Xosorry

15 minutes ago, Jaybird225 said:

It's very easy for others to judge on what they would do. Unfortunately people can be very manipulative and then years down the road you are in a huge mess and ylu have no idea how you got there. My fiance just moved here recently and I'm struggling with him being irresponsible and it's very challenging. You love the person but you also want and deserve to be happy. 

 

I know it's difficult but try your best to focus on you and your child. Put everything you have into taking care of yourself. Try to do little things that make you happy. I would definitely encourage a counselor. Not to belittle you but to work things out and to move on. Think everyone can use counseling, struggling or not. Really wish the best for you 

I appreciate your kind words, and hope your situation changes for the better. I'm totally aware something is wrong with me to accept certain behaviors and treatment. I'm not ignorant to the fact that I have very little self worth. But again, thank you. ❤️

3 hours ago, NikLR said:

Regardless of children, why you're still in contact enough to know what's going on in this person's life is beyond the scope of my imagination.  If anyone beat my face in and told me they wished I was dead, they'd probably disappear and I wouldn't worry about them breaking restraining orders.  

 

YOU need counselling to get over the relationship you had with this person. 

I'M getting counseling. Thank you for the judgement and lack of help. 

27 minutes ago, Boiler said:

I agree, but probably was my first thought. Would not it have been easier to just leave on his own?

He didn't have money or anyone here to help him. Think he thought it was best option, not sure why. 

Long story short, my husband is currently in court for violating an emergency protective order he was issued against me. He turned himself in when he violated it, as he hoped to be deported at that point and thought that was the way to do it. The DA reviewed the body cam on the cops and saw how my husband said he wanted to be deported. He had to fill out some sort of form for ICE. He's currently at the courthouse. Is it likely he will be placed in removal proceedings? If not, is he likely to be denied residency at the time for renewal? Please help, and do not judge. 

21 minutes ago, sparkles_ said:

This too. Just because a person has committed a 'deportable' offense, doesn't mean they are always placed in proceedings. It is like luck of the draw with that.

Interesting. I don't know why he didn't research it before throwing himself back in. I just want him to get some mental help at this point. It's too painful to watch his self destructive, impulsive ways. I thank everyone for the advice. 

1 minute ago, IcezMan_IcezLady said:

No one here would ask you to get back together but because you left details out of your initial posts, that's what others like myself drew out of your issue.

Your safety should be your top priority. His immigration status is no longer in your hands.

And I hope both of you get help. Not just him only.

Thank you. I do too. 

19 minutes ago, Xosorry said:

Thank you. I am receiving such conflicting messages on leaving him or not, but the truth is this was just the end of a very abusive cycle, a lot more damage was done. He is great with his words- he can fool everyone, he's fooled past court rooms. He fools me into thinking he will change, every time. I love him so much but he never changes. 

I think part of the reason he broke it is he wants to be deported because he's self destructive and I think he finally reached a breaking point in jail. I wish I could ask him why he put himself right back in jail the day he got out. He was begging me to forgive him but he called the police on the way to tell them he was turning himself in. I just don't get it. You have a 1 year old. Why. 

7 minutes ago, RO_AH said:

Sanctuary city only means that the city will not assist the federal government on immigration efforts. There is nothing saying that you can't report him. The fact that he broke the restraining order even after he was told he could be deported worries me. I think you need to make sure you get any kind of assistance you can including staying somewhere he can't find you. Good luck. 

Thank you. I am receiving such conflicting messages on leaving him or not, but the truth is this was just the end of a very abusive cycle, a lot more damage was done. He is great with his words- he can fool everyone, he's fooled past court rooms. He fools me into thinking he will change, every time. I love him so much but he never changes. 

3 hours ago, IcezMan_IcezLady said:

I totally agree with you..

He beat my face in. He was charged with a felony, but plead guilty to a misdemeanor so he could be released from jail. When I tried to drop off the baby for custody time he held me hostage. He only ever bought the baby formula and diapers twice. He tells me things like "why can't you just ###### die you piece of ?" That all said, I do very much love him. But I think until he receives mental help, we need no contact and he needs to go home and get his head on straight. The comments about getting back together are painful to read. 

2 minutes ago, Boiler said:

http://cis.org/Sanctuary-Cities-Map

 

Perhaps he was just trying to scare him, seems OC is a Sanctuary area.

So he won't be deported at all? What about when the divorce is finalized? He did not respond to the petition, so that should be over fairly quickly. Will he be able to renew his residency once he has a misdemeanor DV and broke a restraining order? 

1 minute ago, Xosorry said:

Interesting. I'm in Orange County. 

Additionally, at the heading for DV, the public defender told him if he broke the restraining order, he would be put in removal proceedings. He broke the order in Orange County. 

Just now, Boiler said:

The issues are State based and you show your location as LA which is a sanctuary city so Immigration may not be an issue.

Interesting. I'm in Orange County. 

3 minutes ago, Dee elle said:

There is no easy way...  but there are ways of ensuring you are best supported during this time and that you are safe, cared for and able to begin to make choices towards a bettter future.

 

Give yourself the right to feel angry, sad, despair, angry, mad, frustrated, angry, shut down,....

Get in touch with a few people who really support you, not just tell you what to do

Realize it will take longer than you want it to to feel better

Focus on what you can do, especially on providing a safe environment for your beautiful child

Give yourself the right to feel angry, sad......

Know that you DO deserve better

Dont feel that everyone who asks needs to be told what's happening... be as closed to the ones who arent helpful as you need to be in order to be in safe and not hurt more.

Realize it will take longer than you want it too

Give yourself the right to feel angry, sad, frustrated....

When its the right time, think about getting some professional counselling to walk the healing journey with you....

Give yourself the right to feel angry , sad, disappointed, ....

Know it will take time

Know you deserve better

 

Repetition on purpose 😎

 

I wish you well.... 

I'm sobbing reading this. I'm so heartbroken. My daughter looks just like him. I loved him so much. I tried so hard to help him, I know he wanted to be a good dad and husband but it's like he can't help but destroy everything he touches and it's so hard to watch someone you love ruin their life when they don't even intend to. He obviously needed some mental health help but it's like he couldn't stick to it every day. But thank you. I know this site isn't to discuss divorce emotional issues, but this isn't a normal divorce. I may never see this man again. And that was one of the lasts texts he sent last night. I am consumed in pain. 

Hi. Hoping I can get help. This may even be in the wrong area, forgive me if it is. 

My husband is from U.K and on a conditional green card. He came here after 2 times visiting, we married in April 2016, had a baby, and he never went home. Last week, he was arrested and charged with a misdemeanor of domestic abuse. He plead guilty. I did not have to show up to court, not that I even wanted to. We are separated at this point, I've filed for divorce. I filed a temporary restraining order (2nd time in 2 months) and was ordered a court date in the near future. My husband stayed in jail for a week. He was released yesterday. He broke the restraining order 8 hours later and showed up at the house and turned himself in. At this point, what is even going to happen? Deportation proceedings?  How long do those usually take? Also, does anyone have advice on how to not hurt so badly over the thought that the person they fought so hard to help make a citizen just threw everything away instead of changing his abusive ways, and therefore, you and his child will ever see him again? Because I'm having a really hard time.