marriedanconfused

Do not let the her take care of the finance. Take back the checkbook.

If she has you or her Credit Card almost maxed out then it just proves she can't handle money.

I wonder why if you are age 36 and both are working, why do you even have a money issue, A few hundred dollars here and there should not be an issue.

Her sneaking behind your back and sending money would be a big issue with me.

I have seen woman put guys in debt many time for various reason, After talking to her and if she keeps going behind your back I would probably end up divorcing and finding someone who was honest

a year after she got here, my company laid alot of ppl off, me included... I was without a job for about 6 months and am now just starting to catch myself up. She got a job shortly after getting her work authorization card. From the time I was unemployed, my family has been helping us get by and now I owe them alot. My wife did bring up that I' mgiving my parents money, so no reason we can't give her parents money too, but I tried telling her that we are giving my parents money to pay them back. Her parents didn't help us while I was without a job. We have to get on our feet and get stuff paid off then I agree to send money to her mom, but yeah, always reverts to 'I worked for it so I should get to spend it on what I want.' But I'm not suppose to spend my money the way I want it or she throws a fit. What do you think about resenting or despising her mom for allowing my wife to send the money? She does know I was without work and we hardly have money for ourselves. As soon as my wife started working, she said her mom almost immediately started asking for money to be sent. Personally I think it's rude and really don't have any interest in RUSHING back over to see them again after all this drama. Do you blame me or am I wrong?

I married a filipina from Mindanao (I'm 36 and she's going to be 25) and we've been married for almost 15 months now and back in December, we finally got our own apartment. For Christmas, I bought my wife a really nice 17" HP Blu-Ray laptop because I wanted our first Christmas together in our new place to be memorable. My wife didn't end up getting me anything at all, but I did notice she sent her mom over $200. Then she says she is going to make it up to me for my Birthday which was January 14th and sadly, nothing happened and again, I came across something that she sent her mom another $100. She tells me her mom puts guilt trips on her and I really am starting to despise her mother for that. I tell her, I'd rather know about it than find out your sending it behind my back, don't sneak it, but anyway, she still does it. Anytime I try to explain it, she says, 'I worked for it and I should be able to do what I want with my money. But mind you, if I want to buy a 12 pack of beer for the weekend, she says we don't have the money to be doing that, we have alot of bills to pay.

It just really hurts that she doesn't care about my feelings and having not gotten me anything for Christmas or my birthday. I don't even care if she said she's going to take me out to eat but yeah, it's nothing. If you were me, would her NEVER wanting to spend her money on you, but always has plenty to send to her mom? Do you blame me for beginning to despise her mother? Another thing that bugs me is that she uses her credit card to send her mom money, but she acts like it's cause of me she's almost got it maxed out and if I don't give her money, she throws a huge fit that I'm not helping her pay off her credit card. Bottom line, I DO NOT like sneaking around and how she says, its her money, she is the one who worked for it, so she should be able to spend it the way she wants. I really don't know what to say to get my POV understood. As I said, if I try to talk to her and tell her I don't like how she's doing it and would prefer her tell me if she's going to do it, it becomes I am trying to control her...

I'm so confused.... Should I continue letting her treat me like this?

What would you do?