impel37

I don't have experience in a spousal visa. I'd just like to observe that from your story it looks like you are giving it your all, jumping through all the hoops and doing all you can think of, while your girlfriend...doesn't want to upset mommy and daddy but doesn't appear to be doing much else?

Edit: having now read further to post 6 I am even less enchanted. You're not a "sure catch" because you've just been an intern? It's not like you've been out of uni all that long. Apparently getting daddy to bankroll you is better than working your way up, or what? Sheesh...

To your first point, yes I have questioned what I have put in to our relationship in terms of moving and putting myself through the stress of obtaining a work visa to what sacrifices she has made. All I know is I love her and am happy with her, she does do a lot for me and is there to support me - however I do feel she could be more open minded about marriage.

To the second point I'm not totally sure as to what her exact reasons behind not getting married in order for me to stay are, I just know that as of right now its a no. In all honesty there hasn't been a discussion with her parents about it so I don't know what their say on the matter is. I just gage it won't be that positive.

I think its going to have to come from her though for us to start entertaining the idea of getting me a green card. We'll how the absence makes her feel and what seeing each other will be like in the next few months.

Right now I need to focus on getting some sort of life/normality here.

Thanks for the replies so far everyone, it's great to read all of your stories and sorry for initially posting this in the wrong section. Just to clarify it's not that she doesn't want to get married down the line in the future, we often discuss it like couples do. However she just doesn't want to get married right now and not for the reason of obtaining a green card.

I don't know that her family would be against it or what the aftermath may be. Currently her dad is investing in her business so she fears she may lose his investment but I doubt they would completely disown her. The trouble is that I'm not a sure catch for them right now being that I was an intern and to them seems like I couldn't get a job, I don't know if they are aware of the cap or how difficult navigating the US immigration system is.

I understand that it is classed as fraud to marry for immigration benefits but I feel as though a marriage right now is more of a way to keep us together. I mean we have been together for three years, lived in each others countries, have been on numerous vacations and have thousands of pictures of us together (including with both our families). I do know if legitimate couples that have been forced in to this route and it worked out for them. It isn't fraudulent in the sense that we aren't a legitimate couple.

Hi all,

I am looking to speak with US citizens that have married their spouse in order for them to live in the US. Preferably those that didn't have any other options and at a push in the 20-35 age range.

As of Monday myself and my girlfriend of almost three years have been forced in to a long distance relationship with at least a year (possibly two) before we can “break the distance”

We met during our final year of university at a Halloween party, I am a Brit and she is an American. She had been in the UK for three years prior as she did her entire degree here. From that party we have been in a committed relationship and inseparable ever since. However in order for us to be together it feels like we have to jump through hurdles all due to the passports we have.

Originally after graduating she wanted to stay in the UK on what was our graduate visa and get some work experience. Unfortunately that same year, three months before we graduated the UK government cancelled that visa route and made all non-EU students return to their home countries once their study visa expired. So after some long discussions we decided that a month after she left I’d come over to the States (NY) to join her and try find a job. At this point I’d done a little research on the visa but nothing to the extent of what I’d learn over the coming months. I was there for five months on a tourist visa (stayed for two, left, came back for three) to try find work whilst still supported by my parents.

It was extremely difficult and it put a huge strain on us both, at one point almost breaking us. It came clear that no one was going to sponsor a recent grad with barely any experience. It was at this point I learnt that I could do an internship (J1 visa) for a year and managed to find a small firm willing to sign for it.

So I came back to the UK to get my paperwork in order and that meant for this last year I have been living in the US with her. The company I originally started with turned out to be not what I expected and I managed to transfer to my dream company, who I originally wanted to work for in the first place. Everything was starting to fall in to place and it came to April when the proper work visa became available again (H1B), everything went according to plan, I got a job offer and all I had to do was wait…

Then it came to April 7th and I found out that 175k people had applied for only 65k visas. My application was put in to a lottery but my number was never drawn. After almost two years of hard work and finally getting so close to our goal the rug got pulled from under our feet and I had to pack up all of my belongings, have an emotional goodbye and get on a plane.

My job won't remain open for me as the company is ver fast paced so this means I will need to find another H1B sponsor and more than likely be subject to the cap, unless immigration reform is put through. I also just found out that I can't do another J1 (trainee) for two years as I just completed my J1 intern.

This leaves us with not many options and I'm trying to weigh up everything. Since we tried to do this the "proper" way (getting a job) and it hasn't worked then I'd like to consider marriage as an option. However she’s completely against and a big factor is her parents would not be pleased and she fears they would cut her off (they are financing her business).

I understand its not the best option but on paper it makes perfect sense. I'd like to hear from those of you that have gotten married in order to be together. More a long the lines of if it weren't for the visa would you have gotten married when you did? Did it put a strain on your relationship? What were the pro's and con's etc.

I'm not looking for advice on the spousal visa, I'm pretty clued up and have met with immigration attorneys I'm just interested in reading the dynamics of a couple to see if I can apply it to my own situation.

Thanks.