blushblue2

You will know eventually if he's worthy. take it nice & slow as told, all new relationships

are sweet & lovey dovey in the beginning, know his temperment, family friends & any

kids he may have. Some will chase a visa others love, that happens everywhere.

In any relations set your expectations of total honesty and respect also be sure to be

real friends from there you'll have a lasting relationship...So sis get your own experience

know some of the red flags & be careful about men critiquing other females to you. thats

never a good sign but ppl makes mistakes.

My wife was told when we were young all kinds of stereotyped stuff ( I was a GC holder when

we met via parents) Many of those ppl men diss them & not even marrying some,we have 3

lovely kids, we love madly, have each others back & both our families merged. We went

thru a rough patch & our saving grace was love strength & honesty, she had my back then

and we overcame.Our 1st born graduated high school and we are good. To breed you OP

was not meant to insult but that terminology is,,.... lets call it the vocabulary may need polishing

Best wishes to you

thank you its nice to hear from a guys perspective....

you guys here have probably talked me off the ledge here thank you! I think I was finally able to have get back in tune with our usual conversation yesterday.

you guys here have probably talked me off the ledge here thank you! I think I was finally able to have get back in tune with our usual conversation yesterday.

Based on what you have mentioned so far he does not sound like a bad guy. Most Jamaican men that use women want you to pay for everything, they would not offer to pay for anything!! So i would look at that as a green flag! Let's be frank in all cultures you have good and bad its for us to take our time and learn these individuals as for who they are. He may have been through a lot of bad relationships in Jamaica that is why he may not want another Jamaican woman. There are plenty of other foreign countries with woman he could decide to be with if he wanted to but finds you very special. But take your time as everyone has stated and let everything work out its self.

his comment about the women in his culture just put a bad taste in my mouth, im thinking so does he only date women "foreigners" for their benefits to him? i just know as a black woman who has had my share of heartaches from black guys i would never downplay the entire black male population. maybe i took it to deep and tried to get him to give me more of an insight to what he meant but he didn't want to continue.

Oh yea. I learned about JLP vs PNP, JA geography, and definitely the music....our biggest common ground. I'm sure you will enjoy learning the culture and he will appreciate you even more for doing so. I wish you the best!

music seems to be what brought us together lol he was "shocked" that I could keep up with him on the dance floor as that's what he does for a living ....

*he did mention the breeding/ love very early on*

*he seems slightly jealous whenever i mention going out for the weekend

Those things are actually good things. from a cultural standpoint. So two stars

really? you think the jealousy can be considered a good thing? he will call several times while im out then ask me the next day several times on what i did the night before, he says its because im beautiful and he knows im here getting hit on all the time *

You're not waiting for him to mess up. You are taking time to really get to know him and be sure he is genuine and sincere. Big difference.

Learning patweh and how they use certain words and phrases eliminates any misconception/miscommunication.

You don't need to speak patweh. I rarely do. (except when my niece and nephew beg me to. I can't resist them and they think it is hilarious!)

The key is understanding it. Knowing what he means by certain words and phrases. Understanding what is being talked about around you. You don't need to depend solely on him to teach you. Google Patois/patweh dictionaries. Watch Jamaican videos.

ive found some helpful site and videos also he is always caught of guard when i just throw something out that he wouldn't expect me to know.

You can meet men in the states who can use you as well. I would say take the same precautions you would with any relationship. Some men are looking for a step up and others want a better life and to help their family but that doesn't mean he won't genuinely care for you. Just be mindful... obviously you will have to visit him to get to know him. Is he taking you around his family and friends, can you visit/stay with him at his home or does he want to stay with you in the resort (you will have to get to know his way of life as well and not use the excuse of staying within the comforts of the resort), are you having to pay for everything and pay his way when you visit, is he asking you to send $$, clothes, or other goods, are you doing all the calling or is it reciprocal? Ask him how he would feel if you moved there instead of him coming where you are. You also want to be sure he doesn't have a wife/girlfriend or kids he's not telling you about (although he could get away with lying about that-for a while anyway), Ask him hasn't anyone ever applied for a visa on his behalf before. These are just a few things I can think of to help guide you. Lastly, just take your time. If it's genuine, there's no rush.

Yes be careful and SLOW! Do not ignore those red flags!! Message me if you want to go deeper into it Same situation. Met a man at the resort I stayed at. Very fast relationship

Take it very very VERY slow. He works at a resort. He meets women every single day. I have traveled to Jamaica 8 times. I sit on the beach in my lawn chair and watch the men work the foreigners. Now, I am not saying your beau is at all like this but please please be very careful. Do not be smitten with all their loving, sweet words and accent. VIsit him, stay with him, not always on a resort. Learn the cutlure. Learn patois/patweh. Meet his friends and family. Keep your eyes and ears open.

Did he really say "mi wan fi breed yuh"? lol Slow down yardie!

thank you all for the responses, I do want to make sure I go into this eyes open of course to protect myself but I also want to have him doing double the work to make me fall for him and have to fight off stereotypes that he doesn’t even know that I’m critiquing him on. Some things I’ve done

*probably googled every topic on Jamaican men from using foreigners to cheating to scams lies etc. (which most aren’t good)

*once I realized I was "falling" I started my fbi snooping and looked through all of his social media accounts for clues and indicators.

(Everything that I found I asked about in casual conversation and with me already knowing the answers he answered everything truthfully) and he has shared few pics of us from my trip on his social media.

I’ve visited once since initially meeting him in July, and when I went back in august we stayed in his hometown but at a hotel as his family lives in a county area. This was an impulse visit as I wanted to see him right away and i did agree to pay for the hotel/ flight. I only stayed for 4 days and was able to meet a cousin his aunt and uncle briefly. i did get to experience a lot more of the culture while there way more than the resort of course. He has been helpful with teaching patios i can understand most of what he is saying when he's having another conversation but feel like i sound crazy when i speak it. and since we've been dating we do talk everyday on each of his breaks he calls to make sure I’m ok and usually talk at night until we fall asleep.

I’m set to go back in a few weeks and he has stressed that he is saving money to be able to support the trip some as he doesn’t want me to pay for everything, but i know that most of it i can afford i know what resorts there pay. But i also want him to be the MAN so that one’s a battle.

Some of the red flags

*he did mention the breeding/ love very early on*

*he seems slightly jealous whenever i mention going out for the weekend

*he is quite curious to the price of things/ how jobs work etc (but i think the curiosity is natural)

*he has asked for phone credit but never for money or anything

* I don’t like his outlook on Jamaican women as he claims he will never date another one because they are all lazy use men etc. (I’m black American by the way) and his last relationship ended earlier this year was with a Jamaican girl.

*we are close in age but I am 5 years his senior.

Keep the input coming and continue to share your experiences good and bad.

Did he really say "mi wan fi breed yuh"? lol Slow down yardie!

yes lol and my initial reaction was to get offended i ask was he referring to me as a dog

So true, especially if you get to spend real time around family/friends. That's why it's important, like you said, to learn the culture and the language as well. The more you know, the better informed...

oh sorry I didn't notice I put male I have to correct it and yes im happy to see so many supporters that commented i honestly stumbled across the website and wasn't sure if my question would be overlooked but i appreciate all the advice as this is all sooo new and scary to a point.

Just remember the author of the book " How Stella got her Groove back" . If you cannot Google it and read the out come of that relationship.

yes I just rewatched that movie like I was studying for an exam and i'm watching him for all the red flags but feel sort of bad because its like im waiting on him to mess up based on all the stereotypes .

I recently met what appears to be the love of my life while in Jamaica. please share your experience with dating Jamaican men as everything I am reading online has me wanting to run towards the door and I also feel that it is shaping the way I look at him. when I talk to him everything feels so genuine. its only been about 3 months and we talk everyday at least 3-4 times a day. he works at the resort I stayed at and the rest is history. he did " fall in love" pretty fast has mentioned marriage and "breeding" me. thanks in advance.