ocd

i'm kind of in a bind too.

i just filed for removal of condition late june. my husband got up and decided he needs to start somewhere new to figure out himself and moved to texas in early june, i couldn't go due to academic reasons as well.

we are not angry at each other, but we are not talking productively either. all of our friends think he's acting irrationally.

we kind of agreed that we'll both move to seattle next summer, but meanwhile....

he wouldn't ever say anything bad in front of the immigration officer, but i am frustrated with his behavior as well as our inability to communicate effectively right now. i am worried about our future.

sigh--- i work 40 hours and go to school full time. i'm so tired.

oh she said didn't know her references .. she didn't know her aunt??? how could she not know her aunt..

that is ridiculous.

actually i know a girl who married a marine.

she was sexually and physically abused by her husband. he is extremely controlling.

he turned around and says she married him for a greencard, which isn't true at all

she moved back to france and then india (she's french indian) with her daughter. i guess she's happy.

but some people do not have any integrity.

Wow, I really don't think Yodrak was insulting you or your writing skills. I thought the post was meant to defend you on marrying soley for a greencard by saying you were upset and couldn't fully put what you felt into words. No need to question how others are contributing to the world.

I hope things work out with your husband. Have you tried contacting him since he left?

i didn't question how others are contributing. it was a statement of hope. i hope "you", meaning everybody, is trying.

what part of being high school sweethearts do people not understand? what part of a 6-year relationship indicate that he married me "SOLELY" for a greencard? oh btw, he asked me to marry him.

we dated 3 years and have been married for 3. we lived together for the past 3 years as a married couple.

we didn't have 100 grand saved up but rushing a bit is a mutual choice.

if rushing marriage is agaisnt the law, then perhaps all las vegas chapels should be abolished.\

i've talked him since last week, but we are all talking, not hearing.

i'm going to see him in a week or two, but i think he's running away from me or running towards someone else.

perhaps he's gay.

I don't write particularily well.

However, drawing a direct relationship between one's literary ability with one's cognitive ability is a fallacy.

Anybody who fails to compose proper English essay are deemed incompetent in literacy, perhaps intelligence by relation? This perception is a precise demonstration of ethnocentrism. How about rest of the world beyond the English speaking population?

I am making an assumption that you are equating "literacy" with "intelligence" here. Perhaps my assumption is erroneous. I apologize if it is.

Freaking out while writing something does not help either.

I tend to write on this board when I am freaking out about.. something.

Really, don't worry so much about my academic life.

I graduated from a very good university sum cum laude.

I am doing what I can to be helpful to this world. I hope you do your part too.

But a bit worrying for someone who seems to be in the Medical field.

Given the level of literacy demonstrated in ocd's post I would not trust a literal interpretation of what she has written. VJ is full of posts by very literate people who nevertheless find it difficult write words that accurately describe what they are thinking.

Yodrak

True, but still in my eyes not a reason to marry

Atleast she admitted to "needing" the greencard, most wont be that bluntly honest

"we are really young but i really needed a green card when we were 21 we took a leap"

Wow great reason to marry.

It wasn't the only reason, but counted about 10%.

I wasn't a bride shipped from a mystic land.

We went to the same middle school, same high school, and the same college.

We were high school sweethearts and I thought he was cute when I was 13 years old.

Are we romantic enough yet?

Yes, not all the pieces were there when we got married. We didn't have a downpayment, or our college degrees yet, or a law degree, or a MD, but I thought we could make those things together.

On another note, pure romantic love is total b.s anyways. It is a completely western concept to begin with. It is also invented within the last several centuries, a short period relative to human history.

People get married for different reasons. There are golddiggers, hopless romantics, practical partners, and many who are just comfortable together. Our society deems those marriages based on nothing but romantic love as the most desirable type. We all want fake love. The kind of fake love that is portrayed in the media: Sid and Nancy, John Cusack, Sex and the City...They are fake. (Referenc to book: Sex, drugs and coco puffs)

I love him and I am still committed to him. I did need a greencard as well.

I am just venting and I am deeply concerned with his sudden change of attitude in the recent month.

This is not targeted at you in particular. It is just we've been with each other for a long time. We have grown stronger together. Having the whole thing falling into shambles is making me despair.

\

True, but still in my eyes not a reason to marry

I am speaking from my perspective since I do not dare to speculate about his.

Objectivity was never suggested since I am talking about me. What is wrong with venting?

we've had a lot of good times in the past 3 years plus the 3 years we dated.

we are really young but i really needed a green card when we were 21 we took a leap.

i've lived in america for ten plus years and we met when we were preteens.. PRETEENS.

i'm so angry that he has trouble finishing college while scored 1430 on the SAT. why can't he do something productive beyond being emo.

i thought he had ambition and potential.. he is so smart, but has no guts.. oh god.. i'm really wondering if i was totally wrong.

he insists on moving to another state on a whim, cutting college, just to "do something else", while i must stay and complete my premed requirements, work at a job that i tried so hard to get, at a top ranked national university based medical center. i have these research projects that could potentially be published. i just can't understand why does he HAVE to move to another state. why can't he just stick around another 2 years and finish up his bachelors, i'll be done with mcat, then we can move together. i was trying so hard to do so well so i have choices when it comes to med school, so i can have a choice close to where he wants to live...

we don't have the kind of money to pay for outta state tuition else where anyways....

i filed for lifting my conditional residency last week, but he actually moved away by himself and got a new job the same week, i didn't even get our bank statement from the account that was mostly used by him this week.. it usually comes at this time.... i can't believe it. he changed his mailing address without telling me....

he runs away from everything!!

i also began to question his sexual orientation shortly ago.....

this whole thing is so miserable right now. i have to think about it about every hour at least once...

I, I, I, Me, me me........Do you see a pattern here? You had one good thing to say about HIM (bolded in red)! Dunno but maybe the problem isn't as difficult as you see it, a bit one-sided perhaps.

we've had a lot of good times in the past 3 years plus the 3 years we dated.

we are really young but i really needed a green card when we were 21 we took a leap.

i've lived in america for ten plus years and we met when we were preteens.. PRETEENS.

i'm so angry that he has trouble finishing college while scored 1430 on the SAT. why can't he do something productive beyond being emo.

i thought he had ambition and potential.. he is so smart, but has no guts.. oh god.. i'm really wondering if i was totally wrong.

he insists on moving to another state on a whim, cutting college, just to "do something else", while i must stay and complete my premed requirements, work at a job that i tried so hard to get, at a top ranked national university based medical center. i have these research projects that could potentially be published. i just can't understand why does he HAVE to move to another state. why can't he just stick around another 2 years and finish up his bachelors, i'll be done with mcat, then we can move together. i was trying so hard to do so well so i have choices when it comes to med school, so i can have a choice close to where he wants to live...

we don't have the kind of money to pay for outta state tuition else where anyways....

i filed for lifting my conditional residency last week, but he actually moved away by himself and got a new job the same week, i didn't even get our bank statement from the account that was mostly used by him this week.. it usually comes at this time.... i can't believe it. he changed his mailing address without telling me....

he runs away from everything!!

i also began to question his sexual orientation shortly ago.....

this whole thing is so miserable right now. i have to think about it about every hour at least once...

i mailed my packet postal express on wed. that big blue envelope, from los angeles, ca, the postal joint people said it'll be in laguna beach, ca on thursday, but i'm not entirely sure where i put my shipping slip as i packed everything and was moving, so i can't track it now..

i think i know which jacket the slip is in but i don't have it now...

i've been checking my mailbox obsessively for the past.. oh 3 days for a receipt letter, as well as my bank website to see if the check is cashed.

i'm just being paranoid, right? they can't send a receipt that soon yet....

i hate myself for misplacing the tracking slip....

i've been hating myself for a number of things lately.. just let me have my perm greencard so i can be a doctor!!!

AHHHAHHH. are they serious???

Dec. 2006?

gee, by the time i get my 10 year card i'd be ready to apply for citizenship already....

NSC: October 13, 2006

VSC: December 01, 2006

TSC: December 14, 2006

CSC: December 14, 2006

Of course, my service center is still 2 months behind!!!!!

Still a month to wait for me.........

I have about 35 more days until my greencard expires.

I know i should've done this stuff wayy earlier, but we've been so wrapped up with professional school apps, school, graduation.. yuck!@@

so.. now i got everything ready.

i'm not totally satisified with my list because i didn't collect stuff very much in the last two years, got too busy with school, didn't spend as much time as we used to, trying to get into friggin med school, etc.

i just sort of grabbed whatever i found around the house.

we also don't have pictures because our camera got soaked 2 xmas ago and we haven't bothered to get a new one yet.

please take a look and let me know ur opinion.

Items included in the packet (in order)

1. Check for application fee

2. I-751, Petition to Remove Conditions on Residence

3. Copy of X Permanent Residence Card

4. Affidavit by my mom.. whom we live with.. she wrote that we live with her and have been since we got married.. etc..

5. Affidavit by x.. friend to both of us, since i was 13 he was 5...

6. Tax return 2005

7. Tax return 2006

8. Checking account: Bank of America, May 2007

9. Checking account: Bank of America, May 2006

10. Checking account: Washington Mutual, March, 2007

11. Tax Statement for year 2006: Bank of America, 2007

12. Certificate of Deposit: Bank of America, December, 2005

13. Certificate of Deposit: Citi Bank, February, 2007

14. Pay stub: ., February, 2007

15. Gas bill: The Gas Company, May, 2007

16. Gas bill: The Gas Company, April, 2007

17. Electricity bill: Southern California Edison, March, 2006

18. Electricity bill: Southern California Edison, April, 2007

19. Electricity bill: Southern California Edison, June, 2007

20. Telephone bill: Verizon, December, 2006

21. Telephone bill: Verizon, January, 2007

22. Telephone bill: Verizon, March, 2007

23..... delete

24. Credit card bill: Chase Amazon Card, April, 2007

25. Shipping slip to him: Amazon, March, 2007

26. Shipping slip to me: Amazon, February, 2007

27. Correspondence: California Student Aid Commission, May, 2007

so i mostly got some bills, some money, bank, c.d related stuff, tax, they are mostly 2007, but some are 2006, just whatever i dug out around our home.

some paper that's not shared name, but these paper were sent to the same address while addressing either him or me.

some of stuff like shared credit cards, drivers license with the same address, netflix subscription, etc we turned all those in during the initial application so i didn't put the same stuff in again., should i??

Thank u~~

Hello, my conditional card expires in July and i'm looking up all the info and doing research, etc.

There are two purposes to this post.

1. inquiring about the processing time for 751 in the CA processing center at Laguna Nigel.

2. soliciting opinions about what i need

my general situation is a bit unique because neither of us is exactly mature or stable.

we are in our early twenties, i'm a college senior..

we have very little money, live at my parents for free - thus no lease, not that much documentation either. i'm basically working my a$$ off to get into med school right now and it's looking pretty good. the interview officer for i485 even made a comment that we are indeed "very young". luckily we've been doing pretty well for the past 3 years since we got married.

so, this is a list of what i have, so please feel free to suggest anything to add on, especially in our situation.

- joint tax returns

- joint utility bills: gas, phone, electricity

- seperate bills showing the same mailing adrress: amazon receipts, seperate cellphone bills (we hate each other's provider).

- driver's licenses with the same address (filed during i485)

- joint bank accounts

- joint invesment account (not very much money, but we do what we can)

- affidavits from my mom, his sister, seveal our friends we've known for many many years even given our youth

- my mom can say that we live there for free

- we don't have joint ownership of his car because... i never drive it and the line at dmv is ridiculous

- we hardly have any pictures since we got married because my camera got soaked and i haven't managed to get a new one until jan. also, i am really busy with school, thus we've both been quiet a bore in the last two years.

there is a sort of artistic half nude picture of me taken from the back in a mirror and you can see him holding the camera in the mirror. it's a bit suggestive.. i'm not sure if i should put it in.

- have seperate credit cards, but same mailing address, because if one overspends we can fight it out and blame it on each other!@@@ ho... ... jk... well kind of serious too.

i think that's the stuff i have for now,

thank you for your help.