Telion

Our NOA2 was October 23rd and nothing received as of yet from the NVC. I also called and got the 8 week response. Hopefully we will hear something soon as I too would prefer not to have to wait 8 weeks.

Woohoo received notification via the USCIS site yesterday that our status has changed to post decision activity and that the application has been approved NOA2 should arrive soon!

My prayers and condolances go out to everyone affected by this

Well I am new to the Reno area and going through this fiance visa process. I love the support and understandings of my fiance she means the world to me and I cannot wait for her to get here. The Reno area being new for me has me constantly saying to myself I cant wait for us to do this together and do that together. But I also find myself not doing anything yet lol which is fine. I want to experience all this with her. But I did want to start building a small network of people going through or that have gone through this with their love from the Philippines. Since I have no personal friends here yet this commonality should make a strong foundation. She will say she does not need friends here and to an extent I agree but I don't want her to become too bored while waiting to be aable to work. I feel this way and I work everyday so I can only imagine what it would be like with no social outlet at all. Although working in Hong Kong as she has been is quite similar, but even there sshe has people she socializes with while walking the dog. Thanks for listening to my preparation ramble lol.

Congrats and it is good to know they email the NA02 response.

My fiance is in the same situation I would like to know what happened?

Congrats, now i am worried lol, my fiance is a resident of the Philippines and she works in Hong Kong but wants to travel home before coming to the USA I now think perhaps that's not such a good idea.

Thank you I hope this part goes fast. To expedite it I overnighted the info, seemed to work with the initial application so why change something that is working right lol right now I am working on the papers I will soon send to my future asawa

I just thought to do this i will back fill more information later

Mailed the RFE for proof of official divorce decree overnight mail to the California service center today with receipts of purchase. I sent a copy that I had received via email and it was not sufficient they wanted an original copy that had the sill and signature of the magistrate or judge on it. So I have my mom pick up 3 official certified copies and mail them out to me being that I live in a different state now. Hoping to see an NA02 soon.

Huge fan of white jasmine rice, no added flavoring required since the rice cooker is in storage I have taught myself to make it in a stainless pot but yes a rice cooker is best when possible.

Lol just had a chance to watch the videos and yes there are some truths to the difficulty people can face in that time and yes I know when that time is and how to engage with my fiance during that time. So for those who are new to the dating game I would say yes that is great advice that's crosses all cultures and knows no cultural boundary but does vary greatly from individual to individual and can evolve or devolve over time. But having said that. I think there are some cultural differences in argumentation and I would really like to here the thoughts of some of our filipina counterparts on the art of effective arguing and what some of the cultural differences are in bow American men argue vs. Filipino men?

1st) FWIW - I really like the way you phrased your question. This question has been asked (by other VJs) many times and many different ways. (but) Most of the time = OP comes out swinging - Guns blazing... fingers pointing.. .insults & labels ..in other words = blame game presented by a "victim" that just can't take it anymore and and and...

I understand some relationships just ain't gonna work. (but) IMO - the blame game people disrespect / insult their relationship & themselves with each derogatory sentence they type & make themselves look like emotionally immature children.

You? You present your concern with appropriate respect for your SO & your relationship. You demonstrate emotional maturity, humility & a healthy pragmatic attitude re: managing relationship conflict. Good job!

2nd) Above posters advice re: communication - agreed...but for us.. sometimes, less is more. We prefer to "postpone" & "reschedule" some conflicts...especially when it's too hot & I / we run the risk of saying something I / we will regret later. (and for some odd but surely scientific reason - it's always me providing the regretful input . Go figure. )

& then...during the "cool down" phase...manage the relationship - biz as usual (albeit a little tense sometimes). We don't let the conflict control us...we control the conflict. We're not perfect.. but...practice makes perfect... and this strategy works for us.

We (also) decided early on that it's Okay to agree to disagree on the small stuff...work some of those little issues out at a more appropriate time.

I got more but I already rambled on too much... I leave with 2 last thoughts =

1) I am appropriately intimidated by my wife.

2) I've never found fighting helps me get the things I want. Difficult lesson to learn for some1 as spoiled as I am.

(I've been away for awhile & I don't know how to up a vid anymore - sorry but all I got is a link. Doesn't quite have the same effect but here it is anyway...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVBnkOL-8Jw

Thank you so much for the acknowledgment and for the kind words. And the words of wisom which i see is agreed upon by your SO. You bring up a great point about managing through the conflict in and after the cool down phase and reopening the line of communication meaning continuing to communicate through rough waters, and being content with not agreeing sometimes. I have a tendency to want to argue to the point of resolve, sometimes forgetting aboutthe need for a cool down period when arguing via chat. Meaning i am finding I am much better at stepping back to cool ddown and reproach in person than in chat. This will be a good focus for me. Something else I noticed aand i dont know if this is a cultural difference or an individual difference but we see argumentation differently for me I believe in healthy confrontation but fear arguing where as my fiance sees arguing as healthy confrontation and so there are little consequences to it other than it was an argument and we will get over it no big deal. Me I think an argument has potentially severe consequences such as a break up and healthy confrontation is working through expressed disagreement with little to no consequence. She sees both in some what the same consequential light. I think that is a better way to see it of course, because behindthat is the understanding of I will not leave you and will love you no matter how bad the argument was (within reason of course) no one should allow any form of abuse to take place. his is good I would like to hear more thoughts on this. And crash_n2_me that was hardly a ramble

I could not agree more to communication being the key. And we spend most of our awake hours doing just that. All the advice so far has been wonderful. As for one person talking at a time I suppose tthat is one of few benefits to talking via instant message a little hard to talk over the other person. I have thought about this more and also think at least for me video conferencing with her calms me almost immediately. By no means am I a hot head or anything. Just seeking advice from those in similar situations as I. And hopefully this will help other couple in love frogman distance. I would love to hear more tips.

Prayer. It helped us a lot when my fiancé (now my husband) and I were still apart. We also made a conscious effort not to make any decisions in the heat of the moment. We usually waited until things started to simmer down, then talk about the issue in a calm manner. Bottom line, prayers helped a lot -- when we start to argue or be in conflict, we step aside to pray. It gave both of us a whole lot of different perspective so when we get back together and talk, we both were (we still do that now especially as a married couple) calm and ready to talk things through lovingly and peacefully.

This is great advice and something i need to do more of. In person I manage conflict well but when you are thousands of miles apart, it requires a different skill set you cant just hold and comfort each other. We don't argue often but it is painful (to both of us i am sure) when we do

Communicate. We're in touch, through text, chat or video basically all our waking hours, on a weekend we sometimes log on to a video call and then watch a movie 'together'. I write a letter every day and she'll send me voice clips she records on her phone, just every day stuff, thoughts and whatever is going on. This may be a bit much for most people I assume, but to us it's how things should be.

Thank you we do many of these things now but the sound and video clips we have not I don't know if that will help cm an argument but i do know that I miss hearing her voice a lot. I also like the movie idea because I have not watched one alone up to this point and thought I would rather wait for her. Thank you.

I am finding that it can be very difficult for me to get through tough times in a long distance relationship. I love my doe dearly but when we argue I get fearful that it will be the last straw. What are some ways you have managed through hard times with your long distance love?

Congratulations and thank you that was touching and insightful.

This question perplexed me, I myself wondered why many american men were marrying filipina women. But what is interesting and unique for me is that i did not begin to ask myself this question until after I had started dating one (from abroad) . I will start with my specific situation, I was at the tail end of a failing marriage of many years (to an asian woman born outside of the US but moved here at a very young age). Our marriage started great she was americanized but still held some of her traditional values (from what I thought) as our marriage moved forward a couple years i found those values were predominantly there only when around her family. Long story short that marriage ended. At the end and through the duration of that marriage I had learned what I wanted it my life-mate from several aspects, and I knew I had no desire to be single so as soon as I knew my marriage was ending I began my search for what I really wanted after compromising to a point of self disregard as an effort to make the one marriage for life concept work. I knew I did not want to marry anyone from the US, this was not out of dissatisfaction for women here i have had many short and long term relationships with American women, i think it was more about a personal attraction to Asian women and the desire to marry one that had stronger asian cultural ties and traditions (there is some irony in there, such as loving converse shoes). Being someone of an average income i could not afford to make random visits overseas in hopes to find the one so I began talking to women online casually and initially without even the desire to have a long distance relationship of any kind other than friendship this process was only to learn about the differences in the asian cultures through direct conversation with people from different countries on a first hand basis and possibly make some penpal friends abroad. In doing so I learned that very much like in the US, people from different parts of Asia are different from other parts (environmental influence, not a generalization) and within that i kept the understanding that at the individual level within each environment everyone is unique. Ok so back on topic and to my quest. After brief conversations with who knows how many people there was one I truly connected with, she enjoyed many of the things I enjoyed racing (for her motorcycles, for me cars) she came from a similar upbringing in terms of parental personality traits, an influence on who we are that i never thought to consider, our desire for organization structure and cleanliness were similar, and we had similar taste in design and style. And on top of all of that she was a dragon in the chinese zodiac just like I am (meaningless unless you match the characteristics of your sign, as I do). There were only two problems at that point she had no desire to be in a relationship and absolutely no desire to be in a long distance relationship, and was definitely not interested in moving to the US, but had considered Canada for employment purposes. which was fair because my disclosed intent was to make friends and learn about people in other countries, not to find someone to get into a long distance relationship with. So we talked for a couple months found out how much we had in common and how compatible we were personality wise. I then pressed for a relationship of some kind and she finally gave in and agreed to try it.

Now since this time jumping forward about 5 months I have gone to visit her we met up in the Philippines, she works in Hong Kong, and I live in the US and had a wonderful time together,with more opportunity to learn more about each other in person (key learning moment here) no matter how well you think you know someone even personality wise you will find that countless texting conversations and even video chatting will not show you many aspects to a persons personality it is all still very controlled for lack of a better way to put it, just good indicators of compatibility at best. For example i did not see any traits of her being a dragon through the months of contact I had with her and the few hints of characteristics that I did see I confused as a language barrier . But when we met I saw quite clearly the zodiac dragon side of her in her personality and it is by no means submissive in public. If your a guy with a superiority complex you would not have made a suitable mate with my fiance's personality. But with that comes the treatment of a king, so long as I remember she is my queen. Fortunately for us we fell even further in love after spending time together alone and with her family and learning more about who we are personality wise. And it was at this point we solidified our desire to marry.

Now with all that do I still fear some of the horror stories I have read about and have previously questioned some of the complications we encountered of course, but who hasn't in any relationship of any kind and if you say me be weary of any rocks being thrown your way for your relationship resides in a house potentially made of glass. Did any of that have to do with why I wanted a filipina, nope and I didn't really specifically and that as well as many other contrasts to stereotypes within my story exemplify the importance of not classifying people based on what you want and at best use it as a pool of possibility knowing that anything in it can be or not be equal to the generalization of a stereotype, you are more likely to get what you seek. Problem most often is people seek one thing and expect another. Every individuals shared desire to be a couple has a symbiotic purpose but not until you determine what that purpose is for each can decide if it is mutually beneficial, so my surmise is given the poverty level of many provinces in the Philippines and the average income of a divorced white male in their 40's seeking romance there is a larger pool of symbiotic needs, enough so to create a generalization and questions such as that which triggered this topic here and elswhere. For me though I love my doe as an individual and yes i am instinctively drawn to a small stature ( I'm not big myself) long beautiful black hair and eyes that melt my heart. And admittedly I did look at the statical value of divorced older males who marry never married younger filipina females having a much lower divorce rate .