Alicia & Ken

Ahhhh that is so sad : ( I didn't realize it came off that way. I just mean that I take marriage seriously! I think people often ignore their gut feeling and it's never too late to turn back. "We already booked the church and the reception is non refundable so I'll go threw with it." People don't pay the deposit and make plans thinking I'll just cancel if I change my mind! I would not go through all of this thinking "I don't know maybe?" I would have every intention to marry him! I'm just learning about this process and trying to make sense of everything!

Thank you everyone for your comments! They really help! I am learning a lot and gaining insight!

I'm only 33 so still young enough to have children! His mother is putting pressure on him to settle down and have kids. I do think the cultural aspect is very important and that is why I do want to visit Lagos! I really have no idea/point of reference about our cultural differences or his marriage expectations! A few months is fast to be considering such things and we wouldn't be discussing it if we didn't need visas to see each other! I'm learning that the visa process takes a long time. I do feel that he may be the one for me but we really need to spend time together in person and meet each others families to know for sure! If he ends up coming to the US on a K-1 visa and doesn't get along with family or I'm not sure then I won't marry him. Marriage is forever!

Uhg nothing really : ( Just the fact that we know the rules and plan to follow them. I guess me saying I promise to play by the rules and send him back isn't enough huh? I've only been to Mexico so I'm nervous about flying to another country alone!

So I have been communicating with a man in Nigeria for about 3 months. We talk and text everyday and skype on the weekend. We are in our 30s ...old enough to know what we want and ready to settle down. I really want him to come visit me in the US to meet my friends and family (I have a son). According to him the process is tedious and he will more than likely be denied the visa wasting time and money. Then he is worried that having a denied visa will look bad if/when we apply for K-1 or I-130. He wants me to go there and if all goes well get engaged at that time. Getting engaged to someone who has not met my family in person seems crazy! Then we have to wait 6 plus months for a k-1 visa and get married as soon as he gets here! No matter what I do want to visit him in Nigeria but I really want him to come here first then I'll go to him and we can get legally married in Nigeria. Then we could bypass k-1 and just file I-130! While we are waiting we can plan a wedding in the US. If the I-130 takes too long he can come visit again! Am I delusional? Any advice/tips would be helpful!

Thanks!

If you get married to a US citizen in a foreign country, say Nigeria, and have a US visitors visa, can you go to the US with your spouse after filing for the spousal visa to wait for approval? Will the foreign spouse have to go back to the country of Origin?