pantonia

Hello, first and foremost, I'm so sorry you're going through this. This is a time you should be rejoicing by having your fiancé there, not going through all the stress and sadness. I don't think his behavior is culture shock. I am an American Citizen and I have been living in GHANA with my husband for the better part of 6 years. There are DEFINITE cultural differences here ...so unbelievably different than the US that I think I still might be in culture shock myself! However, that being said, the rants and hissy fits that he throws are NOT due to culture shock. YEs, I hate most of the food here and it makes me grumpy at times when I don't want to cook with the same things over and over again because of lack of variety. And YES I get totally miserable going out in the heat when I am not used to this kind of weather....I hate seeing dirt and rubble everywhere I look instead of green grass and clean sidewalks....BUT that in no way shape or form makes me be disrespectful to my husband. It does not make me think that I should not say thank you to my husband or appreciate every LITTLE thing he does to make me more comfortable here. His behavior demonstrates characteristics that seem to be embedded in him and I wonder how he was able to hide them from you for so long. It's one thing for him to point out a few things to his friends about what he does not like about the US, but to have such animosity towards the country, I'd be concerned with living with someone like that. Its not a healthy environment. I know you probably feel like you've invested so much time and money on this relationship already...but honey, the bleeding has to be stopped. Cut your losses and let him go back to his beloved Cuba. Wishing you the strength and courage to make the right decision. Best of luck!

Are you staying alone or with parents or friends , because when I come to America on k1 we stayed with his parents and it sucks. I I hate everything there I even didn't recognise my husband , I was mean sometimes , and I cry after because I didnt recognise the person I was , I hate food everything the house was crowded , I cry everyday because I see my hubby sad because I was sad trying to pretend to be happy for while so to cheer him up but I fail , I thought when I come to America I would be the happiest person in the world like growing up adult but no it wasn't , I wanted to go home asap , my inlaw they try their best but not for me. I missed home badly , I was thinking I am loosing my mind like hey I am in America land of dream but it doesn't feel that way why .people would kill to be here and I am ungrateful monster , then I cry but to go back home I would put my parents in shame and myself people would lough at me . I was becoming a monster , to save my hubby and family I wanted to desapear . But my husband act and we moved to our own place now I am happy I am free bird I have my own space. I am learning to love America I am sweetest and kind wife I treat my husband like a king , my mouth speak good things, I want to be the best wife I can be and happiest one . My husband is handsome kind and hardworking I love everything about him, I am kind and loyal person down to earth but home sick is the worst feeling in the world , if not for my husband passion I don't know how we will be , just be kind and find out what will work for you

Since he came on K1 and you haven't married, i recommend you let him go home and move on.
You dont want to spend your life trying to make him like the place/ or be 'happy'.
I came with K1 as well and I do understand, when i open my wife's fridge to cook, there was literally nothing i could cook because i wasn't familiar with the groceries here. and living in the suburbs being isolated was tough. but i learnt to get things done. i got a cook book and worked on adjust to stuff here.
i didnt really complain, i was obvious i wasn't happy though.
The extent he expresses dislike for the place is not acceptable.
Then again, i think you should communicate with him and let him know how his actions make you feel.
I use to tease my wife about a subject, and she didn't say she didn't like that.
We later went for counselling and she expressed how my 'tease' makes her feel, and i was very very shocked, because i did not know and she did not express dislike for this either.
so let him know, once you let him know and he keeps on doing so, then you have to advice yourself, this country is stressful enough by default.
Wish you the best.

When were you planning to get married?
I know it's only been two weeks, but my impression is that unless he gets his act together and tries to treat you with a bit more of respect, it's kind of useless to keep on going like this.
Sit down with him. Tell him you see he is not happy, and that he is free to go back to Cuba if he wishes - you'll buy his ticket. Don't be overly emotional. If he's in love with you, this will be a reality check.
My impression is that if you keep on feeding his ego, he will not bother to make any effort to make your relationship work.

Agreed, toddler behavior not cultural. Any discussion about it ends in him telling me I do not understand Cubans and Cuban culture.

First of all: stop the charity. He DOES NOT need clothes for over $1000 dollar (unless he brought no clothes at all). I am not making money at the moment and I'm relying on my husband for things I need and I would never ask him to buy me expensive things.
And you have to tell him that it doesn't matter if you're a couple or strangers: it's "please" and "thank you".
Stop trying so hard to please him if he's treating you awful, it only shows him that you're willing to take it and his behavior won't stop. He is acting like a child so treat him like one: set boundaries.
As long as you're not showing him that his behavior is unacceptable he is going to keep disrespecting you and will walk all over you. Put your foot down, you can do it! I hope the two of you can work this out.

I'm sorry to say this, but his behavior is not about being homesick. He is just completely disrespectful to you and you should stop serving him everything on a silver platter and bring him back to earth.

I am just had to tell someone, so excited got a text and email they recieved our case and is accepted, yay!! and its going to california service center, hope thats a good sign.