changeofheart

How did she meet her American spouse?

You keep calling her a "girl", how old is she?

Do you think it's possible her family pushed her to find an American husband so she could work in America and support them?

It sounds like a terrible situation for her regardless and I agree that her husband sounds cruel and emotionally abusive. Which makes it sound a bit like a mail order bride deal, one she may not have been a knowing participant of.

I get where you're coming from being an Alabama girl myself. With the immigration laws I couldn't even get my husbands car tags renewed and I can't add him to my health insurance which is more a hardship for us than just being an immigration issue.

As for your lease, can you visit your leasing office and have him listed as an "occupant"? My husband did this for me since we're living apart and we want to have proof of a bonafide marriage without seeming like we're trying to convince immigration we live together full time. It just shows that I stay in the apartment in his in name and that the landlord is aware.

What about your cellphones? You can be the primary account holder on a family line and have an additional line for him.

Is the joint account where you pay most of your household bills? Not having much money isn't a big deal, but you do need to show you're using it for joint expenses. If you've got a bank account with $100 and you never use it, that looks like you only opened it for the sake of having the account. We had to go out of state to open our bank account as well as get car insurance.

What about your taxes?

That's not terribly uncommon in modern marriages. It isn't always a ring box hidden in a bouquet of roses. A lot of couples discuss marriage together when making the decision.

Courthouse weddings are pretty common when there's an immigrant involved, it's hard to plan a wedding when one persons family is in another country as well as the expense of the immigration process making a pricey wedding less of a priority. I'm sure officers see that all the time.

Did your family throw any parties for you or give you gifts after the wedding?

We never filed because I became overwhelmed by the situation and wasn't following through on paperwork etc. Thats when we became estranged and seriously considering divorce or annulment.

I'm hoping that might actually look better than if we had filed before the marriage was legitimate?

As for him working, the lawyer said it wasn't a problem if he reports his income.

I suppose the best thing to do is be upfront with the lawyer even if that means having to switch lawyers until we find one who can best handle the situation.

In all my searching on the Internet I haven't seen a mention of any similar situations or how they were handled. That's the information I'm really seeking here.

Well the thing is we intended to commit fraud in the beginning but our marriage as it stands now is genuine. Would immigration actually have leniency if we told the full story? Does anyone know of similar situations and how they were resolved?

We have an immigration attorney, we just don't know how honest we should be for fear he'll drop our case.

How would it affect the case if I admitted to having "cold feet" early into the marriage and being overwhelmed by the process of marrying an immigrant and it caused a strain for that time period? That's really not far off from the actual situation.

Oh and to add he's from a European country with no reputation for fraud which is one of the only bright spots in this situation.

I'm asking that everyone keep an open mind as you read my predicament.

Two years ago I married my best friend because he had overstayed his visa and needed a green card. I knew he needed help and we were close enough that we figured we could live as roommates and friends for a few years to satisfy all the requirements. I'm not at all saying what we did was right, but I'm laying the situation out so you'll understand better. The whole thing was much more complicated than I was prepared for and the first year didn't go well, he ended up leaving the state after some tough immigration laws were passed. We went long periods without even communicating. We reconnected when he came to visit me and we began a legitimate romantic relationship. We're very happy together and truly love one another and want to be together. We're starting the immigration process but there are obviously a few kinks. For starters we still live in different states. I have a good job with benefits and I care for an elderly grandparent, all my family is here in this state. He's working out of state because he has no work permit and my state is very harsh on immigration. I visit once a month and my family is very supportive of the relationship. Our plan is to get him legal so we can live together in my home state near my family. He's very close with them as he has non of his own in the states.

I'm on his car, car insurance, utility bills, etc and he's listed as beneficiary on my life insurance. We've been saving boarding passes and receipts from my trips to see him. Our phone records show that we talk at least twice a day. The problem is that there's a year gap in our evidence. We don't want to fabricate anything because we're already on thin ice since we live apart. How do we explain the lack of photos or anything from that time? I'm worried now because it took so long to start this process that there will be too many red flags and he won't get approved.