bomberman

Hi, sorry to hear that !

Well, here's the thing.. First, and foremost before you leave the Philippines you undergone CFO seminar, right? On that seminar, you were told that in an incidence that you were battered, abused verbally or any forms, report it immeditely to any "womens shelter" in your place.You should have research about woman shelter that you can run into, they will help you for sure. Then if you are still in the process of your immigration papers, I think the US government gives a proper dealing with your case, if it were proven you were "abused" they will grant you a continuation with the process even without the sponsor/petitioner you will still be qualified. Of course, I think it needs money to work on it. That's why you need to work. Secondly, the CFO seminar said that the best thing to do if the said incedence happened is to go back to the Phillipines, why dwell on a situation that you don't deserve. You deserve better than that! Your family is back home, waiting for you. A place where you will be cared, loved.

Good luck! I hope everythings be okay with you!

One more thing, with the divorced thing. If your husand is applying he will pay for everything. But if you will apply for it here in California I'm telling you it's not that expensive. You don't need a lawyer for a divorce, just go to the court and they will tell you what to do, they have law student interns that will assist you with the paper works, etc.. If your husband will not sign your Divorce paper it's still okay but it will take awhile for it to be finish. And then, you can ask for spousal support anyways.

Good luck !

Hi, I appreciate the thought.

I didn't report it or anything since i don't want it to be a big deal and was actually hoping there's some other option to resolve the issue.

i tried suggesting to see counseling for bout of us, but he said we didn't need that, and that we are just like any other normal couple.

I'm gonna call immigration atty though, thanks for the advice.

hope everything will be ok as well!

Why NY?

She can also file herself in California after meeting the residency.

PS: Young Lady, a piece of advice. The person that files first controls the divorce proceedings.

it's being filed in NY. and HE filed for it.

Talked to a lawyer from here but they said they won't be able to do anything becaues it's being FILED in NY

The only objection I have with what you are saying is that you seem to have left him (for the reasons you explained, I won't argue those), moved to another state and hoped that he would try and bring you back regardless. If it was not 100% over for you and you were hoping for a reconciliation, you should have at least stayed in NY even if you had moved out of your common residence. On the other hand, if he was so ill tempered as you described him to be, then I don't know why you would think that he would change. Leaving someone with the hope that he will then run to take you back is always a gamble. Sometimes it pays off and sometimes it doesn't. In your case it didn't. And even if it had, I doubt he would have changed anyway.

Yes, he has signed the affidavit of support for you, and that's been used in divorce cases before as a means of forcing the other spouse to pay alimony, but the primary purpose of that affidavit is him promising the government that he will pay them back should you - the immigrant - make use of any means tested benefits while still a LPR (technically you are not supposed to, but it's happened before). It's not necessarily a financial commitment towards you, although being spouses, it is kind of expected that he will support you financially while married.

Otherwise you seem to be moving in the right direction with your life - finding a job, saving up for a flight back home etc. I'm sure you'll manage in the end and you'll be fine.

I am not expecting him to support me for a long term,, just until i find a stable job..

thanks for all your reply..

This is totally wrong.

It's only the assets that were acquired during the marriage that is up for equitable (not always 50/50) division. I doubt they have much acquired in 9 months .

In regards to alimony, "(f) The duration of the marriage." is a factor. http://www.cadivorce.com/california-divorce-guide/spousal-support/how-spousal-support-is-decided-in-california/

the divorce is being filed in NY

He bought you a $14,000 engagement ring.....Is that the reason he is in debt?

I would think that that's one of the reasons, and also he just recently flew to Asia and stayed for 2 weeks there..

He only owes you whatever the family court says he owes you, which given your short marriage, likely won't be anything. You moved out, by your choice, to the other side of the country. Worry about obtaining proof of marriage, copies of joint bills, leases, having each other on your insurance, and such.

I read about spousal support and yes you are right, family court will decide on wether i am entitled to that or not and how much. I suggested to go to a family court so it will be fair, but he'd rather not to go there. so we were just talking about it.

I moved out for reasons, I didn't want to but I felt the need of moving out. I was so close to being so depressed.

He's a good guy but his temper is getting out of the way... verbal abuse and he got physical but never felt sorry bout it. so yes, I moved out by choice and i have reasons.. we are good now and talking,,

i just really want guidance in terms of legality of my status and rights.

he still have me covered under his insurance and actually that's his concern that if we get divorced i won't have insurance anymore and that bothers him. (just because if something happens to me, he would be responsible)

we have no joint bills, leases or car together just the insurance..

You can remove conditions on your own if you can prove that you entered the marriage in good faith. IMHO, you won't have this proof for being married for less than a year but I hope that I am wrong.

You can file in California but you need to establish residency here first, especially since this is a small fry divorce for such a short period,

Now that we've got that out of the way let's get to the nitty gritty.

I would think establishing yourself fist would be a priority and not looking for a suitable place of abode for you and a Dog.

Also, if you have money to fly to California why couldn't you fly back home instead?

Finally, why do you think that he owes you spousal support? You were married for less than a year. It's one thing if he feels like being righteous if you're playing ball but to demand a certain amount seems unreasonably greedy.

I am skeptical but I still wish you good luck on your journey.

PS: Have you appraised the alleged $14k ring?

thank you for replying,

i've lived with my friends in San Jose and Lemoore for 2 weeks each when I moved here in California, hoping that he would do try to get me back with him. but that didn't happen so I applied for a job which i still have now. still looking for a better job.

I flew here with a $400 in my pocket, grateful that i have friends here that helped me survived. I didn't want to move back to the philippines right away because i was hoping that we could still work things out. but he thinks that we have one too many issues that our marriage is never gonna work out. that's when i told him to just buy me ticket to the Philippines but he says no.

I am actually saving up for my fair planning on traveling back home in the Philippines.

but rent and bills and food vs my pay will take me a while...

technically i know that he is responsible for me, he signed papers when he petitioned me. and because he is the one who brought me here,, i moved thousands of miles and mountains with no family around just to be with him but this is what happens.

and also, he asked me for a number which i was not comfortable with, and so i asked him how much he can provide he said he has no idea that's why i came up with that amount.

i left the ring so he would not blame me for his debts, i never asked for a single amount not until now, so saying "greedy" does not really help.

and yes the ring he paid for $14900. told him if he gives it back to me i won't be able to sell it coz it has sentimental value. i'd rather have him keep it.

but with my situation right now, i'm kind of considering it. i haven't appraised it yet since i don't have it with me.

I hate to say it but you should go to a lawyer. Or even go to the courthouse, see if they have anyone who may be able to help you or work pro bono (basically they volunteer their time). Family law can be complex, and once you throw immigration into the mix...and as much as you say you don't want things to get nasty, if he is digging his heels in and not helping you out...you're already there.

Some lawyers might even be able to give you a free consultation - point you in the right direction at least.

Thanks, well I already tried consulting with a lawyer from here ( Cali) but they said that i have to consult a lawyer from NY since the papers are being filed there..

I'm planning on flying there by the end of the month,, i just really don't know where to start..

Why don't you just go back home?

I wanted to, but he won't buy me plane ticket to the Philippines

You can file for removal of condition on your own once the divorce is done.

You need to provide proof of a bone fide marriage.

As for spousal support, depending on the length of marriage and the state you are in - Community Property v. Equitable Distribution.

He lives in NY and I'm in California right now. i tried consulting with a lawyer from here but they said they won't be able to do anything about it if the papers were filed in NY

Hi, i need help regarding my situation.

So me and my future ex-husband got married sometime in December of 2011, unfortunately things didn't work out for both of us that I had to leave and go to another state, supposed to be to think and for him to realized that he's willing to do everything to win me back, but it didn't happen that way. We've been separated since November of 2012, now we are looking to file for divorce (w/c i didn't want) but he thinks we're never gonna work coz of our differences..

He cut my phone and credit card and I tried asking him for spousal support since I am only getting paid less than a thousand a month with my job. We have a dog that's with him right now coz my place does not accept pets, so I am looking for a place for me and my dog coz i am getting him by the end of the month, that's Another reason why I was asking for his support. He said that I am not entitled to a spousal support since i was the one who left, (I didn't leave for no reason at all). I left because his temper issue gets in our way... he yells and curses most the time even small things that should never be a problem becomes a problem, and some intimate issues.. anyways, I was asking for 1k/month for support (he told me to give him numbers) then he said it's too much and he would only be willing to give me $350/month and also willing to give my RING back (engagement ring) , which i left because he kept on saying he was in debt, so I left it so he could pay his debts. the ring would be amounting to 12-14k.

2nd concern would be my Immigration status, my 2-year GC is expiring June of 2014, so i was wondering what will happen if we get divorce later this year how am i supposed to file the removal of condition. I read though that I can actually file for it but then we would have to sign like an affidavit that we both entered a faithfull marriage and it just didn't work out.

Please let me know where to run to. Lawyer would be my last resort. because as much as possible i don't want things to get ugly between us. and also , i won't be able to afford a lawyer.

Thanks in advance!