wishforhumility

Ok - there is a lot of very comforting information here and I really appreciate it .. It's easy

for me to panic because suddenly I find myself alone - in a very large nation - where I know

nobody. She has everything, and I am just the scum she scraped off from under her foot.

'shrugs.

I started having nightmares about the country I came from again, due to stress, it is the

way it is. I love this country deeply, I loved her also, but still, all this all gives me a little

more time.

So..photos with details on reverse (separate envelope?) and all documents in different

envelopes - so it's easy for them to see what's what, right?

The reason why I am moving back up to the state I ws originally in, in order to get the

affidavits, is because I don't have the phone number or address of one of the people I need

to contact, and don't know anybody up there who could do it for me. The guy in question is

the postman - who's known her all his life.

My employer has been wonderful in transferring me a second time, because of these things,

even though I will be living out of my car for a while, until I can find some accommodation

up there.

Please forgive me for panicking, but frankly - I have no confidence to feel that anybody

would take my side in this. Because of her travelling nurse job, and then her rejection and

complacency toward our marriage, that cut me off socially - from knowing and/or sharing

any of her friends or the same people we know, with her - I've been living as a single man in

the same house with her, for the last 2 years.

We slept in separate beds..she never wanted to talk, to touch, to share or even look at me..

and there was nothing I did or could do so now..living on my own, for the first time - I am

*really* beginning to find out about how life here is - instead of a very sheltered version.

(People are not as they have been painted, to me, I'm finding! ))

No, I posted it there - and somebody moved it. Still no answers.

Why was this moved? .. I reposted in the section that people told me to, now it gets moved.

I don't know how all this works, or where it was moved to. And still nobody answers it. No answers here. I give up.

My wife, now ex-wife, in Arkansas, divorced me July 30, for no clearly stated reason.

I knew she was going to, she gave up on our marriage after the first 6 wonderful months of our

married life. Things changed, and nothing I could try - was accepted, and I tried everything. In

a nutshell - without a long story:

She hated her mother, loved her father. Her father was dying. Two years' into her complacency,

I already knew I would be around until her father died, & then I would be no longer "needed".

As soon as her father died, she put her mother into a nursing home, got control of the house, the

car, the finances, and then I was the last piece of "garbage" that needed disposing of. As I knew

it would happen - to the letter.

She admits to me that she lied to the judge, in giving her "reasons" for the divorce, although to

no-one else. To them I am the scumbag, even though privately, in discussion, she acknowledges

I have done no wrong to her.

The only place I had to go - was to someone who opened their home to me in San Antonio, Texas.

Now I have questions, as I am really getting desperate right now:

* I understand I have to send "proof" that it was a 'bonafide' marriage to Immigration Authorities,

with photo-copies of my divorce decree.

But my one-year green-card runs out next MARCH, & it's my understanding that if they aren't

happy with my "proof" by then, that I will be deported - which also means an automatic 10-year

ban from the United States!

Of the 5 Service Centers that serve the USA, Texas has the *worst* reputation for back-logs,

and if I file with them and they don't do it in time - I get deported!!

I have nowhere to go, this is my home here..and frankly, the place I came from was hell. I will

much prefer to die than to be sent back. I love this country *deeply*.. more than many people

I've met do. (My father served in the US military, although the only proof of that I have, is on

my birth certificate) .. If I get sent back, my life is over.

Question 1:

With only a slim 6-month window (with me heading back to Arkansas - served by the Texas

Service Center, since I'm being asked on the I-751 for 2 people who've known both me and

my ex-wife, who are the only 2 people I know - a church friend there, and the postman who

has known her all his life .. what are my chances of this being successful? - That is, saving

my neck! .. My church friend has only met her once or twice, but knows me very well - and

has no idea what supporting evidence he can provide besides the affidavit that is asked for.

Question 2:

The 'change of address' say I can be deported for failing to provide a change of address

within 10 days of doing so. I didn't know this, and moved down to San Antonio, 1 month ago!

Anyone faced this or have any thoughts please on this?

Question 3:

With the evidence I'm sending in of our marriage - do I include photos? I ask - because none

of the photos I have - are dated at all .. How many should I send? Or in a separate envelope

with a letter explaining each pic, or just by themselves, or what? .. I am clueless here, and

on my own.

Question 4:

Do I have to make photo-copies of my paychecks from my job to prove I am working? .. My

employer will transfer me to any place in the United States, if I have to move to a more

northern state!

I am praying a lot more than I used to. I am very scared.

Thank you in advance, [From the UK]

wishforhumility.

Ok .. it seems I have to go back to Arkansas anyway, which is still served by the Texas

office, since I am being asked for 2 people who have known both me and my now ex-wife

and the only 2 people I know, are a church friend there, and the postman who has known

her all his life.

The forms I have say, I can be deported for failing to provide a change of address within

10 days of doing so. I didn't know this, and moved down to San Antonio, 1 month ago!

Anyone faced this before, or have any thoughts on it?

Question 2:

With the evidence I'm sending in of our marriage - do I include photos? I ask - because

none of the photos I have are dated at all .. so does it matter?

Question 3:

Do I have to make photo-copies of my paychecks from my job to prove I am working?

My employer will transfer me to any place in the United States, if I move to a different

state.

Blessings for peace,

wish.

My wife, now ex-wife, in Arkansas, divorced me July 30, for no clearly stated reason.

I knew she was going to, she gave up on our marriage after the first 6 wonderful months of our

married life. Things changed, and nothing I could try - was accepted, and I tried everything. In

a nutshell - without a long story:

She hated her mother, loved her father. Her father was dying. Two years' into her complacency,

I already knew I would be around until her father died, & then I would be no longer "needed".

As soon as her father died, she put her mother into a nursing home, got control of the house, the

car, the finances, and then I was the last piece of "garbage" that needed disposing of. As I knew

it would happen - to the letter.

She admits to me that she lied to the judge, in giving her "reasons" for the divorce, although to

no-one else. To them I am the scumbag, even though privately, in discussion, she acknowledges

I have done no wrong to her.

The only place I had to go - was to someone who opened their home to me in San Antonio, Texas.

Now I have these questions, as I am really getting desperate right now:

* I understand I have to send "proof" that it was a 'bonafide' marriage to Immigration Authorities,

with photo-copies of my divorce decree.

But my one-year green-card runs out next MARCH, & it's my understanding that if they aren't

happy with my "proof" by then, that I will be deported - which also means an automatic 10-year

ban from the United States!

Question 1:

Of the 5 Immigration Service Centers, that serve the whole of the USA, Texas has the *worst*

reputation for back-logs, and if I file with them - and they don't do it in time - I get deported!!

I have nowhere to go, this is my home here .. and frankly, the place I came from was hell. I

will much prefer to die than to be sent back.

I love this country *deeply* .. more than many of the people here do. (My father served in the

US military, although the only proof of that I have, is on my birth certificate) .. If I get sent back,

my life is over.

With only a slim 6-month window, would it be better for me to head back to Arkansas, or some

other state, so I can be served by the Tennessee office?

Question 2:

Do I have to fill out a 'change of address' form (killing even more of the little time I have left!)

before filing the I-751?

Question 3:

With the evidence I'm sending in of our marriage - do I include photos? I ask - because none of

the photos I have - are dated at all .. so what does it matter?

Question 4:

Do I have to make photo-copies of my paychecks from my job to prove I am working? .. My

employer will transfer me to any place in the United States, if I have to move to a more

northern state!

I am praying a lot more than I used to. I am very scared.

Thank you in advance, [From the UK]

wishforhumility.

>>Sounds like she's making arrangements to attempt to remove you from the home. But

>> that's just my opinion.

You're right, that's exactly what she's trying to do. She says "I just want you out!" .. I say to her,

"You don't just *dump* your family, like yesterday's trash, for the garbage man to collect .. it's

not an automatic 'right' just because you woke up one morning and decided you feel differently!"

She says "I want you to get a job, and just move out." .. like it's so simple. She owns the car.

She has no reason to hate me. Where we live, in Arkansas, we cannot get public transportation

out to where my job will be, should I get it. She would make it so much easier on herself if she

complies .. but logic isn't one of her forte's.

Am I able to get legal-aid help of some kind with this? Anybody know?

Ok .. I got handed legal papers for her initializing the divorce today. She turns round and

tells me frankly "I don't care what happens to you."

I have a job interview tomorrow. This is good news, but since we share access to the car,

I have chosen a shift for when she will be home at night. Question:

What if, after I recieve the decree absolute, she decides to change the locks? Or stays out

deliberately late - until I lose my job?

If I try to get in to my home, she calls the police and does the "harassed woman" act

(although I have never, ever harassed her - but I ask since part of this divorce decree

she's filing against me says "The plaintiff asks this court to enter a mutual 'Ex-Parte'

Restraining Order enjoining the parties from harassing the other..."

I don't know any services here.. and don't know what to look for.

Did you not file for EAD along with your AOS... you could of been working for the last 1 1/2 years.... but all that is moot now...

Well of course I filed for EAD along with my AOS .. I explained this above. But the filing

authorities - "lost" - absolutely *all* of our paperwork, and asked us to do the whole lot

again!

I could *not* have been working for the last 1 1/2 years - because I did not have the ss

number and Temp. Permanent Residence Card - that I have only just now recieved!

Jim .. thank you very much for the frankness of your reply. I have no idea what benefits

or anything I am "entitled" to .. I thought the Affidavit of Support - was precisely *because*

I cannot claim any benefits or anything - not that I would know where to look for them

anyway, but I do not want to be any kind of drain on this country or this state..although, I

was not the one who put me in this position in the first place.

I prayed about this a lot, and something told me not to go down to Texas, I spoke with my

mentor from church - and he turned around and told me flatly the same thing, and doing

my morning reading .. I got the same message a third time .. so, difficult though it is, I

have chosen to stay and face whatever lies ahead.

I'm not so interested in what I can "get from her" in marital laws, etc, as I am in making

certain she doesn't ruin my life this way - by me being removed - just because she "feels"

differently. This country has become my home, and I have nothing and nowhere else now.

I have a job interview tomorrow .. so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can get it.

P.S. Thank you *so much* for the suggestion of the Post-man - I never thought of that! -

and he and I are good friends too! He knows her and the whole family for longer than he

has known me also!

What I really want - since she is doing this - is just to get filing as quickly as possible. I

know most legal places are closed over the weekends, and my pal in Tx is picking me

up Sunday.

I keep telling myself she's got it easy - no American male would just take it like this, but

I'm figuring the sooner this is over with, maybe then I can pick my life up & get on with

it.

Thanks to the 2-year delay in my residence card getting to us (they lost everything a

year ago, and we had to file all over again), she has been supporting me - which we have

both hated - for the last 2 years, so I'm cagey about trying to get "alimoney" money from

her. It would be a last resort. But as for rights, maybe I can find out about them in Texas,

frankly, I'll be glad to get away though!

I don't know ... I never know what the right thing is to do.

Get legal advice from where? .. I have no money, job, nor knowledge. I'm not sure what you mean by a "bum deal" .. I have tried everything here, and she is un-moving. What am I missing?

I already know she is going to do these things. She is going to her lawyer on Monday, and

then seeing what she can do to throw me out. I am taking everything that is mine, with me

.. including all of our shared documentation, photos, etc .. so that the authorities can be

sent everything they are asking for.

Meanwhile, my friend in Texas has opened their home to me - where I will be able to look

for a job, and focus on filing this waiver as soon as I get a copy of the divorce decree. It

may be that this move gives me more freedom to do this, but I don't know if it complicates

matters further - by having a different address. But I feel like I have no choice, maybe it

will make things simpler .. I simply do not know.

She stated last night .. that my absence was more important to her than anything I could

contribute as a working, functioning person.

'sigh

wish.

Since she tells me she is going to see her lawyer on Monday - the minute I have a copy

of the divorce decree, I can file the waiver, right (even though my Conditional Residence

card terminates next year)?

At the moment I am packing my bags, as I am leaving to go live with a friend down in

Texas - leaving tomorrow, as I have nowhere else to go. I assume it doesn't change my

ability to file this too much. I am taking with me - *all* of our documentation - so I can do

this as fully as possible.

The only evidences, since I've only *just* recieved my Conditional Residence Card and

Social Security number - that we shared a home together - are bank statements, in both

our names and debt collection bills, from debts she has run up, as well as charities that

we have been giving to, such as CBN and IFCJ; copies of our shared health insurance

cards ... I don't know if it's enough.

As for the Affidavits .. the wording on the form says "Two people - *since* - you recieved

your Residence card" .. which was only recently, and since we have been living 2 separate

lives in the same house, since she will not even try to talk with me (???) .. I know almost

no-one here.

The people I do know are people at my church, who can verify that I live at that address -

but .. they don't know *her* though. Are they sufficient for Affidavits?

Thank you for all the advice you have helped me with so far .. you have no idea what a

blanket of comfort this is to me .. it is a really hard and depressing time, right now.

- wish.

Okay. My wife has just come home, handed me a print-out of an I-751 and announced she

is going to see a lawyer next Monday to divorce me.

There are way too many abbreviations being thrown about for me to understand what many

people are talking about in here, when they are trying to give me advice. I do not understand

abbreviations. I know that, as soon as I get given a divorce decree - I should apply for a

waiver with this/for this form I-751. Now .. what does "applying for a waiver" mean?

* Does it mean I send in this form itself, or do I ask for a different form .. a "waiver"?

* Who do I ask? - I live in AR.

My wife does not care what happens to me. But I do. I am sure this process will be much easier

on both of us if we could work together on it. I am planning to visit a friend in Texas - to attend

a school down there, to get my GED. The wife says as soon as I'm gone - she will change the

locks, and list me as no longer living there. 'sighs

* It would be a lot easier for both of us, wouldn't it, if we were at the same address & got

this over and done with, as smoothly as possible?

It's more difficult, I think, if I am at a different address. Why she hates me so much, I do

not know. It started about 2 years ago - her "dead complacency" .. and her last divorce

ended exactly the same way - with the guy wondering what he had done and not recieving

clear answers - but he's American by birth,.. I'm not, and I risk getting thrown back to

where I came from, like unwanted garbage where I'll be homeless, because of it. I have no

other family.

* Also, the form asks us to provide sworn affidavits of two people who have known us

personally since recieving my Residence Card. Well,.. that was only a month ago, and having

lived almost 2 separate lives in this house for the last year and a half, I still know almost

nobody here.

God help me! .. I am in trouble, and I don't know what to do!

Okay. My wife has just come home, handed me a print-out of an I-751 and announced she

is going to see a lawyer next Monday to divorce me.

There are way too many abbreviations being thrown about for me to understand what many

people are talking about in here, when they are trying to give me advice. I do not understand

abbreviations. I know that, as soon as I get given a divorce decree - I should apply for a

waiver with this/for this form I-751. Now .. what does "applying for a waiver" mean?

* Does it mean I send in this form itself, or do I ask for a different form .. a "waiver"?

* Who do I ask? - I live in AR.

My wife does not care what happens to me. But I do. I am sure this process will be much easier

on both of us if we could work together on it. I am planning to visit a friend in Texas - to attend

a school down there, to get my GED. The wife says as soon as I'm gone - she will change the

locks, and list me as no longer living there. 'sighs

* It would be a lot easier for both of us, wouldn't it, if we were at the same address & got

this over and done with, as smoothly as possible?

It's more difficult, I think, if I am at a different address. Why she hates me so much, I do

not know. It started about 2 years ago - her "dead complacency" .. and her last divorce

ended exactly the same way - with the guy wondering what he had done and not recieving

clear answers - but he's American by birth,.. I'm not, and I risk getting thrown back to

where I came from, like unwanted garbage where I'll be homeless, because of it. I have no

other family.

* Also, the form asks us to provide sworn affidavits of two people who have known us

personally since recieving my Residence Card. Well,.. that was only a month ago, and having

lived almost 2 separate lives in this house for the last year and a half, I still know almost

nobody here.

God help me! .. I am in trouble, and I don't know what to do!

Okay. My wife has just come home, handed me a print-out of an I-751 and announced

she is going to see a lawyer next Monday to divorce me.

There are way too many abbreviations being thrown about for me to understand what

many people are talking about in here, when they are trying to give me advice. I do

not understand abbreviations. I know that, as soon as I get given a divorce decree - I

should apply for a waiver with this/for this form I-751. Now .. what does "applying for

a waiver" mean?

* Does it mean I send in this form itself, or do I ask for a different form .. a "waiver"?

* Who do I ask? - I live in AR.

My wife does not care what happens to me. But I do. I am sure this process will be

much easier on both of us if we could work together on it. I am planning to visit a

friend in Texas - to attend a school down there, to get my GED. The wife says as soon

as I'm gone - she will change the locks, and list me as no longer living there. 'sighs.

* It would be a lot easier for both of us, wouldn't it, if we were at the same address &

got this over and done with, as smoothly as possible?

It's more difficult, I think, if I am at a different address. Why she hates me so much, I

do not know. It started about 2 years ago - her "dead complacency" .. and her last

divorce ended exactly the same way - with the guy wondering what he had done and

not recieving clear answers - but he's American by birth,.. I'm not, and I risk getting

thrown back to where I came from, like unwanted garbage where I'll be homeless,

because of it. I have no other family.

* Also, the form asks us to provide sworn affidavits of two people who have known us

personally since recieving my Residence Card. Well,.. that was only a month ago, and

having lived almost 2 separate lives in this house for the last year and a half, I still

know almost nobody here.

God help me! .. I am in trouble, and I don't know what to do!

Yes - it expires next year.

in that case you should find out what an I 751 is....

So where do I find out what one is, where do I get it from, and do I start this

now? - because she hasn't filed for divorce yet.

is there an expiry date on the card?

Yes - it expires next year.

When does the card expire?

The card expires next year.

And how do I know I'm not a "Temporary Permanent Resident" even though I have my

Permanent Resident Card? [i don't know what an I-751 is]

But what about this I175 thing I keep hearing about? Don't I have to file for that after the

divorce or something .. and I'm not sure I have a green card, only a permanent resident

card .. and I thought that can be withdrawn under certain conditions .. hearing also that

authorities would want to question me on this divorce, to ensure it's bonafide .. before

deciding whether to deport me or not.

Isn't that also one of the other posts in this forum, that a guy was worried about being

deported also had the same as me?

I need help. I married my wife in 2004, coming in under a K-1 visa. In all that time, we have

had very few battles, but a couple of major ones - when they have happened.

Because of her job, a travelling nurse, we were always moving from address to address, to

different states, from one end of the country to another, and this played havoc with our AOS

process for, just when we began to think we'd be in one place long enough - to file and be

able to get me permission to work - and do so, her job would move her again .. the stuff

would be sent to the wrong address, the mail wouldn't be forwarded, etc .. at one time, the

Service Center we sent the neccessary information to, lost *everything* - and told us flatly -

we had to start all over again.

Now, finally, after over 2 + 1/2 years and just months away from our 3rd wedding anniersary,

I have only just recieved my permanent resident card and a social security number, enabling

me to finally be able to start work. Now .. she tells me, she wants a divorce.

She "died" in 'complacency' about 9 months after we married.. I don't know why..and I tried

for the first year *solid* - to pick our marriage up and save it .. but she just has not wanted

to know.

Every principle we ever shared, that our marriage was based on, has gone straight out the

window. She won't talk to me, she won't pray with me, she gave up on all things spiritual

and emotional - for both of us, she won't look at me, she won't even touch me .. we sleep in

separate beds, and have done for months - as if it was normal .. but I have been the only one

who has complained about it. Her best friend "Rick", known from childhood, walks in - and it is

all smiles and laughs .. the dogs ... the precious pooches .. get more of a welcome home than

I do.

I have never, ever, tried to force anything on her. In fact, everything during those wonderful

first 9 months together - was very open. Instead she throws up a foolish comment I made in

an argument once as her reason for wanting the divorce, even though that comment came a

year after the complacency started, which killed us - and she even acknowledges this herself.

She helped me so much, during the whole process up til now, that I am panicked .. as I am

absolutely clueless as to what my options are, against being deported - and discarded like a

piece of garbage - just because she feels differently.

I'm about to take my driving test and start looking for work. She says "I'm not completely

heartless. I'll let you work for a bit so they'll let you stay." .. but I'm not so sure that it's as

cut-and-dry as that.

I don't care what happens to me, as long as I can stay here. I have nowhere and nothing else.

What do I do? Where do I go? Would it help if I was married to someone else? .. or better - is

there just some way I can file to continue, and live and work the rest of my life productively

here?

I am absolutely clueless, and really need help. Our nearest Service Center is Tennessee.

Thank you,

Wish.