nwracer45

OK maybe I didn't make one thing clear. My stepson prior to coming to the US was in a private university since the age of 2. He can read, write and speak Tagalog fluently. He was in the top 90% of every class and I have the report cards to prove it because my wife keeps everything. He also reads English extremely well but while writing and speaking English is where he needs improvement. His main issue is just understanding the slang terms we use and how to use similar words like, were, where, wear, and we're give him problems. He is smart enough understand this and knows he has to work on his English more because his schoolwork and future in America depends on this. My wife however, reads English pretty good, terrible at writing it and has trouble pronouncing many words, doesn't know the true meaning of a lot of words she says and at time creates her own gibberish. This really comes to life in text messages that she sends me. Even our good friends and my stepson tease her on this. I have tried to explain to her that the only way to improve this is to practice. She does work full time in customer service so it has been getting better. So she is actually hurting her son's progress in school by not practicing English with him.

So you want me to learn Tagalog? What for? I had planned to learn it and know many common words. But in my visits to PI I learned most everyone there speaks English anyways and I never had an issue talking with anyone. Well except the older generation were there English is broken but we could still communicate. I even asked my wife to teach me and she just laughed. So why learn it? EVERY Filipino I know speaks English.

I really didn't know where to post this but since my wife is a Filipina I thought I would try here first. We have been married for almost 5 years with the usual ups and downs (seems like more downs) and almost divorced once. She also has a son (my step son) that just turned 12. I have one common complaint that has lasted the entire 5 years. She ONLY speaks to her son in Tagalog even if I am around. In the morning, at night, at the dinner table, in the car. This totally leaves me out of the conversation. You know, the conversations you may enjoy as a family. I don't get to hear about what's going on at school, with friends, girls, or anything. Unless I ask but he gets upset having to repeat everything twice in which I don't blame him. I have asked her a million times to please stop and how it makes me feel but she doesn't care. Her reasoning is that she doesn't want him to forget Tagalog. He is 12, it is not like he is 5. I have pleaded with her to stop and there is plenty of time when I am not with them that she can speak Tagalog with him. He is usually good enough to speak English when I am around so I usually get half of what is going on. Even on the phone to her friends that live around here she only speaks it. I told her I didn't care if she speaks it on the phone to her family in PI.

There is more about the subject but you get my point.

So my question to fellow VJ's out there that are in my general position......am I out of line requesting my wife to speak English when I am at home and around her, which to me is a total lack of respect.....or do you feel it is her right to speak any langue she likes even though she knows it upsets me and she can do it when I am not around?

Thanks.