chzuga

my sympathy to you my friend I'm sorry you have to deal with those things...sad but that is really the reality here in the Philippines. You're lucky if you'll find a girl here who would understand that once you marry her it doesn't mean you're married to her entire clan and that you need to provide for them. I guess just talk to her again and if she's capable of working then maybe she could work so it's not only you who will shoulder everything. I hope you'll fix everything between the two of you and that it will save your marriage. Good luck!!!

Hi Poloniks,
Welcome to VJ. I'm so sorry that you are going thru this issue right now. Unfortunately, Filipino families are generally like that. Being, Filipina myself, I am experiencing the same thing with my family. They expect me to support them "forever"! I am married to a Filipino naturalized USC, he grew up here so his "mentality" about helping my family is totally the opposite of how I feel, so initially it has been a very big issue with us. We were fighting and arguing about about finances during our 1st two years of marriage. But things got better especially when we got kids. Not only that I set limits to what I send them (fortunately I'm a nurse and I make good money) I stood by my husband. Before every time we will have an argument my family will not only take my side but will try to instigate something to make the argument much worse. My aunt and best friend talked some sense to me about standing up for my man and prioritizing my hubby and kids over my family, which is the best decision I ever did. Now, my family can't manipulate me anymore, they know where they stand.
Maybe you and your wife can compromise on something, if she wants to send money to her family she needs to work, however much she wants to send she should work for it. She will only know the value of money if she works hard to earn it. You have to think of your kids future. Make sure you have enough cushion/emergency fund/ retirement fund and things like that.
Stand your ground, I hate to say this but the silent treatment is a form of manipulation, just think of it this way, if you are not in their lives what would they do? Don't send them money, they are all abled body and they can find a way of helping themselves. It just makes me mad sometimes how the in-laws can be so selfish and just think of themselves, do they even think that this is becoming a strain in your marriage?
Well, at the end of the day you guys need to talk about it, set your priorities, if your in-laws get mad at you or both of you, then what are they gonna do? give them the silent treatment too! I wish you good luck and thanks for serving our country, stay safe and God bless you.