Chrystal and Joe

Joe did put in a formal request to end the petition. We went through a lawyer and so he dealt with it all with him. I made him end it all formally because if he didn't that little ounce of hope was still in my head for us to work things out and be together and in fact I had to face reality. So my name will be cleared with in the next month or so. Thanks to all for the help and info!

Thanks for all the kind words...it is hard right now. Some days are better then others. Its hard to keep my head up sometimes but I've gotta believe that things happen for a reason. My problem is that I'm a planner by nature and so I'm always trying to picture my future and how I can have it with Joe in it. I need to learn to live in the moment a little more. But I am like with a lot of things, bills, life in general...it just so happens that I want him to be apart of my life...my future.

Hello all,

I have some very sad news. After continuously hard times between myself and Joe we have decided to end our petition. We finally received our NOA2 in January and I just had to do my part here in Canada and Joe decided that we are not going to follow through with it.

He doesn't see himself getting married anytime in the near future and so he just wanted to end it. He was unsure, unsure and I really wanted to work it out and give it our best try and drag the process out as long as we could and then if things didn't work out we could decide not to marry then but he just wanted to end it all now.

He blames that on me because I kept pressuring him but I couldn't keep sitting around waiting for the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with tell me if he wanted to spend his with me. So I pressured him, telling him that he can't keep putting my life on hold, while I'm waiting around for him to decided if he loved me enough...I was starting to get angry and very hurt. So in the end he couldn't take the pressure any more and told me its done...we are not getting married.

This all happened over a month ago now but its just been way too painful for me to share my story yet. And it still is painful. I still cry for him...he is the love of my life and I miss him dearly.

For those of you who don't recognize my story, Joe and I orginally started the process way back last year...I received my first NOA in May. We were expecting a reply by latest mid September but it never came. There was a delay on our case and as time went by the distant and some other issues starting affecting our relationship and trouble started in October of last year. It accelerated because its so difficult to deal with problems long distance...you just don't get to see or touch the other person or feel their pain the same. So after a couple of visits and arguing and discussions we decided that I would go down there and stay a while with him...no time...just see how things were going. So we went and spent time with his family over Christmas, went skiiing, had some great fun...we always had great fun. Our good times were really good but our bad times were becoming really bad. We had tested each other to all points and now everytime an argument happened we were testing each other with the threat of it being over. So we had the first big fight when I was down there and I almost left...but we decided to work through it. Then the second came and I was done with begging so I left for home and I thought that would be the last of ever seeing him ( and it may be) but he called me appologizing while I was driving home. He didn't want to ever picture his life without me. That we would work it out. So when I got home I thought that was the plan but he started to back off again and so thats when I started pressuring. Lets also make note that 2 days after I got home I received my NOA2 which should have been a happy event but it was sad. So it dragged on for a little over a month after that and then it was decided we would end it.

And that brings me to now. I've only talked to him about 3 times in 6 weeks. Its killing me... I miss him so much and I haven't seen him for almost 3 months...thats the longest yet. God I miss him! I'm trying to give him his space as much as possible. There are a lot of things he did that were mean and they make me angry to think about them but my underlying love for him prevails and I could forgive it all.

I like to think that there could be a possibility for us to be together again in the future but then I think the the reality of it is not probable...maybe if we lived in the same country. Sucks to have our situations!

So I need to get away...I've very restless. Everthing reminds me of him and how much I love him and miss him. I've applied for cruise ship jobs. I'll be gone for long periods of time. But maybe time will help. Does anyone have any advice...should I be hopeful for the future. He says that he still wants to be good friends. Can we develop that again or should I just give up on it all.

If we were to get back together...how would the process be? Would they question us more for petitioning a second time or would it be a quicker process?

Thanks for listening...or reading in this case. I miss him so much.

Take care all, and good luck with all of your petitions.

Hello,

I have a question that I am just not sure about.

I want to know if after I actually obtain my visa can I travel to the US without utilizing it?

Reason being... is that Joe and I are not doing very well with our relationship right now...the long distance definitely has made it rough on us and so we are trying to decide if we are even going to stay together. I have received my NOA2 just recently but I don't have to actually get my visa until May and then after that, if I am not ready to use the visa yet, I know I have 6 months to use it, but what I would like to go visit Joe in the states but not go on my visa.

Does that make sense?...So I would have my visa but I would like to still go to the States without using it yet...save it for the important time that I wish to stay if we decide.

Thanks...and wish us luck...I really love him and I don't want it to end!

Hello all,

We are going through this process with a lawyer and he is not helpful at all! My address in Canada has changed since we started the process and I sent many emails to our lawyer about the change and he just said that we don't need to deal with it at that time, so I held off and quite frankly forgot about it for a while. But now he said that I have to wait to be contacted by the USC in Toronto before we move on with our next step (we have received our NOA2 after months and months wait) becuase they will send me the appropriate information to move on. So then I got thinking to myself...I bet my lawyer never did anything for the change of address...and guess what, after I contacted him again about it I learned that, of course, nothing has been done.

So he told me to contact the USC in Toronto and find out what I'm supposed to do. Does anybody know where I can get the information to contact them? And what I'm supposed to do?

In the end, I would not recommend getting a lawyer...ours was worthless and we paid a pretty penny for him!

If anyone was reading my posts yesterday about trouble in paradise with my fiance...thank you for all of you help and advice...Joe and I are going to talk again tonight and hopefully we can start on working on something that we are both happy with.

Thanks,

Chrystal

Hello all,

I talked to Joe tonight and its not looking good for us. We are going to talk again tomorrow but he is feeling like he doesn't know who he is anymore and he just wants us to do our own things right now. I want to be able to do that, its just so hard to go from being involved in someones life and loving them so much to just letting go and trying not to care.

This is soooo hard! I don't know if I should keep putting my life on hold for this or if I should move on. I wish I could move on but I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH!

I dont' want this to end!

Thank you all...this is the hardest thing that I've ever had to do...Its tearing me apart! I hope that we find a way to make it.

Hopefully I'll have better news next time I post. I talk to Joe tonight but I don't know what to say or how to go about the situation anymore. I just don't know what to do!!

I feel lost...

Thanks for all your advice...I just hate living my life in limbo...I feel like I need a plan.

We really do love each other still so I find it hard to just give up on this relationship. We were in a long distance relationship for 4 months to start and it was working out great but Joe was still in Illinois so we were able to travel back and forth every couple of weekends. I then went to stay with him and was there for 4 months and things were going well. Then we moved down to Florida so we are no longer driving distance. We came back to Canada for the holidays at Christmas and I was denied entry back into the US so I had to stay in Canada. We decided we were going to go through the process a couple of months later and filed for K-1 and received our first NOA in May of 2005. After all the stress of everything and our process being delayed we didn't handle it well. I feel like our relationship just hasn't had a fair chance.

What are the proceedures if we were to get married and things didnt' work our for us? Does anybody know that?

Hello all,

I haven't wrote in a while because Joe and I are having some major problems. Our petition was supposed to be approved back in August or September and was delayed. We found out that there was going to be additonal adjudication on our case and that it could take up to 6 months longer.

At that point we had been apart for 10 months and having a long distance relationship was really starting to cause trouble with us. The problems have now been going on for about 4 months and a lot of hard feelings have been built up because of them. Its hard to solve problems over the phone when you are not able to be there in person. I went to stay a while with him after Christmas and things would go well but when something ventured from perfect it turned into desaster. So I decided to come home again and we were going to work on ourselves and then try and get that warm fuzzy feeling back again. But 2 days after I got home in the middle of January, we received information that was supposed to be good news but instead was tiring....our K-1 petiton had been approved.

So, now we feel stuck. What should we do. I don't want to give up on this relationship but we both feel like we need more time.

Today I got thinking about our options. What if we were to go through with it and just go to the court house...its pretty much just a legal paper that we need for mariage....try not to think of it as marriage and try to live a normal life with a normal relationship like people who live in the same countries do. I could then get a job and gain my own dependence and if all is well then we can have our meaningful wedding at a later date.

My concern is what if it doesn't work out. What do we do then? What do I do then being that I'm from Canada and I'll be in the States? Do I have to file for a divorce or is this situation different? What paperwork is there?

Please if anyone could help me out that would be greatly appreciated. I really don't want our relationship to end right now but we dont' want to think of marriage yet even though I technically know that we have to.

Thanks!

Chrystal (Canadian)