francis

How Will You Be Remembered?

Cliff Young

Contributing Writer

As another birthday passes and the candles on my cake resemble a small grease fire on the stove, it's hard not to wonder what tomorrow (and the Lord) holds for me.

I personally struggle with questions about what I¡ve been able to accomplish, who I¡ve been able to impact, and whether or not my life has been a success. I speculate where I may be in five or ten years, whether I have a family or not, and what my life may be like.

I think about the many people who have been in my life and have since passed on ¨C my father, my brother's father-in-law, my grandparents, my aunt, a former roommate, friends, instructors, former classmates. I recall things that we did together, discussions that we had, and lessons that they taught me. I remember them most for the blessings that they¡¯ve been to me.

With these questions and thoughts, I have to ask myself, What will I be remembered for? What kind of legacy will I leave behind? Do I even matter?

Some people these days seem to strive for that memorable moment through outrageous behavior, verbal statements, or reality show¡± experience. It seems that musicians, athletes, and actors have become influential role models whom people are emulating in their dress, action and personality. In many ways, it appears that society has lost its focus and its way.

We would all do well to look toward the examples of some of the "major palyers" in the Bible, who I have to believe had similar questions and struggles during their lifetimes:

Moses ¨C led his people out of Egypt, wandered in the desert for forty years, and then received his personal commission from God.

Joseph ¨C thrown into a ditch by family, left for dead, but became the second most powerful man in Egypt.

David ¨C born deficient in size, but slain the giant Goliath, confronted by sin, confessed, humbled himself, and led a nation.

Solomon ¨C a man of honor and riches, contributed to the destruction of a nation, but left us with a book of wisdom.

All of these men exhibited determination, belief in God, and faith, but in some ways it's difficult for me to relate to them personally. Their callings and personas are greater than anything that I could ever imagine. Even though they were humbled at different periods in their lifetimes, by challenges and sins that are common to all of us, they seem to be larger than life.

I identify with the more ¡°down to earth¡± characters in the Bible, those who don't have chapters written about them, those who probably don't have any major monuments honoring them, those who just listened and followed the Lord. I have always liked these ¡°behind the scenes type of guys, the underdogs in some ways, because that's who I relate to, and whose qualities I admire.

Phillip (the evangelist) ¨C eager to share the gospel (with an Ethiopian eunuch) ¨C Acts 8:26-40

Boaz ¨C successful businessman, generous and compassionate (to the servant girl) Ruth ¨C Ruth 3

Elisha ¨C a good friend, student and servant (to Elijah) ¨C 2 Kings 2

Joseph of Arimathea ¨C caretaker (of Jesus body) ¨C Luke 23:50-5)

Andrew, Bartholomew, Philip ¨C disciples (of Jesus) ¨C Mark 4:18

A few things can be said about these men: they were obedient, they followed the Lord, they loved people around them and they didn't look for any recognition or personal gain. Whether married or single, they didn't seem to let that become an issue in their service to Christ.

But with the consistent themes throughout the Bible of family, family lines, father-son relationships, family curses, legacies, etc., I must admit that sometimes I feel, as a single adult (without children), that my life hasn¡¯t begun and won¡¯t matter until I marry. And you know what? That has to be the biggest lie that the enemy is trying to get me to believe. Marital status has nothing to do with God¡¯s ability to use you and me and to impact people.

Nichole Nordeman talks about making an impact like this in the chorus of her song, "Legacy" ¨C

I want to leave a legacy

How will they remember me?

Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough

To make a mark on things?

A legacy is all about relationships. It starts with our relationship with God, then with our family, then with our church family, and then with people throughout the world. THAT is our calling. THAT is where we need to be investing our time right now rather than worrying about something down the road that may or may not happen. THAT is the question we should all be asking ourselves each and every day.

Am I choosing to love others? Am I pointing others to the Lord? Am I living every day in a manner that exemplifies Christ?

Sure, I have the same what if as many singles do: What if I don't marry? What if I never have kids?What if I don¡¯t have a big house? What if I end up old and alone?

"I once thought all these things were so very important, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I may have Christ and become one with him." ¨C Philippians 3:7-9

We can spend our time worrying about things that may or may not happen, or we can utilize our time to make things happen. We can choose to love and to share Christ during our lifetime or live our lives only for ourselves.

"My future is in your hands." ¨C Psalm 31:15

"Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us." ¨C Colossians 3:11

For me, I don¡¯t need to be known for a reality show moment, some newsworthy story, some amazing statistic or even having an incredible family. I just want to be remembered as a faithful servant of God who chose to love others, share Jesus love and lived a life of excellence. That is what I want for my legacy.

What will yours be?

Hi Ladies,

I enjoyed reading all the things that was posted here. Firstly, let me encourage my sister with the word of God. The bible asked us to bear one another burden. The bible says that whoever that is spiritual let him or her restore the other person in the spirit of meekness. I don't encourage sin. I felt so bad to hear what your husband is doing. I want to encourage you and ask you to take it to God in prayer. Pray and fight for his soul and not only for your marriage. Sometimes we want to see our husband or wife change or try to do it by ourselves. It's only God that can change a person. The parable of the prodigal son will be a good example here. This young man had everything as you all has provided for your husband on their arrival and only to see the dark side of the man. The prodigal son father didn't try to change him but rather he gave him what belongs to him and he wasted it and then he came to his senses. That was God there working in this young man's life at his lowest point. Then when he came home he was already changed by God. The only thing that the father did was to welcome him.

Let God change the man's heart then you will see a changed person. There are a lot of temptations here in the States for men. Lets be real.

1. How many marriages are having problems here in the States?

2. What's the rate of international marriage here in the State?

3.Why are some of the ladies turning outside the States for a genuine love and a lasting relationship?

I'm really tired now because of my work schedule. I will answer all these questions and I will begin to unmask all the fraud, lies and games in order to come to the States and get Green Card by some African men.

Is there any answer to all the difficults in marriage and inter cultural marriage? The answer is yes. God is the answer. I will write soon and help the ladies to check the man that they are trying to bring over here. I'm tired of all this bad stories from my African brothers. I'm an African born and raised in Nigeria. I have lived in almost all the parts or tribes in Nigeria. I understand my people and as a man I will give you ladies the secret keys that unlock a true love and a fake one. I will help some of you ladies to check your hearts, motives and help you come up with a real thing when dealing with any African man.

As a disciple of Jesus Christ, it is my responsibility to help you ladies avoid some traps and help those who are in it to overcome every challenges or difficults and hurts.

Once again there are real people out there. My wife will never regret getting married to me. I told her the first time that I met her that she is bless. I know my heart and I am 100% committed to my wife, kids and marriage. I put God first in my life and marriage before my wife or any other thing. This is the only key that I will share today. If a man is not 100% committed to God he will not be committed to you either.

Keep your eyes out here for my coming post on this site. It's time for a godly man to stand out and defend other people that are real.

May you all abide and continue in God's Love

Yours in the Lord Blessing

Brother Francis

Welcome chinemeze.

It's a blessing to be on this site. The Bible states that we should seek after wisdom more than silver or gold why? The book of Proverbs is full of wisdom. So as you are on this site seek wisdom and understanding and God will grant it to you, because He asked us in James 1 vs 5 to seek of wisdom.

God will open doors for your family to join soon in Jesus Name, Amen.

God bless

Bre Francis

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! It's truely a blessing to have your husband or wife around you. God is faithful. I would advice you to read my post on understanding Africa men.

It's only a responsible man that will show you that he wants to help. So be happy when you have a husband that have that attitude.

God bless your family and your baby. Remain in His love.

Yours in the Lord

Brother Francis

Congratulations and God Bless you both. I would recommend JFK, because I used it. It took me 8mins to get through the immigration. I did DCF, so I don't know so much about fiancée visa, but one thing I will advice you to use direct flight to avoid stories.

Remain bless

congratulations and God Bless you both.

Hi Everyone,

It's always a blessing to be able to share with people and to help others to understand the opposite sex. I enjoy most of the things that I read at this forum. Now, I think that it is time that an African man who is not an American lady steps in and clear some things here.

I'm a strong Christian and a discipline of Jesus Christ. I'm married to an American lady close to four years now with two kids, a boy and a girl. My son is 2 years old and my daughter is 7 months old. We are both committed Christian and love the Lord with all our hearts. Now, that we have been married four years with two kids and we just came to the States on July 1 2007. We have lived in Turkey, Nigeria and China before we came to the States. I can give some of you ladies advice and try to help you to understand us men from Africa.

I will start this by saying that every man love to be the head of his family from the creation that was how God created and made things to be. Now, that we the men from Africa are coming to the States to live with our loved wives and to be subjected to a lady who will now tell you what to do, when to do it and how you should be doing things. Let's put ourselves in their shoes. I'm living here with no friends, family members and in a new and unfamiliar environment. Now, I have to be depending on my wife for everything and especially when she is the one working and paying for everything. It's not an "EGO THING" like some people will view it as, but lets look at the bible and see that God created the man to take care of his wife. So, you ladies firstly it would be hard on every man not only Africa men but to every responsible man.

I'm living with my father and mother in-law in the same house with my family. Think about this situation and how hard it will be on me as a man, living with my in-law and they are providing us with everything that we need. I sometimes feel bad about the way things are and at the same time thank God that we have a place to stay.

The first time we came, I have to stay at home and wait for my Green Card then my SSN and then I got my driving License. I got all these things under two months and then got a job. I have to adjust to the fact that I am not in my country where I was born and used to the ways things are being done and now I am living with my in-laws. Sometimes I get upset with little things and my in-laws will be asking me are you happy and all those things. I have lived on my own for more than 14 years before I met my wife and now situation have turned me into a boy again and not only that but when you are adjusting with your family I most be real it is hard to take sometimes. Even my wife will lose it sometime, because her parents want us to be kids again.

So, lets get back to the topic. Lets the ladies out there put themselves in your husband’s shoes. If you are to leave the States and live in Africa and doesn't have friends and families there and have to adjust to the live there and people it would be hard on you and it was hard on my wife when we lived in Nigeria for just 10 months. Then here in the States you can't drive because you do not have license or car and there is not a good transportation system here, so most times you are at home sitting down. I did that with my family and out of experience it will be hard on any man and especially from Africa. That's why he might be doing some things that you might not understand because the situation is out of his control. Then when you don't watch what you say, he might respond in the way that will suppress or upset you.

When you are dealing with an African man that it adjusting keep these things in your mind:

1. He is adjusting and living in an unfamiliar environment.

2. The situation that he finds in himself into is totally out of his control.

3. Men never want to depend on women.

4. Men will always like to be a man in the house and not a boy (unless you married a boy).

5. When a man doesn't work and sits down at home, it makes him feel worth less.

6. Men like to know that they are in control and not their wives and that they are making some contribution in the family.

Understanding men will be challenging sometime, but understand that we are made differently by God and we need to understand that two people from two different culture and family background will have a lot of things to overcome. Marriage is for men and ladies and not for boys and girls. It's endurance and patience that separates a man from a boy or a lady from a girl.

Then as a child of God, He will give you what it takes to overcome every challenge that comes to your family and marriage. God is the only that we turn to for help. We pray and do our marriage bible study together. Then as a man God call us to be servants in our home and most African men will never understand this and trying to adjust to what we saw from our parents and culture all our lives growing up will be challenging, so changing it will require handwork and God. That's why the bible tells us to renew our mind in Roman 12 vs. 1 and 2. When we give our lives to Christ then we need to allow God's word to transform our thinking. Most African man thinks that I am crazy the way I look after my kids and my wife. I don't follow the world’s standard; I follow the word of God. It's the foundation of our marriage.

I have said so must, but I will continue to put in my contribution and offer any help or counseling when it is required. My yahoo chat ad is okeybosah2ng@yahoo.com. I can always answer any question and give my advice in any situation that I can.

Thanks to all of you ladies out there, know that God and His word is our strength and our hope and wisdom. Lets keep one another in our prayers and be there for each other.

God bless

Yours in the Lord

Francis

Hi,

I want to thank you all for your input. I really appreciate it.

Remain bless,

Francis

Hello,

As regards to the type of visa that I came with, it is IR1 visa. I have being in the States for two weeks now. I would like to know how long that it takes?

Thanks for your input.

Francis

Hi everyone,

I have being in the States for two weeks now. I want to ask how long it takes to get the Green card and SSN?

Thanks for your input.

Francis