NigerianLove

Hello Everyone,

I normally post in the African Sub Saharan forum, but I found this post really enlightening. I was also laughing because the BO issue is not just a MENA issue. The first time I went to Nigeria I almost puked. I am very sensitive to smells. I remember asking my SO if they knew their underarms were stinking. He told me that no one had ever complained before about his smell and I said that's because you all smell the same way . He wanted . I realized that I had offended him. I mean he showered 2-3 times a day because of the heat, but they don't traditionally wear deodorant. I realized that part of it has to do with the cost and them being extremely poor. Anyway, I left him with deodorant and the next time I went to visit, we didn't have any problems. However, when he finally came to the states, the issue started all over again. My sister even had to tell him about wearing shirts 3 times without washing them and the odor. I think he finally got the hint. There are still occasions when I have to tell him about his BO, but he is more cautious about going into public not smelling. He loves cologne and brushes his teeth to the point that it sounds like he's choking himself .

Like you are so well known that people would point on the streets at you (if your husband posted something on a anonymous(sp?) website).

I don't tell me friends or my family - and here really, the other women can relate.

OMG! I would be so embarrassed if my husband posted about any of my habits that he found distasteful on a forum.

My point is not that someone might recognize me on the streets. For me, the thought of my husband commenting or complaining about my hygiene or personal habits to people on a forum is devastating. Whether I found out what he said or not is not what would even matter. Just the thought of my husband saying such things about me is upsetting.

Well, since you are not my husband, you need not concern yourself about it.

I apologize, I was only sharing my thoughts.

I apologize also. However, this is really an anonymous forum. The stresses of being responsible for EVERYTHING related to your spouse adjusting and not being able to speak to people close to you (in real life) can be overwhelming. The MENA crowd understand in some ways. We fight and disagree. But we all share a common experience and try to help each other also.

Too, too true. Furthermore, there might be something that you're experiencing that someone else went through, so it's a great way to learn how someone else dealt with an issue. We all need to vent about the issues that we experience. Moreover, being married to a foreigner is different than being married to another USC; where we might have a perspective about that person's attributes and upbringings. In the world of immigration, we're all getting our bearings - and some of us have been married and living with that person for a few years.

The ladies and few men that hang in this forum normally are very tolerant, respectful, and genuinely happy with their fiances/spouses, but on occasion, one might have a problem that goes beyond what they can deal with - so, they pose their questions or issues here. We all need to release our frustrations - and what better way than to a bunch of people whom you know and trust in cyberspace, rather than unleash the wrath upon your spouse where you might say something really wrong and hurtful.

My advice is if you don't want to read about issues with spouses, then you might just want to stick to the boards that deal specifically with your immigration issue.

Best of luck on your visa journey - hope you have an easy go of it!

glands

plans

Hi Pink!!

Thanks for the information you guys!

Hello Everyone,

Is it normal to receive your Permanent Residency card without an interview? or Was my husband and I one of the fortunate ones?

When you sign up for updates on the USCIS website, if you log on and the date has changed since the last time you logged on, you have been touched.

Thank you!

Hello Everyone,

It has been a while since I have been on here. My husband and I have been trying to adjust to marriage and finally being together. I see there are some new people here and I want to welcome you. Just remember that you will make it through even if it seems like your SO will never get here. My question is: Sometimes I see people's profile and it says there case was touched. How can you tell if your case was touched?

Hello All,

I hope everyone is great! For those of you recently approved, congratulations ! For those of you waiting, stay positive your day will arrive sooner than you think. Anyway, I was wondering what kind of jobs did your SO get when they first arrived in the US, especially those that only had high school diplomas. How did they answer the questions on an application that asks for people who can vouch for your work history, etc? I'm just looking for some experiences to help my fiance.

Thanks

It is so wonderful to see everyone sharing! It really me to read your posts. It keeps me strong. I'm trying to figure out ways to help my fiance and I adjust. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don't. Some days I walk away feeling guilty or hurt and I know he does too, but each day I thank God for him. I feel bad because he doesn't talk to anyone about how he feels. I have my girlfriends to help me release the tension. He needs another man to help him understand the American ways, especially the women . Hopefully, my BIL will start helping him with that.

Everyone, please keep on responding because it is very encouraging!

My hubby and I had countless conversations about getting married, living life together...shared all of our hopes and dreams....but then when it actually happens ...reality sinks in...and your life can take many unexpected turns.

That is so true. This is my fiance's third week here and things have been smooth for the most part, but there have also been some frustrating parts in between. Booker and I spent countless HOURS discussing our lives and how things will be once he arrived. We both had a good idea of how life would be, but once we actually started going through the motions, it was harder than we expected. He honestly hasn't had a problem adjusting to life here even though he does get bored and mentions wanting to work, but he was prepared for that so he doesn't mention it often.

The hardest thing for us was adjusting to each other's personalities 24/7. I always knew he was quiet and he always knew I was loud and outgoing, but it magnified now that we are living together and we seriously had a rough 2 day "personality adjustment phase" last week because of it. It opened our eyes and the fact that we will be stuck together forever hit home and reality sunk in. We both discussed it and agree that we don't regret it, but it was a hard time for both of us. We also go back and think about the talks and preparations we went through and we try to remain as patient as possible with each other. Sometimes he will mention that he misses Liberia or feels upset about not being near his family. At those points, I will give him a long hard hug just to let him know that I am here for him and I am thankful that he left everything behind to come here.

It can be very stressful for them to come and have them not work. No matter what, it still makes them feel a bit useless or dependent. We take each day at a time and just remember the pain we went through to make it to this point. VJ also helps let us know that this adjustment period is normal and we aren't falling apart, but re-adjusting.

Congrats

Congrats!

My God is good.!!!!!!!!!! My finace got approved at 8.30am (US time), His appointment was by 7am his time but he was not interviewed till the officers got back from their lunch break. Dont have all details but he was asked just two questions, "tell me about ur fiancee", How did u meet" was then asked for some pictures and then welcomed to America!!!!!!!

Hello and welcome to America!

Hey Everyone,

I made it to the US yesterday, i must say that America is a very beautiful place anyone would like to live in.

It was really nothing hard to do at the airport, just walk through the customs when they asked my passport and the I-94 form that i filled out on the plane, took my fingerprints ask some couple of questions like where you going to live while in the US.....I also handed over the brown envelop that was giving to me at the embassy the envelop contains the non-immgrant forms,I-156 and the I-156K in the packet 3 and your medical results. It was really nothing hard to do there as long as you fill out the I-94 and the customs form correctly, it was about 15mins delay to get through the whole thing.

Best Wishes,

Jamil

Francis,

Thank you so much for sharing. I want to say that I chose my SO for the very values that you talk about. I love his sense of family, which includes providing. I love that he is a real man in every sense of the word. More importantly, he, like you, looks to the scriptures for guidance and not to the world's standards. In posting my experiences thus far, my goal was to gain insight and support to see if I was the only one that had experienced some difficulty with the adjustment phase. Often times, it helps to share your thoughts or experiences because it not only helps you to face another day, but it may help someone else. Personally, it is not about control for me. I can't control my SO and he cannot control me. However, we are responsible to God and the requirements that he has lain down in the bible for husbands and wives. I'm not perfect, but I give my best when it comes to fulfilling that obligation. Should I fail, I pray for forgiveness and I try harder the next day. I appreciate your thoughts. We do not have enough African male voices around here. It takes all of the fruitages of the spirit for a person to adapt to situations that are less than desirable and you are to be commended for your strength and humility. Once again, thank you for your post you have really helped me a lot.

Hi Everyone,

It's always a blessing to be able to share with people and to help others to understand the opposite sex. I enjoy most of the things that I read at this forum. Now, I think that it is time that an African man who is not an American lady steps in and clear some things here.

I'm a strong Christian and a discipline of Jesus Christ. I'm married to an American lady close to four years now with two kids, a boy and a girl. My son is 2 years old and my daughter is 7 months old. We are both committed Christian and love the Lord with all our hearts. Now, that we have been married four years with two kids and we just came to the States on July 1 2007. We have lived in Turkey, Nigeria and China before we came to the States. I can give some of you ladies advice and try to help you to understand us men from Africa.

I will start this by saying that every man love to be the head of his family from the creation that was how God created and made things to be. Now, that we the men from Africa are coming to the States to live with our loved wives and to be subjected to a lady who will now tell you what to do, when to do it and how you should be doing things. Let's put ourselves in their shoes. I'm living here with no friends, family members and in a new and unfamiliar environment. Now, I have to be depending on my wife for everything and especially when she is the one working and paying for everything. It's not an "EGO THING" like some people will view it as, but lets look at the bible and see that God created the man to take care of his wife. So, you ladies firstly it would be hard on every man not only Africa men but to every responsible man.

I'm living with my father and mother in-law in the same house with my family. Think about this situation and how hard it will be on me as a man, living with my in-law and they are providing us with everything that we need. I sometimes feel bad about the way things are and at the same time thank God that we have a place to stay.

The first time we came, I have to stay at home and wait for my Green Card then my SSN and then I got my driving License. I got all these things under two months and then got a job. I have to adjust to the fact that I am not in my country where I was born and used to the ways things are being done and now I am living with my in-laws. Sometimes I get upset with little things and my in-laws will be asking me are you happy and all those things. I have lived on my own for more than 14 years before I met my wife and now situation have turned me into a boy again and not only that but when you are adjusting with your family I most be real it is hard to take sometimes. Even my wife will lose it sometime, because her parents want us to be kids again.

So, lets get back to the topic. Lets the ladies out there put themselves in your husband’s shoes. If you are to leave the States and live in Africa and doesn't have friends and families there and have to adjust to the live there and people it would be hard on you and it was hard on my wife when we lived in Nigeria for just 10 months. Then here in the States you can't drive because you do not have license or car and there is not a good transportation system here, so most times you are at home sitting down. I did that with my family and out of experience it will be hard on any man and especially from Africa. That's why he might be doing some things that you might not understand because the situation is out of his control. Then when you don't watch what you say, he might respond in the way that will suppress or upset you.

When you are dealing with an African man that it adjusting keep these things in your mind:

1. He is adjusting and living in an unfamiliar environment.

2. The situation that he finds in himself into is totally out of his control.

3. Men never want to depend on women.

4. Men will always like to be a man in the house and not a boy (unless you married a boy).

5. When a man doesn't work and sits down at home, it makes him feel worth less.

6. Men like to know that they are in control and not their wives and that they are making some contribution in the family.

Understanding men will be challenging sometime, but understand that we are made differently by God and we need to understand that two people from two different culture and family background will have a lot of things to overcome. Marriage is for men and ladies and not for boys and girls. It's endurance and patience that separates a man from a boy or a lady from a girl.

Then as a child of God, He will give you what it takes to overcome every challenge that comes to your family and marriage. God is the only that we turn to for help. We pray and do our marriage bible study together. Then as a man God call us to be servants in our home and most African men will never understand this and trying to adjust to what we saw from our parents and culture all our lives growing up will be challenging, so changing it will require handwork and God. That's why the bible tells us to renew our mind in Roman 12 vs. 1 and 2. When we give our lives to Christ then we need to allow God's word to transform our thinking. Most African man thinks that I am crazy the way I look after my kids and my wife. I don't follow the world’s standard; I follow the word of God. It's the foundation of our marriage.

I have said so must, but I will continue to put in my contribution and offer any help or counseling when it is required. My yahoo chat ad is okeybosah2ng@yahoo.com. I can always answer any question and give my advice in any situation that I can.

Thanks to all of you ladies out there, know that God and His word is our strength and our hope and wisdom. Lets keep one another in our prayers and be there for each other.

God bless

Yours in the Lord

Francis

My SO and I currently do not cohabitate and we won't until after we get married. My sister and my niece moved in with me for a couple of months which I thought would be wonderful for my SO to really get to know them. It's been okay so far, except yesterday she said something that offended him and he got mad at me and I was like , what did I do? Dang, even God rested on Sunday. Anyway, one of the key points that everyone keeps saying is that African men have a lot of PRIDE. Thank goodness I have a high tolerance level! I can't wait for him to start working and being independent so he can stop telling me I treat him like a boy. I think once he is independent, he will feel valued. Right now, we are at a truce. We'll see how long it lasts.

I am so thankful for this post! Of course we all love our partners tremendously, but it is important to acknowledge that love is a battle, a beautiful one. as nana's arrival date approaches, I find myself excited, anxious, and also NERVOUS! he is an African man with a lot of PRIDE and he really likes to be the caretaker. Thus, I know it will not be easy for him to have to adjust to a new country as well as a new culture. I myself, am very strong-minded and naturally a tough ###! haha. so I'm already prepping myself to be as understanding and as considerate as possible. I moved into a larger apartment a few months ago, so that Nana and I would have a lot of space and the opportunity to have some "individual" space whenever needed. Even when decorating the apt, I tried to leave some things undecorated, so that he can have a say when he arrives. I don't want him to feel bombarded by everything being "me, me me!" so yeah, I get scared too. I am sooo happy to have this forum and I think it is important to have these threads! Let us never fail to keep up discussion!

I will definitely keep you all updated with adjustment, etc.

PEACE AND LOVE!!!

Iyawo,

Girl, you hit the nail on the head! It is exactly like being a mother, which I don't want to do and is probably why he feels like a kid sometime. Dang, how do you balance that when it is like a kid that you are teaching everything. I wish he was self-sufficient because it would make my job easier and cut down on 90% of the arguments. I mean he was daddy when I was over there visiting and I accepted it. Actually, I appreciated it. As career-oriented as I am, I loved depending on him! But he is a man and it is totally different. Sometimes, I want to him and sometimes I want to him on the head, but that's still my baby!

Boaz,

Thanks so much for your words of wisdom. I too am a get to the point and tell the truth girl . I like the idea of him having cash and paying for things in the store. He doesn't look at prices. For example, we went to a special market to find foods from his country. He gets what he needs. I go off and explore the store and let him do his thing. I come back to the cart and he has some type of fish in the cart. I asked him if the fish was used in a special dish that they prepared at home. He said no that he liked the way it looked so he knew he would like it. I thought I would lose my mind, but I didn't say a word. I simply stated that we are on a budget and that it cost $11 which was a lot in light of everything else that we needed to buy. He picked up some other items that he didn't know the price. I tried to explain to him that I look at prices and compare them, but he just got upset and started sucking his teeth (this drives me nuts because teenagers do this). So, you are right. I'm going to give him cash when we go shopping and tell him that's all we have to spend and let him do the shopping. He already understands about the bills. He's amazed at the taxes we have to pay and that we have to tip the waitress .

I am fortunate because we share the same religious beliefs, which is why the bond is so strong. Maybe the men are different in Cameroon, but my fiance would never sit through premarital counseling! Shoot, I hope he doesn't read this because he gets on this site . Please feel free to send me a PM.

NigerianLove,

Do I know you from somewhere?!?! Your posting is almost an exact replica of what I too have gone through! Wow!

OK. Now that I am almost over the shock (seriously, a lot of what you stated really is a duplicate of things I've gone through) I wish to share a few things with you.

My husband has been here for one year and 8 months. Like yourself, I too love my husband dearly, and often times whisper a prayer of thanks for such a wonderful blessing. Even when things start to turn upside down, I am still thankful. But even with the best of thoughts in mind, we must take into consideration that two lives are now becoming one. So ... how does a 30+, career oriented woman deal with this strong African man she's been blessed with?!?!?

1. Build him up every moment you can. For example: instead of paying bills on line, and pulling out the money for the grocery - give him the responsibility of taking care of such matters. When my husband arrived, I would give him a wad of cash to take care of the household expenses. To this day I don't know if he was excited about seeing the money, or feeling empowered to make sure things are being taken care of. In either case he quickly learned the concept of how easily money diminishes when bills are needing to be paid. And it also makes him feel like "HE" is the big man on campus when we approach the counter and grocery, movie tickets, etc., etc. needs to be paid for. Even to this day - I don't even reach for my purse, because he likes feeling like he's taking care of things.

2. Watch your tone of voice! Personally I am a get to the point, and tell the whole truth type of girl. So far this way of thinking has proven to be successfull (career wise), but when you are home with you man .... try, try, t-r-y to soften things a bit. He already does not have a job, don't know his way around, and does not have friends and family nearby (we live in a small southern town). You are indeed all he's got. So instead of telling him what to do ... ask him what does he think, or how does he suggest something gets done? This puts the burden on his shoulders (makes him feel empowered), and it may start to challenge his thought process as to how things are done here. By the way, sometimes when he refuses to answer a question, and trys to put the ball back in your court, it may be his 'manly' way of acknowledging that he does not know how, or what to do.

3. I have so much more to say, but I will end this post with the following:

Make God and central part of your relationship. NOTE: There is a difference between each of you having God in your lifes individually, versus collectively as a couple. I think one of the best things for my marriage was having premarital counseling. Our sessions were not totally about whether we were right for each other, but mainly are we prepared to do things God's way. For example: when you are frustrated when him, and want to scream at the top of your lungs, I challenge you to review Proverbs 31 and see if that's how God really wants you to be; also - when he is struggling with adjusting to life here (food, environment, etc., etc.) provide him with the reassurance that God have and always will make a way. The Bible is our guide for everything.

Like I mentioned earlier, I could say a whole lot more, but for now I will end it here (sorry for such a long post). But as you stated earlier "this is a journey you signed up for." So be appreciate for the 'little' things he does that makes it worth while.

I wish you and everyone else the best!

Boaz

Boaz,

Thanks so much for your words of wisdom. I too am a get to the point and tell the truth girl . I like the idea of him having cash and paying for things in the store. He doesn't look at prices. For example, we went to a special market to find foods from his country. He gets what he needs. I go off and explore the store and let him do his thing. I come back to the cart and he has some type of fish in the cart. I asked him if the fish was used in a special dish that they prepared at home. He said no that he liked the way it looked so he knew he would like it. I thought I would lose my mind, but I didn't say a word. I simply stated that we are on a budget and that it cost $11 which was a lot in light of everything else that we needed to buy. He picked up some other items that he didn't know the price. I tried to explain to him that I look at prices and compare them, but he just got upset and started sucking his teeth (this drives me nuts because teenagers do this). So, you are right. I'm going to give him cash when we go shopping and tell him that's all we have to spend and let him do the shopping. He already understands about the bills. He's amazed at the taxes we have to pay and that we have to tip the waitress .

I am fortunate because we share the same religious beliefs, which is why the bond is so strong. Maybe the men are different in Cameroon, but my fiance would never sit through premarital counseling! Shoot, I hope he doesn't read this because he gets on this site . Please feel free to send me a PM.

NigerianLove,

Do I know you from somewhere?!?! Your posting is almost an exact replica of what I too have gone through! Wow!

OK. Now that I am almost over the shock (seriously, a lot of what you stated really is a duplicate of things I've gone through) I wish to share a few things with you.

My husband has been here for one year and 8 months. Like yourself, I too love my husband dearly, and often times whisper a prayer of thanks for such a wonderful blessing. Even when things start to turn upside down, I am still thankful. But even with the best of thoughts in mind, we must take into consideration that two lives are now becoming one. So ... how does a 30+, career oriented woman deal with this strong African man she's been blessed with?!?!?

1. Build him up every moment you can. For example: instead of paying bills on line, and pulling out the money for the grocery - give him the responsibility of taking care of such matters. When my husband arrived, I would give him a wad of cash to take care of the household expenses. To this day I don't know if he was excited about seeing the money, or feeling empowered to make sure things are being taken care of. In either case he quickly learned the concept of how easily money diminishes when bills are needing to be paid. And it also makes him feel like "HE" is the big man on campus when we approach the counter and grocery, movie tickets, etc., etc. needs to be paid for. Even to this day - I don't even reach for my purse, because he likes feeling like he's taking care of things.

2. Watch your tone of voice! Personally I am a get to the point, and tell the whole truth type of girl. So far this way of thinking has proven to be successfull (career wise), but when you are home with you man .... try, try, t-r-y to soften things a bit. He already does not have a job, don't know his way around, and does not have friends and family nearby (we live in a small southern town). You are indeed all he's got. So instead of telling him what to do ... ask him what does he think, or how does he suggest something gets done? This puts the burden on his shoulders (makes him feel empowered), and it may start to challenge his thought process as to how things are done here. By the way, sometimes when he refuses to answer a question, and trys to put the ball back in your court, it may be his 'manly' way of acknowledging that he does not know how, or what to do.

3. I have so much more to say, but I will end this post with the following:

Make God and central part of your relationship. NOTE: There is a difference between each of you having God in your lifes individually, versus collectively as a couple. I think one of the best things for my marriage was having premarital counseling. Our sessions were not totally about whether we were right for each other, but mainly are we prepared to do things God's way. For example: when you are frustrated when him, and want to scream at the top of your lungs, I challenge you to review Proverbs 31 and see if that's how God really wants you to be; also - when he is struggling with adjusting to life here (food, environment, etc., etc.) provide him with the reassurance that God have and always will make a way. The Bible is our guide for everything.

Like I mentioned earlier, I could say a whole lot more, but for now I will end it here (sorry for such a long post). But as you stated earlier "this is a journey you signed up for." So be appreciate for the 'little' things he does that makes it worth while.

I wish you and everyone else the best!

Boaz

I'm so happy for you! Doesn't it feel like a big weight has been lifted off of your shoulders.

That great news!

hello everyone!

i am writing with good news! as of 30 minutes ago, Nana and I have been APPROVED! i am sooooooooo happy and excited and i feel wonderful. i couldn't sleep the entire night and my heart was beating out of my chest! i had to share with you guys immediately, as everyone on this forum has been so helpful and honest with their own stories. Thanks so much!

so nana got there bright and early, around 6:30am. He waited (not too long according to him). they took his documents, affadavit of support, etc, and told him to wait. afterwards, they eventually called him in for the interview! he said the man who interviewed him asked him a few questions like:

where did you meet your wife?

how is your love life? (nana said that one made him blush!) haha.

after those questions, nana said the interviewer explained to him that there was a lot of fraud involved in many of these cases. nana said he didn't understand at that point why the interviewer was giving him this information. anyway, nana remained calm and the interviewer then said: "however, it is obvious that you and your wife are genuinely in love and that is beautiful! enjoy brooklyn!"

nana was sooooo happy and overjoyed! he was practically in tears when he called me. so he has to pick up his visa next friday the 21st, and he should be here by the next day or the day after! we are looking for tickets now!!! YAY!!!! i am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited and happy that we have made it past this stage....love is an amazing journey...thanks to you all for your endless support and advice!

peace and love

Hello Everyone,

Tomorrow Sept. 16 will be 1 month that my fiance has been in the US. As I don't see a lot of posts about the trials and tribulations after they arrive, I decided to start a thread and be very honest. So, here I go:

I love my fiance with all my heart and I am so glad that he is here! I don't miss ordering calling cards, bad connections, waking up at 1, 2, or 3 a.m. because of the time difference there, and my heart breaking from not receiving daily hugs and kisses. Yet, it has been a major adjustment. I don't know if it is different when the fiance is a woman coming to the US. I think so because for a woman to depend on a man is natural, but I think it hurts a man's pride to be dependent on a woman, especially strong African men. I must say that I have a strong personality, but I am trying my best to adjust and not make him feel like a little kid, but how do you do that when you are responsible for teaching him about his new home. How do you explain clothing, respect issues, and other cultural aspects without coming off as being bossy ?

I have a job that is demanding. Basically, I take care of people and figure out how to fix/solve situations all day. Then, I come home and I'm responsible for someone else's needs all the way to the food they will consume. I don't like to worry about what I'm going to eat let alone another person . Yet, I signed up for this journey and I don't regret it. He gets mad at me, I get upset with him, He gets mad at me again and again and again you get the picture. I know this is par for the course. However, I wish I had a place where I lived where people in this situation got together and shared how they adjusted, but I don't so I'm coming here and hopefully my sharing will help me and someone else.

I thank God that I waited to the ripe old age of 34 to get married because I know what it takes to stand strong through disagreements, hurt feelings, anger, and impatience. We know how to say we are sorry, most of the time, and I just let it go. The bible is our guide and helps to keep us bonded and grounded. I focus on his wonderful qualities like how he comes into the garage when he hears me come home. He opens the car door and tells me "Your Welcome." He carries any bags I have, including my purse. He cleans the house, cuts the grass, and keeps his things nice and neat. He calls me 'Queen.' More importantly, he left everything that he has known to come be with me . Therefore, I pray for patience, guidance, an attitude adjustment, and the ability to be a good wife!

I wish you all success on your approvals and the continued adjustment to your SO !

I'm doing a dance for you because I know right now he is in your arms. When you come up for air, give us a holler.

This is great! I wish you two the best.

Hello All,

If this his been posted somewhere else, please point me in the right direction and you will not have to respond. My fiance entered with a temp work stamp. He has his SS card. Question: I've been hesitating on him finding a good job because I'm concerned that after we get married the stamp will no longer be valid and he will lose his job. Does anyone have any experience on if companies check after they hire you or will he likely receive his permanent EAD before they get around to checking? I don't want him to lose out on a wonderful opportunity and I don't want to do anything illegal.

Thanks

My fiance came in on a K-1 through JFK and received a temporary work stamp. His SS card also indicates that he can work. From my understanding, JFK is the only POE that is currently giving the stamp. Maybe someone else has received it from a different POE, but I don't think so.

**Correct ONLY K-1 is a "Work Authorized" visa, K-3's have to file for EAD. K-3's can only work with and actual EAD card, or after AOS is approved and use the Green-Card.

One of the reasons people should consider not going for the K-3 and just stick with the CR-1 (I-130) petition. A CR-1 visa gets a green-card upon entry, and is immediately work authorized, this along with the high cost of adjustment of status ($1010) from K-3 to get green-card.

**K-3 is issued an I-94 with an expiration nearly 2 years after entry, so you have legal presence for that long. You file for the EAD through the USCIS service that has jurisdiction over where you will live in the USA using code (a )(9 ) this will get you an EAD valid as long as the I-94 card (Up to 2 years)

You then file for AOS just before your 2nd wedding anniversary, this should result in a 10 year un-conditional green card.

EAD costs $340 if filed for before AOS but is no additional cost if allied for with AOS. Lifting conditions from a conditional green card costs $545.

The only cost to factor in is the cost of a full medical if AOS is not filed for within 1 year of getting the K-3 visa.

Good Luck,

Jamil

Congrats on Booker making it safely! I know we won't see you for a while. I'm just now coming up for a quick gulp of air before I go back underwater!

she has not come up for air yet and happily walking on cloud 9 I think

You're in my thoughts!!!!! You will have a wonderful interview!

Well my fiance's interview is on September 6th at 7:00am. I am extremely nervous and cannot seem to get anything done or focus on work. I don't think there will be any problems, but as you all know, there could always be something........Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.......

congrats

Let us know when he is going to arrive.

Hellloooo? Anybody home? Nigerianlove? Yoooouuuu hoooo! Where are youuuu? LOL! We are eagerly waiting on how everything went with the homecoming. Must be having tooo much fun with the future hubby! Anyway, hope all is well.

Okay you guys,

I have been so tired. I'm a teacher and school has started. He had a safe trip. He said it was very easy to navigate the airport. He arrived at the airport at 6:30 p.m. Naija time. He asked for a seat close to the front per my request of him. He said that people had arrived earlier than him and he was only able to get into row 17. I wanted him closer to the front so he could rush to immigration and be one of the first people in the line for immigration. He was able to make it through immigration (JFK airport), get his luggage and transport it to a totally different terminal (6), check in with the new plane within 2 hrs. Thank goodness JetBlue was not delayed. His flight to Orlando was easy. He has been resting. It feels like he belongs here. He says that he feels like he belongs here. Of course, we are in the honeymoon stage of him being in a new country. He has been welcomed by my friends and family so I think that willhelp tremendously with the transition. We are going to do wedding cake testing tomorrow. I have not taken him to Wal-Mart yet. I'm trying to prolong it as long as possible , but he keeps seeing the stores. This man is so sweet. He opens doors, even in Naija he did this, compliments me all the time and doesn't care who is around, which is totally different from his conservative upbringing.

Thank you all for the well wishes! Now, I can get some sleep because I'm not as stressed (lol).

congrats

True

congrats

Tru

Congrats!