kitsulli

Yes she would be coming over from Canada. I originally posted in this thread not realizing everywhere may be different. I didn't even know if it was the specific country you're trying to leave or the us that does the exams, in which case obviously if it was the us all requirements would be the same. I'm very new to this, I just recently really started researching which is when I joined these boards bc i was just convinced it wouldn't ever happen and was looking for reassurance. I posted it somewhere but idk if anyone noticed but we are only 45 minutes from one another (buffalo ny to hamilton on) so it was beginning to discourage me that a relationship that is currently so easy as far as seeing one another could take such a horribly wrong turn. I understand completely why they wouldn't want certain people in, and I know there's no excuse in their eyes as to why someone may of had a substance abuse problem, but it just saddened me bc she has tried so hard to get to where she is today and only ever did anything trying to block out EXTREME trauma (and obviously got to the point it was out of her hands which is when she seeked help) so I guess that's where I got a bit defensive in areas where I felt people may be being a bit judgemental of people's choices and what type of people would make them. It also upsets me that 2 people who are madly in love and spend half of their weeks together already for 4 years may get denied yet my cousin down south has now married 2 Brazilians who were down there illegally working and no problem with either, neither coming from a very good back ground on top of it all. I guess thats just life and the luck of the draw sometimes =/

Correct me if I'm wrong, and I know that noone knows for sure and that there's no way of telling how things may go but after reading that what I got out if it is that if someone has had a drug problem, they must have seeked rehabilitation and have been clean for over a year with no convictions or drug police reports it isn't automatically dismissible. I just don't get how they could give that opportunity in that situation but not someone who smoked pot one time years ago. I know every case and situation is different, I just didn't want to feel like it's automatically off the table if there's any history of it at all. I am sorry if I came off defensive, being a same sex couple I already have fears of judgement during the process. I get so many different sorts of responses on here, some that totally shatter my hope and others who were in the same situations and say that their entire process was a breeze. I guess each case/scenerio is different. Depends on the people you deal with and the moods they are in that day. I didn't mean to sound bitchy, just trying to find some hope.

And as far as states that allow it for medical purposes, your issue can be as small as something like anxiety or chronic headaches. In California you can get it for almost anything. Are they never allowed to immigrate anywhere?

That's life? Teenagers experiment? Not when I was a teenager. Pretty sure there's an amazing group of teenagers around the world that manage to also never do drugs or get themselves into trouble. Just because some do, doesn't mean everyone does.

When it comes to being truthful on this medical, the US government doesn't give you a waiver for past mistakes, no matter how long ago they were. Is it fair? Probably not, but that's the way it goes.

No need for anyone to get their panties in a bunch haha. I'll restate that and say ALMOST everyone (never said everyone) besides the group of amazing teenagers who have never done drugs or gotten into trouble. I don't really think it's fair to place judgement as if the ones who have are "bad seeds" but I can say that everyone I know, of all ages and backgrounds, friends, family, even teachers, doctors, nurses, cops, (among many other respectable jobs) have atleast smoked pot. The most intellegent people I have come across have popped adderall to stay up to study for tests. Is it right? No. But I don't think someone is considered not "amazing" if they have done something once in their life. I guess I have just surrounded myself with all the wrong people tho. I understand the legal side of it all, however if someone currently isn't using, has no criminal history and can pass a drug test shouldnt get dismissed if they admit that they EVER did something. Although saying this will probably piss people off, I don't see why trying something like marijuana as a teenager places a stigma on them in some eyes, yet drinking alcohol, something that makes people do TERRIBLE things that I've never seen a little pot do to someone is ok bc it's legal. And as far as the places it is legal, are the people who use it there doing something wrong in your eyes? Everyone will have their own opinions. I'm gonna stay confident that it wouldn't affect things for most people as long as they are honest and aren't currently using when it comes to immigration. In fact my gf works at an upscal restaurant owned by an entire family of immigrants who left Thailand bc of the crystal meth epidemic over there that's pushed upon everyone by employers to get them to be awake and work longer hours, wanting to get themselves away from it after being talked into it themselves at times. The idea of "ever" just seems a little ridiculous to me. I guess this is a very confrontational issue, and I would like to not feel judged for what I believe, have done 20 years ago, or for the people I know so I will keep my mouth shut now.

Haha my anxiety issues clearly don't help the situation. I do need to just stay positive and confident, I almost don't even want to post in other forums on here anymore bc I feel like some people are discouraging me and almost arguing facts I already know. I mentioned we alternate every other week going to one another staying 3 days at a time and someone said whoa! I would stop pushing your luck with that. I explained how actually that equals out to her being here around 90 days a year which is half the 6 months that's allowed and we NEVER get hassled, in fact it seems easier the more we cross. I was also told if they find out she has a history of drug use they will most likely make her see an assigned psychiatrist and ban her for a year from being able to enter the us. Our presidents have admitted to smoking marijuana in the past, among other drugs! So I don't see why they would be so harsh on someone who is recovered and could pass drug tests if needed. I should probably just stick to asking the ones who have been so kind and seem to relate to my situation better for any questions I have in the future. I thank all who have been helpful and supportive so much for that! I'm gonna stop worrying about those small details and only ask questions if I have any on paperwork/things more directed to the process itself.

(Which I'm sure you already know most of that stuff!)

Oh I know that she wouldn't be able to cross that's why I said we could continue seeing each other but without her visiting here if she had a ban. And as far as the visiting, we have been doing it for 4 years, talked to many officers about it along the way, Canadians don't need a visitor visa like other countries do and they can be here up to 6 months per calender year, so with alternating every other week for 3 days it's about half that total a year that she's here (half of 56 weeks is 28, times 3 is 84, then give and take a few days). With the nexus pass you can drive right through without having to stop for questioning if you are a frequent visitor, so you actually seem to get less issues going more often I've found.

Well if that's the case and there's no way around it I guess on the bright side we are only 45 min away so we will just have to continue what we've been doing, besides her turns coming here. I live in buffalo ny, i can literally walk to canada which is where she's at. We alternate spending 3 days a week with one another, they don't even ask us any questions at the border anymore.

I just randomly came across a post where someone was saying their spouse got denied permanantly for admitting to smoking pot in the past. If someone smoked it 20 years ago the answer would be yes if you were being honest, I feel like that would eliminate alot of people considering a majority of people have atleast done it once in their life. The reason this whole thing upset me is bc my gf is a recovered addict, she has went through long term rehab to overcome it and that is in her past. After reading about it going that wrong for someone smoking pot ever in their life how is something like her situation gonna be treated?!?!

I don't understand reading that people got banned when they said yes when asked if they EVER used. I mean, if someone smoked pot 20 years ago they would have to technically say yes. This is really confusing me bc I feel like almost everyone has tried one thing or another at some point in their lives. Teenagers experiment, that's life!

And when you say she admitted using marijuana in the past do they actually ask it you've EVER used it? I mean if someone smoked pot 20 years ago you would have to say yes you have used it in the past if you were being honest.

Do they automatically test for marijuana/other drugs? My gf, soon to be fiance is a recovered addict, has completed rehab programs and all, is that gonna affect everything?!

Thank you. Those are all the things I needed to hear.

And with her crossing to get married and being honest about coming back home and has no intentions of staying it's clear you're gonna shoot for the cr1, do they frown upon that wondering why you can't do the K1 like, why you're in such a hurry to get married rather than go about it that way? Those would be the questions I wouldn't know how to answer.

Ok so I need to stop reading things on other sites bc it's discouraging me haha. I keep reading that you should NEVER come here and get married then return bc the next time you go to cross they will say you lied about your intent for entering last time and not be allowed back. So I'm assuming the answer to that is to just be honest and her say she's coming to get married not just visiting. I just need reassurance from you guys haha, and I will NOT be looking at any other boards haha. Why do so many people make things seem so difficult if not impossible?!

Okay good I'm feeling very confident now. It's all so overwhelming at first, not knowing where to even begin. I've gotten the best answers from this post and you guys than anywhere else I've posted and actually answered all my questions not only half so I have to ask again haha. I may have more questions in the future and if so I'm referring back to here

Thank you so much! I'll def start gathering things to prove our relationship! Since they don't stamp a passport when you cross and i have no flight tickets etc since its so close i wonder if there's any way to get records from customs how much it has been happening for years? It's in the computer we are in a relationship, they barely even ask the purpose anymore. I doubt anyone specifically knows this answer haha. I'm just spewing out questions left and right. We have plenty of pictures, letters, emails, phone history, bank statements showing how frequently i go there and purchase things...all dating back up to 4 years when we originally met as just friends (we have been a couple for a year and a half) Being able to prove we consistently crossed for so long would definitely prove the legitimacy of it so I'll have to figure that one out.

I cross to pick her up even on her visits to me (she buses into niagara falls and I grab her and bring her back) they never give any hassle about that, just nervous for the time we cross together and have to say we are getting married or returning her and having to say we got married during her visit.

Wow you guys are really calming so many anxieties I had. After so many people in my life acting like us being together was unrealistic and always hearing horror stories of people having an awful time I really needed some positivity. Thank you! I'm gonna begin looking into the CR1 instead of the K1 now. I hope you didn't mind my million questions, all of this was so good to hear. Any other feedback on getting the ball rolling or the actual process will still be appreciated! The more I know the more confident I will be. Everyone in the K1 forums/posts (which was all I was looking at considering I thought that's what I would be doing) made it seen like the CR1 was an awful idea. It sounds ideal to me,especially given my situation. And she will be beyond excited to hear she won't have to wait two years to return to visit any friends and family!

Twochickies so are you saying getting married in canada would be easier? I wouldn't get the same problems saying I was crossing to marry there?

And bmc, it's nice to hear from someone who is from the exact same area! You know how easily it is to go there since we are so close, that's something most people can't say bc they are flights away from the significant others. My biggest worry was just being able to see eachother during the processing, after it being so easy and frequent it would be terrible if it was restricted. Others are used to not visiting often so it would be alot easier to have to be apart for a period of time if you weren't already so caught up in seeing one another so much. Also, I've been meaning to get a nexus, how do I do that? Do I say it's just bc I visit my gf so often?

I am really thinking the cr1 would be our best bet. We aren't really in a hurry, we have been doing our trips/visits every week for a year and a half already so the benefits of it being cheaper, allowing her to work and cross right away would definitely be worth continuing what we've been doing in the mean time.

I have a pretty basic question , when she crosses over, the visit that we would plan to get married, what does she say, just it's a normal visit? Bc I know it's huge not to lie but also that they will probably turn you around if you go with those intentions (from what I've been reading) and when she returns does she just say she got married while she was here? Honestly I know I keep getting told to just look up the processes on here and it's great to see a time line but what are the very first steps, let's say doing the cr1. I feel like I don't even know where to begin. Just feeling overwhelmed =/

I guess I'll keep researching and see what's best! I don't know if the longer visits would be allowed on the cr1. She wants to try and do her allowed 6 months while things process (going home here and there throughout it) I'll look around the site some more and see what I can find on the pros and cons of both.

Ok so all in all,for my specific situation a k1 is definitely the way to go over a cr1? The more I read around the site the more I see some say one is the better choice than the other and vice versa.

So all in all,for my specific situation a k1 is definitely the way to go over a cr1? The more I read around the site the more I see some say one is the better choice than the other and vice versa.