vicki/bala

Bala and I knew each other four years , two of which was in a romantic relationship. I am 15 years older than he is and thus begins the problem. We filed the petition in 06/05 had interview in 10/05 the first words out of the interviewers mouth was "if you think you are getting a free ride to america you can forget it" .. Bala was told i was not pretty enough, so how could he possibly love me and lots of other horrible things. After that interview we were placed on AP for nearly 8 months. They then called Bala back for another interview and it was even worse than the first. They threatened to take pics of he and I to his family and friends and "make it ugly for him" if he didnt admit fraud. They said they had proof I was living with a man in america (they had called my house at 4a m and my 18 year old son answered and told them I was alseep). They tried evey tatic in the book to make bala say he was a fraud and he refused. So they couldnt get him to admit it. They couldnt find any proof to their allegations so the did the next best thing. They sent the petition back. The rest you know.

now some will say it was up to us to prove our relationship ,, we had tons of proof.. They refused to look at it. Everytime bala tried to tell them something he was met with the same words "sir we do not believe you".

I still talk with bala occasionally and each time he begs me to come there and live with him.. He doesnt care about coming to America all he cares about is being with me. But i have Children, i have grandchildren, I have bills to pay, so its not so easy.

It was a hard decision to let bala go. I love him with all my heart and soul. But I also know the fight we had before us.. I fought it for nearly two years and I thought it best to just let bala get on with his life there.

HOpe this explains things better.

Vicki

Sorry guys, I should have been more clearer.. Bala and I split in late december. I just posted this update because I knew that others have recently had petitions sent back. Just wanted them to be prepared for what is to come. My petition has been back at USCIS for almost 6 months now without a word from them. I got my info relayed to me secondhand... from the governors office.

Vicki

Just wanted to give those of you who have had their petiton returned to CSC with the intent to deny issue. My petiton was returned in Oct of 2006 and over the weekend I received a letter from my governor (mind you I had inquired with them back in dec!!! Gives new meaning to slow reply), saying that they had been contacted by CSC and was informed they DO NOT send out noid letters and that all the petitions are EXPIRED by the time they are sent back, and I could reapply (start all over) if I wanted too. My original petition was sent in June of 2005 almost two years ago.

So all this time and effort for nothing.

Best of luck to all

Vicki

Just a little heads up guys. Our petition was sent back to CSC in early October. To date has not received one touch! And another thing you should be prepared for, CSC is notorious for not sending out NOIDS, they simply hold the petition for ahwile then send out a letter saying your petition has expired and you have a choice to start over from the very begining.

Good Luck, however it goes.

Vicki

Ryan after its returned you can use your original USCIS number and it will show in the system.. Thats how I know mine is sitting there and that its still open... It says the date it was returned. And before I canceled it I called to get some info on it and was told not to call back for at least 120 days..

Vicki

Funny thing rebbecajo... I sent a request to have my petition withdrawn.. in dec... guess what.. havent heard a word and its still sitting there untouched!!!

Vicki

I too believe in God's will, and I believe that sometimes his will is not ours. Just loving someone does not always guarantee a happy life together. As I said maybe I just wasnt strong enough to outlast them. But I had become so hopeless just waiting months and months between each step in this crazy process. Our petition was sent back in July.. took it three months to make it back to the states and then as I said has just sat there since October. All together eight months since it was sent back! And besides that we were on AR for eight months before that.

I had heard many "horror" stories about how they will hold it and then send a letter saying its expired and that we have to refile and start all over! I just couldnt deal with it all over again. I have children and grandchildren here in the U S so my going there to live was out of the question. So I saw no other option than to just give in. Even though I will always be sad for losing a great love in my life, I think I did what was right for the two of us.

I wish you much luck in ur endeavor, and pray that you are not in limbo as we were.

Vicki

Hi Ryan,

I dont want to add more stress to your situation, but the very same thing happened to me and my fiance. He went thru Chennai embassy, and we started this journey nearly two years ago. Our case was sent back to the U S in October of 2006 and it has sat without any touches, or anything since then. Yes! Five months just sitting there after being returned. I know very well the bia's and prejudices that the indian embassies are filled with. We gave them four years of proof of our relationship. Stacks and Stacks, and Im convinced that it doesnt matter how much you give them, once they decide something in their head they dont care.

Sadly, My fiance and I split up in December, after over four years. It was a heartbreaking decision, but I couldnt see putting our lives on hold any longer. It seemed no one wanted to help us. My lawyer wouldnt answer my emails. My senator wouldnt answer my letters. It felt so hopeless ! So I let them win. Maybe I was weak, but I did it with the intention of giving my fiance freedom to move on with his life.

It has been really hard for me to deal with and every time I think of the Chennai embassy Im filled with such anger . I hope and pray that some day this immigration process is made much easier for those who are sincere while being able to still weed out the fraud...

Much luck to all.

Vicki

Good Luck to the two of you. Ive watched the two of you post for a while now, and the love between you guys is so evident. Will be holding good thoughts and wishes for you on ur interview day.

Vicki/bala

They are not the same. AR is security checks. My fiance and I were on AP for nearly eight months and we NEVER had any security checks in all that time. (im sure we had them at one point but not during AP). Another reason we know there is a difference is because twice we were corrected by the embassy and DOS when we referred to it as AR. They were quick to remind us that our case was in ADMINISTRATIVE PROCESSING AND NOT ADMINISTRATIVE REVIEW. We called the DOS several times in those months and was always told the same "No security checks have been ordered, whatever is being done is within the embassy itself".

Basically what Processing consist of is they investigate the validity of the information they receive. They interviewed his family and friends and made one call to my home. (amazing it took eight months to do that ).

So there is a difference, but they both equal the same thing, delays and misery!!

Best of luck to all

vicki/bala

Trust me Yodrak, Bala has begged me to do just that. He would prefer i just come there and we could forget all this hassle of immigration. I have three sons here and five grandchildren ranging in age from 2 months to 6 years.. I would not want to be so far away from them if they needed me. Also its not so easy for a mixed couple to be there in india, they are the most close minded people ive ever seen. When I was there visiting Bala and I were just talking in the train station (no public affection ) and an employee tried to make us leave because he did not like the fact that an indian was talking and laughing with a "white" woman.

Thank you for reminding me of my quote.. But I really dont see it as letting Bala go..I see it as they are ripping us apart.

Vicki/Bala

Limah I sent a fax to the consulate general himself within a few days of learning our petiton was being sent back. As far as our long history of waiting it goes like this. Balas first interview was one year ago tomorrow, then we were put on AP for nearly 8 months. He was called for second interview, where they acused Bala of fraud and tried to get him to admit it ..Any way when after a couple of hours of this, Bala refused to give in .....they sent our petition back. It arrived in USCIS on 17th of October,(about three months for it to make the trip back), and its been sitting there ever since. Yesterday they said to allow 180 days (6 months) before inquiring again. So if yours is sent back you can expect many months of delays.

Private it was same with us. They have never told us either what their findings are. In fact Bala challenged them to show their proofs to him.. He told them if you will show me your proofs then I will admit fraud. When he was told by the CO's that they had proof i was living with a man .. he demanded "show me ".. their reply was "sir its her private affair, we cant show you".... they had no proof , that is why they didnt deny us out right. All they had was their own prejudices. Even once they told Bala that they knew he was a fraud because he had not informed his neighbors about his relationship. I cant figure that one out. I didnt know there was a law that said you must inform your neighbors or else its not real .... heck Ive lived here in my apartment for over two years and I dont even know my neighbors, much less inform them of my love life.

Anyway....good luck to both of you... keep in touch so that we may help support each other thru all this...

vicki/bala

I sent a fax to the consulate general at the chennai embassy and i got a reply from them, but only to tell me that they had already sent my petition back (which wasnt true)... but i would suggest trying anything at this point.

It will be exactly one year tomorrow (indian time) that we had our interview. I hope that you are successful in stopping the return. But if your not. Dont lose faith, you will (as I did )learn that you do what you have to do to get by. Some days my strength is almost gone. Some days are so hard to get through without losing my sanity. But what is my alternative? I love Bala, its either fight this thing no matter how long it takes or lose him forever.

Limah feel free to chat with me anytime you like. Keep strong

Vicki/Bala

Well I called the USCIS today and was told to wait 180 days (6months) from the date that it was returned (10/17/06) before contacting them again.

Im wondering if we should just get married and apply for a K3 instead. Wondering if it would be faster.

(sigh)

vicki/bala

Ok, so our petition has been back at California service center since 10/17/06... sent back by Chennai Embassy.... Our regular service center is Nebraska. The day after tomorrow will be one year since Bala's initial interview. So what now??

Ive heard from several that CSC may not send out a NOID letter. Ive heard that its possible we will get a letter saying our petition has expired. If I call the USCIS will they tell me which they plan to send?? Im concerned that its been just sitting there for nearly a month without any touches.

Any Suggestions??

Yodrak , where are ya?? (smile)

Vicki/Bala

After Bala's first interview they asked for my marriage liscense to show proof of name change. So its possible they will ask for it.

good luck

vicki/bala

I saw it last night, was a challenge to see, the show was sold out at one theater..went to next town and we were lucky enough to get in before it sold out too. As far as the movie itself: I laughed from the beginning to the very last minute. It was a little crude at times, but all in all it was one of the best movies Ive seen this year!!!!! Im an even bigger fan of sacha baron cohen now!

vicki/bala

Naija,

I cannot understand the pain you feel except that a very good friend is in your similar pridicament and I feel her pain everyday I talk to her. I know her relationship with her husband to be geniune, but what I know doesn't matter. In consoling her, I have tried to get her to be proactive and get some help. She is still under the impression that after 4 months that she should wait for "the powers to be" to contact her. She is in a state of denial.

I tell you this because there are others that have similar experiences because their spouses are from "high fraud" countries, and instead of focusing on what was done to you, focus on what you can do to bring him home to you. Regardless of what we think of the CO's in these countries, at the end of the day, it is their (job)decision to grant a visa based on the information provided to them.

A denial is heartbreaking, but it is not the end of your visa journey. If anything positive can come out of this, by the time your husband's interview comes up again, you should be granted the IR-1 visa. I personally think the CO's deny most of these visas to see which couples will overcome the NOID or NOIR and use that as proof of a valid relationship. Yodrak offered some heartfelt advice. It's not cheap, but money should not be an object to bringing our loved ones home to us.

Christine

NO we did not have any help in filing our petition. It was a last minute decision to even apply for a visa for Bala. Our plans was for me to come there and live. Bala had already taken out a huge loan to begin his own business in Chennai. Taken out just two months before I petitoned for him a K-1. After I went there to visit with him I realized I couldnt live there without my family. Even though my boys are grown I still dont want to be that far from them. So I approched him with the ideal of living here. It was the first time it was ever brought up in our four year history. So I went online, got the forms and we began our journey all by ourselves. Neither of us EVER expected any problems.. All we knew was that we loved each other, neither of us had ever had any problems with the law, both adults, both free to marry, so what could go wrong?? (geez were we gullible ). We found vj just two or three weeks before balas first interview. Then we began to see our "red flags" so we prepared well for that. Still it was a mess. We now have an immigration attorney, and we are just hoping for the best.

I feel its necessary to explain something here though so that the CO's dont look totaly bad. I now understand why they had doubts (It was bala they doubted and not me) .... but It was a simple mistake that was easily proved otherwise if only they would have listened to our explanation. So I have to be honest in saying i know why they thought as they did .... but I will never understand or agree with their tatics. If they had just taken the time to listen to us and look at all our proofs they would have seen the truth and we wouldnt have to be waiting and going thru this exta scrutiny. The important thing here is to make sure you have everything prepared ,, mind your p's and q's because once that doubt is planted in their brains its not so easily removed.

Thanks for the well wishes Yodrak, its been four months on the 6th since our petition was sent back. Hopefully we will get our NOID soon so that we can continue on with this struggle.

Vicki/bala

Yodrak, I enjoy reading your responses to posters here because I always find them very knowledgable tempered with wisdom. And for the most part I agree with you. But to say that our government trains these workers to lie and blackmail these canidates is just not right. Maybe they do... but that doesnt make it easier to accept as "right practices". And surely you dont expect those of us that have seen this firsthand to accept that these CO's do not judge on their own cultural beliefs and backgrounds. I know differently and Im sure there are many that agree with me. Yes there were more than one that decided our fate... Two Indians and then they took what was their "truth" to the american CO. Not once in all the many times that my fiance challenged them to show their "proof" that we were frauds were they able to do it. Instead they kept insisting that he admit to it. He looked them straight in the eye and told them he would not admit to something he was not guilty of no matter what they threatened or said to him. I can prove every single word that we said to them to be a fact. But as the oringal poster noted they too didnt want to look at it. They threw it back at him saying "a few conversations dont prove a relationship".

I always appreciate the calm way in which you reply to all of us that sometimes lose our cool. But understand our side too. We are human beings who only want to be with the one we love. Everyday of my life I am reminded that Bala is not here. And for the life of me I cant understand what crime we did that keeps us apart.... Im surviving and im living my life each day, because I have too. I dont desire any pity, or special favors. All I want is to go on with my life with the man I love.

Keep giving the good advice Yodrak its always appreciated. When I see that you have posted a reply I always go and read the thread even if it doesnt pertain to me, because I know I wll get some information that may be helful in the future.

Many thanks to you...

vicki/bala

ursy,

Agreed, emotions tend to cloud reality at times, I have been there. With that said, the inference that the Foreign Service Officers Lagos are involved in fraud is completely irresponsible.

Having worked in Embassies and Consulates worldwide, my former colleagues in the Foreign service are of the highest caliber and integrity. Like any human, they make occasional mistakes, far from fraud.

In this particular case, it appears that the evidence was inadequate to close the deal. An attorney is the only realistic option at this stage. As others have stated, particularly Yodrak, an attorney with experience in Nigeria should have been engaged from day 1.

William, I visited Nigeria twice for a period of about 2 months totally and I understand your comment. The world knows how Nigeria is known for its "excellency" in cons and bribes. The best of the best #1 in fact. Nevertheless, I think you are being a bit harsh though. A person in love will consider desperate measures and I see nothing wrong with her attempt---though I agree that it should be done while seeking an attorney regarding her particular case.

William, please dont see me as someone who didnt get what she wanted and is now screaming foul, but you saying that "my former colleagues in the Foreign service are of the highest caliber and integrity" is the same as others saying "all nigerians are frauds".... and its completely wrong. I assure you not all foreign service workers are as upstanding and honest as you say. Trust me I know. The CO's at Chennai used every dirty tatic in the book from outright lying to my fiance by saying they had proof "I was living with a man here in the U S" to blackmailing him by saying they would take pictures to his family and neighbors and "make it very ugly for him" if he didnt admit fraud.

Nothing about immigrations is fair. I know that fruad is a huge problem, but there must be some way of weeding out the good from the bad other than making innocent people pay and suffer for all of those that are bad. Ive been here on VJ for over a year now and in that time I've seen numerous couples get approved, marry, and divorce due to fraud. So how are they getting thru while the honest ones sit and wait??? And are treated like the worst of criminals?? Im not putting blame on everyone , Im sure there are very good and honest consular workers who are trying their best to do a good job. I for one would not want to EVER have to make decisions they do. I would just like to see a better system.

My fiance and I have been together four years, we were well prepared to show an ongoing relationship, we can prove in that four years not one day has gone by that we havent commincated either by phone, email, or chat. The first thing out of the CO's mouth when he sat down in front of her was "if you think you are getting a free ride to America then you can just forget it" This was without asking one question or looking at one peice of evidence ... And we have been fighting ever since (16 months).... now today i saw someone post that they had approved visa after going to interview and only one question was asked "how many times has your fiance been to visit you".... now im thrilled for the poster... but it was like a slap in the face. Why do some breeze thru and others are treated like criminals?? Is it how they look when they sit before them??

Even though I understand what the original OP is feeling, I would never say that the Chennai consulate is corrupt or fraudulent, but I can say that the CO"s we dealt with were not upstanding and honest. And not everyone who is working in our embassys should be.

Vicki/Bala

yep, ours was almost 8 months in "review".. it can last anywhere from a few days to 2 years.

Hope yours is over soon.

Vicki/bala

94 %

HAPPY DIWAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats so true, but you have to remember different lands, different cultures. My Fiance lived in a joint family, youngest one, with the eldest bro being fully in charge. There were two consequences to them finding out. One he was in danger of being disowned by his family and two the family status (which if you know anything about India is everything to them ) was jeopordized. So its not so easy for them. Your absolutely right... we are both adults and if we want to marry without telling anyone its our business.. but tell that to some of the CO's running our embassys they seem to think its a mortal sin, and a sure sign that your a fraud..

Vicki/Bala