perunyc

civil ceremony is a legal marriage. my husband, and now legal resident, and i got married in a judge's chambers. no religious ceremony. as long as you have the appropriate legal marriage certificate signed by the judge or officiant, you are set. AOS requests an official copy of your marriage certificate. you do not have to include marriage photos as part of your application. you should bring these to your AOS interview though.

what a horrible situation to be in. glad to hear that you are able to think a little better and have a little of an appetite now.

obviously someone has funded her travels from the point that she left your home. and likely she is safe or at least okay if the arizona family are truly her friends- i doubt they, and her family in brazil, would be covering her trail if they didn't know she was safe.

i agree that the majority of all the thoughts regarding why she has done this is speculation- and i understand that is all you have at this time.

i would report her as missing. i agree with establishing a paper trail. i hope she is not savvy into the immigration system or legal system, but perhaps absolute worst-case scenario would be her claiming you abused her. this has happened, unfortunately, to other people who have posted on VJ. protect yourself. you are going through enough stress and trouble now- you don't want to be kicking yourself in the future for not doing everything possible to 1) look for her (IF god-forbid anything bad does happen) and 2) protect yourself.

i understand the fear of judgement and "i told you so's" from friends/family. i married a south american. luckily people got to meet him before he arrived here for good, but that didn't stop friends/family from sharing concerns (primarily early on) about the south american guy suckering little white me into getting him his greencard. i can understand a little where you are coming from with respects to not telling your friends. yet. but if they are real friends, they will help you through this. if you are still dealing with this next week, maybe it'll help to confide. if they are real friends, they will know that something more serious is up than her just visiting her sick mom. in the meantime- perhaps PMing with people who know you here, as previously recommended, will give you much needed support and encouragement during the process and less negative and judgemental responses from the general forum. it seems you have some good friends here- use them.

good luck. stay strong.

hey guys,I got a problems and it bothers me most of the time,I and my husband had a mis understandings these past few days,Look! my situation is not that easy were living together with his ex wife for the sake of their child who wants to see her parents living together,his exwife has a bf who is also living with us.We wanted to leave out of this house but it's hard coz nobody will baby sit his daughter when they are all at work except me.I knew they can pay for a baby sitter but it messes her up in going to school ,she is now in first grade her school is very close from where we live right now.I find her exwife so materialistic ( sorry about that) it seems she is controlling us she wants to know everything about what we always up to.I am very lonely living here i swallowed my pride for the sake of his daughter.After all the things he has given up to his ex now look at him he is broke coz he sold his all assets and bought a nice house in Philippines, that time he was married with her and they bought also a house here in US.My husband is alwayss stress now,sometimes he is thinking to killed himself,and he even told me to find a guy who can fully support my needs.His exwife has been trying to convince him in getting back together even were already married.I didn't like what she did she already crossed the line.What should i do? I love him so dearly i don't really care if he got no money all i care is his love.Were always tight on budget coz lots of bills to pay here in America.

His exwife has no gratitude she wanted to sell her car to us, my husband bought it for her when they're still married and he gave it away when they broke up.I am so sory about this i know this is very unusual i never thought my life will be miserable.I got already my greencard and SS card i might be working soon as i can.I want to stay with my husband and help him out of this situation.I knew this is a part of a marriage life i shouldn't give up.I have been writing this several times but never posted it coz it might be a wrong place to post.Just wanted to let this hurt feelings out.I hope you guys would understand me.To all filipinos you guys are so lucky!! i am too young to have this kind of problems.Always pray to our Lord Almighty May God Bless us!..

i'm sorry about your current situation. i agree with other posters who have recommended seeking support outside of the cramped environment and to seek ways to extricate yourself (as a couple) that can still maintain a family unit with the child, if possible.

thank you knowledge for acknowledging the husband's remarks (bolded). wise words and comments. OP, your husband's comments are very concerning regarding his mood. i agree that the sooner you two can get out of the current situation, the better. talk with your husband about this thoughts, ensure that he does not have an active plan to kill himself. reinforce that you are by his side and will remain so through all this and that you are willing to work with him to get him, in fact you both, out of the current living situation, which clearly has affected both of your lives in a negative way. even if it means living in an apartment, elsewhere. stress to your husband that his well-being is your main concern.

good luck.

we lacked much evidence of our lives together so we brought affidavits. three from friends, one of whom attended our civil ceremony, and one from my brother. our officer seemed to put more stress on the one from my brother. so based on my sole experience- i would include at least one from a family member. i think it is most important when you need help to prove a bona-fide marriage and are lacking on other evidence.

james- you are completely right. an affidavit IS notarized. has to be in order to be an affidavit. otherwise, it's just a letter. i don't not think a letter proving your employment has to be notarized, but i would definitely notarize ANY letter that is to stand as evidence of your marriage. it's a legal, binding way to say "i, the undersigned, am speaking the truth."

an update on our situation-

husband called last night and the guy he spoke to was less than helpful and just overall frustrated and kept repeating "i don't understand" before summarily hanging up on my husband. coincidentally at 4pm on friday. hence, office now closed....

made an infopass appointment to request for USCIS to reenter his info (per previous advice) but next one was 8/20.

but guess what came monday- SSN!!!!

though, shocker, clearly only reflects the EAD and NOT the now-in-hand green card, which SSN was aware of. so we have to get a new card issued that doesn't say "for work reasons only". regardless- the SSN is his.

overall, 71days from time of filing for SSN at SSN office to arrival of SSN.

fyi- have seen posts re: is it delivered to a mailbox without the petitioners name on it. ours was.

glad to hear that most people don't have to wait as long. as if immigration status isn't stress-provoking enough. thanks for all the advice/info

when we physically went for an appointment last week, i'm pretty sure they were trying electronically, not just waiting for the manual verification. and the woman i spoke to yesterday tried again, electronically.

the woman i spoke to earlier this morning actually called me back (wow!) after speaking to some manager she couldn't connect me with. she told me that immigrations had requested a better copy of both sides of my husband's EAD. she assured me this was done already and that no, my husband did not have to go to the office and that at this point, things should be sorted out in a couple weeks.

the question this raises in me is whether this is new information since last friday OR whether this happened prior to last friday and the woman we met with last friday somehow completely missed this or deemed it as not worthy of us knowing. today's woman couldn't give me dates.

if only they would realize they could get rid of us if they just gave my now legal US resident of a husband his friggin' SSN!

our SSN has become a nightmare. today is day #53 from when my husband originally applied. just got off phone with SSN person who keeps telling us that there's nothing more she can do, we have to wait.

our SSN timeline:

june 4th- applied with EAD in hand. given standard "may take up to 3wks" paper with reference number

june 25th (day #22)- husband to office. "nothing to do. nothing wrong. just wait."

july 2nd (day #29)- i call. "nothing to do. nothing wrong. can take up to 45days for first ever SSN. just wait."

july 11 (day #38)- AOS approved! officer surprised still no SSN. advises us to call and inform them of husband's legal status. which we do while waiting for passport with stamp.

july 20 (day #47)- went to SSN office with passport, SSN reference number for appointment. told DHS hasn't verified/cleared his number. she copies stamp in his passport. says someone with more authority will be back next week and will help figure out problem. at this point, nothing more to do. just wait.

july 26 (day #53)- learn that apparently there is no one who talks with DHS to figure out where problems lie. again, nobody understands why taking so long but "it can take months", no he doesn't need to fill out a new application. no there's nothing more you can do right now. just wait. no, they can't tell me at what time we change from "just wait" to "there's a problem/clerical error."

nobody else has seemed to have to wait this long. or have they? talk about frustrating.

don't know what other people's experiences have been regarding job applications with EAD prior to getting SSN. he got a job and has only been waiting on SSN to be put on payroll. his boss seemed to want to wait to be able to officially put him on payroll prior to his starting. seems that this is pretty standard. however, his boss knows me and i've explained the situation and he's going to let him start working this week. the fact that his office is in the "frozen zone" area of nyc and he's fallen behind on business i think helped my husband start earlier!!

we've had a real problem with getting my husband his SSN. we got married end of february and promptly filed our paperwork. he got his EAD early June, went 6/4 to SSN to apply for SSN card. friends/VJ seemed to say it would come in under 2wks. he was told up to three weeks. three weeks later, no card. he went back to SSN office and they assured him nothing was missing, be patient, it'll come. I called a few days later and was told that it can take up to 45days, ESPECIALLY for someone not from US, etc etc. wait another week. we went to our interview on 7/11 and were approved. the officer was surprised that my husband did not have his SSN yet and suggested we call and inform them that he was now a legal resident. which we did and were again told we had to wait but that nothing was missing/wrong from what they could tell. call back in a week. last week i called again because still no SSN card. again, nothing wrong, it can take this long, yes- even if he is now a legal resident blah blah blah.

so i scheduled an appointment. which we had on friday- 46 days after my husband applied for his SSN. turns out that even though USCIS says my husband has cleared FBI name checks and is a legal resident (i had verified this on their website prior to going), DHS had not technically cleared him. and until that happens, the SS office computer system cannot and will not create a SSN for my husband. the woman had no idea why DHS hadn't cleared my husband yet and the woman who has the authority to physically talk with someone at DHS to determine what the specific problem is is on vacation until next week. we're allowed to call back next friday (which will be 54days after applying for the darn thing) to see if the situation is fixed.

so still no friggin SSN.

there is always much confusion about TB skin tests. it doesn't help that lung specialists and infection specialists differ in opinion over some of the issues as well. additionally, the skin test is NOT perfect and not all people react to it and not all people place it correctly. it's not a very good test.

to mariadane- skin tests are NOT recommended in people who have had tuberculous in the past NOR positive skin tests before

otherwise, it's not contraindicated, aka there are no reasons (like HIV, etc) that would prevent someone from getting one placed.

while a note documenting the positive test result in the past is helpful, there is nothing wrong with a person refusing a skin test and just requesting the chest xray. just explain you have had a positive test in the past. any competent doctor should NOT force anyone to repeat it. if they do, get yourself a new doctor. seriously.

chest xrays will show active pulmonary tuberculosis lesions and old tuberculosis lesions. why do we care about pulmonary tb? that's the most contagious. a positive skin test can mean the person has been exposed to tb in the past- chest xray checks for the most important form as far as public-health is concerned.

and last thing re BCG vaccine. it's a crappy vaccine and does not necessarily prevent TB. so that's another reason why many physicians will recommend a person doing 9mos of treatment for latent tb. why do countries still use it? it may decrease cerebral tb or tb meningitis in babies/kids.

my husband and i just finished our first AOS. the officer told us that in the past only about 10% of people got called back for interview. apparently marriage fraud is up and they are calling back many more couples (her quote: ~90%). so if you get called in for an interview- don't stress.

there seems to be many questions about TB testing.

here's the skinny (from a doc):

government bureaucracy demands TB testing. first step is the skin test (aka PPD). many who have received BCG test positive.

PPD negative- you are good to go.

PPD positive- you need a chest xray. these days, it is advised that if you are PPD positive, chest xray negative, that you do 9mos of medication for treatment of latent TB (literature differs on who to treat for latent TB). don't think the government really cares about this though.

if you have ever been PPD positive in the past, you are NOT supposed to receive another PPD again (can get very bad local reaction). explain to the doc that you are PPD positive. they should request a chest xray instead.

if you have had and been treated for TB in the past, you also should NEVER receive a repeat PPD. you should only get chest xray. this is to follow for active vs old lesions (different appearance).

chest xray clean- nothing to do.

chest xray with evidence of old disease- my advice when we went through this was to give sputums (x3) to be completely cleared and not have ANY problems with immigration paperwork. you will be cleared when the stain is negative (culture takes WEEKS- you do not have to wait for this)

chest xray with active disease, or sputum positive- likely you will be treated and afterwards cleared medically.

Hello everyone. my husband and i just had our interview last week and all went well. i was directed to this site by a friend and over the last few weeks i found it very useful. since we benefited from it, i thought it only fair to share our experiences. they seem pretty standard and nothing too horrible but we did tourist visa -> AOS (no K1). since our situation was a little different, i thought maybe this will help others like us.

i met my now-husband 4years ago while studying in peru. he was lucky to get a tourist visa and we were able to travel back and forth to see each other. we got engaged in 2006 but were hesistant to change his visa to a K1 at that time since he had planned to travel to visit me again within the next few months.

in december he traveled here (still tourist visa) to work on his english and prepare for medical residency exams (we're both docs). we decided a a couple months into his allotted 3mos that we were sick of spending all our time apart and we really wanted to start our lives together. so feb 23 we got married in a judge's chambers. we spent february preparing all our paperwork so that we could send it off immediately because he did not want to have any problems with immigration saying he overstayed his time (passport stamp said 2/28).

i will say- i did talk to an immigration lawyer friend who assured us that while it is good to get the paperwork in ASAP, once you are married, the foreigner does have the right to stay EVEN if paperwork has yet to be processed.

snags we hit along the way:

1) RFE for his spanish birth certificate. i scrambled to find a translator (didn't think i should be translating since i'm the one petitioning for the AOS). ended up using an online bid site i found via google search and was amazed with the results. anywhere from $5 to $80 offered. i chose a woman who did it for $10 and she was excellent: alicia martinez davidson, email tomalidav@sbcglobal.net. i highly recommend her. the kicker is- we learned at our immigration interview that spanish documents are the ONLY foreign language that do NOT need to be officially translated. oh well.

2) finding an affordable civil surgeon. it seems most docs become civil surgeons to supplement their income. NYC prices were regularly over $250. we found a guy for $168: dr. jean simon 718.786.0134 and 212.319.7974 (he has two offices, E70 and E63). we had to pay for the mandatory blood tests: syphilis and HIV.

3) medical process held up a little bit because my husband had and was treated for tuberculosis in the past. so no PPD (TB skin test) for him, just chest xray. which can be expensive for someone without insurance. the benefit of being in NYC is the Chelsea Health Center that offers free health care (or if not free, very affordable). since his chest xray returned as having signs of previous TB (not surprising), the doctor there recommended doing sputum samples for stain/culture. she said she was used to dealing with the department of health/government and thought it was really the best/easiest thing for my husband. the kicker, of course, is that his sputum was always negative- even when he had TB. regardless- he did the sputums (you have to go three times total, you can't do that three specimens in one day) and was cleared by the DOH on march 1st.

we had our interview last week. the main thing we lacked was legal proof of our cohabitation, etc (bank accounts, lease, insurance, etc) which are all very hard to establish when one lacks a social security number. i was a little worried about this (and i later learned, justifiably so). to counter this, in addition to copies of ALL paperwork we ever filed/received from USCIS, we brought:

-my journals from my travels to peru

-two photo albums filled with photos from various trips to us/peru

-4 notarized letters from friends and my brother who stated how they knew me/my husband, how they met me/my husband, how they learned of our marriage, that we are a bonafide in-love couple, and that we are living together. two of these people were at our civil ceremony. it seemed the one from my brother was the most important.

-wedding cards and (luckily!) some of the envelopes which were later placed into our file because it had both of our names on it and our current address (only thing we had with that)

the interview was relaxed though i did get nervous when the nice officer told me that we needed something, ANYTHING with our names on it for our file and that did NOT include USCIS paperwork. for anyone else in a similar situation, i would subscribe to a magazine or two in the non-US citizen's name because it seemed that that would have helped us.

she focused mostly on me- how did i meet him. did i meet his parents- when and where. have i met his family. she asked my husband what his plans were for furthering his career here in the US.

she looked at our photo albums for about 5minutes. asked me who so-and-so was a couple times, where this photo was taken. we then had to select a photo to be included in our file. she asked me where/when that was taken.

and then she told us that we were approved, albeit perhaps with the least amount of paperwork she's ever used. the benefit of the interview is that she was able to see how we interact together and that clearly we are together.

to clarify- it is only a conditional residency. we were warned that we will likely have to interview again in 2yrs given the paucity of proof we are together at this point.

the only thing we are still waiting on is the darned SSN. my husband got his EAD and went to the SSN office the next day. that was over 6wks ago. he has a job lined up but they want his SSN to put him on payroll. we've called the office a couple times, included from immigrations office after he was approved. we now have an appointment for friday morning. they assure me this timeline is perfectly fine but it seems a bit prolonged from what i've been researching.

so that's our story. i hope it helps some people! i was happy to have friends and this site to use and save me the lawyers' fees. i know we are lucky in that aspect. i think if you are well-organized and use this site/friends/family you can do it.