L80

Thank you so much for the replies! They were wonderful to read. Feeling a little more sane now that I realize it's not as bad as I thought it was. I should've realized the process couldn't be that forbidding, but thinking I might have to put off living with the person I love indefinitely really got to me. I don't think very well when stressed. (My parents' plumbing was out when I arrived, and their new puppy is cute but a whirlwind of destruction. Cleaning out my old room has also been a challenge; it was being used as junk storage. Add to that the job interviews, setting up my computer, changing my address... so much has been going on. It was also really hard saying goodbye to my dog, even knowing she's happy.)

He's looking into GED centers near Denmark at the moment, and plans to talk to his grandfather and further investigate the possibility of citizenship, but I definitely want to start preparing for the K1. I think it's the smart decision. The other options may or may not work out, but this one looks like the best bet. Definitely doesn't hurt to get our ducks in a row.

Thanks again, everyone. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the help. This information is an immense relief.

Update: I am now living in the States again in the same small town as before. I was making 11.20 when I left... now they want to hire me back for the heartbreakingly low price of $7.85. I am going to keep looking but there's no guarantee I'll find better, or when. I am also currently living with my parents to save money, which means I'm in a household of 4 once he gets here until he could get a job and we could move out, which hilariously means I need MORE money per year. This means that financially, I cannot see the K1 ever being a reachable goal for me. I'll be lucky if I make $16,000, let alone $29,812.

Even if I worked the night shift for extra cash, I could not break the $19,000 mark. It's not like I could make up for it with savings right now even if that was an option; they are depleted at the moment.

I'm just in shock right now. Just kind of devastated. I don't know what I'm going to do. Is love only allowed overseas for doctors and lawyers or people with the good fortune to live in a place where the minimum wage is something close to humane?

I can't believe this. Why do you need to make MORE money for saving money by not living alone?

No, the 4-23 years was claiming citizenship/getting a green card through a parent's citizenship. I saw talk about preference statuses and very long waits, particularly if you're 21 or older. Whether you could live in the US before getting the green card somehow, I wouldn't know, but nothing I've read so far has made it fully clear.

We're completely prepared to get married, as it's something we were talking about before anyway. We'd just prefer to take the step on our own terms if possible. But if marriage would get us together faster, we really wouldn't mind doing it sooner rather than later. We could always renew our vows in a more romantic/populated ceremony later.

He's also interested in studying, but not yet fully sure what he wants to study or if he can get a scholarship/exchange program. He also had to drop out of their odd high-school/college hybrid, Gymnasium, due to family issues, vexingly right before he would have been finished, so he'd need to see about taking the GED first for that. He'd also need that to have a hope of getting a job good enough to provide a work visa, as well.

I think if he did come to the States to study, we would have more time to plan, maybe even give his family a chance to be there when we marry. Hopefully that will be an option.

I'm a US citizen from birth and lived there most of my life. We haven't lived together, we have had only a few weeks together in person, unfortunately. The relationship has existed for a bit over a year. We are not residents of other countries, except for me but that is likely ending and it is not an English-speaking country nor is it Denmark (to my great dismay.)

I will look into immigration attorneys. Thank you. I wish I could think of more to say right now but my head is still swimming a bit. This seems so complicated right now. Good news about the paychecks, though. If I can still get something like my old salary back, I should be okay, hopefully. If not, I'll need to look elsewhere.

I'm confused and stressed trying to understand the particulars, so I figured the best thing to do is just ask for help from people who've likely been through this, and while closer to home (I'm living overseas and will likely have to move back any week now because I don't think I'm going to find a job here--I'm told I shouldn't bother applying for citizenship if I don't have a job, and my roommate gave me a deadline for finding one that will not budge. It's a shame--I've been living in the EU for a little over 6 years now. I hear at 7 you get it automatically.)

Here's the situation:

He's 21 years old, a native of Denmark. (Ouch. We just missed the before-21 window by a few months. So painful...)

His grandfather is an Irish Immigrant who naturalized and is a US citizen who achieved the rank of Lt. Colonel (and Colonel, though he turned it down so his family could stay closer to his wife's relatives) and moved his wife and daughters around the EU in accordance with his duties to the US army for most of their years of growing up (thus probably meeting the 10 years requirement, unless I'm misunderstanding. Not sure if they lived on an army base or not, nor if that matters while he was employed with the army. Still gathering information.)

His mother doesn't think she has dual citizenship, but that of course has no bearing on whether she actually does, from everything I've read.

Because he's 21, he cannot marry anyone into his country because there is a surprisingly steep age requirement on that. (24.) This is due to forced marriages, which I understand totally... but is there even one documented case of a man being forced to marry a woman into the country? I'm honestly wondering. Forced marriages seem a strictly patriarchal phenomenon to me.

So, here are my questions:

• If his mother should turn out to possess citizenship, can she--while still remaining in Denmark--in some way impart to him the ability to live in the US past the normal 3-month limit? Green card, citizenship, anything?
• How long would these routes take, if they would work? What I'm asking is basically, should we even bother trying, or would that just keep us apart for years? I read something about family green cards taking from 4 to 23 years in order to be approved and I couldn't believe it... would he be allowed to enter, stay, and work in the country while it was processing?
• In the case of financial support, how long would I have to work after getting a job in order to prove financial capability? Would it be a full year? A few months? One month? Would I end up having to wait an extra year past the normal time requirements in order to prove I made enough? Or would I be able to use paycheck stubs from my previous job in the States? (Every year when I took my vacation and went home, I heard "we'd love to have you back!" so I expect to work there again.)
• How fast would I need to have the money required to pay whatever costs occur? Could not having enough in my savings right now hurt me or would I have a few months to acquire enough capital?
• Are there any other options that could work for us? Marrying, moving to the UK or Scotland or Wales where we could at some point do a DCR? Is there anywhere an EU citizen can quickly bring in a spouse? Am I missing any fine details in this case that could help?