Noivo007

My family wants me to try counseling and more time. All PM's suggest to let it go. Thanks all, PM's are appreciated.

We love each other but apparently, I get on her nerves too much. I am the sponsor and really don't want to mess up her opportunity to study here and help out her family. Any ideas on how to make this work? If I am unhappy because she is upset all the time, is it worth four years of sticking it out.

Do I give her time to say her fairwells to class mates or give her like 2 days to pack and be on her way?

Should I get her a ticket and then let her know when she gets home that it is one way? hehe a bit mean eh? I just don't want a week of moping or arguing while she waits for her plane.

Are there ways to seperate and / or possibly let her live abroad and get this done without too much pain.

Mind you I still love her and wish she was the one but she said see has no intimate feelings for me and I should not be so attached to her and we can just live as roomates (while I pay for everything and reform her mother's home and pay for her daughters school and housing).

I take it you have been married only a few months? If so, this is the terrible adjustment time for both of you, especially her. Think over this situation for another month, give her the space she seems to want, and see if you can develop a stronger relationship without drowning her with attention. Don't send out any more cash until she discusses it with you -- discussion, meaning a two-way conversation over where this is all going.

yes its about 3 months and there are lots of reasons that her expectations have not been met. Her getting work, learning English, seeing her daughter, us moving etc, etc. But yeah we need to talk. In terms of what was said, hey people say things. Even if they mean it, they have other feelings that may not have been said. Her cousin flip flops about her husband every week, from loving him like no other and then wishing she can leave him.

It believe that after the conditional residency, you can live separately, but in order to have the conditions removed you most show proof of a bona fide marriage by sharing property or having a child. Any info on this?

maybe try marriage counseling, and talk less.

simple is sometimes best. funny though a friend of mine did the same thing, (both of them are brazilian and were living here). He told me, save the 100 bucks, I will tell you what the counseler told me, "buy her a plane ticket"

You're trying to write a book rather than giving facts. You married within the 90 days allotted on her K-1, and now what? Has the I-485 been filed for her and the child?

Thanks for getting me focused. Sorry about the book, flushing out my thoughts before I act or overact unwisely. I don't like the fact of giving up on a marriage.

Fact- We got married on K-1 within 90 days

Fact- I Have yet to send in the I-485

I would like to consider separating before divorce

Fact - I am would like to know if anyone has experience with this type of marriage.

Fact - I have 2 American friends married for 10 years. They lived separately, one in the east coast and the other in the west coast for 8 years. When they moved in together, the got divorced within 2 years. I view my marriage as bonifide as their marriage.

Fact - She asked me if I would consider living separately as a married couple in HER country. (her mom lives seperately from her new boyfriend because they couldn't live well together)

and did you miss the part where english is not the wife's first language? Who knows what the wife said exactly? She could very well have meant 'I need some space dear' with her comment(s).

Can't see that in the OP. As far as I know, she speaks perfect english.

Thanks for giving the benefit of the doubt. She doesn't speak English yet . I believe the comment meant 1) you need more wood in the fire so to speak (there are things that I don't "do" for her anymore, but I have been working on) and also 2) because of our situation, there wont be any huggy kissy cause a) I am not really into that and anyway B) 1 is making a) even worse.

Thanks all for the quick reply. The story is long and sorted but yes I am a fool for love and really don't much care what her motives are. I like her as a person. We just don't mix as well as we had hoped. I believe she came here for love. We met through friends of mine.

After the 3 month k-1 period here in the states, and a few arguments, she may have done it for convenience. We met 7 years ago with a long gap including us getting serious once she was pregnant. I was nuts for her baby but she could not leave the dad. These stories get long and its impossible to give an accurate picture unless you are a Pulitzer prize winner which i am not. I would love her to have the best chance to change her live.

She thinks she is the type who needs to be alone with her and her daughter. She didn't have to tell me that. And it was me who suggested the roommates thing first. I was willing to do anything to make her happy. Its just that the roommates situation is hard when I still get on her nerves hahah.

Anyway, my main thing is how long will this relationship have to last for her to get on her feet and GC. How does doing it as a separated couple work? I still want the best for her and her daughter. I would love for to go home and forget about the US. Maybe that will be the case. She really misses home.

We love each other but apparently, I get on her nerves too much. I am the sponsor and really don't want to mess up her opportunity to study here and help out her family. Any ideas on how to make this work? If I am unhappy because she is upset all the time, is it worth four years of sticking it out.

Do I give her time to say her fairwells to class mates or give her like 2 days to pack and be on her way?

Should I get her a ticket and then let her know when she gets home that it is one way? hehe a bit mean eh? I just don't want a week of moping or arguing while she waits for her plane.

Are there ways to seperate and / or possibly let her live abroad and get this done without too much pain.

Mind you I still love her and wish she was the one but she said see has no intimate feelings for me and I should not be so attached to her and we can just live as roomates (while I pay for everything and reform her mother's home and pay for her daughters school and housing).

If you love her and think you can handle it, seek counseling. Otherwise, save yourself and herself the agony.

Thanks,

I figured as much. Its not a big deal, gives me more time for planning and preperation for arrival, gathering of proof of contact etc. I guess I couldn't believe that the check could be cashed so fast in such a big place and then just sit around. On the other hand, check cashing doesn't require any scrutiny or analysis, so it makes sense that it is done quickly.

But 2 months to release a suspension, when it only took about 2 weeks to give out the suspension didn't make sense to me. I guess, if it goes into a general problem box (and not a hold for check box), then I have to wait until they get to my particular problem, then they resolve it. No more complaints. thanks for the help.

There may be a lesson in this somewhere for you but I'm pretty sure it isn't a lesson in how to complain and blame others for the consequences of your mistakes.

I was just asking a question, does it mean another 6 weeks or so from the October date, or the date that they cashed my check wich was back in August. Since no one answered my question, I will assume from the tone of the responses that I did receive, that it mean that all the filers prior to October 22 are now ahead of me. Thank you for your responses.

I guess what I expected was a 1 or two week delay considering that they received and cashed the payment within 3-4 days later. Pardon me if that makes me a complainer and blamer.

Anyway the problem with funds has been corrected. My fiance no longer has access to that account and will call me the same day that she uses any funds.

There may be a lesson in this somewhere for you but I'm pretty sure it isn't a lesson in how to complain and blame others for the consequences of your mistakes.

I was just asking a question, does it mean another 6 weeks or so. I didn't like the fact that they held on to the money and don't think its correct. But that is a matter of opinion. Anyway the problem with funds has been corrected. My fiance no longer has access to that account and will call me the same day that she uses any funds.

I am surprised that they didn't send the entire package back to you. I really can't see why you would expect them to do something different than what they have done.

If they would have sent it back to me, that would have been great. Because they would have received the money 3 days later with a new packet.

What bugs me is that they received and CASHED the correct funds 3 days later on about August 26th or so and then tell me that they just received the funds on October 22 and I am no longer in suspension. I could have used the 485 bucks (+/- 40 late fee) over the last 8 weeks.

I mismanaged my account and my check bounced. I sent money in August 18, it was cashed 3 days later and then sent back for insufficient funds. I sent the correct funds and that was cashed about August 26 or so. Although the check was cashed in August, I got the following letter. Does this mean that I am now on a 6 month time span again? I already received the N0A1 before notice that it was suspended. I think its B.S. that they held on to my money for 2 months and are saying that they just received it. I am not so sure how to interpret the part in bold.

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The last processing action taken on your case

Receipt Number: EACxxxxxxxxxx

Application Type: I129F , PETITION FOR FIANCE(E)

Current Status: Corrected fee payment received; case now pending.

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