My husband and I met a little over a year after the death of his first wife. She died from breast cancer in Lagos. We are all of the same religion and very close knit worldwide. We strongly believe in marrying one of lack faith. Race and color is not a factor. However I am a black American, born and raised here in the US all my life.
Shortly after my husband's wife died I suffered a terrible lost. One of my dearest friends died in an auto accident leaving her two very young daughters behind. I spiraled into depression. I had seen pictures of my husband's wife's funeral through his daughter who is a naturalized citizen here in the US. This was shortly before my friend died. On the pictures this man caught my attention. Later I would learn it was Patrick.
Truthfully I asked about him and would from time to time thru my now step-daughter. Eventually after many months to make a long story short, he asked if he could call me.
Arrangements were made. I was shown how to purchase and use the phone cards. As soon as I heard his voice for the first time I knew this was the man I had always been dreaming of. Such a sweet and gentle man. And good looking!!!
We would talk every night using the phone cards. Four or five cards a night was nothing. We discussed everything. What I wanted in a husband and what he wanted in a wife. Our religion teaches that the man should love his wife as his own body and that the wife should show deep respect for her husband. We spent many hours pouring over scriptures and bible based articles that would prepare me for my new relationship . I have been divorced for 30 years and he was married for 29 yrs before the death of his wife. He will be bringing 3 children with him all teenagers, the youngest being 15. They are very sweet and well mannered.
I have three grown children who have no problem with this marriage. they are happy that I finally tied the know again. My husband is 10 yrs younger, but you really can't tell because I am very active and look much younger than my years. he was surprised when he first saw my pictures and even more so when he saw me.
After a couple of months we agreed to marry. I traveled to Lagos and married him the next day. I spent less than 2 weeks with my husband in May 2006 due to time restraints my employer put on me.
But it was beautiful. We were married at the registry but in full Nigerian dress (we both matched and I had sent my measurments earlier). The registry was full of family and friends and there were lots of pictures there and at the reception.
I Married May 25,2006, filed the I-130 June 12,2006 and the I-129 July 12,2006 after writing my congressman I received both approvals within a week of each other in eary Sept. 2006. My husband's interview was Dec. 21,2006. He was denied due to lack of evidence. Wanted original marriage license, more pictures and phone bills before the marriage. I sent all that back and he took it back to the embassy Jan. 5,2007. The consular I feel tricked us, because he said that the visa would be issued if he got those things. He instead referred our case for administrative investigation and has told my congresswoman's office that it could take 1 year before he is finished with the process. So we wait.
I went back to Lagos for 2 weeks in March 2007. In all my husband and I have been together for 24 days in persom.
Even though it is hard sometimes, I pray often and it gives me the power to continue. I try to stay happy and positive knowing that so many of you are going through similiar circumstances. And my husband is wonderful. He is such a strong man. Not bitter, long suffering as well and optimistic that soon very soon we will be together.
Correction he arrive May 26, 2008. I spent exactly one month in Lagos and he went thru 3 interviews before we did the dual interview. The best thing to come out out this was he arrived and received his green card 3 weeks later. He is now in school learning a trade.
