Pigu

I am studying to be a nurse and I do not understand why more doctors do not properly inform their patients of these unavoidable side effects.

It's because they're nonsense. 60% of women use this pill with no side effects, and the vast majority of the remaining 40% have only minor effects.

http://www.unm.edu/~shc1/pill-side-effects.html

Try the rhythm method.

Yeah, my parents tried the rhythm method. That's how I got born, in fact.

F R I E N D S H I P

Friendship is like an ointment

When you've been stung by fifty bees

Wherever you rub it

You know it feels better

Because it's a topical analgesic

Send this link to 5 people within the next lunar month and you will have good luck when you play Caribbean Stud Poker in any casino partly or entirely owned by the Florida Seminoles (within the same period) (but only if you are a person of colour (excluding white (unless you are also Jewish))).

Charming mollification what! I'd say! Good show.

Don't mind heishe, she just doesn't know a Scouser from her elbow.

All I used was a letter from my doctor describing the jabs I'd had. It wasn't even on headed notepaper. The doctor's signature was a v-shaped line.

By which I mean, you'll be fine.

You guys are awesome. My improvisational rap opera is rubbish compared to this.

LOL it is so true

-----Forwarded Message-----

THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

1. Women order wine while at fancy parties, but men order BEER!

2. Women have periods and men leave the toilet seat up every GOD DAMN TIME what's that about?

3. Women are smart and read books but men watch FOOTBALL and BURP!

4. Women go through the pain of child birth but men let their buttcracks hang out of their pants EW!

5. Women take forever to put on makeup but men CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES ALL OF THEM DO.

6. Women cry at good movies and men SMELL LIKE SHIIIIT.

7. When women get together they comfort one another and talk about important issues, and when men get together they fight and give each other GAY KISSES in their stupid little garages.

8. Women always land on their feet when dropped from a height but men OGLE OTHER WOMEN'S CLEAVAGE constantly in public.

9. Women can become lawyers and doctors but men can only JERK OFF IN THEIR OWN FACES.

and lastly...

10. Women fake orgasms but men should JUST DIE IN A FIRE ALREADY ARGH.

It's true Brad, she is incapable of learning! I have a fetish for posted retards and that is why I am marrying her. Try to ignore her crazy outbursts!

Yes reading stuff is good! But asking people is so easy! And we are so lazy!

/gently holds your head in my arms and inhales the sweet scent of your hair

/thrustings

I called the Premium-Rate-Extortion-O-Line and the guy took a long time to think about it before saying I could pay on the day. I guess I'll just turn up early, and bring cash. He said I could pay GBP or USD.

But there weren't any forms either! I just got a letter with the time of interview, a sheet of instructions, and a map which said "attachment: Application Payment Slip". The map had been stapled to something which had been ripped off. Brothers, tell me exactly what should have been in the packet 4!

Bear in mind the London embassy appear to use second class post (because they are so cool and great) so P4 might come well into next week.

Don't kill yourself cessna! Think of all the Dell products and posthumous 2pac remixes you will miss!

I love you heishe! /snorgle

F R I E N D S H I P

Friendship is like an ointment

When you've been stung by fifty bees

Wherever you rub it

You know it feels better

Because it's a topical analgesic

Send this link to 5 people within the next lunar month and you will have good luck when you play Caribbean Stud Poker in any casino partly or entirely owned by the Florida Seminoles (within the same period) (but only if you are a person of colour (excluding white (unless you are also Jewish))).

Medical went great, thank you. He said I was wise to get a letter from my doctor regarding the specifics of my history of depression. I also got the necessary immunizations on the NHS, before I went to the medical. There were no problems.

Oh, also you don't seem to need influenza vaccine unless you're over 50.

omg yay

(L) I MISSED UUUUU CESSNA (L)

pwn2Bwiild bruh :energetic:

/squirm

Great, you just repeated the "it takes one to know one" joke three times. Next you can move onto "knock knock" and why chickens cross roads.

For balance here is a good picture of Theresa Kerry:

followed by a bad picture of Laura Bush:

The woman on the left looks like she's having a cold turkey baster up her rectum.