lasso

I wish all of you would be nice with jackie no matter what she said I doubt it if any of you would have anything nice to say if your husband just walked out on you.

At this time if you dont have anything nice to say to her then dont say it at all.

I think any women during a break up or child birth should be alloud to say what ever the heck she wants.

and those of you who are being unsensetive remember one thing what goes around comes around and today you might think not me but tomorrow you might have a difference of opinion.

She has clearly stated she never saw it coming and she came here so many times for support that alone proves how much she loves her husband.

I FEEL BAD FOR HER AND ANYONE WITH ANY COMPASSION WOULD FEEL THE SAME.

I am leaving this forum sorry I caused such a stir I am so glad I am not going through this stress anymore.

I want to go back to may happy life

Good luck to you

sorry if any of you are fighting over this I keep saying over and over it was a topic of discussion that was put on a different thread and moved here I did not title it and then the heat was on and everyone started to comment.

I keep saying over and over good and bad qualities it is a personal opinion and experience of mine if you do not agree with it do not fight with your friends here everyone is entitled to thier own opinion I wish none of you fight and be friends you need each other during this sensitive time I wish I would have never posted it but it was meant on another thread and was moved without my permission to its own thread.

I did not want this threat to eve happen then the comments started to come in so yes I responded these are my experiences I am not bashing arabs my son is an arab and I have friens who are arab I dont feel I was bashing thier culture I mean in my opinion that is there culture I did not say it was bad or good I just talked about the culture.

I hope you all are in blissfull love and your husbands come home and you have no more doubt in your head.

May god keep you save and enjoy your very prosperouse life with your loving husband and family

why cant we all just debate like adults why everytime there is a forum or blog people have to start acting childish and bashing each other. this is foolish use the tools god gave you and debate and educate yourself why do you have to be little someone to feel power.

We all should not agree on anything otherwise this world would be a very boring place.

If you felt this post was offensive they why read it or comment on it.

When I find people in life or comments offensive I walk away.

This post has heated up so many people and it was not intended too it was to help and support.

All of you who continue to try to belittle anyone on this site really need to take a good look at why your so fustrated.

God bless

Like I said before I started this post to help someone else my first husband as a matter of fact had his papers I met him 3 months after he divorced his first american wife as soon as he was nutralized he left and told me he never loved her and used her. At the time I was young and felt proud that he choose me.

This thread was not meant to hurt anyone show off or make statements that I was proud of and as far as the financial backing yes that is right if you read that post anyone here want to financially back me I have great idea's more power to you.

For all of you who have done nothing but bash me I want you to save this thread and come back in a few years.

And everyone else with an open mind I am almost 100% you made the right choice in what your doing because you seem to be very smart in desicions you make.

GOD TELL US SEEK KNOWLEDGE!

god bless everyone

another fyi

In the middle eastern culture the girl leaves her home with nothing and the new husband buys her everything for the wedding new home clothes ect...

A man that fallows his culture would never let a women pay for anything, as a matter of fact most arabs are very generouse when it comes to paying the bill for friends or family when eating out for dinner.

As I stated before they are great providers and hard workers.

This is the main reason I ended up marrying twice I love it that they take care of thier family.

ooops I actually posted the above post before I read what you all have posted after me.

I want to say something.

Number one no I have never post on another forum I told you all that I have a friend that comes here and read jackies story and it was the same like mine.

Because I have a big heart and want to save the world I felt the need to comfort her so she did not waste the time I did, anyway the people who run this site moved my post to its own topic, when this happen it opened up a big can of worms.

If you have no doubts you would have took this as informative or flat out feel bad for this women thank god it was not me!

None of this was meant to put doubt in anyones head I was trying to help a women that I never met before to save her from the pain I felt.

I did not want to say anything bad about your husbands ect....

There is plenty of good Arab men out there. And for those of you who found fault if you would have read deeper you would see I made very good comments about Arab men also.

I have a great friend who is older and married a jordinian man and she is a nurse he had nothing when they met and they both together built a nice life and now have a 9 year old son.

They own a huge business and live in a 4000 sq foot home and they travel back and forth ect...

But one thing she did differently then me is she never lost herself. She always stood firm on her religion culture ect...

I remember when she first married we all talked about her how she could not cook or clean or how she did not want to send money back home.

But she is the one still married.

KEEP in mind this post was not intended for anyone but jackie and then it got moved and started a debate.

If your happy then so be it there is not enough love to go around anyway.

GOD BLESS YOU

OOOOH and by the way I might have poor grammer but I make a 6 figure income!

GOD I LOVE THIS COUNTRY

You must no matter what you get from this post clearly understand over and over again in your head

IT IS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY!

Americans we have it around us even if your poor you live good in a 3rd world country like the middle east they are trying to survive all the time and even if they live good now they still have that mentality to survive from many years of suffering.

They would rather send thier son to american and never see him again as long as he is sending money that is all they care about.

The women will marry an ugly old man she is 15 years old because he has money.

It is all about the money!

Men will fall in love with a girl and cannot marry because he does not have the money and his older uncle will marry that same girl because he has money.

That is why when you see they come here they work like dogs they dont care about enjoying life vacations relaxing all they want to do is work all day long to save money to send back home.

Both men I was with I would beg to take a day off work.

They work like dogs and if you want to spend some you better believe it will be on something he can show off.

There dream is to go back home and build a villa and show off.

I lived in the middle east I am telling you 100% all them men do all the time is sit around and talk about going to america it is a dream.

Because if you live there you will see it is nothing no future no life dry land nowhere to go nothing to do.

They cannot even take a vacation there is no vacation place to go.

My friends husband he used to tell her how beautiful back home was and how fun and discos and what not and I warned her and sure enough she spent 6 months and was so depressed calling me all the time she went crazy.

If you go for less then 3 months it is not bad but I am telling you go there for more then 6 months and you will realize why all these men want to get the hell out of there.

It is a missarable place. GOD BLESS AMERICA

Your stories are so heart felt and thank you for thanking me, I love this post we can open up and talk,

First I want to say I am a muslim and God tells us to seek knowledge and the only thing between christians and muslims is a thin line, Being a muslim we must love and respect others views and religion.

Your husband was wrong for saying that about your cross on your bed. You have sacrificed and he should understand that.

By the way I do have a very cute puppy but I am surprised he never told you in islam we should keep the dogs outside because the angels will not enter the home.

But again this goes back to the men from the middle east who practice islam the way they want too.

I also want to stress Islam is a kind beautiful religion please don't think anything that your spouse might do or say negative has anything to do with islam it is more culture.

I love the islam I found here in America.

And about the husband not getting approved you see that was gods way of protecting you, that tells me your have a pure heart. GOD BLESS YOU.

If you want to speak of money back home this is something you should get used too because I have yet to meet an Arab that did not send money back home.

I saved and saved and my kids went without so my ex could send money back home.

Get this we are divorced now and he does not want to pay child support because he sends money back home.

We did not have a wedding but all his brothers did on us.

You will never have the american dream with them because they are always sending money back home.

Unless he gets lucky and becomes extremely wealthy.

Arabs don't view money like Americans here we say "this is our business or this is my money or if you want to get something from me you must pay back"

Arab culture is "we have a store we have money this is our business and you dont have to pay me back"

They work as a whole group not individual that is why I am telling you it is hard to get ahead unless you have more them one brother here in the states if your husband is the only one in the family then you can expect to be broke and sending money back home.

My last one my exact words to him was "I loved you when you had nothing"

This is our American heart always giving and trying to save the world and going without.

I live a very good life now on my own because I dont send money back home!

My ex he is 8 years older then me and lives low income even though he owns a business 4 times the size of mine because he sends money back home.

He will not buy his kids shoes or give money all of that is my responsibility even though he makes more then me.

He even told me once "people starving back home and your living good"

This was after our divorce just last year!

I told him "I am amerian my kids are american they deserve to have nice things why should I have to support them so you can send money back home and we are not married anymore why should I suffer for your family"

Basically he thought I was a monster and heartless. And guess what he makes way more money then me but I am supporting our kids he will not even buy a hair cut. LIKE IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY TO SUPPORT my divorced husbands family!

They all pretend like they like you but what they want is MONEY MONEY MONEY!

I would also think it is safe to say if you married a divorcee or an older gentalman then he does not have that dream of going back home and marrying a virgin bride like is promised in paradise.

I will say this I am a muslim and love my religion but that is the one thing that I just don't understand why god would promise that in heavan.

In my personal experience I would rather marry someone that I can talk to the rest of my life then have a virgin bride and find out later we have nothing in common.

I just was outside and met my nieghbor ( I know bad I been living here over a year) anyway this area is upper class nice area big houses ect..

And we get to talking and this guy is good looking charming very nice man I always see him taking care of his home.

Anyway we where talking about kids and he tells me "I have 3 " wow I said he said ya two are grown and one is 2 years old?

I said "wow and your starting over "? He said well my wife had two when we met.

I thought how wonderfull is that he married a women with 2 kids and he loves her to death and then when I walked away I thought "ya and in the middle east you would have been an outcast or have to marry an old man"

HHHHHMMMMMM

GOD BLESS AMERICA

DILLYDALLY

Well said, when I would ask mine he would always say "honey the life in jordan is hard no money we would have hard life here"

But you know what everyone???????? He married his own kind and stayed in jordan!

So the life would have been hard for me to live with him and by the way I would have brought money and worked but it was not to tuff for him to take a wife over there?

When someone truely loves you from the pit of thier heart (and of course that is what we all want)

They are not thinking clearly about how you are going to servive they are happy just to be with you!

If they truely love you they will welcome you with open arms in jordan america ect.....

Ask those questions and here the responses you will get and if you have doubt then when the break-up happens you can look back like I did and know you where the stupid one!

I have a big heart I think we all have a big heart I mean who in gods name would wait here in america for a foriegn man to come and take that risk not to mention he is coming with nothing.

It is because we are very vulnerable. You either do it for culturial reason or you met here in the states or if your going over to a strange country it could be because your lonely like I was.

Honestly at that time I was lonely I just got divorced felt ugly fat ect...

And here was this young guy who claimed to love me. I was blinded.

God will protect you in any choice you make as long as you ask him for guidence and like I said before mine never did get his papers!

HA HA HA HA

I guess I had the last laugh!

I want to make something very clear to everyone I WAS THE STUPID ONE.

I let myself be controlled and I wanted to please and make him happy that comes from being raised in an old fashion spanish family.

I alloud it all to happen

I smoked but did not inhale! lol lol lol

American women we are so loving and caring with a pure heart

you know what really ticks me off I know many many of these men I own a business and deal with them everyday and years ago when I was married I looked at this men like honorable god fearing men, because at that time I was in the house all I knew was cooking and cleaning and how much my husband loved me my mind was pure.

Now that I am in the business world and deal with these muslim/middle east men on a day to day basis, many of them have mistressess or drink or go to gamble and thier women have no clue. they just tell them they are out with the guys haveing coffee late night at a dinner.

My ex husband best friend is a millionair he and my ex been friends for 20 years he is married to a women from his country and he asked me to marry him in secret and he would take care of me.

I was shocked I went and told my ex husband and my ex said marry him he has money.

I could not beleive the father of my kids and the man I was married to for so many years would say that.

but now I know why they view women as objects and when they are done they are done. and move on to the next. they have no value for women it is taught if they are nice it is because you are doing or giving something try getting your way or dont benifit them and see what happens

all of it happens here but we are not muslims here this is a muslim country that expects there women to be pure and they behaive like that.

we dont expect our women to be pure

the most modern part of jordan is a smudge of the USA.

If Jordan was so modern then why do all the arabs leave there beautiful country that is so open minded and modern and come to the USA!

That tickes me off when arabs say how open minded and modern it is because it is not!

There is disco's but bad girls whores go to disco's just like there was ####### houses here in america a 100 years ago but our grandmothers would never go in one!

I would bet that you would never step foot in a disco with or without your husband.

stop trying to misslead these women.

Hey all of you go to UTUBE AND TYPE IN ARAB GIRLS AND DANCE CLUBS

YOU will see live video of thier disco's and you will see it is men acting like pigs and women parading around like sexual objects.

Then you can judge for yourself.

It is not modern country it is 3rd world maybe modern if your arab but not american standards.

DUBIE is modern not jordan/palestine.

the most modern part of jordan is a smudge of the USA.

If Jordan was so modern then why do all the arabs leave there beautiful country that is so open minded and modern and come to the USA!

That tickes me off when arabs say how open minded and modern it is because it is not!

There is disco's but bad girls whores go to disco's just like there was ####### houses here in america a 100 years ago but our grandmothers would never go in one!

I would bet that you would never step foot in a disco with or without your husband.

stop trying to misslead these women.

Hey all of you go to UTUBE AND TYPE IN ARAB GIRLS AND DANCE CLUBS

YOU will see live video of thier disco's and you will see it is men acting like pigs and women parading around like sexual objects.

Then you can judge for yourself.

It is not modern country it is 3rd world maybe modern if your arab but not american standards.

DUBIE is modern not jordan/palestine.

my point exactly "you will never be in the inner circle"

so remember this statement they think differently.

thank you for your post SWI OR IS IT SWA,

Anyway all of you must keep in mind I am arab! ha ha lol lol lol

no I am really american but I was raised by an arab lived with arab 20 years still even though I am single everyone around me is arab my accountant my lawyer my gardner and all of my friends.

My kids are arab they go to mosque for fun they go to islamic school ect...

Even other arabs will tell you palestinian/jordan men are like this.

This is from the occupation in the middle east the life there is unbarrable even for those with good jobs a good job means your making a few hundred dollars a month.

They are poor!

If you like your arab men they are tons here that are single that have a green card they just dont have money to go back home or they already have wife and kids and are divorced.

Go to your local soccer park or online or to deer born michigan that dang town is like little palestine.

I know a few arabs who are looking for a wife.

don't go to the internet or marry someone to bring him here.

And ivestigating the family just is not going to work I told you in the first post his family was wonderfull I actually married him I felt so sorry for him his dad died when he was little so I figured being raised by a single mother would make him sensitive to women. I was wrong.

They are not bad men they are good but be carefull. Ask god to guide you that is what I did and by the way mine never did get his papers.

I asked god to protect me if this man was using me and he did my husband never got approved!

Ask god to protect you.

The hymic thing was just discoverd by me when my friend went over sea's she is young and knows what is going on in the street anyway it is something that is not talked about but god says seek knowledge so seek it go online and read up on it your going to be surprised like I was how often it happens.

And your SIL did she take her kids or the father got them?

WOW

RAHMA,

Your a smart women your right let me explain something that both men had that I married and to watch out for.

They both did not have any american friends at all they both always complained about americans jewish people ect...

They both always longed for back home and wanted to go back home one day.

They both where very jealouse men. they both did not like when I laughed out loud ect...

And they both wanted to protect thier family over me.

I came second thier family was first then me.

I am currently talking with a palestinian man that puts women before his mother and would never go back home.

LOOK FOR THE SIGNS

sorry this was a pm for someone else I am new at this and I posted it on accident sorry.

oh no i don't want to marry again.

i am quite happy with my family and l love my kids

i do like sometime to hang around which is really bad but

i donot look for another marriage.

I have a plan to go for vacation to see family next week and then they will visit here for some vacation in Milan.

You asked me do i like living in Milan yes of course i am enjoying as i am kearning Italian and in a new culture to understand

the beautiful country of Italy.

wish you a happy weekend and keep in touch

aman

The above email was sent to me from a middle eastern man I met online he is now living in Italy. We had be talking back and forth for sometime I met him on a dating website. So he asked me if I had a boyfriend and when he asked me that I thought it was strange because if I had a boyfriend I would not be on a dating website.

Anyway then I thought I might as well as him if he was married or looking for marriage and the above email was his response.

He has a family back home but here on a dating website he is in Italy but I have a strong feeling he wants to come to the USA.

LOL LOL LOL

Family is wonderfull but ARAB or American or any culture live farther and enjoy the visits. It is a rare thing to have one big happy family.

I also wanted to open another can of worms?

This is not intended as a racial thing but would you not think that most cultures do better if they marry thier own kind?

We are talking same music food family religion ect...

Everyone hates to say those words because we live here in a big melting pot but if you do marry your own kind it is less likely that you will divorce.

Look at the world as a whole in other countries the divorce rate is low. Maybe Arabs no something we don't

This whole topic was sensitive and by no means am I saying these men don't love thier wife. I beleive in my heart mine loved me but he thought with his head not his heart. And he married someone who would bare his children not stop who would never leave him and would love him no matter what.

It is almost a 100% garuanty that if you marry your own kind it will work. They take a very big risk marrying one of us, and alot of flak from family.

I mean you go to america to make money and your family is expecting once you make it to the top you come back build a huge home and marry an arab girl.

Back in the middle east a wedding is thier whole life and foundation. that is what they live for!

We as americans look forward to bigger better house,car and vacation.

All they have is a wedding no matter what the income one day they will celabrate a wedding.

For the mother her sons wedding is more important then her wedding day.

These women are kept in the house for the most part but on a wedding day they can dance have fun go shopping for thier dress. I mean this is a big event the biggest in a man or womens life.

Like I said before it took me a very long time to realize other cultures do not think like us we are different.

We will marry a women who has been touched or even has kids and be proud to call her our wife.

We marry who we want who the hell cares what our family says and if our mother dont like our wife to bad our kids and wife come first.

In middle east they will not marry a women who has been touched or has kids and the mother has a big influence on who the son marries and you better beleive his mother comes first, It is islam.

I am not bashing any of it some of it I personally think is good but not when it happen to me.

I love it that my own son babies me.

Please understand when you marry someone from another culture that is why it is called culture.

I lived for many years hearing "back home back home my family I miss them back home we eat sleep ect like this"

I also have many friends who are middles eastern and I respect them and thier beliefs they are good family men.

I would like to know how many of us are over weight or older then are spouse

oooh boy I want to say thank you to all of you but really even though the post sounded bitter I actually wrote it for antoher member.

Right now in my life I am very happy and by the way dating several men and one of them is Palestinian but he is american. Of course none of them no of each other and none of it means more to me then just a date for dinner or conversation.

Honestly after what happen to me I don't trust any man.

But if any of you have any doubt the best thing to do is the next time you speak with your sweetheart tell him "Honey I bought a ticket to come live with you in the middle east I miss you so much and want to be with you and I found a job at an american hotel"

And see his re-action.

I want all of you to be happy but "Dont wear your heart on your sleeve" You are not dealing with the same mentality as if you where dating a man who already had his papers.

Honestly I lived over there and in thier defence I would lye cheat steal to get out of that hell place if I had to also.

Yes the middle east is beautiful when you visit for less then 3 months. When your there for a long period it is a hard life one that they are all trying to escape.

We should be so lucky just to have been born in this country and maybe I was used because I gave to much and was an easy target.

Maybe if you just be yourself and be strong and don't be controlled you will end up better then me.

All of this has been years of brain washing by both men and now it will take time to really understand who I am and what I want. In the mean time I am dating and yes I date all races I still do love my foriegn men just ones that have thier papers.