Rania

In all fairness to the cops, they get false reports of abuse a lot. They are rightfully suspicious when the report comes long after the actual abuse was said to have taken place. You have to see it from their perspective. If the abuse wasn't bad enough to justify calling the cops and seeking their protection at the time it occurred, why is it bad enough to justify calling the cops long after it actually happened? In most cases, there is an ulterior motive - the accuser wants a police report to use against their spouse, usually for a divorce case.

It's not the job of the police to rubber stamp your accusation in order to give it credibility so that you can use it in a divorce or immigration case. It's their job to solve crimes, capture criminals and offer protection. In most states, if you call them at the time the abuse occurs, and they see any evidence of abuse, they are required to make an arrest. This is intended to give you some safe time so you can file for a restraining order. They are understandably reluctant to believe someone who didn't take any action to protect themselves at the time the abuse occurred, and only decide to report the abuse when they need a police report.

I take issue with this. Where do you get your 'a lot' from? How do you know there are 'a lot' of false reports? Are you a cop? I don't understand why you automatically assume that cops will not want to take an accusers side rather than do take their side and if it turns out to be false than so be it.

Secondly, battered and abused women will have serious injuries, go to the hospital for broken bones and concussions and still not report the batterer because they fear their abuser, they often have no where else to go, and their psyche is so broken down that they 'rationalize' the situation. I also know of battery situations where the cops WERE called and took so long to respond that the situation was diffused by then. Thank god the women weren't dead.

It's POV like yours that trivialize the tragedy that women go through when they are abused or make them think twice about EVER seeking justice for what happened to them. Of course there are people who abuse the system, but it isn't fair to stigmatize the whole issue by those people alone.

ANYWAY. I filed my restraining order today and will try and get a hold of border patrol, perhaps they can be more helpful in terms of getting him at the airport.

I am on the phone with ICE right now and they say they can do nothing as there has been no immigration violation and he is not in the USA right now.

Thanks again for all the replies. I have just come back from the police station and the family law clerk where I filed a police report for the threats and the past abuse and I also filed for divorce. That was a harrowing experience as I felt the police officers did not believe me since I hadn't reported the abuse from before, even with all the emails, but I did it anyway just to have it on record. Tomorrow morning I will go to file the restraining order (I told the police officer it was urgent, but he said urgency applies only to those in the US) so I missed the time period to file the order. I am going to call ICE in a bit before I get to work.

Thanks for all the advice. I am going to the police and ICE today as well as filing for a divorce.

I now know he has a flight booked for this Saturday. I haven't been responding to his emails at all, but should I contact him to inform him of the divorce, the police report and contacting ICE? I am hoping this will have him think twice about boarding that flight. I have been debating whether I should do this or not, or just hope he gets a nasty surprise at the airport. But what if they do nothing?

I am facing quite a dilemma. My husband came to the US on a k-1. We did the AOS, he was approved in Nov 09 and everything was quite easy.

The problem is this: As soon as my husband came to the US, he became very abusive. I chalked it up to all the stress of the immigration process, the fact that we became new parents in the middle of all of it, the fact that the economy was so bad and we were hurting financially, that he was so far from home...etc. However, as things started to get better, he still was extremely abusive to me. Not only physically, but he didn't allow me access to any money. I became distant and cold towards him. I did so much, excused so much of his behavior, and he continued to be abusive. I never reported it because I was scared of him and to be frank, I was stupid.

On Easter Sunday, he hit me in front of my sister, which created a huge problem between he and my family. He emptied our bank accounts (months before, I realized), demanded I pay him back the rent he paid, told everyone he was going back home and never coming back, bought a one-way ticket and left, all the while I was dealing with a baby who was running a fever. After he left, instead of dealing with the shock of it all, I had to run the baby to the ER for her fever. I couldn't believe he would leave knowing our baby was so sick.

I didn't hear from him for weeks. He left me with no money to support the baby or myself. I sold the truck he used for work (it was in my name) and his tools for some quick cash for rent and bills and baby supplies. Then, he started to send me emails saying how he was so happy to have left me, how he's getting married again, etc. I emailed him a curt message back telling him I sold his stuff, as I suspected this is when the games were about to begin. I wanted to make it clear that we didn't have a chance of getting back together. Then the avalanche of threats and abuse began - apparantly he was intending to come back the whole time. He was putting on this big production to teach me a lesson, and didn't expect me to move on so quickly. He threatened to kill me, wait outside my work to beat me, to steal my car, to hurt my family. After ignoring him and his threats for weeks he emailed me today and said he was coming back sometime this week and better find him a place to live and lend him my car until he buys a new one. I ignored him still.

I don't want him to come back, let alone be able to file to get his 10 year greencard. This man bought his one-way ticket back home, stood in front of our 1 year old daughter and told her he was never, ever going to see her again, only to turn around and play games. Not only is he abusive, but I cannot risk him play these games with my daughter when she actually understands what is going on. I want him out of our lives.

I know from reading other posts that many people on here stress personal responsibility when it comes to this whole immigration process, but I cannot allow him to ruin my daughter's life. I entered this marriage in good faith, and he became a monster after coming here. We have been together for 6 years and I was in denial of his behavior because he changed so much after coming here. What can I do to prevent him from being able to stay permanently in this country and just causing my family trouble? I don't want to have to deal with restraining orders, abuse shelters and living in fear. Tomorrow I will file for divorce, but from what I understand he may be able to lift conditions despite a divorce. What are my options?

I just wanted to share some good news. After having done all the paperwork myself on a very complicated case (especially the K-1), my husband has finally been approved for his Greencard. This site was tremendously helpful.

We had our interview on Tuesday, and it couldn't have been easier. During the K-1 process, I got pregnant and our daughter was born. This fact helped our case get approved with very little questions. They asked how we met and when I got pregnant (to check it with dates in my passport, I assume). After this, the officer was more interested in tourist tips to London than anything else, as he was going on vacation there in a few weeks (my husband and I met there)! My husband's name was not on the birth certificate as he wasn't in the States in time for our daughter's birth, but we were in the process of establishing paternity. The officer didn't even want to wait until the paternity case was approved as it would take months, he just approved us on the spot. I had so much evidence and put together so much paperwork, and I barely had to show a thing. The officer was such a kind man and the interview was nothing more than two questions and verification that we lived together. He got approved on November 10 and came to the States on June 6th. Not even six months later.

I hope that this success story will calm some of the nerves of those going through this process. If your marriage is legitimate, it's so easy. The main issue is the waiting game.

Good luck to everyone!

Yes of course she is qualified. It was the same co-sponsor that brought him to the States on the K-1 visa. I was just wondering in the grand scheme of things about the relevance of a sponsor when you are finally making it on your own.

I should also add we have some savings and are pretty set financially. My husband, while still a fiance, worked as much as he could and brought some money over when he first came as well. he took a break while waiting for his EAD and now that he has it is working again.

I was just wondering regarding the sponsorship and financial situation -

We have a co-sponsor for the AOS, as I (the USC) have not been working because we had a baby. Now that my husband is here in the States, he's working and supporting us - paying rent, bills and whatnot. Does this count for anything when considering the finances in the AOS procedure? Our interview is tomorrow and I was wondering if we should bring that up.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read my question.

Our interview is tomorrow too, and I have come on here to ask the same questions regarding the sponsor paperwok, adn I found this post, so I am waiting for the answer too.

In regards to the documentation establishing eligibility - that means all the evidence that you are married and all his k-1 stuff, since that is how your spouse is eligible for the greencard. This includes the passort with the K-1 visa, the marriage certificate, and all the evidence supporting that.

And the I-94 IS that little piece of paper stapled into the passport. Not sure what to do if it is lost, but if you have a copy bring that in and explain that it was lost.

Good Luck on your interview!

My situation is exactly like yours. My fiance is illegal in Britain and he is Albanian. we have been together for nearly 4 years. i have never been to albania- our relationship has occurred exclusively in the country he lived in illegally. I told them the truth about his status and how he is living there illegally. i sent in all my passport stamps and pictures - that's it. we got approved.

I went to see two lawyers and they both said that he can remain in Italy, until his interview since he is not a legal resident of Italy, he has to go to Tunisia for the interview. Which is fine we are planning to when he gets approved here in the USICS first. Then we'll deal , my point was I wanted to be ready for all this if I was going to do it by myself without a lawyer. But I guess I need one.

MY situation is exactly the same as yours. Exactly - going home is a risk for him and so on. However, I went ahead and applied for my fiance, which is living illegally in London and put his address in Tirana. I told them the truth about his illegal status and sent all my evidence (i only have evidence of is in britiain, not his home country albania) and we got approved, now we are going ahead with the packet 3 stuff. the only thing i am now worried about is getting the police clearance for him as he is still in london until the interview!

Yeah i hope so it does! Although i am contracted for a year which ends in June and by then i hope we will be moving back to the states TOGETHER!!

Thanks for the help and support.

Just to clarify as well, if anyone can give some more help, I am fresh out of university - well since 2006. After graduating i did some traveling, then in January 2007 i worked in London for some overseas experience. In October 2007 i took a teaching job in Amman, Jordan where i will be contracted until june 2008. Long story short, i haven't had the greatest income, nor has it been steady. With a co-sponsor will it be ok? I am so worried about this.

How do we make this mess clear to the immigration people?

Yeah i hope so it does! Although i am contracted for a year which ends in June and by then i hope we will be moving back to the states TOGETHER!!

Thanks for the help and support.

I am currently in Amman, Jordan teaching at an American school. In terms of employment, will it affect my fiance's paperwork because i am not currently working in America?? Our petition has been approved, we are just waiting for the other documents. Just to clarify, i am the American citizen in the relationship, and my fiance is the beneficiary.

Thanks for the help.

Thanks for all the replies. The problem is, and i have to be frank, that my fiance cannot risk going back home to albania with no way out just yet. We are definitely not getting married for the sake of him getting legal status, he could have done that with someone british a long time ago. We met unexpectedly 3 years ago and i have spent 1.5 years of that physically with him. He has a good job in the UK, a house that we are building in albania that is nearly finished - but no savings. WE will live a poor decrpid life in a beautiful new house with no money! If he gives it up and goes back home and he gets denied the K1, it would be so difficult for him/us to make a living, and we would have to marry there and start the ever-so-hard process of the other visa. I want to be extra sure that we can spot hiccups and potential issues BEFORE he leaves for albania. And i want us to be ultra prepared for the interview. With an experienced lawyer i think this can be more likely. I will only pick the lawyer if he has dealt with such a case before. The two firms I called today weren't sure of the situation (to my surprise). I am calling around and explaining it to find a lawyer who has dealt with this. I tried to think up stories we could say but he sensibly told me that he doesn't want anymore lies with immigration. We want to be honest and hopefully they will be nice!!!

John roth seems quite legit, right??

All of this is so hard, it is nice to talk to those who understand and are not judgemental!

I have decided to go with hiring a lawyer, although it is so costly and i feel quite suspicious everytime i speak to one. However, i feel my case is complicated as my fiance is illegal in the country i met him in (UK) - illegal from beginning to end (got smuggled in the back of a lorry type of illegal, fake documents - the whole shebang). My initial consultations with attorneys seemed to me that his status in another country doesn't really matter, especially if he will be doing the interview in his native country, but i still think that gathering the necessary information might be tricky because of his status in the UK. Our relationship has been going on and strong for three years, so there is no problem proving it. The problem is that it occured in a country he was staying illegally. And we plan on being completely honest with all of this information during the process, so i would prefer to have the backing of someone who at least knows better than me.

Anybody have any comments? Lawyer or no lawyer? any good ones to recommend? I might be going with John F Roth http://www.arctec.com/. $1800 (expensive!) but he refunds your money if you dont get the visa (provided you were up front and legitimate with all the information) which i believe is a good sign and deal, especially since he is about 2x as expensive as anybody else.

glad to see that there are others in my situation. My fiance is illegal in the UK, and i met him there. I have been contemplating the whole process and if this would be a problem, but I have concluded that if we are honest during the whole thing, it will be ok because there is no question to the legitimacy of our relationship, we have been together for three years. and if it was a marriage for convieniece thing, he would have been better off marrying an English person - i hope this line of reasoning will work!

Anyway how do you obtain a police report for someone who supposedly hasn't existed in the country that they are living in illegally? That's my question.

Background info:

-My fiance has been living in Italy with an expired work visa for the past three years

-He is a citizen of Albania

-We met in Italy last summer, at which time his visa had already expired

My question is whether or not I have enough evidence to prove that HE was still in Italy at the time that we met (last summer). I have tons of evidence to prove that I was in Italy at that time (and three times since), but I want to make sure that they know HE was also there. It is a bit difficult due to his status (I can't show work records, checks, bank statements, etc)

In my I-129F (which I have not mailed yet) I have made an attachment where I admit honestly and openly that he had overstayed his work visa in Italy. I spoke to an immigration officer, and she said that they are not concerned with visas issued outside the US. She said that overstaying the visa in Italy would not affect whether or not our petition is accepted. Basically I need to prove that he didnt leave Italy when his visa expired in 2004. I need to prove that he is still in Italy.

Proof of Having Met in Person Within 2 Years (foreign fiance):

-copy of entire Albanian passport

------includes Italian work visa issued in Sept 2004, good for three months

------includes copy of exit stamp from Durres, Albania. He was not stamped when he came into Italy, I am not sure why. There is no other stamps present on his passport anywhere.

-copies of letters addressed to my fiance at his current address in Italy

-copies of 3 phone bills that show incoming calls from my fiance using his current telephone number in Italy (these date throughout the past year)

-various photos of us together

-train tickets and hotel reciept from one of our trips together (no names on them though)

I have made an attachment stating the following:

Since I have copied his entire passport, and there is only one stamp on there (an exit stamp from Albania), then this proves that he is still in Italy, and never left. The fact that the letters show an Italian address and the phone bills show an Italian phone number also prove that he is, in fact, still in Italy (Not to mention the fact that Packet 3 will be sent there)

Do you think they will go for this? Or do I have to think of some other ideas? If you dont think they will believe me, what other evidence could I submit, keeping in mind that my fiance is not legally residing in Italy (he doesnt have housing records, phone records, etc in his name)

I would appreciate any input that you may have concerning my situation, thanks to you all and best wishes!

I have the same exact issues, except my situation occured in the UK. My fiance has overstayed his visa in the UK and it has totally discouraged me from applying for the K-1 because of the perceived complications. Is the only option for us to be together Albania? I hope not.