Hamster Mom

thanks

Colada, you are my prayer. In florida, if you have been married for 10 years, you qualify to get alimoney for the rest of your whole life, not only the period of some years.

I recently got my 10 years greencard. Now my problem is this, me and my husband been married for more than 2 years already but since i been here in the US, my husband has some kind of temper problem. I do love him so much but i guess he is abusive but i really dont know because he always tells me his not abusive. Is it normal that a husband will call his wife different kinds of names such as a #######, a ######...etc...whenever you are fighting? He always calls me different names whenever his mad, he also gets mad when i just cry instead of saying something while he runs his mouth and yells at me. When i make a simple mistake or say some thing that he dont like, it starts the whole fight. i know i can speak english a little better but the fact is im not american, im an asian and i dont expect my english to be perfect but then sometimes on a conversation, i have hard time to explain to him something then he gets mad at me. He also don't give me any money, and since im not working i dont have a single penny on my purse. He do send money to my family overseas every now and then before like the biggest he sent was $90. and he always makes me feel guilty about that, that i should be grateful to him that he send money and he bring me here. he always makes me feel useless...he always blame me for everything. he always say he is always right. There was one time before he pull my hair because we was fighting and he wants to throw me out on the street. and i dont want to go out because i dont have family here, i have nowhere to go. So what he do is he grab my hair and pull it so i would go. he do it a couple of times but i stay in even if im hurt. because im scared to go anywhere outside. he let me sleep outside the house, like on the steps although he wake me up to come up upstairs to bed like 3 am in the morning. My family dont know whats going on with me here, i dont want them to worry about me so i pretend everything is ok. my husband always insult me, like saying i come from a third world country. that im a gold digger, but if i am why is it that i dont have a single penny on my purse? if i want to buy something, i have to ask him but if he dont like what i want to buy then i cant get it because i dont have my own money.he always tells me to leave him but he also always tells me that after i leave him he will call uscis and report me because its a fraud. I honestly dont know what to do, thats the only time he hurt me physically the pulling of my hair. but my problem is he hurts me verbally and emotionally and he thinks its not an abuse. he dont see calling me names, insulting me, yelling at me, screaming on my face, screaming at the top of his lungs so neighbors hear when he calls me a ####### , he dont see that as an abuse. I dont have a job, i dont have money, i have no family here, i feel so alone. My husband is the only man i trusted here but right now, i dont think i could still trust him. And i really dont know what to do. Please someone clear my mind up, am i in an abusive relationship or not? and if i am, will i be deported if i leave him because i feel like im going to die here soon because of all the hurtful things he do and say. Is it my fault that we are financially having a hard time because he has to pay all his money for the uscis process for me? am i being ungrateful because i feel he is abusive? dont i have the right to feel hurt and complain the way he treat me just because he pay everything for my papers? i still love him, thats actually one of the reason i dont have the courage to go away when he tells me to go out of his house coz he dont need me. He said he loves me too, when the fight is over but the thing is it happens over and again, whenever he is not in the mood or we argue, he do the same thing again, calling me names, yelling at me, insulting me and my country just because its a third world country. Its been almost 3 years now but he is still the same way. never change the way he treat me, never give me any money even just 5 bucks for an allowance. He always calls it, its his money, its his car, its his house. sometimes i feel like im just a trash to him. Why he never see he is abusing me verbally? are they going to revoke my greencard if we get divorce. he always tells me that he wants a divorce but he always say after we got our divorce he will make sure my ### got deported to my 3rd world country because of fraud. we been married for almost 3 years and hes the one who wanted the divorce. i dont want a divorce because i dont have a job and any money to start my life over. im scared to start my life over but i also can't take the way he treats me anymore. What should i do?

I am new here. I found this link on another forum as a recomandation to look for processing times concerning citizenship. reading thorough i found liz's post and thought i might help her in some way. An advice in her situation, a better understanding of what she has and needs to do from now on it is vital for her right now.

Liz, i am going to be as straight forward as possible. In situations like this you have to realise that the only thing that can help you is not the people, but the knowledge you gather from people, internet and other sourses. The most important thing is KNOWING what to do in situations like this and KNOWING your RIGHTS. As a green card holder you have RIGHTS. Learn your rights and use them. Whipe the tears and start the reaserch. The compassion you get here it will help you emotionaly but knowing what to do will save you.

1) No matter what your spouse sais he can not deport you or revoke your Green Card.

2) Do you have the bank accounts on both names? If you do, know that it is BOTH your money, no matter who has the job. You can take money out of the bank just as easy as him. You don't need to live out of his pitty. You are his wife and have equal rights to anything he has. If he decides to go crazy and spend them all, he spends them on cars, like you said. Well, car is possesion and possesion is parted in two at divorce. If he gets you in dept at divorce, you can pay after getting a job, two if you have to.

3) You will NOT pay allimony, girl, trust me:). He might have to pay you!

4) Next time he abuses you, CALL THE COPS!!!! It's a right you have and trust me, they don't joke arround in cases of domestic abuse.

5) I don't recomend the shelters. But that is my oppinion, other might say different but i wuld not recommend it UNLESS you've been there and saw with your own eyes what you find. You will be sorrounded by weak, misserable, poor, distressed, confuzed people that will be of no help(moraly) to you. You already are there, don't surround yourself with more of the same. You will fall in depression and desparation more than you are now. You need to find a job ASAP, and look for comunnities in your area where people from your country live. Look online, get in touch with people from your country, ask for help, look for a roomate, find a job and once you get these out of the way, pack your bags, get a restraing order and leave without lookinf back. Let him apply for divorce or do whatever the heck he wants.

6) $90 to your family- that's so cheap! Com'on...you can't seariously say you are thankful for that kind of crums. That is an offense to you and your familly, no matter what country you come from or how poor it is.

7) You love him or you are scared of what's out there and he is the only thing you know? Most times we tend to think that, the bad that we know is better than the good we don't know. We are beeings of habbit. Changes scare us. Dump the fear, test the watters, people you will find outside your marriage are much much better than your husband. Don't be affraid! Please! Think of you, your life, your happyness.

8) Stand up for yourself. That will take him by surprise. Knowing your rights can be a shell against his violence. He thinks your week. Show him you're not! Pick up the phone and call for help. Call the cops, call his parents, tell the neighbours, let the world now! The more you come out the more you will protect yourself from scums like your spouse. He has no right to treat you this way.

You can also look for a job as a nanny. A lot of famillies need live in nannies, they pay you, they feed you, you work for them and live with them.

There are many ways out. Don't stay in this situation no more. Prepare youself with knowledge and reseaerch girl, reaserch. Use the internet, google your questiins, google your rights, google abuse, google friends from your country, google roomates, google jobs, google something, anything! And GET OUT before it gets worse.

I really enjoy reading these kidnd of words.

Tell him you love him and aleady have his baby. You should let him know your feelings. If he dont care about all of this, let him go. Sun stile shine, you can find a better man.

Yes you can. Dont worry, go ahead.

Adding pkmk to the list

UserName............Serv. Ctr.....Date of I-751.....NOA1 Date.......Biometrics......Approved

tumbin..............TSC...........04/22/06..........05/04/06........--/--/--........--/--/--(RFE 07-31-07)

Feliz...............CSC...........10/26/06..........11/01/06........08/04/07-.......--/--/-- RFE

haozi101............NSC...........11/27/06..........12/06/06........01/03/07........09/14/07

jennybirgitta.......NSC...........01/13/07..........01/18/07........02/14/07........--/--/--

fragile093..........TSC...........01/27/07..........01/31/07........03/03/07........--/--/--

Peter T.............NSC...........01/27/07..........02/26/07........03/09/07.........--/--/--

shahkr..............VSC...........01/29/07..........02/xx/07........03/01/07........--/--/-- RFE

ven2lin.............TSC...........02/01/07..........02/05/07........--/--/--........--/--/--

Illinois............NSC...........02/19/07..........02/23/07........04/18/07........--/--/--

kn687...............TSC...........02/27/07..........03/21/07........03/29/07........--/--/--

tweety..............TSC...........03/09/07..........03/28/07........04/06/07........--/--/--

Boscouple...........VSC...........03/16/07..........03/21/07........04/10/07........09/19/07

Frances.............NSC...........04/02/07..........05/05/07........05/24/07........--/--/--

Kearinne............NSC...........04/09/07..........04/30/07........06/02/07........--/--/--

gyuwono.............NSC...........04/17/07..........04/20/07........05/18/07........--/--/--

James...............TSC...........04/18/07..........04/20/07........05/31/07........--/--/--

Gringa..............VSC...........04/27/07..........05/24/07........06/22/07........--/--/--

Cassie..............TSC...........05/08/07..........05/09/07........06/04/07........--/--/--

Mr.Bigdog...........TSC...........06/06/07..........06/19/07........08/30/07........--/--/--

Joel'sWife..........VSC...........06/08/07..........06/21/07........07/07/07........--/--/--

thea................VSC...........06/09/07..........06/25/07........07/06/07........--/--/--

pkmk................NSC...........06/18/07..........07/02/07........07/13/07........--/--/--

Silvanski...........TSC > CSC.....06/27/07..........07/12/07........08/17/07........10/02/07 (RFE 08/29/07)

Sweet Melissa.......TSC > CSC.....06/28/07..........07/10/07........10/10/07........--/--/--

wifiman.............NSC > CSC.....06/29/07..........08/05/07........08/15/07........08/25/07

ForYou..............VSC...........07/20/07..........08/06/07....... 09/08/07........--/--/--

Sami................NSC > CSC.....07/20/07..........08/04/07........08/15/07........09/15/07

stina&suj...........TSC > CSC.....07/13/07..........07/26/07........--/--/--........--/--/--

Stefanie............NSC > CSC.....07/16/07..........07/25/07........military........--/--/--

Bree................TSC > CSC.....07/24/07..........07/27/07........09/13/07........09/25/07

6901................TSC > CSC.....07/24/07..........08/04/07........09/12/07........09/20/07

smushtaq............NSC > CSC.....07/26/07..........08/09/07........09/07/07........--/--/--

mahal...............TSC > CSC.....07/27/07..........07/27/07........09/28/07........--/--/--

Jo1973..............TSC > CSC.....07/27/07..........08/20/07........09/21/07........--/--/--

Widge...............NSC > CSC.....07/27/07..........08/22/07........09/12/07........--/--/--

Smoothsailing.......NSC > CSC.....07/28/07..........08/17/07........09/10/07........09/15/07

dcl766..............NSC > CSC.....07/28/07..........08/24/07........09/13/07........09/19/07

Lugn ...............NSC > CSC.....07/28/07..........08/24/07........09/11/07........09/13/07

Gene&Maria..........NSC > CSC.....07/28/07..........08/20/07........09/10/07........--/--/--

mcutchin............CSC...........07/30/07..........08/20/07........09/18/07........--/--/--

bsokny12............NSC > CSC.....07/30/07..........08/20/07........09/08/07........09/12/07

gwsmith01...........VSC...........08/03/07..........08/22/07........09/07/07........--/--/--

metta...............TSC > CSC.....08/04/07..........08/30/07........09/28/07........--/--/--

Gemma12nEl..........VSC...........08/07/07..........08/07/07........10/02/07........--/--/--

gandagirl505........CSC...........08/08/07..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

moe_lisa............NSC > CSC.....08/09/07..........09/06/07........09/28/07........--/--/--

Alie................TSC > CSC.....08/11/07..........09/12/07........10/12/07........--/--/--

beggartl............NSC > CSC.....08/11/07..........08/13/07........10/09/07........--/--/--

pj1959us............NSC > CSC.....08/13/07..........08/15/07........09/29/07........--/--/--

guapitoyguapita77...TSC > CSC.....08/14/07..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

annelizabeth........NSC > CSC.....08/15/07..........08/17/07........09/28/07........--/--/--

Bubibu..............CSC...........08/15/07..........08/20/07........10/04/07........--/--/--

ca_babe.............CSC...........08/16/07..........08/17/07........09/28/07........--/--/--

eau_xplain..........TSC > CSC.....08/18/07..........08/21/07........10/11/07........--/--/--

nutmarg.............TSC > CSC.....08/20/07..........08/20/07........--/--/--........--/--/--

Kez.................VSC...........08/24/07..........09/01/07........10/02/07........--/--/--

maguilart...........NSC > CSC.....08/29/07..........08/30/07........10/26/07........--/--/--

kitty0657...........NSC > CSC.....08/31/07..........09/04/07........--/--/--........--/--/--

Inlove_tx...........TSC > CSC.....09/01/07..........09/05/07........10/25/07........--/--/--

DougandNancy........VSC...........09/04/07..........09/06/07........10/03/07........--/--/--

poppinslp...........CSC...........09/04/07..........10/01/07........10/30/07........--/--/--

dalegg..............CSC...........09/06/07..........09/07/07........10/11/07........--/--/--

hopeful_laura.......NSC...........09/07/07..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

Tegan...............CSC...........09/10/07..........10/01/07........10/20/07........--/--/--

FVA.................NSC > CSC.....09/10/07..........10/02/07........--/--/--........--/--/--

silent-whispers.....TSC...........09/10/07..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

Whodat..............VSC...........09/10/07..........09/19/07........10/16/07........--/--/--

Pedro...............TSC > CSC.....09/10/07..........10/04/07........--/--/--........--/--/--

Aussielad...........VSC...........09/11/07..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

Moldovandish........TSC...........09/14/07..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

sara535.............CSC...........09/15/07..........09/17/07........--/--/--........--/--/--

statman78...........NSC...........09/17/07..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

KTAN................NSC...........09/14/07..........09/17/07........--/--/--........--/--/--

Spiderette..........CSC...........09/18/07..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

steve_n_carolyn.....NSC...........09/19/07..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

Wild Wind...........CSC...........09/20/07..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

Little Bear.........VSC...........09/20/07..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

Serenity............NSC...........09/25/07..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

Buckeye6976.........NSC...........09/27/07..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

That is really pretty weird. I live in Florida too. When I update my drivers liscense in miaimi on June this year with 2 years green card which will expire in 2007 too, they just took my picture and a copy of green card and $25, 2 weeks later, the new drivers liscense which has 6 years expiration until 2013 was mailed to me.

Thank you Sonshyne, Scott and Marta. These Chinese foods for you.

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Thank you Colada. Good luck to you.

yes, you approved. Congratulations.

Thank you vsmtghdy very much for your blessings. You are so nice. God bless you.

Thank you MariaDane

Dont worry Scorpinonking, in my case, I dont have joint bank accounts, no proprities, no entire joint tax returns. nothing! Since you have already separated her, I think you better divorce first and then apply divorced waiver unless you do have enought evidence that you was abused.

Thank you scorpionking, Sid and Nancy.

scorpionking, I am sorry to hear you was abused too. My case like yours not psychological abuse. so I have no copies of reports or official records issued by police, courts, medical personnel, school officials, social workers ect. also I dont have any affidavits sworns.

Actually, I didnt know if I was qualified to apply the abuse waiver. I didnt hired a attorney. I just wrote a letter with my poor English told them what I has suffering, how he treat me like dirt, what he had dont at me, what he had said to me.

Yes I have plenty of evidence, 3 part, before the marriage, after the marriage(abuse), after the marriage(bona fide), total 199 pages.

Good luck. I would love to help you anytime if I can.

Thank you ZeeNush, I hope so.

Thank you KarenCee, jasman0717 and mooninlove. Thank you so much. I wish I could find him soon, so I can live like you in happiness. Too many tears for me in these monthes, that's enough.

Thank you mooninlove, I know your story, you are so strong.

touched today. nothing changed. the same words over there.

Can you believe that, i just check my email box and surprised to find that I got an email from USCIS tonight 22:13 and I was approved.

On September 20, 2007, we ordered production of your new card. Please allow 30 days for your card to be mailed to you. If we need something from you we will contact you. If you move before you receive the card, call customer service. You can also receive automatic e-mail updates as we process your case. Just follow the link below to register.

Is that the actual text of the e-mail?

"If we need something from you we will contact you. "

"If you move before you receive the card, call customer service."

Just doesn't sound very official.

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Thank you Richards.

Thank you raymaga. My case is very difference with yours, that is abuse waive. You are so luck have your truly love spoil you not abuse you. Good luck.

FVA and annelizbeth, thank you. Good luck to you!

Thank you upstategal.

I apply I-751 abuse waive and was approved yesterday. I know GC is very immportant to live in here, but there is something more immportant than it, that is LOVE. I wish one day, I could find him, he loves me as I love him, we take care of each other, never apart, enjoy ourlife together, until we die.

Thank you bubibu.