Depressed247

Hi Sandranj. When I asked about the restraining order I was told he would have to leave the house and that he wouldn't be able to contact me in any way. that was the only reason I got about the restraining order. His sister said I should leave because it's his house, I was too scare to stay there anyway. So I left on July 29, 2017. I got the divorce papers on July 25, 2017. The bruise on my arm is visible now it's huge. I have to cover it up with bandaids for work.

The second ground was irreconcilable differences for the past six months, this would mean that no one is to be blamed for the marriage breaking down right? But that wouldn't be true his abuse towards me broke down this marriage. Should I sign that part nonetheless?

I would really appreciate your help with the annulment. Thank you.

7 minutes ago, Depressed247 said:

Thank you Sandranj. After he left this morning he came back and push me down I hit my hand but there was no black and blue then. It just came up. I had to call the police and make a report. Without bruises he denied everything of course. He hit me in my stomach last night I didn't feel well so I went to urgent care but they had no machine so I have to go to emergency but everything turn out okay. As expected he told them I am lying because I got divorce papers. The only reason why I wasn't in a shelter already is because the ones with opening are far from work. The officers ask if I want a restraining order and he would have to leave the house if granted, I told them no because the people who lived there no him for twenty years so I was scared to even stay there by myself. So I will go stay with someone. I went to counseling but it wasn't a psychiatrist or a psychologist, just regular counselor.  I have been abuse but the marks weren't visible much, so it was hard to report physical abuse.  I was doing research which stated if I disagree with the ground that would mean I was contesting the divorce and that would be expensive, he probably did that because he knew I won't have money for a lawyer.

when I try to find pro bono lawyers on internet they were still asking how you going to pay.

I wanted to know 

1. If he got the annulment It would be like we never got married would I have to leave as soon as its finalized?

Thank u.

 

 

His sister was at the house today after showing her the ground was lie, she ask me if she should ask him to remove it he said he would talk to his lawyer to see if he can. I doubt he would, but if he did what does it mean?

1. Would I still have to answer the first one and state my grounds as well?

2. Or would I be send a different divorce papers?

Never been married don't know the process. 

Thanks

4 hours ago, sandranj said:

Join the VAWA thread part 8.You will not file VAWA but if you want you can file I-751 ROC based on extreme cruelty(mental abuse). We have on the thread hundreds of victims of abuse who suffered physical or/and psychological and sexual abuse as well. 

 

You should answer the divorce claim. Find a pro bono attorney to represent you and he/she will file a CONTESTED ANSWER TO COMPLAINT FOR ANNULMENT and file a COUNTERCLAIM as well. You can represent yourself in this annulment action, but it's better if you find a pro bono attorney to help you with this. Call the Bar Association and ask a list of pro bono attorneys in your area, ask the Clerk in the Court the list of pro bono attorneys as well.

 

In the last case scenario, I will help you to file I-751 waiver based on abuse if you decide this option, and if you want my help of course. I will not charge you for this and I will not represent you (I am an attorney) but I can review your forms, the affiant's affidavits and your own affidavit. You need to attend therapy and have a psychological evaluation done, and if you have a diagnose of depression due to the abuse suffered or PTSD then you can prove extreme cruelty.

 

Thank you Sandranj. After he left this morning he came back and push me down I hit my hand but there was no black and blue then. It just came up. I had to call the police and make a report. Without bruises he denied everything of course. He hit me in my stomach last night I didn't feel well so I went to urgent care but they had no machine so I have to go to emergency but everything turn out okay. As expected he told them I am lying because I got divorce papers. The only reason why I wasn't in a shelter already is because the ones with opening are far from work. The officers ask if I want a restraining order and he would have to leave the house if granted, I told them no because the people who lived there no him for twenty years so I was scared to even stay there by myself. So I will go stay with someone. I went to counseling but it wasn't a psychiatrist or a psychologist, just regular counselor.  I have been abuse but the marks weren't visible much, so it was hard to report physical abuse.  I was doing research which stated if I disagree with the ground that would mean I was contesting the divorce and that would be expensive, he probably did that because he knew I won't have money for a lawyer.

when I try to find pro bono lawyers on internet they were still asking how you going to pay.

I wanted to know 

1. If he got the annulment It would be like we never got married would I have to leave as soon as its finalized?

Thank u.

It seems no one believes me so no one wants to help me.

i see on here that I won't be able to ROC if an annulment is granted, would I have to leave immediately?

10 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

You need to get to a safe house as a priority.

I was on the phone since after 11 they are telling me I have to get a restraining order first. 

Hi guys good morning. Really need your help again. Sorry it's been awhile but most times my Husband takes away my phone and turn off his internet. He has been cursing me as usual. He gave me divorce papers today. When he gave me he told me not to sign yet because he is not sure if he wants to go through it. I told him I am going to sign he got upset. When I read it found out he wants an annulment. The grounds being I lied to him about been able to have kids. Which is not true.

Story is when I was a 18 (2002) I got pregnant and was forced to abort it. Made me depressed for years. In 2012 I got pregnant and I lost the baby, I told my husband about my second pregnancy, but not the abortion because it never prevented me from getting pregnant. So why dig up the past. So his ground is that I knew I wouldn't be able to because of the abortion I got pregnant after that so how is it I know I couldn't get pregnant? Can that still be ground for annulment even though I got pregnant after? Or it can be because I didn't tell him of the first one? They say I could defend the ground but it would cost money and he made sure I don't have any. If he get the annulment, how soon will I have to leave.

please if anyone knows please answer as soon as you can, because I am actually outside and it's dark and lonely. He was fighting me for my iPad and pushing me around I didn't feel safe. I tried calling a safe house but I assume they probably think I am doing it because I got divorce papers. And if I call the police they would probably think the same. I am so afraid to go back in the house. I got a part time job and even though he can drop me he refuse he made sure I had no money to do anything. With all the abuse I went through if I had money to file I would have. Are there any options for me? Or is it too late? Do I have to answer the divorce even though it's not true? Please help. If I don't respond it's either he took my phone or he hurt me, he told me he would. Thanks in advance 

A month ago he said he was going to file for a divorce because I am not doing what he says and he is the man and his wife should do as he says. He went to his lawyer but when he got back he was no longer proposing divorce, instead he was saying I can leave if I want, would it make a difference? If I was to go and spend a few weeks with my family can he say I abondon the marriage? it seems his lawyer is telling him it have to look like it's my fault the marriage end, will this affects my ROC? If I took the initiative will that put me in a bad light? I just get the feeling his lawyer is telling him it would look bad on me. I got HHA certified and wants to work, ( he told me I can't) but I want and have to. He doesn't give me allowance and if I want something he will take me to buy it instead of giving me money to buy it myself, and I do mean everything. Besides the joint assets and the other big things that I don't havecan you guys suggest any thing else besides what I list that I could use as evidence? If I don't read your responses it means he took away my iPad or turn off the wifi.

So thanks for all responses in advance

He always threatens to call and tell lies on me to USCIS, will they believe him without any proof?

He always threatens to call and tell lies on me to USCIS, will they believe him without any proof?

9 hours ago, NikLR said:

Imho you have enough to roc on your own.  Leave the jerk. 

Don't know if it's enough but I might try. I treat him so well and he treats me so badly. Thanks to me his health have improved so much but he sees that as nothing. It's just so hard to let go when you love and invested so much

2 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

People like this don't change, or if they do change, it doesn't endure.  For your sanity and safety, leave him.

I wish he would though. I am a Christian and we go to church on Sundays, I believe that if he tries maybe he can. He treated me like a queen in the beginning, but things started changing when we started living together. He wants to decide everything for me, and without my input. I will feel guilty if I leave and anything happens to him health wise. Through the entire process we did all the filing and research together, but he keeps saying as soon as we get divorce I would have to go back home. I would hear him making appointments to see his Lawyer, so maybe he told him I won't have enough evidence to stay here.

4 hours ago, bostonBruce said:

omg so sorry , this is everyones nightmare, after all the work u guys did to finally meet he is like that? what a shame ! is there family around to talk to? either yours or his? u can message me if u want, I have my jama fiancée coming in august n boston

That's what I keep telling him, after all this work we should not give up without a fight. I believe people should fight for their relationship. I just wish he would talk to someone. We talk to his mom and his sister, After hearing both sides , they told him it's not right to talk to me like that, his response would he that he is the one who sacrificed the most and this is how he talk. His mom is amazing, she calls me at least two or three times per week to check up on me.

4 hours ago, bostonBruce said:

hopefully theres someone from here that's n NJ to help u out, this bothers me a lot !!!!

Thanks

6 hours ago, Bill & Katya said:

I agree, you have a lot, so I would leave the situation.  If he hasn't filed for divorce, maybe you should take the initiative. 

 

Good Luck!

I was prevented from working so I don't have money to file. I do love him and just wish he would at least seek counseling, maybe if someone show him the error of his ways he would change.

Hi good morning guys . Really depressed and looking for some advice.

got married 1 year ago but my husband is controlling and verbally and emotionally abusive.

He shove me a few times and pushed me down when I was walking up the stairs.

He uses profanities to me and call me names. A few months ago I told him I wanted to get certified as a Home Health Aide

he told me if I did that he would send me back home or call USCIS to tell lies on me. When I told him I don't like the profanities 

he said he is the man and I shouldn't tell him what to do, and that I am being disrespectful. He tell me everything that I should do, if I don't always do what he says he says it's because I am ungrateful. I love my Husband so I tried to tell him he need to exercise (he has underlying illness) he curses me. He will take away my phone, take away the key so I can't leave the house, I can't use his computer or his wifi, and he tell me I can get back the phone only if I behave myself. I have to hide and watch certain reality shows because he says he doesn't want certain shows to watch in his house. I ask him for us to go counseling but he refuses to go. Even though I can't use his things, I still have to wash, cook, clean, iron every thing as before, he told me he is still giving me food. I take care of him, everyone who knows him says it's the healthiest he have looked in years

because I keep him eating clean, he doesn't appreciate it and treats me more like a slave than his wife. He verbally abuses me constantly and threatened to call USCIS, even though he know we both married for love.

if I decide to try and stay would it be possible, I don't have much evidence. What I do have:

1. One year tax return 

2. Joint bank account 

3. Health Insurance 

4. Postcards from both Of us

5. Emails and text messages 

6. Photos of us.

7. Electricity bills

He had his home before we met.

i don't know if I should even try as I don't have much evidence. He told me if I don't behave myself and do certain things, ( 1 thing I couldn't do) he won't put my name on his bills so I don't have much. I got my 2 year green card 9 months ago so I know it look bad, but I have tried to make it work to seek counseling and he refuses. He told me Sunday it's not going to work because I told him it can't be okay to speak to his wife that way, he said it's disrespectful to say that to him. I don't know if he files for divorce yet. He refuses me to work but don't give me any allowance, I love and want to work when I tell him I want to work, he says it's because I don't appreciate what he is doing to support us.

I feel like I am going crazy can't believe he is treating me this way.

he says he will file for divorce, have not happen yet but just want to know what my choices and chances are.

sorry my writing is not cohesive 

Thanks in advance for your help it will be greatly appreciated.