doodlebug

and for the record, It's "Munster".

With a U.

Doodle stop baiting please.

Sarah writes what she wrote and I get a public slap? niice

Just a comment I'd like to make. For those of you that send PMs and have sent me PM's in the past. I find it very un-cool of those that sent PM's about the "lier" that sent money to her husband. I suppose I received one of those PMs in error (everyone go check your outbox) and the person you are speaking of is my cousin (oh yah) and until you know what the situation was, how dare any of you say anything! I will speak out for her because she's so pissed off she can barely stand it. Never ever did she send money for support, if she did whose business is it? She sent money to her husband so his young cousin could receive medical care and money for his cousins mother that was then going through a divorce. I'll not go into details, but I cannot believe how some women on this board act. It's no wonder I prefer not to hang here. I'll be the better person and not say who the PM was from, however there is a little devil sitting on my shoulder telling me to do so.

Peace

I have no idea who you're talking about but me thinks it's not the same person.

'Happy' Wednesday MENA...Glad i stayed away yesterday. Will keep my opinions to myself because God only knows how quickly ill get bashed and then lots of 'people' will jump on the 'bandwagon'

Ill go back to my 'happy' place now. Thank God morning sickness, or all day sickness is lessening, Drs tomorrow. Yay.

Jackie, cant wait to see your hair babes.

I'm glad your morning sickness is waining. That is the worst!!! Now get ready for the HUNGER!!! muhahahahaha

and for the record, It's "Munster".

With a U.

Online - that is a classic in MEAN - do I sound that bitter?

Sorry!

let the flaming begin!!!

oil heat seems to be mainly in the northeast..i do not understand why???

Well it's pretty much in line pricewise as gas. A couple of years ago it was even cheaper than gas heat. I haven't run the numbers lately but it might still be either cheaper or right on par with it.

My tank is about $560 to fill now and normally lasts 1 1/2 months in the dead of winter.

I met my fiance in France.... He was knocking on my 7th floor appartment window

He was doing repair work on the scaffolding outside and thought my window was for the building owner's appartment (I lived right next door to her) After that I started seeing him around the building doing work and we started talking.

Oh that's funny!!!!! lol. One to tell the grandkids for sure!

It is NOVEMBER right? The weather man just said it will reach a high of 90 today

Will be the mid 60's here this afternoon.

I'm here but I'm very upset.

I woke up realizing I have been sold a big sack of lies and I fell hook, line and sinker.

Growing up in the 70's I was fed the belief that when we hit the year 2000 we would be driving FLYING cars and wearing space suits like the ones on the Jetsons.

Well helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, it's 2007 and my car is still driving on the GROUND.

It's just not fair.

Here you go doodle, I put something special inside it too . Passing it on...

aww thanks for the shisha!!! Now we need some tea but I have to go to bed. Us east coasters always have to leave the scene of the crime too early I tell ya!

make love, not war, ... give peace a chance, and all that jazz!

Doodle please let it go for now. I have issued some warnings and I am sure there are apologies to be had once things cool down. It is best that we try and cool off the issue for a bit.

Ok but I still think the peace pipe would come in handy.

Ganga girl pass that pipe will ya? I think we could all use a little right now! lol

It is not always grounds for divorce. You simply don't know what you're talking about then you speak about Islam, peezey. Frankly, as an atheist, you have no basis upon which to claim authority regarding this subject.

grounds for divorce

scroll down, #4

Oh for Pete's sakes almost everyone here has ground for divorce before their husbands get their green card then! That certainly is stretching it a bit imho.

Peezey I tell you, you're a breath of fresh air

Problem?

No just returning the eyeroll from the one you gave me on how to tell you're from Boston thread.

You seem extra sensitive tonight,did someone strike a nerve? Like I really care anyway.

Just havin' fun!

Ya me too because some of this stuff is truly hilarious

Was he horrified that you left him at the altar that first time?

NO but perhaps he was by your husband's Herman Monster face But then again you buy your men, so it is not like you really have any standards.

don't you have some muslim bashing news article to post in OP?

well Doodle

What this is is a bunch of bitchy condescending women who once their husbands got here have nothing better to do with their lives than stalk vj, look for moments to drop in and make those of us in the process IN THE PROCESS DID I SaY IN THE FREAKING PROCESS feel like ######....

If my ### is back here when my husband gets here, please kill me if I do the ####### that these nags do ... They have nothing better to do than hang around here like a bad high school homecoming night and make every one feel like #######

If he got his visa and you dont have nothing good to say to people here... get the hell of the boards...

I am really sick of these hags..

No one makes me feel like #######. You have the power to feel however you want to. YOu don't know these people and they don't know you. For all you know their lives just completely suck azz and this is the only way they get joy, by stating that someone who compassionately helped out their husband bought him. lol.

That's all I'm sayin'. My husband will be the first one to say that it's wrong of him to take money, but when you're in a situation where you are being ousted from your place and you have zippo funds to move and none of your friends have any cash on hand then I think if your wife offers $100 you should take it and forget about the culture thing for now, and it's not grounds for divorce in Islam to take it as I have shown above.

Um, this is like a kid who hits someone and then says "I'm sorry" the second the punch is thrown. If he's taking money he can't think it's all that wrong. Your husband hasn't had a major change in finances since he's met you, right? So he's probably met this situation before. What did he used to do without you?

Apparently you didn't have time to read what I wrote in my post earlier. I won't accuse you of being illiterate since I know you are very smart and normally I admire your intellect. The point of my posting our situation was in fact to show how some men's financial situation does INDEED change so while yes of course they were fine before we met, things happend after the fact. His father died and he suddenly was in charge of his two sisters financially and otherwise. The rent became due and the food needed to be bought in the two weeks of the whole being in the hospital and then dying and burying him and mourning. I guess I should have not offered and puffed up my feathers and said to heck with you but I felt something called compassion for the man. Had I not known him and known of his story I still would have offered since it's the kind thing to do.

After that a few months later they were evicted from the flat they lived in their whole lives because it was in danger of falling down. They had to move and to do so cost some money so again I offered. No biggie. I don't consider that buying my man (nor do I think he looks like a monster and nor do I think he's saying alhumdulilah my ship has come in), but if you all do so be it. I stated before I could care less what anyone thinks since it'll all come out in the end what kind of man I married and what kind of man everyone else married. If the only quality a woman looks for is the dollar sign then I pity them.

Peezey I tell you, you're a breath of fresh air

Problem?

No just returning the eyeroll from the one you gave me on how to tell you're from Boston thread.

You seem extra sensitive tonight,did someone strike a nerve? Like I really care anyway.

Just havin' fun!

Ya me too because some of this stuff is truly hilarious

Was he horrified that you left him at the altar that first time?

NO but perhaps he was by your husband's Herman Monster face But then again you buy your men, so it is not like you really have any standards.

don't you have some muslim bashing news article to post in OP?

i am sure that what a girl wears is the least worry ... my husband was worried about what shoes to wear, what shirt and what pants... made me crazy! hehe

just make sure you have all your paper work together and in order, any pictures and proofs you have, answer all their questions even if they are hard to answer and dont look nervous... you will do fine and since you have some time before the interview ... RELAX i was stressed the week of my husbands interview but oh my goodness! the whole time he was in the embassy I was a nervous wreck laying in bed couldnt sleep... matter of fact i sent a sweet romantic text around 4am my time... thinking it was to my husband... but sent it to my mom!!!

I sent one to Dee one time by accident!

Peezey I tell you, you're a breath of fresh air

Problem?

No just returning the eyeroll from the one you gave me on how to tell you're from Boston thread.

You seem extra sensitive tonight,did someone strike a nerve? Like I really care anyway.

FYI, Ganja_Girl, Muslim women can and do give men money. Khadijah, the Prophet's first wife, was his employer; she married below her social status when she married him, and financed his mission with her own money. Not to mention, their large age gap, 15 years, for those who are also hung up on that. There is precedent for a lot of things we otherwise think are beneath us, and Allah has put no barrier between a woman helping a man financially, should she choose to do so.

No one said muslim women can't choose what to do with their money, but invoking Khadija time and again conveniently skips the fact that a muslim man is to take care of his family and if he doesn't, it is grounds for divorce.

And this is not just confined to Muslim men, my husband is a Copt and he would be horrified if I ever tried to give him money. Much less ask for it. Seems like some of these men finally had their ships come in

Was he horrified that you left him at the altar that first time?

Peezey I tell you, you're a breath of fresh air

Problem?

No just returning the eyeroll from the one you gave me on how to tell you're from Boston thread.

You seem extra sensitive tonight,did someone strike a nerve? Like I really care anyway.

Just havin' fun!

It's a pretty slow day around here, I need SOMETHING to wake me up.

Can't we argue about something for God's sake?

I'm bored. Someone SAY SOMETHING! (and don't reply and say "something")

did you two wish on the same freakin' falling star or something???

since it's working so well wish for my visa will ya? quick before it goes away!!!!!

Peezey I tell you, you're a breath of fresh air

Problem?

No just returning the eyeroll from the one you gave me on how to tell you're from Boston thread.

The reality is people will tell themselves what ever they have to to make themselves feel o.k. with what they choose to do. You never know about someone else, really, until they break your trust. Just becasuse you give money or they ask does not mean anything. Either a person is honorable or they are not and you will find out in the end. Just do not be too naive.

This is exactly the point. I think a muslim man not only asking but accepting a woman's money has a long way to go to prove his credibility.

So the Prophet Mohammed, pbuh, had a long way to go to prove his credibility??

Peezey I tell you, you're a breath of fresh air

I sure hope no one means to, but posters sure seem to be implying in this thread that if there is an exchange of money that there must be something wrong with the man.

Sure, there are a lot of scammers out there and women are being duped. BUT sending money in and of itself does not signal a flawed relationship. All the boasting about how my hsbands doesnt take money - what does that prove?

My thoughts exactly. Sorry to be so crude but it's like a P!ssing contest amoung some women on here about who's husband spent the most on them and who's never took money when times were tough. That's not really the way I would measure a man. Some people's men say that a middle eastern man who would take money from a woman are less than a man, yet those same men are chatting with 16 year old girls on the internet..not exactly the type of person I want to take advice from.

The point of my question is that I know most of the men who live in the poorer countries, (Kuwait appears to have no citizens below poverty level according to the cia guideline, though I don't know how up to date that is), also live with their parents. Is it that big of an achievement to pay for thier fiance/wife when they really have no other responsibilities? Not imho.

Again, I think you have to judge each situation individually and look at ALL the facts. You can just broadsweep and say that if a mena man takes money from his wife then he is less than a man. What happens when he comes to the US and pays it all back and then some? Did he suddenly move up to a "real" man? I know men who pay for everything and they're cheatin' lyin' sob's. You have to look at the entire picture.

That's all I'm saying. Some may come on here and read this stuff and rethink their relationship because *gasp* they sent their husband about $200 one time when things were rough. All because some people on a message board say that they never sent money and their husbands/fiances would never take it. I know for a fact at least one of the women on this thread is lying. Why? To make others on here think you're all that 'cause your husband never took money from you? Honestly who gives a sh!t what other people think? It's YOUR relationship and quite frankly if you're old enough to have traveled and gotten married I *think* you're old enough to know when something smells fishy and when something is authentic. If not then oh well I guess you'll learn a lesson (hopefully) but please don't make a decision based on what some people here and on other boards say. People are not always what they make themselves out to be.

How come only the women who send money to their husbands are treating the ones who don't with such hostility??

You can tell yourself whatever you want, but the fact remains, it is totally, 100% agains the culture and Islam to take money from one's wife, and is grounds for divorce. You make your own decisions and rationalize how you choose and do with your money as you see fit. But for you to be pissy because someone else's husband refuses to take money from a woman (following his religion and culture) is outrageous.

I'm not pissy because someone else's husband refuses to take money from a woman. I'm pissy that some women who's husbands have displayed less than stellar behavior are mocking men who may receive money from women. The gist that i got in the beginning of this thread is that some women were jumping on this bandwagon and couldn't wait to post that their man would NEVER receive money from a woman and not only that but THEIR husbands think that men who do that are less than a man. Meanwhile these same husbands are doing things that imho make them MUCH less of a man. It's just the hipocrasy of it all that got me. Especially the one that outright lied about not giving to her husband when it's right here on vj that she did.

And you can say that *I* am the ones treating *them* with hostility but I'm sorry implying that men who may take a handout every so often from his wife is "less than a man" is quite a hostile statement imho and I'm not one to let a diss like that just go unanswered.

That's all I'm sayin'. My husband will be the first one to say that it's wrong of him to take money, but when you're in a situation where you are being ousted from your place and you have zippo funds to move and none of your friends have any cash on hand then I think if your wife offers $100 you should take it and forget about the culture thing for now, and it's not grounds for divorce in Islam to take it as I have shown above.

It's a good thought about niqaab though. I mean just wearing regular hijab I can't see them having a problem with at all. I wore mine when we went for the interview, though the guy never showed up we did still speak to a woman there who asked a few questions just related to the application. I never felt like she thought any different of me than anyone else. Plus just about every woman in there being interviewed was wearing hijab as well. Maybe there were three or four who weren't out of about 100.

Niqaab though I don't know only because there's so much controversy over having your picture taken without it, etc. It'd be interesting if anyone's had experience with it but I don't think anyone here has. Good luck!

Personally I don't care about what other women do, but when you say

I know alot of women whos husbands pay for everything and they are complete cheaters and jackasses so I highly resent anyone telling me someone doesnt love me because they cannot give me material things.

Now I have a problem, so when you make a statement like that you are talking about most Muslim women, since they never give a man money, so that is just not cool. First off, I can barely support myself, I have done the sending money thing before, with someone else and got badly burned and left with a ton of bills. So I made a promise to myself that I would never ever do that again. I find that if someone says something that hits a sensitive spot people start calling names. If you feel ok with what you do than why even bother trying to defend yourself in a negative manner? I really do wish only for the best for everyone and really if you don't like what someone says, than sure you can defend yourself but you don't have to be nasty.

OK FLAME ME NOW CAUSE I KNOW IT IS COMING.

I'm a muslim woman and I have given my husband money. That's quite a blanket statement that you make about muslim women. The Prophet (PBUH) stated in the hadith narrated by Zaynab al-Thaqafiyyah, the wife of `Abdullah ibn Mas`ud (RAA): "The Prophet (PBUH) told us: `O women, give in charity even if it is some of your jewellery.' She said, `I went back to `Abdullah ibn Mas`ud and told him. `You are a man of little wealth, and the Prophet (PBUH) has commanded us to give charity, so go and ask him whether it is permissible for me to give you charity. If it is, I will do so; if it is not, I will give charity to someone else.' `Abdullah said, `No, you go and ask.' So I went, and I found a woman of the Ansar at the Prophet's door, who also had the question. We felt too shy to go in, out of respect, so Bilal came out and we asked him, `Go and tell the Messenger of Allah that there are two women at the door asking you: Is it permissible for them to give sadaqah to their husbands and the orphans in their care? But do not tell him who we are.' So Bilal went in and conveyed this message to the Prophet (PBUH), who asked, `Who are they?' Bilal said, `One of the women of the Ansar, and Zaynab/' The Prophet (PBUH) asked, `Which Zaynab is it?' Bilal said, `The wife of `Abdullah.' The Prophet (PBUH) said: `They will have two rewards, the reward for upholdithe relationship, and the reward for giving charity.'"³⁹ According to a report given by Bukhari, he said, "Your husband and your child are more deserving of your charity."⁴⁰

And as for being nasty, I think perhaps you may wanna review your siggy before you accuse others. People who live in glass houses and all that good stuff.