MRS1

The folks here all offer very good advice and insight. It's very touching to read the experiences of the many couples who have had to endure exceptional circumstances and financial and emotional sacrifice and very long periods of separation. It reaffirms my belief in my own relationship with my wife and her son.
In your case, your lack of a relationship with the child of your fiancée is most likely the reason you have experienced denial. You need to establish a strong and loving relationship with him in the same way as your own daughter. If you love this woman as much as you should, then giving up should never be an option. It simply should have never crossed your mind. While it is normal to have doubt, your love for this woman AND her son should and must supersede all thought of defeat or simply walking away. I know that none of us on this post would ever consider what you have expressed here.
Spend more time with your fiancé. Develop a meaningful, paternal relationship with her son. If possible, write letters. Take photos together. Love her. Don't give up. People in love don't ever give up. However, if your fiance's commitment to you is not strong, or if you have doubts, why then that's another story altogether and your expression of defeat makes sense.
I suggest that you hire an immigration attorney who can alleviate the stress associated with your ordeal, and who will help clarify to you your previous errors, much in the very same way as the excellent folks on this board have pointed out.

***Moved from IR-1/CR-1 Process & Procedures to US Embassy & Consulate Discussion; topic is about this phase of the process.***
**Moderator hat off**
I have never seen any official requirement anywhere that requires the petitioner's presence at the interview. The operator you spoke with on the phone is simply reading from a script which will only state the official requirements.
What you are reading on VJ comes from people's own personal experience. For some countries, the petitioner's presence at the interview has become a de facto requirement meaning that the Embassy or Consulate wants to speak with the petitioner before they issue a visa. Since this is move is discretionary, it will not appear in any official list of requirements nor will any phone operator mention it. In countries where this practice appears to be commonplace, it won't matter how much evidence is brought to the interview nor how much evidence was sent when the petition was initially filed.

I strongly suggest you go. We just had our interview this week and if I (petitioner) wasnt there, my fiance would have never made it to the interview window. And even during the interview I was asked the most questions. I guess she asked me about 10 questions and she asked him 3. We were pretty relaxed so it just seemed like a regulr conversation. I was asked the standard ?s like his daughters name...but I was also asked when did he last cut his hair. Nothing difficult.
What to expect? We arrived about an hour early and we were 3rd in line. There are 2 sets of lines. Make sure you read the signs, dont rely on what others are telling you. The security didnt take long to get through. They call your #, check you in and then call your # again when its time to interview. The AC was blowing pretty strong.

Waiting to contact the NVC is a matter of patience, I think, but as I have experienced, calling them isn't necessarily going to expedite any one element of the process. I would suggest waiting until you have received confirmation from the NVC that they have received it. This should happen within the next week or so, perhaps as much as three weeks. Once you have received confirmation, it's a waiting game. My two documents were reviewed quickly. (I sent them on 30 August and I received the third N/A on 17 September.) The important thing is that you are thorough and careful in sending all documents and in filling out forms. Don't rush any of these things, or fail to read over the instructions carefully. When in doubt, call the NVC and ask questions. Write them down as questions come to you. And as your teachers always told you, no question is too small to be asked.
Once your civil and financial documents are received and you have confirmation from the NVC, you can rest easy. Learn to have more patience than usual. I have found the CSR at the NVC fairly helpful if not reassuring, depending on who you speak with and the nature of your call.

Petitioning for a child at a later date is not necessarily a problem. I will be petitioning for my step-down to follow as soon after my wife is approved. He us in the fourth grade, and we decided to let him finish the year in a private school before he arrives. He will be living with my suster-in-law who lives just seconds from the excellent school.
I think you need to demonstrate more effort to get to know the child. What folks have stated here us mostly correct. I just think that you need to place the child next to your wife as a matter of importance in your life. You need to feel this instinctively. You're a father of children. You shouldn't need any of us to tell you this.

The folks here all offer very good advice and insight. It's very touching to read the experiences of the many couples who have had to endure exceptional circumstances and financial and emotional sacrifice and very long periods of separation. It reaffirms my belief in my own relationship with my wife and her son.
In your case, your lack of a relationship with the child of your fiancée is most likely the reason you have experienced denial. You need to establish a strong and loving relationship with him in the same way as your own daughter. If you love this woman as much as you should, then giving up should never be an option. It simply should have never crossed your mind. While it is normal to have doubt, your love for this woman AND her son should and must supersede all thought of defeat or simply walking away. I know that none of us on this post would ever consider what you have expressed here.
Spend more time with your fiancé. Develop a meaningful, paternal relationship with her son. If possible, write letters. Take photos together. Love her. Don't give up. People in love don't ever give up. However, if your fiance's commitment to you is not strong, or if you have doubts, why then that's another story altogether and your expression of defeat makes sense.
I suggest that you hire an immigration attorney who can alleviate the stress associated with your ordeal, and who will help clarify to you your previous errors, much in the very same way as the excellent folks on this board have pointed out.