jessiepatt

ok....so to YOU it could look like the classical scam story. BUT what if it ISN'T? WHAT IF these two are truely in love and accept each other unconditionally...like LOVE does??? Just because YOU are cynical, or skeptical...who are YOU to put your personal opinions out here to try to bring OP and husband down? Negativity is NOT what this website is about. VJ is about SUPPORTING others through their journey. WE are NOT the Embassy, and guess what? As of yet,,,,the Embassy workers ARE HUMANS still....(in the future who knows....) and they have hearts. They will see/feel their Love is genuine and will APPROVE them! We are here to HELP OP's and to promote Positivity and Acceptance. There is NO racism, or age-ism or any other -ism here. IF these two LOVE each other, and she decides she wants to marry from another country then that's HER business.

It's about RESPECT..."If you can't say anything nice, Don't say anything"

Nice comment. Very nice.

You guys rock. THANK YOU!!! I'm breathing a sigh of relief and I really appreciate the great explanation, especially your clear technical definition, Eboluwa! ?????

You guys rock. THANK YOU!!! I'm breathing a sigh of relief and I really appreciate the great explanation, especially your clear technical definition, Eboluwa! ?????

My boss at work came from Japan, and insists NEVER, NEVER risk having a denied visa on your (my fiancé's) record, so since 80% of the posts insist we will be denied for our K1... Should I withdraw it before it goes to USCIS? Is a withdrawn petition just as bad as a denied one? We would either re-submit another K1, further down the road, or marry in Accra and submit a CR1 after more time and face time passes. Thoughts???

Man, this kind of info is invaluable! Thanks both of you very much.

Man, this kind of info is invaluable! Thanks both of you very much.

GREAT advice. Thank you so much!?

You might have moved past that question but I can guarantee you that USCIS has not. USCIS doesn't care what you feel or what your daughter feels. What they care about is evidence of a bona fide relationship. At the moment you have one very short visit to back that up. The poster upthread who is in a similar age difference seems to have three years of relationship evidence. Those are the kinds of things USCIS likes to see, not love at first meeting.

Point taken. We are now planning for a second and possibly third trip. We didn't know that our story, and genuine process, was not going to satisfy the criteria of the USCIS, until now.

Filing the I-129f is not your problem at the moment. The worst is that it gets turned down but you can always file again or get married and file the I-130 petition. To me the bigger issue is whether this man is being honest with you. Your daughter has not been impacted yet but she will be if your fiance does not have honest intentions.

I have an honest fiance, thank you for your concern. What I'm trying to communicate with you is that my daughter is invested in him becoming her step dad, already. She is very excited, and though they've only communicated via phone and Skype, she already feels love from him and for him. So a false intention on his part is not the only way she could be impacted. Frankly, BaronB, we have moved past the question of suspicion.

hi bro i am also in the same situation as you are my wife is 30 years older us citizen. but we are in 3 years of true relationship and married already waiting for my interview dont worry for the age gap if u have true love you already know about your wife everything so just prepare yourself for the paperwork

Hi Brother. I am the woman in the couple, just so you know! Your words are encouraging and true. I pray blessings for your marriage, interview, and success in your entire process. Thanks again.

Ebunoluwa. Wow, so much to take in from your last post. Bucket loads of experience and wisdom, I see. Thank you for all you shared, I believe it is from a place of genuine care. I would like to begin a private conversation at some point. Thanks for the offer. ? I hope your marriage continues to be blessed and stands up to all challenges that come.

To InHisTime. Your encouragement is heart felt and received. Thank you.

You just need a plan, nothing in immigration is quick, so there is time.

He obviously need to work on his education and his employment. Presumably they have night schools he can go to to catch up, otherwise what would he do when he got here except flip burgers?

And there is the relationship issues.

So think of it in a much longer time frame and anything is possible.

Yeah, I'm just wiped out today, for sure.

You're not going to like what I am going to say but I don't think you currently have anywhere near enough evidence of a bona fide relationship. I would suggest the two of you spend more time with each other before making such a big decision. How well do you really know this man who is more than half your age? Have you spoken to your friends and family about this and how do they feel?

The fact is that there are lots of scam artists in poor African countries looking for a route to Europe or the US. USCIS knows this and as others have pointed out there are too many reg flags right now. You say you have a daughter - have you considered what impact this would have on her if it turned out to be a scam? Please think this through.

Yeah, I'm not liking your post. Basically, it's like...duh?

No one stresses this more that I do. Now that my daughter is involved she will be impacted one way or another, and that's why I've wanted to work so hard at being succesful. But, I get what most posts are saying about my rather ignorant filing of the I-129 f, with such a short passing of time...etc. Hey, I did my best to meet him before I introduced them, I followed my heart, used my head, sought counsel, informed family and friends, and now I'm blind sided by the facts here on this site. I'm so sad. I am grateful for the info., that's for sure! I'm at one step at a time.

I do hope he finds job soon so he could help you financially. He's 25 then should be productive at this time to help you with all the immigration expenses.

No one could exactly predict the outcome of your relationship / engagement / visa request.

I do understand your feelings, being in love. Love can make us blind. But take good care of your heart as you have a little girl to take care.

I agree with the suggestions here, more face time interactions, knowing him so well....slowly but surely. As noted, Ghana embassy is tough and I think it is for your own good as there were lots of cases of fraud. The change of attitude / heart and mind could happen once he comes to the states or receives his GC.

Three days meeting in person to get into an engagement is quite unbelievable and risky. Talking online and over the phone is not enough to measure his sincerity. He is unemployed then he has all time to be online everyday but for me that isn't enough at all. Hope he helps by getting a job and aim to help you for the cost of travel visits and immigration expenses. It should take efforts from him as well.

No one could actually tell the best thing you should do... but I know, in your heart... you know what is best for you. Pray to God and I am sure He will direct and give you signs for reflection.

Best wishes !

The whole scenario is one where he is highly frustrated at not getting educated or having outlets for employment. I saw the way people struggle for a living when I was there. I'm just learning so much today on this site, and I'm kind of overdoing all these replies, I know. I just feel shell shocked at how uninformed I am about the way I filed my petition, and now I'm not seeing practical options for as much face time as everyone says we'll need. Facing a possible break up is now something we have discussed. Break up? - broken hearts, dashed dreams and dazed head. I just highly underestimated the time and expense it will take to acheive our desired plans. Just really mistaken... He is quite intelligent, and I pray he gets the right opportunities in life to fulfill his potential. My life is winding down, and finding love would be quite a nice thing - that would be for both of us. So today I try to rest for a moment. Thanks for your input!

What is his profession/qualifications, on of the issues of the K1 is that you can not work for at least 3 months so he needs savings to tidy himself over.

I was planning on including him in my household overhead until he secured work.

I do hope he finds job soon so he could help you financially. He's 25 then should be productive at this time to help you with all the immigration expenses.

No one could exactly predict the outcome of your relationship / engagement / visa request.

I do understand your feelings, being in love. Love can make us blind. But take good care of your heart as you have a little girl to take care.

I agree with the suggestions here, more face time interactions, knowing him so well....slowly but surely. As noted, Ghana embassy is tough and I think it is for your own good as there were lots of cases of fraud. The change of attitude / heart and mind could happen once he comes to the states or receives his GC.

Three days meeting in person to get into an engagement is quite unbelievable and risky. Talking online and over the phone is not enough to measure his sincerity. He is unemployed then he has all time to be online everyday but for me that isn't enough at all. Hope he helps by getting a job and aim to help you for the cost of travel visits and immigration expenses. It should take efforts from him as well.

No one could actually tell the best thing you should do... but I know, in your heart... you know what is best for you. Pray to God and I am sure He will direct and give you signs for reflection.

Best wishes !

Oh, Daniel! Sorry - yes I was. I'm happy to read you have continued with your process and are close to your next interview. Blessings!!!

He is unemployed.

Efia - girl, your story made me scream out loud! Not denied after ALL THAT???? Whoa, I feel your pain. So sorry. If I might ask, what is your situation at present?

Yes, Ebunoluwa. Just this morning we spoke about the means and reality of a year's stay for me in Accra. The biggest concern he raised was the rough conditions in elementary school with bullying and teasing from kids. My daughter is African American, so she could find some enjoyment from being in a school with African kids, but she's also super sensitive and gentle. We also spoke of the cost of rental housing at present. But we are giving that idea some serious thought.

Thanks Matt. That's some good, free legal info there. Just not good news! 30 years would be problematic. Yikes! Can expensive legal help illuminate such a problem, after all? Just don't have those funds, anyway. I love your concept of gender discrimination - also age discrimination comes to mind. Definitely not wealthy enough to pursue suing the USCIS though. ?

Ebunoluwa - again, such wise and potent council. Thank you.

Aha! Alas, no lawyer. Don't have those kind of funds. ? thus the seeking out of direction of this website! I respect your suggestion and only wish we could afford that luxury. Thanks for asking.

Yes! My life has been a late bloomer situation, that's why it's challenging for me to act my age! Her dad and I were separated for 2 years and now divorced for 3. What a huge blessing this engagement has been for all 3 of us, (him, me and my daughter that is) but...learning more about the Ghanaian consulate has me pretty perplexed!!!

The financial burden is on me. It is an opportunity of a lifetime for both of us, in different ways, but I'm just not sure how to proceed. Prayers are in order, decisions are to be made. For sure...this forum is enlightening and has opened a shelf full of canned worms! ? In God's time, I pray - in God's will, I strive.

Thank you for the supportive words. Now our challenge is not having enough extra money to afford lots of visits. I really had a shoe string budget for the trip I did make, and being new to this concept I only understood that meeting in person was the minimum required. We can't prove how beautiful we feel our love is, and we can't afford lots of trips. I can't see myself with anyone else, and I now am having dashed dreams and plans for us. This day's challenges are very big. But I know that nothing is too big for God. Gotta go through the process - feelings and all.