make the final decision. It was more effective for us (I think) as we often travelled back to her home, small squatter barangay in Bataan quite a bit when we lived on Luzon. At that time I wouldn't even consider a request for help unless they came and talked to us in person (Fear Factor PI: Face the Kano). This has obviously changed since I am not there now, but the same basic rules and principles still apply.

This cut extended family requests considerably and made them almost all, no kidding, legitimate. For us this has so far been a few requests for help with medicine for various neices and nephews. These we handled relatively simply by having the doctor fax us a note with the situation and the prescription for us to have filled and given to them. We are fortunate that we are close to a Mercury drug in the PI and are able to quickly get the medicines. No money ever goes to the family, only the actual medicine, usaully delivered by my wife as most family is within an hour or so tops. We did send one via courier, but that was because the medicine was for a premature neice and had to come from Manila. The only other thing I recall was a request to help pay for a tutor for her younger brother in school, this we did, finding and hiring the tutor for him.

Immediate family has hit us with requests occasionally after we moved in together and eventually married. My wife worked and used that money to support her younger sister in school and her grandmother who the sister lived with. This didn't amount to a lot of money, probably only P3000 per month on average, but that was a life of luxury for them based on their needs. Unfortunately, lola had a stroke and passed away and shortly thereafter sister dropped out of school and ran off to live with her boyfriend. Occasionally her mom would ask for money for specific things, medical, presents for younger brother, etc. which she usually gave.

The way we handled it, as I didn't want her working and we lived together moving around various parts of the PI as I worked. I continued to support her sister and grandmother as I felt the education part was important, but we cut and managed the expenses as well. They get all their food from the local sari sari so we visited the owner and set up an "account" with them. They would basically log all the purchases in a notebook which we could review on our infrequent visits and we would just either send money to the sister to pay the bill each month or send money via cellphone (Smartmoney, I think, but am forgetting as haven't done it in a long time). Could they cheat us on this, yes, but the food and costs were in line with wat was expected. We gave her sister a small allowance and provided for her school and clothing needs, etc.

After everything changed (Lola died and sis dropped out) we stopped the money obviously. Mom and sis occassionally asked for money and we helped on occasion, maybe 1 of every 3 times, depending on what the request was for.

Finally we discussed how to help them and stop the continued requests for money at the same time. We suggested setting up some sort of business venture that they could do to try and make their own money. We provided both mom and sis with P5000 as seed money for a fish vendor and sari sari store in their respective neighborhoods with te understanding that this was a sink or swim proposition. We are still only about 5-6 months into and will see hwat comes as a result.

Mom has made a strong go of it and as such will get our help even if it should fail. Her big problem now (as most local vendors and stores find) is people wanting to buy on credit. Easy if you have the capital, not so easy when you are starting as she is. She did temporarily close her fish sales fo rth eholidays as she said everyone wanted credit now and she couldn't do it. Being the holidays jsut ended we haven't seen the results yet. I will probably help her if needed as she is making a go at it and not lookign for nothing but a handout.

Sister is a whole different story. Sari Sari store, WALA!!! Have had one request for money since the agreement which my wife simply replied to with what happened to the store. End of discussion from sister. We will see what happens and go from there. I think she got a little to accustomed to somethign for nothing and is now facing the reality of her new life, boyfriend and no school. I would probably help her if she tried to go back to school as I see that as a potential to let her help herself.

And that is where we are at now. I budget about 250 pesos a month of "gray" area money which she uses to send her sister and mom load occassionally, but other then that we are at a happy medium for the moment. Next change I am sure to come soon, but hey, that is life.

Is it perfect, no, does it work for now, Sure. I know it will change again at somepoint, but again WE are happy and in agreement. This is just our method and we are hapyp with it for now.

Neil

January 2, 2008

Not sure if you realize it, but you posted the same thread twice. I answered in detail on the other thread. The link is here. I am cutting and pasting my reply, but you need to go to the original post to get the attachment.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=102767

I will not proclaim to be an expert on these matters but I can dispel a few of the misunderstanding/assumptions that you have presented in regards to marriage in the Philippines and the Consular Report of Birth Abroad in the Philippines.

The US has, does and continues to recognize the marriage of US citizens and Filipinos. I personally was married in a civil ceremony in Negros Oriental in February 2007. As long as you meet the local requirements (which may vary somewhat depending on locale and personal religion) and have the US Embassy Legal Capacity to Marry Form, which the local registrar's office shoudl ask for, you can be married anywhere in the country and have it recognized by the US (as long as you meet all the legal requirements to be married, etc.) That is technically the purpose of the capacity to marry form, but it is based on your sworn statements and information so could theoretical not be legal if you lied.

You are eligible to marry her in the PI and apply for a K3 or IR1/CR1 visa and bring her that way or wait and bring her via K1 and marry in the US. THere are pros and cons to all ways and you need to determine what is best for you both and your situation.

Regarding getting your daughter Aeisha reported and registered via the embassy the first step is to start the process of collecting documents. The attachment to this reply is the first page of the package that the Embassy will provide you via FEDEX which details many of the requriements. Further internet search can of course fully flesh the details out.

For your convenience the U.S. Embassy has partnered with FEDEX to provide basic information, forms and pick-up/delivery services. Applicants may avail themselves of this service for a nominal fee by calling the Fedex Call Center Exclusive Hotline: (63) (2) 879-4747, 7:30am - 4:30 pm, Mon-Fri, except American and Philippine holidays. Completed applications may also be mailed directly to the American Citizen Services Section, Attn: Passport /Citizenship, U.S. Embassy Manila, 1201 Roxas Boulevard, Ermita 1000, Manila, Philippines.

I do know for a fact (I did this myself and we just completed my daughters CRBA and passport application in Decemeber at the USEM) that you can submit the whole process using your passport only without your CRBA. The only downside to this is you would need to be with out a passport while it is processing (they may allow you to submit an expired US passport with a notarized copy of your current one but that is strictly my opinion and may nto work). The whole thing took me approximately 4 weeks from the time I mailed my documents (including passport) until they were returned to my wife alogn with our daughter's passport.

That said... we were not married at the time of conception. We married at about 7 months. I am liste don the birth certificate. When my wife went to the interview for our daughter's claim they required out marriage certificate and evidence of relationship and support prior to my daughter's birth. In our case it was difficult as we shared a house with other expats so didn't have a lease in our names our joint assets, etc as we hadn't married yet. I also lacked much in the way of financial documents to show as I was living in the PI at the time so didn't need to do wire transfers, chat online, etc as I was there. We presented a few photos from our various times together as well as a few bank statements from the 8th month (when I returned to the US) until about 6 moths of age showing my support of them financially and our relationship in the fashion of phone records (very limited) and IM conversation logs (turn on the archive feature as it is a great proof of relationship/communication feature) I didn't print the whole log, just screen captures showing all the dates we talked, nto the actual transcripts themselves.

The prescreener and consular officer both asked my wife several questions about our relationship and timelines, but she was able to answer everything just fine as there was nothing to hide.

As far as the DNA test, well that is unfortunately at the discretion of the consular officer reviewing your application if they don tfeel your documentation and information supports your claim to paternity.

I can tell you that regardless of what rote of visa you take for your wife to be, getting your daughter recognized now as a citizen makes the whole process much easier. Then the issue is not with her, but your wife/wife-to-be only. I would personally recommend this and believe that it will make it easier for your wife when she comes through the POE eventually with child in hand.

I do not believe (OPINION ONLY) that Aeshia would gain US citizenship by accompanying her mother and you two marrying later. I am not an expert on this aspect and am not sure where to look so will leave it at that.

You should be able to complete this entire process in approximately 6 weeks in my opinion. The main reason for the delay is that it will require you to basically fill out the passport form and a few others which must be notarized and sent to the PI. All the other forms you can find via the internet. You then need to send these to your significant other. She will call the FEDEX number above and get the package delivered (think it is between 300-400 pesos, but don't quote me on it). Once she receives all the forms you send her she replaces the ones in the package with the same completed and notarized ones you sent her and the NSO security paper issued birth certificate and calls them to pick the package up and deliver it back to the embassy. That is what the fee covers.

The embassy will then contact your SO after receipt and schedule an interview which will require Aeshia to be present. If all goes fine at the interview they will tell her then and she will be sent the passport via Courier in a few weeks after that. The only thing needed for her after that is to get her Exit Clearance before departing PI. THis is covered in the papers they send you with the passport so don't sweat it yet.

Total cost: Approximately $300 for us (postage from US, fees to embassy, hotel and transportation[ferry from Bataan] in transportation), possibly more depending where they are at.

Hope this all helps,

Neil

You can order the NSO certificates required for everything online and have them delivered to your SO in the PI. This is the cheapest route P300 per copy as opposed to like $20 per copy if you do it via credit card from the US. I have used it multiple times for my wife and daughters birth certifcate and our marriage certificate. The site will give yo uthe details, but you do the submission online and then she will go to a local bank (listed on the site) and make a payment based on what you order and they will be delivered to her. I think turnaround for us is about 2 weeks to Bataan.

https://www.ecensus.com.ph/Secure/frmIndex.asp

January 2, 2008