Teacher

Thanks, but the AR-11 form wont change my address in the USCIS database and the one you fill out online doesnt work for any pending cases.

We changed our address with AOS pending with no problem

Yah, us too.

Ditto! Then I called to make sure it was changed and they wouldn't give me any information. They just said "if you got the printed of receipt then it was changed" and it was.

Thanks for the info and your understanding. I am overwhelmed and stressed to the max at this point. He just got his physical. Portugal is being quite lazy about everything but it'll work out. I haven't seen him since April and it's killing me. We can't even have a complete phone conversation. It keeps cutting out when he calls. I've gotta have surgery and I need him here. I'm 10 hours away from my family and I don't want to go it alone.

I know everyone here has been through it or will go through it and I appreciate you. Good luck.

When you say you were approved, you mean your I-129F was approved and sent to the NVC and then to the embassy right? and it says Valid from 9/x/07 to 12/x/07? Once the Embassy receives the information from the NVC, that validation date no longer matters - as it was explained to me, after the embassy is involved they do something automatically to extend that date without you ever knowing or being told about it. My hubby's was valid from 1/x/07 to 4/x/07 but his interview wasn't until May 5th, 2007 and it made no difference.

As far as the affidavit of support, and further information, the embassy will not contact you from here on out - it is now your hubby's responsibility (scary I know at least that's how I felt relinquishing control lol) He will be the one with whom the embassy communicates, and he will let you know what you need to send to him, you can also check the K-1 guides and I bet they will help you to figure out what information you will eventually need to send to him, and you can go ahead and start gathering it now

I'm sure other people can add more, good luck!

Edit: here is a link to the K-1 guides for you: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=300

Thanks to everyone.

We got approved. He received something from the Embassy. He's under the impression that he has to get all these background checks done personally and then mail them in with the forms or take them to the interview or something. I thought he just completed and mailed in the forms and the embassy did the background checks. Anyone know for sure? I'm worried that he's wasting time trying to get this background check from Portugal (they are in no hurry) and the Approved Petition will expire. I'm not sure he knows what he's doing and he's too stubborn to ask for directions!

Also, on the forms he got it says that I have to send him an Affidavit of support. I've got nothing stating that I need to send it. Why wouldn't they let me know?

Help?

You have some options. File a I-129F fiance visa which takes about 6-9 months. In that case you would have to get married in the US within 90 days of using the VISA. You can't get married in Canada.

Or file a I-130 spousal visa. It takes about a year and of course you can't start the process until you're married and you can't come here even on a work visa during that time to the best of my knowledge. If your wedding is planned for December of 2008 then you wouldn't be able to join him until about December of 2009.

It just depends on the separation issue and how determined you are to have the wedding in Canada. Will he be staying with you after the wedding during the time the visa is being processed?

If not, it might be wiser to have an unofficial ceremony in Canada and then have the official one here in the US after coming here using the I-129F.

If finances are a consideration. The I-129F is quicker but it will end up costing you more because you will have to file another application after arriving to adjust your status.

I preferred the Fiance visa even though it will cost us a bit more. I wanted to be with him as soon as possible and I thought it would be easier to be separated before being married than being separated after we were man and wife.

This is the book I'm using. It discuss both options. It's called Fiance & Marriage Visas-A Couples Guide to U.S. Immigration. 4th Edition by Bray and has a picture of a white lab on front/your legal companion!

I'm sure you get lots of replies. People are very helpful here. Good luck.

I know a girl who's last name is Blose. She can't wait to change it.

I was adopted and have already had one name change in my life. This situation is something that I am thinking about. Adopted children struggle with identity and I've been through this already. It was painful.

My fiance is very supportive and he is fine with whatever I chose. I may just add his last name to mine or use mine financially and for work related reasons and use his in social situations. Not sure yet. It is expensive to change all your documents. Plus I don't know if my students could pronounce his last name!

I've noticed that Hispanic women keep their last names most of the time.

I would consider it a blessing that you get the visitor's VISA so easily. I wish my British fiance could come over and visit any time he wanted.

To the USC/Canadian couples: do you find it utterly ridiculous that we are required to file for the AP document? As a Canadian citizen you automatically have a visitor's visa to the US....UNTIL you activate your K1, now you have to ask for permission to return (Advance Parole)??

That makes NO SENSE to us, and Doug, who is always indignant about injustice, wants to know HOW TO CHANGE THE REQUIREMENT....I know....but I have to love his enthusiasm, and honour his request to ask....does anyone understand WHY or WHO to lobby against? He wants to start a petition for change, bless his heart.....

Hello, Oban.

Good luck on opening a joint bank account. When my fiance visited last we went around to different banks to try and do this but they wouldn't put him on an account because he doesn't have a social security/tax ID number. So, I just keep records of him transferring money into my personal checking account. Although, you must be careful with this too because you may have to prove that it's not a loan from a friend to look good for an Affidavit of Support and that you really don't have this money. If this happens they may just require a signed letter that states the money is a gift and not a loan.

It's inconvenient because his bank charges him and fee for sending and mine charges a fee for receiving funds.

Although, there is none in the area in which I live you might have more luck with an international bank like HSBC.

Maybe you could open an account with a German bank?

Send us your tired, poor, hungry, huddled masses yearning to cheat the sytem.......

I got EI for 5 months while living in the US. My entire claim almost was spent with me living in the US. My oldest brother did the same thing as he was collecting EI while playing semi-pro hockey down here. There is no way for them to find out where you are and what you are doing. I'm not saying you should do this but I am telling you that from my experience, nothing of consequence happened and every time on the online questionnaire I said I was willing and able to work. They aren't going to track your mum down.

I would definitely get a leash and harness for stopping points if you plan on taking them out of the carrier. A lot of people lose pets on car trips. Most rest areas have pet areas, too. Sometimes like to walk around. If you want them to use the bathroom outside then give them a good 20 to 30 minutes to explore the area first.

Remember never to leave them in a car alone even for five minutes. Temperatures get high very quickly in the summer and your pet can die within a few minutes.

I think the next time they are attacking him he should give them "his" opinion, not yours. Are you sure he really wants to live in the US? Maybe he's getting nervous about it and isn't sure. He is an adult and knows his family a lot better than you do. Cultural barriers are not easy to cross and family situations are particularly tricky.

It's up to him to handle it.

From my point of view maybe he should just say "I love this woman, want to marry her, and I have decided to go live in the US. I love you, too and I hope that you will be able to accept my decision in time." As a man that's all he needs to say.

Arguing about it isn't going to make things any better. People are just going to end up saying things that people won't forget. They will just demonize you for "taking him away" if you argue with them.

I would be pissed, too, but think that these people are ALWAYS going to be in your life whether you like it or not. They will be grandparents to your children. You may have to swallow your American pride a little and and let him take care of it.

If you show them honor and respect and if they are decent people they will come around. It may take a few years. If they don't come around before then I'm sure they'll break if they see a grandchild. (Don't expect them to apologize, though. There is pride on both sides.) They're just afraid, I think. People hear all sorts of bad things about America and are worried that something could happen to him and they would not be able to protect him. Also, they will miss him terribly.

This is just my opinion but it does come from some experience in a similar situation.

Good luck.

I'm on my lunch break- so I'm going to try and make this short. But I really need advice. My fiance is currently living with his Grandparents while he's going to university because his Step-father is abusive, controlling, and in general- a horrible person. Well, when we got our NOA2 he called his mother to let her know and tell her how excited we were and they got really serious and decided that they would come to see him this weekend.

They arrived (with step-father in tow) last night and began to ATTACK him. Telling him he shouldn't come to the US, we need to cancel our visa right away, etc. Because THEY don't want him to come to the US. Even though we had had a discussion about the visa, etc. in the spring and everyone had come to an agreement on it and all was well.

What I'm figuring is that his family was hoping our visa would be denied easily (I don't know why) and that we would be forced to live in Japan. Which NEITHER of us want to do. The step-father even went as far to say that if Yuibi left he would DIVORCE his mother (likely an empty, spiteful threat) and SUE Yuibi (which is just.. stupid).

Obviously we are NOT going to stop the visa process. We will get married, we've been together and hoping for this for far too long to just throw away all of our dreams because his family is suddenly going ballistic. When they were attacking him- he told them my opinion and they (probably wish they hadn't said) "well where is she now? I want to hear her opinion from her". SO when I woke up this morning for work- heard what had happened. I told him that I'd LOVE to give them my opinion. And I basically had a huge Smackdown via Webcam with the step-father. During which the step-father was ridiculous, couldn't support any of his reasoning, and was just a spiteful idiot in general. Then of course, he demanded he speak with my parents tonight and get their opinion. To which I said, "That's great. I get my stubborness from them."

What I really want to know is, what is everyone's advice? I don't want us to be estranged from his family! But if they continue to attack him until the day he leaves how can we possibly keep a positive relationship with them??

PS. If anyone is wondering why parents are so involved- I'm 20 and he's 21. So we're younger than most VJers.

Ah! We drug kids all the time. You should see the mass doping in elementary schools.

Although some kids have serious medical problems and need medication some parents find it much easier to put their children on medication than deal with behavior issues or be responsible for supplying their children with physical and mental exercise. Just drug them and sit them in front of the TV.........

Kids don't even believe they can behave or work without their medication. "I can't do that. I haven't had my medicine yet."

And we are suprised when they start doing "drugs" later on.

call me cheezy but my man uses tons and tons of smileys and I started doing it back.

My family calmed down a bit now that I've been there and back alone, it was the weeks before I left that we were making worst-case-scenario preparations (as in the "Mom, I don't want to be cremated and dammit if you cremate me I'll haunt you forever!" talks). hahaha

The biggest change in me has yet to be discovered by them--it's easier to admit you're gay in my family rather than admitting you're Christian!

Hang in there, Sparrow! Good luck with everything.

I'll write more on this later as I'm at work

How incredibly beautiful she is!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awww she is adoraboe! How old is?

Jackie

Shes an arab irish berber danish mix.....

I feel that the women who are truly gutsy are the ones who embrace the culture by going and living in the MENA country with their man. Not too many people are willing to do that. Now that takes guts!!!! And true love.

I've been in approximately 35 different countries including MENA ones. I don't consider it that gutsy when as an American you know if there is trouble all you've got to do is get to the nearest embassy or consulate.

Have you noticed that this board is a little more animated and full of action than the other forums? Why is that? I think it takes a little bit of guts to go to MENA countries for the average american and to embrace a new and exciting culture. I think the women that marry mena men and meet them in their countries are a little more gutsy than some of their friends. To go on a plane half a world away, especially one engulfed in controversy ( world politics and opinion) perhaps takes a little bit of a spitfire. How have your friends and families reacted to all the phoning, planes, traveling and changes in you as a mena marrying woman? I often wonder about this.

He can always get to his litter box right? and his food and water? Also, even if a male is neutered he will get randy especially if there is a female cat near. Is there one in the building? Their sense of smell is very keen. There may also be a dog in the building. Does Franky try to spray and mark his territory? He may feel threatened.

Also, cats love new and different things. They get bored. Even if it's just a new cardboard box he will be intrigued and investigate. You know you may try leaving one in the next room at night right before you go to bed. It may keep him busy for a while.

Good cheap toy: Cats love those things that come off of milk jugs when you take off the lid the first time. That little plastic blue piece???

He probably just misses you. He's adorable.

Okay, so... I've done a ton of Googling to find advice on this, and am trying everything I can from what I've read... but as there are so many cat-loving VJers out there, I thought it couldn't hurt to ask here too, and see if anyone might have some tips or suggestions from personal experience.

We adopted two cats on Monday (yay!), and they are utterly fantastic, adorable, loving little purry things. Both boys (neutered, obviously... and they're not brothers but they think they are, 'cos they were hand-reared together by a volunteer from the shelter from two days old), and they're 10/11 months old now. One seems to have settled in perfectly, pretty much from the minute we got them home... while the other is taking a bit longer. Which is fine, and totally understandable... the only problem is that he has a tendency to meow in a blood-curdling fashion when the mood takes him, and the mood quite often takes him at 2am/4am/etc - and I'm really scared that it will disturb the neighbours (we live in an aparment, and this meowing is LOUD!) and they'll complain, or that my husband will get so sick of the yelling cat and lack of sleep that he'll say we can't keep him anymore.

Everything I've read so far basically says to ignore meowing that's being done for attention (and I'm certain that's what this is - well, that and the fact that the place is still unfamiliar to him, of course - because he does it when he happens to find himself alone somewhere in the flat, and will stop immediately and go back to being perfectly happy if one of us goes to 'find' him, or on the occasions when it occurs to him to come and 'find' us himself - he'll run meowing into the room and then be just fine when he gets to us), and to use earplugs if necessary at night. So, I've been ignoring it when he does it during the day, and it does seem to be working to an extent... each day it will happen less and less as the day goes on, and the length of time that he's meowing before he either comes to find me, or just gives up yelling, is getting less and less each time too. So that's good...

When he starts with the blood-curdling caterwauling at night, though, I'm SO worried the neighbours can hear... and as for the 'ignore the meowing to teach the cat that it won't get him attention' lesson... well, he will shut up after a bit if ignored (again, he either gets sick of waiting for us to come to him and runs in to us, having surely known full well where we were all along, or he just gets bored and stops meowing after a while), but more often than not my husband will call out to him, tell him to shut up, or get up and find him to shush him. So I'm not sure how that's helping to reinforce the 'lesson'...!

His other 'favourite' time for a big meow-fest seems to be first thing in the morning, while my husband's getting ready for work, and until maybe half an hour after he's gone, at which point he'll finally stop it for a bit (I don't mean he meows CONSTANTLY for that time, but he will stop only to start again a couple of minutes later, no matter how much ignoring he gets!)... and please don't think I want him to be quiet all the time and never make a sound (his 'brother' is pretty talkative when he wants to be, and will give a little meowy running commentary as he explores the apartment), it's just that we'd like to find a way to stop him doing the howling & caterwauling thing - he honestly sounds like we're doing something dreadful to him, when all he's really meowing about is the fact that one of us has dared to walk out of the living room and go into the bathroom or something!

Other than the problem with his overactive vocal cords, he's an absolutely perfect, amazingly lovely little cat.... I am SO glad we chose these two, and am generally in love with them. But... after all that super-long rambling... does anyone have ANY suggestions as to what else we might be able to try apart from ignoring him when he starts up with the wailing (and of course giving him plenty of attention whenever he's being quiet - I'm not suggesting I ignore him all day and night, far from it - I'm feeling bad 'cos he's getting more attention than his 'brother', just because he's being the 'problem child' right now!).... sorry for the long post, but I'd love to hear anything anyone can suggest - or just any reassurance that he WILL give it a rest eventually!

Right... I'm off to play with my lovely furry (quiet!) cats for a bit!

No, I don't consider myself an April filer. I've been told that you use the date on the NOA1 to determine your month of filing and I have also come to the conclusion that that is correct. This is what I've been going by and I think most people go by. When I check on the USCIS website it gives the EAC # and says "We received your information on May 7........I think I'm an early May filer.

Wow! 34 days. It looks like the average on VJ is 10 days. My timeline is updated and accurate. So, it took me 14 days.

34 days!?! I would have been going nuts wondering if they'd received it. How long did it take them to cash your check?? Are you going by the date that you actually received your NOA1 in th email or the date at the top of the document? You go by the date at the top of the document.

Thanks for all your support. You've all been great.

Based on your timeline, aren't you an April filer? You submitted your petition on April 23 and received your NOA1 on May 7.

I always wonder the same... are we April filers or May filers? We sent our package in April and got our NOA1 34 days later in May! I got to the conclussion that we are May filers, as the process officially starts with your NOA1, when the USCIS starts processing your case.

OP, was your adjudication date that appeared on your timeline link accurately? If not, did you got your NOA2 before or after the VJ's estimated date?

Have just checked the USCIS website and found out that our I-129F petition has been approved. NOA2!!! You may be next. Good luck to you all.

Sometimes I wonder if it just seems louder because you're not used to hearing it.

You notice it more.

Although, I definitely have heard really loud people. Could some of them have a hearing problem??!?!?!

Also, I've been overseas and noticed other Americans (a lot of foreigners just assume someone is American if they're speaking English) I've noticed the Americans seemed loud. Sometimes they were and sometimes they weren't. Sometimes it was just due to the fact that the people around them had stopped talking and were listening to the conversation so it just seemed louder.

From my personal point of view people from Northern states are a lot louder than southerners. :-)

My husband def. talks louder in his native language than in English.

Not bothered by any language; in fact some are very plesant to hear, but sometime the volume is rather irritating and distracting to the point that I just stare at them until they walk away or lower their voices. Is it possible that the louder the voice the higher the insecurity is since I find that new immigrants of certain areas tend to over do it more than others.

that would bother me even if they were speaking English

I wish you well. I am concerned about the abuse you say you are experiencing. I know that adjusting to another country is hard but couples are usually still in the honeymoon period this early on. If he's treating you badly now then this may be an indication of how he handles stress, etc. and will probably only get worse. Life is full of stress and you will need a partner that supports you and your children.

I had a good friend who loved a man deeply for years. It was long distance. Once she got to know him she was shocked to find that she had been taking what she knew about him and filling in the blanks. He was not the person she thought he was at all. The person she had loved didn't really exist.

I hope things work out for you and your children. You're right. Your home should be a santuary.

Best Wishes

I have to say thanks to all of you MENA/ VJ'er.. I got a huge amount of PM's showing me support.. Thank you SOO MUCH for the support.. and the offer of a "shoulder"

I actually was surprised at the amount of people who say they are dealing with the same thing

I never really thought this would be life life once he got here

Nothing has gotten better.. maybe i guess worse. I'm on the verge of loosing my job.. I couldnt even go in today.. and I am calling out tomorrow too..

I finally cornered him to speak to a religious leader (imam).. and my out look towards our future in Not a good one... but God knows.. I DO love him... but I will NOT tolerate living how I have had to live these past 3 weeks

I got a few comments that I should be grateful that atleast my man is here... And believe me.. I was Very thankful things went as quickly as they did... BUT abusive behavior.. mental, emotional and physical will NOT be tolerated.. even if this is supposed to be an "adjusting period" of our life together/ getting used to living in america... ESPECIALLY infront of my VERY impressionable 5 and 6 year old boys....... my home is NOT supposed to be a war ground.. but my santuary.

for all of those who confided in me about what they are dealing with now... or what they feel might happen in the future..

Please think with your head and not your heart.. IF he is NOT even hear yet and MY story makes me nervous that this is your future... think LONG and hard BEFORE he comes into the country.. ESPECIALLY if you have kids...

anyways...

thanks everybody

I am interested to know your opinion. When I was a kid there was no one in my school that had asthma, alllergies, or really any kind of health issues. We never took any kinds of medication and we were all healthy.

Now, American kids have all kinds of things.

I teach immigrant kids. Mexican-Americans mostly but also Haitian, African, Asian, Russian ...... Of all 40 of my kids none of them have any allergies, asthma, or take any medication for anything. I've been teaching for 13 years and have never had a student with any of these problems. Pretty incredible, huh?

My British fiance says we are too sanitized. Maybe the kids are not having a chance to build up resistance to anything?

I have noticed that my immigrant students play outside more and get dirtier. I'm not saying that they are dirty or anything just that they don't sit in front of the TV and their mothers don't follow them around with a wet wipe.

My mom cleaned everything with soap, water, and bleach. Now the kids use all this hand sanitizer stuff instead of soap and water and they seem to have more health problems.

Has anyone else noticed this? Opinions, comments....

I've read that this generation of children are predicted to be the first generation of Americans to have a shorter lifespan than their parents.

Many of my elementary school students say they never ever drink water. Only cola.

Is anyone else going through the embassy in Oman? They have told him that they do I-129F's there but we can't find any information about it. Does anyone know how efficent they are? Or have any tips? He's a UK citizen and working there.

Good for you!

I would like to dance on this woman's grave!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And this is why....

I have been in a similar situation. I call it emotional incest. His mother used to walk into his bedroom and go through his things to make sure he wasn't actually being with a woman. (This wasn't even her house, mind you.) Even his closet and his dresser. laundry..... She informed me that she didn't want grandchildren. Like it was up to her.

She is a real wacko. She doesn't have her driver's license. She doesn't cook. She obviously buys her clothes from the boys department in Wal-mart and cuts her own hair. (This would be okay if she knew how to do it.) She thinks women who wear makeup are whores. He's her only child and her husband is older. She kept her son in her house until about 36 years of age and he finally broke away. She's planning on moving in with him and having him as her "second husband". She comes in and "cleans" his house without permission and snoops. More like a sweep the FBI would do. He's 40 by the way.

I took it personally at first but then I realized it was her. I've never had a problem with any other mothers. I kept saying "I don't think she likes me." and he would say "Of course she does." and then finally admitted that she hated any woman he dated. "Just ignore her." It was like I was dealing with a jealous ex-wife or girlfriend.

BAM!!! My awakening: He asked me to make Thanksgiving dinner. Then, oh, somehow his mother was under the assumption that she was going to make it. Shock! She never cooks but okay. This is a woman who is taken out to eat three times a day. Then, she shows up with takeout food from a restaurant for Thanksgiving Dinner.

Later, she saw my duffle bag and assumed I was staying the night and went ballistic. She started shaking with rage and calling me the devil and telling me how much she hated me. It was the weirdest thing I've ever experienced. I couldn't even say anything. I was in shock. She kept running into the kitchen. I thought she was going to get a knife and stab me. During all this I was saying nothing, mind you and I turned around and he was nowhere in sight. I kept thinking someone was calling for a strait jacket. They weren't. He stepped outside! The father was so embarrassed he yelled at her and practically dragged her out of the house kicking and screaming. I kept thinking her head was going to spin around like in "The Exoricist". However, it seems that this is common in that family.

Afterwards, he was angry at me. I couldn't believe it. Still in shock from his mother's psychotic episode. Still in shock that a grown man would put up with his mother going through his house and snooping like that and still in shock that he would walk out and let this continue.

Finally, he comes into the house and it was the most bizarre thing. He defended his mother's behavior. "She did it because she loves him." Having a loving mother myself I find it hard to believe that a mother would not want her husband to get married or have children or date. How can you be that utterly selfish?

However, it explained a heck of a lot. He is impotent! Yes, impotent. I convinced him to go get a physical and they said there was nothing wrong with him physically.

It's been quite a while now. The rage does subside. He keeps calling me and telling me that he will never find anybody like me ever again and how sorry he is. He's alone now. Will continue to be alone probably for the rest of his life (unless of course, you count his mother)

Meanwhile, I am ecstatically happy and loving my life. Truly, the best revenge.

(Still would like to dance on her grave)

WOW! What a story!

Isn't it, though? I couldn't believe it happened to me. Ever have something so bizarre happen to you that you couldn't believe it was actually happening?

My sympathy and best wishes to Home_sick American. It will get better. My fiance and I are sooo happy. You can find it, too. There are some really great guys out there!

My soon to be ex-husband is a disgusting pig of a man. He's a cowardly pu$$y and the best I can say about him right now is at least I didn't have kids with him. THANK GOD FOR THAT.

He wasted six years of my life and I will never ever ever ever ever forgive him for that. EVER.

His coarse, crass, uneducated stupid fcuking mother of his can kiss my rosy red a$$ from now until the end of time. I hate her and I hope she dies a long, painful death. She came between us. She is a fcuktard.

Good for you!

I would like to dance on this woman's grave!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And this is why....

I have been in a similar situation. I call it emotional incest. His mother used to walk into his bedroom and go through his things to make sure he wasn't actually being with a woman. (This wasn't even her house, mind you.) Even his closet and his dresser. laundry..... She informed me that she didn't want grandchildren. Like it was up to her.

She is a real wacko. She doesn't have her driver's license. She doesn't cook. She obviously buys her clothes from the boys department in Wal-mart and cuts her own hair. (This would be okay if she knew how to do it.) She thinks women who wear makeup are whores. He's her only child and her husband is older. She kept her son in her house until about 36 years of age and he finally broke away. She's planning on moving in with him and having him as her "second husband". She comes in and "cleans" his house without permission and snoops. More like a sweep the FBI would do. He's 40 by the way.

I took it personally at first but then I realized it was her. I've never had a problem with any other mothers. I kept saying "I don't think she likes me." and he would say "Of course she does." and then finally admitted that she hated any woman he dated. "Just ignore her." It was like I was dealing with a jealous ex-wife or girlfriend.

BAM!!! My awakening: He asked me to make Thanksgiving dinner. Then, oh, somehow his mother was under the assumption that she was going to make it. Shock! She never cooks but okay. This is a woman who is taken out to eat three times a day. Then, she shows up with takeout food from a restaurant for Thanksgiving Dinner.

Later, she saw my duffle bag and assumed I was staying the night and went ballistic. She started shaking with rage and calling me the devil and telling me how much she hated me. It was the weirdest thing I've ever experienced. I couldn't even say anything. I was in shock. She kept running into the kitchen. I thought she was going to get a knife and stab me. During all this I was saying nothing, mind you and I turned around and he was nowhere in sight. I kept thinking someone was calling for a strait jacket. They weren't. He stepped outside! The father was so embarrassed he yelled at her and practically dragged her out of the house kicking and screaming. I kept thinking her head was going to spin around like in "The Exoricist". However, it seems that this is common in that family.

Afterwards, he was angry at me. I couldn't believe it. Still in shock from his mother's psychotic episode. Still in shock that a grown man would put up with his mother going through his house and snooping like that and still in shock that he would walk out and let this continue.

Finally, he comes into the house and it was the most bizarre thing. He defended his mother's behavior. "She did it because she loves him." Having a loving mother myself I find it hard to believe that a mother would not want her husband to get married or have children or date. How can you be that utterly selfish?

However, it explained a heck of a lot. He is impotent! Yes, impotent. I convinced him to go get a physical and they said there was nothing wrong with him physically.

It's been quite a while now. The rage does subside. He keeps calling me and telling me that he will never find anybody like me ever again and how sorry he is. He's alone now. Will continue to be alone probably for the rest of his life (unless of course, you count his mother)

Meanwhile, I am ecstatically happy and loving my life. Truly, the best revenge.

(Still would like to dance on her grave)