goose182

All you're doing here is bending all of us out of shape.

And that of course was my intention from the beginning!!

Cheers to those that were actually trying to help and not preaching at me about their ideas of how my marriage should be. I thought that it might be a black or white answer but it turns out it couldn't have been more grey...so my appologies for that.

Is me saying Mods please close this thread right here sufficient (if it is please proceed) or do I need to send a PM?

M.

I have friends who are in managerial roles in the company I work for.... he lives in Texas, she lives in Michigan. They've been making a long distance marriage work for the better part of 8 years now. Granted, they do not have immigration ####### to deal with, but their marriage (with kids) is happy and healthy.... going on 20 years... Many married couples deal with separation for job opportunities, higher education, etc... doesn't mean their marriages mean anything less to them than those who never leave each other's sides. A couple has to do what's best for them (and their children) and that definition of what's 'best' is a very personal one.

Let's stick to discussing red flags and how to minimize those, without suggesting fraud, and leave the judgments of what's right/wrong out of the equation.

Jen

Thanks for your support Jen!!!

I think you are worrying too much (about USCIS).

You have to have all your mail and documentation sent to your wife's address and you can get a short term lease for yourself. Ask around, you may be able to find a month-to-month accommodation, or somebody traveling, who needs/wants a house-sitter for several months (that's even better option, try Craig's list to find a place).

Intended address on I-130 is not a serious promise. My husband moved from one rental apartment to another during NVC stage. So what. I just filed a change of address form with USCIS.

As for living with your spouse - well, sometimes people live in two places at once. It happens. I live in France and in US at the same time. I have two residences. I have my reasons, but this is also a situation that will only several months. You can live in two residences in the same city. Who is going to check where you spend the night?

I think your consideration for your wife's feelings is admirable.

Rika

This is helpful...and I suppose you're right I am just worrying too much about USCIS. As long as I can prove the ongoing relationship and the finances - which I can - I should be fine. Thanks for your contributions and for setting my mind at ease Rika...much appreciated!!

I think I need to reframe this request for information because people are focusing on the wrong details.

The only reason I asked the questions that I did is because simply, I hate seeing things not work out for people because of mistakes!

I hope that you work everything out.

Happiness and luck to you Mike!!!!

Thanks Laura. That remark wasn't directed at you but more to the thread as a whole. I appreciate your suggestions.

Well, I kind of see the point. It is very stressful to move to another country all by itself.

But, in the end, it was what you stated you were going to do by marrying and then filing K-3.

Thanks for your reply. I suppose I see it a little differently. My marriage to my wife was me making a promise to love & honor our relationship for the rest of my life. The filing of the K-3 certainly indicates my desire to come to the US and be with her. It's obviously best if we can live together straight away, but if our chances of success would be dramatically improved if we lived under different roofs for a month, shouldn't I do that? Shouldn't the most important thing be the marriage itself? It is to me and I'll do whatever I can to improve our chances - as long as it doesn't jeopardize my visa altogether...which brings us back to why I posted here in the first place.

Mike...hi

You are from Canada, no?

I suggest going down and visiting her a few times before you are issued your visa.

Like the others, it seems very odd that you wouldn't want to live with your own wife after moving down there.

Didn't you know her that well when you got married?

Believe me, there are couples that would kill to be as close to the U.S. as us Canadians.....take a trip down there or have her come up and spend some more time together....you are married!!!!

You have to prove that you have an ongoing relationship at the interview....a few more trips would help support that evidence.

I wish you the best.

Hi Laura. From Canada yes...but currently living in London, England. We have visited each other a half dozen times over the last 15ish months and I intend to visit again in a few months. We were married after being together for a little over 2 years. Proving the ongoing relationship will not be a problem. Proving a co-mingling of finances once I arrive will not be a problem. Thanks for your reply and all the best to you as well.

I think I need to reframe this request for information because people are focusing on the wrong details.

It is definitely a red flag.

However, this is a quote I came across, which may help your situation:-

Examiners usually want to see persuasive documentary evidence that the couple has been living together since getting married (or they have a very good reason for living apart), and that they have commingled their financial affairs.

Whether USCIS will see "taking things slowly" as a "very good reason for living apart" would be up to the interviewing officer.

If you think you can sufficiently prove the co-mingling of finances etc without living together then, yes, it is possible. If you are intending to have completely separate lives, other than "dating", that will be an issue for you.

It seems to me that if this was the route you were planning to take, a fiance visa would have been the better option as it allows for this.

That's a great quote. Thank you for adding that! We intend to co-mingle our finances completely. I'll be contributing to her mortgage payments and bills even if I wind up having another residence. We certainly won't be having separate lives and I regret adding that sentence about "dating" as it has obviously been misconstrued. In all honesty, even if the separate residence does happen, we'll most likely be fully living together inside of a month...I just want to make sure that that one month won't screw up my AOS later on.

Thanks for the help and best of luck on your London interview in a few days!

sorry to be judgemental, but this situation is a red flag all around.

as to your question about "is there any policy that says that I must live with my wife...", see the definition of the word 'marriage' on wikipedia, a dictionary or something similar. the meaning is inherent in the word and does not require US immigration interpretation.

Marriage or wedlock is an interpersonal relationship (usually intimate and sexual) with governmental, social, or religious recognition.

I don't see "must occupy the same physical space" anywhere in that definition, but obviously what you're implying is that a marriage can only exist when two people live together. But I'm married now and we're thousands of miles away from one another...how does that factor in? What if, because of work, I had to live separately from my spouse for a few months out of the year...would that immediately nullify our marriage? What if a family member got sick and I had to go home for several months...same thing?

In my experience, everything is open to the interpretation of US Immigration.

...we sure have some weird couples over here...

This judgment was unnecessary. Every couple has to define what their marriage relationship is going to be.... just because you have one way of looking at things does not make it the right way, or the only way...

I personally applaud the OP for considering his wife's feelings and lifestyle... perhaps easing into being together full time is the best way for them to ensure a successful start. How can anyone here judge that, or question why he got married in the first place? All he was asking was whether it would raise any red flags....

Yes, it might. But they can be mitigated and the situation can be explained.... especially if living apart is only temporary. The use of a single address for all correspondence is definitely something I would advise.

How many couples on here have reported the dissolution of their relationship because the lifestyle change was too abrupt and they could not adjust? At least the OP is considering this.

VJ sheesh.

Thank you!! It would certainly be a temporary situation as you mentioned.

How many times have you visited each other between 10/06 and present? I'm sure it would help if you had proof and can demonstrate the length of your visits.

I'm living in the UK and she's in Arizona so it's been quite costly to get together, but nonetheless I've made 5 trips to see her over the last year and a bit - the most recent one for 5 weeks over Christmas. She's come out to London to visit me once as well.

why did you marry then?

we sure have some weird couples over here

anyway, i guess if you give her address as your own for all effects, who'd know if you are living there or not?

We married because we're in love. Weird to be cautious?? I think couples are weird not to be cautious when it comes to something as important as the success of their marriage.

I agree. Definately suspicous. If you have reservations, then why did you get married?

No disrespect, but it's like putting the cart before the horse.

Sigh...we got married because we love each other. We have reservations about living together straight away because we're human and cutting through this immigration red tape and being apart for so long has been a trying experience for both of us. There have been ups and downs but we want to make it work and we thought that maybe a small transition period would help us avoid any undue stress.

Yes, if you do live separately, you would have to use her address for everything. But at some point, on your AOS forms or at an interview, you would have to lie, which is never good.

Thanks for your responses, I'm not willing to lie on my AOS or at an interview, but if I was in the US for 2 years would they actually want proof of us living together for the entire time or would say the last 18 months suffice?

hmm... i am sorry but is it not what you were supposed to do befor you got married?

How do you want people to believe that the marriage is not fake by living appart? I mean how you guys can be missing each other that much and still wouldn't want to leave together. I sure dont want to judge anybody but the whole thing sounds weired to me but i still wish you good luck!

I really wasn't submitting my questions to be given advice on my relationship...moreso on my VISA...hence posting on VISAjourney.com!

Hi All,

Some background: Married to my wife (she's the USC) in October 2006 (so less than 2 years). I've filled out and submitted both the I-129f and the I-130 applications and they are currently being processed at the CSC.

On to the reason for this topic: After I arrive on my K3 visa, is there any policy that says that I must live with my wife in the US for the duration of my stay in order to retain my visa status?

It seems odd I'm sure, but we want to transition slowly into living together after such a long time apart by starting with just being in the same city and...well...dating each other again I guess you could say. She has a full time job and does 60 hours of coursework/class getting her masters on top of that and isn't sure that she can deal with the stress of me just immediately moving in to her house after such a long separation. We miss each other very much of course, but we don't want to rush into this as it's a very big step. We have lived together before briefly, but it seems like so long ago that we want to ease back into it...

So I was wondering if I'd send up any red flags if I was to rent an apartment for the first 6 months of my stay on my K3? Is there any policy that says that we must reside at the same address for the entire time or risk termination of my visa?

Thanks for any help you can provide.

Mike