Aurora NY

hello Everyone.. Thanks for all your comments, advices, support..

Well, we talked. We are going to separate, eventually divorce. Facts as follows:

Leaving some lies behind and because I love him, I insisted in make this marriage works. Offered my help, even financially. He is weak (or I dont find the word).. He opened his heart, some hours of hard drama, and asked me to leave him. He says, he is realizing his past is such a mess, and now, after living together in the US, he feel guilty, he can't made me happy.

Yeah. It hurt me.. a Lot.. He confessed the Ex is taking the child support debt off him if he does what she "needs" for the kids. ??!! And I wonder myself! Did I really get married with this man!????? Im angry, sad, I feel sorry !

So, yeah.. what is next is moving from this house, start again. We barely mentioned the AOS process, but he told me, "If you want it, you got it.. dont worry about it, Im not filing divorce until you do, now or in years":..

It has been hard, but we are still friends, we still sleep together, we still have dinner together. What is funny is, now while we have a conversation during dinner, we talk about "what are you planning to do, when you wanna live now, are you going to tell your family, how you see yourself without me.." wow! before we used to talk about our future together..

And for those playing the devil's advocate:

You are right "mermaid". Some of his Child Support was a direct consequence of his stay abroad with me. While in my country, even my brother offered help financially, he always said everything was ok, child support thing was automatically paid, deducted from a bank account. And Yes, he accepted he was outside US trying to forget his past, dues, problems, etc..Obviously now I can see it clear as crystal.

If you arrived in the USA in Feb 2007 on a K-1, how did he satisfy USCIS Affidavit of Support issues, if he lived with you for 3 years in your country? And if he did submit an I-134, how did he resolve the domicile issue? Surely, the I-134 was a tip-off to his financial situation, no?

We submitted the affidavit of course. Any expense and affidavits and financial stuff for the process has been made with my money. The domicile issue was never a problem because he owns an apartment in the US, so almost all correspondence was sent to the US address, then via fedEx to my home.

Sorry friends from VJ!

Actually writing here was a kind of relief. If you have recomendations on how get over a situation like this, please advice! any books? websites? a way to get counseling?

and for those passing thru a separation, divorce or just being frustrated and disappointed.. Good luck and let's be strong.

Hello Tiburon, ..I will answer your questions.

Yeah, It is not that he owes me an immigration benefit. People who falls in love with foreigners are really paranoic about this issue. Many people have thoughts of "she or he only wants me because of the immigration thing".. The truth is, if a US citizen falls in love with a person from a different country, the relationship includes immigration procedures. There is no other way.

In my case, I mentioned "at least he owes me that" because I left my entire life behind. a brilliant carreer, my masters degree, family, friends, even my dog! That was a process of changing my mind, my goals, my future. And after a posible breakup, I want to keep going. With him or without him.

Plus I've lived in New York before I knew my husband and its a city that I love.

three...why do you want to remain here?. .. I like the city, what it has to offer. I want a carrer here.

Four...good luck. I hope you can organize your life. Thanks :-)

Five...if you were happy in your country, why not return? .. Yeah. I was happy. But now I want to have the choice. I would like to stay for a few years at least.

Six...the fact that he wants to cheat on his debts concerning his children speaks volumes about the sort of person he is. Is this the sort of person you want as a spouse? Yor are right.. It hurts, but its real.

Sleeping at his exes!!!??? Wake up and smell the coffee! Well, if you are a man I know you can swear what is really happening. Sometimes a woman tries to resist..

Yes it is possible he was picked up on a warrant for any number of reasons. If it was child support you can bet he came up with money from somewhere.

Finally...get some counsiling legal and social. I will. now im focused on how to get rid of my pain, actually. it will be a process. Nothing is forever. Tonight when he gets home from work he is gonna receive a bomb.

Good Luck,

Thanks steven n jinky..

It is really hard when your heart tells you something, but your minds disagrees..Im trying to find the middle, maybe If Im away for some weeks, months..

Hello Everyone..

I got here on Feb -K1 visa- We got married Feb too. My husband is driving me crazy.

He lived with me in my country for 3 yrs.. We were totally happy. I came for the first time to know his home, his life, and that was disappointing.

How can someone hide his "real you"!!???

• He has messed up all posible things in his past.
  
• He has huge Child support debts, and just got a warrant.
  
• Has a tremendous debt from College, he never paid.. everyone is behind him!
  
• he does not want to work formally, so they dont deduct the child support thing.. he is only in "gigs".
  
• Of course, have been days we have no money not even to pay phone, food.
  
• He spends 2 nights average sleeping at his EX's place (because of
  

his kids, he said)

Im really tired of this. He keeps swearing he loves me and cry and stuff.. And.. As many women, in love, I supported him, I gave him trust, I tried to help him to realize what he is doing the wrong way.. to realize his kids need him, I need him, etc..

And just today he came back home from his EX;s after 4 days.. I did not receive not even a single call, mail.. He really gave me a hard time..

He says he was locked up for this warrant thing when an officer in the train station asked him for his ID!!? Is this stupidity possible? someone experienced with child support do know about it?

Im completly DONE with this. I decided to leave him in a few days. Im planning on talking to him and ask him not to stop my immigration process. at least he owes me that. Im hating him right know..but I think is it better, leave him cordially, not friends but niether enemies..

What you think? Maybe some of you, with a clearest mind than mine, have a different point of view..

-What are my chances if we separate and just go back for the interview?

-If he receives an RFE or anything, could I respond from another state than ours?

:-)

A. from New York