chispas

Hey everyone! I used to post on occasion (under the name Aisha & Musa), but it's been a long while. I am still grateful to everyone on VJ for making the process easy for me....it was great to have a place to go to feel comfortable. I live (and work) in an African community, so it wasn't really comfortable for me to tell people that I was sponsoring my husband because they all would have said that he was using me for papers. It's so common in the immigrant communities and has happened to a lot of my immigrant students as well. So, I felt like I could share in the stories here....even though I was busy completing a doctorate, pregnant, lost a child and got pregnant again through my journey. I didn't have much time to post, pretty much like now. I'm raising an incredibly bright and beautiful 20-month old without any family around or support from my ex-husband. He sees her two days a month, if that, and I use those days to catch up on work (like today :-)

My husband probably did use me, either for papers or just use me in general (he refused to get out even after I found out about his girlfriend -why not try to live for free as long as possible?!). He didn't want to work or do anything other than his music. So my story did not turn out great. I'm sure that he was cheating all along, but he settled on a European stripper (how cliché!) that could finance his shoe/clothing/electronic/rent needs (I'm thinking why doesn't she also pay his child support??). He hooked up with her 3 months after our child was born and started a full on relationship with her a few months later. He had another woman in our apartment while I went back to work, still suffering from severe birth complications (he wouldn't look for a job). He took yet another woman to a hotel while refusing to pay any money for our child's daycare, though he had $1,000 in a separate bank account. In any case, he's a bad guy, an irresponsible father and it is what it is. I am a solo parent and totally exhausted. I work 3 jobs to provide for us...Thankfully, I am divorced! In MD, adultery cases are fast-tracked. I'm trying to accept that these 20 hour days are indeed my life for many years to come.

But anyway, I just wanted to send a hello out to the VJ African community and say that I am happy for those of you who have succeeded and are happy and much support to those who had it a bit rougher. In any case, ALL of the stories were soothing to me. I especially appreciated those who told the truth, even when many did not want to hear it. It's great that you all are still maintaining a (virtual) community and that some of you have even met! Your positivity is infectious! Take care everyone and have a happy holiday season.

My best,

Aisha

Helloooooo

I remember you very well and I'm sorry to know that you've had challenges despite the tough journey you went through to sponsor your husband. Yes, it's a tough pill to swallow when a marriage doesn't turn out to be what we expected but as long as we are able to breath and live, we will come out victorious. Thanks for the bravery in sharing your story and double thanks for actually returning to post it. It's always great to hear from those who used to post a long long time ago. I often wonder how every one is doing so it was great to know that you came back and updated us. Lots of hugs

Chispas

Hey Subbies

I hope everyone is doing well!

Removal of Conditions APPROVED.... No more USCIS for a while......YAY

Stay Blessed

Congrats to you and your husband. Don't forget us now!

Me too Chispas...

The road to obtaining a green card and citizenship has so many twists turns and exceptions its mind boggling. Obama might need to set up a commission to sort out the amount of mail he receives either asking to help a loved one or to help save us from a loved one. Shucks... he might then need a third box labeled " I've changed my mind" to handle the over-flow.

I wonder if she is one of us on VJ?

I just want to thank all in the VJ family for rallying around Boaz during these difficult times. We all came here, initially, to either get or share immigration issues while sponsoring a loved one. Through that long process, many of us relied only on each other to get through the pain of separation and the challenges presented by gathering the paperwork. When our SOs arrived, we still counted on each other to help navigate the cultural differences or simply to better understand our SOs struggles while they adjusted to life in America. To me, VJ is one of the few places I know where our friends really can feel our pain. Thank you VJ family for being supportive to Boaz during this difficult time and thanks for showering her with your prayers. Boaz, know that I'll gladly help you with anything you might need to help ease the pain while going through this new phase of life.

Hugs

still around, but busy as all get out. and does anyone have velcro carpet i can put down to keep this boy of mine from crawling and walking around the house so fast?

Wait until he starts to drive!! You'll wish you could take him back to the good ole days of crawling around the house. LOL:devil:

Hellooooooooooooooooo! Anybody home? Just wanted to see if anything new was happening. Have a great week.

Hello and Hola

Just passing through to see how everyone is doing. I'm in the Bay too Cheyemo. Glad to see you here.

Back from Brazil yet Charles? I just got back to the US myself and have to get readujsted to everything again.

Ciao todos

Wow.... awesome

He live in LA on Crenshaw for over 2 years.

K&L - I'm so sorry.

Does he want to return to LA because he knows people there or its the weather he likes? Perhaps when he saves up enough money both of you can visit LA where he used to live as a way for him to know that even though you are on an island, there are times when you can get away for a short vacation.

Hope all works out

Hola Forchika. Its been a while

I strongly suggest talking with the mental health officer at yer local sherrif's office. IMO, they have access to more resources than any staff member at the hospital.

He should have been assigned a case worker who also might have resources.

huh? care to clarify?

That was my frown face that the texts were prefabricated.

my heart goes out to you and your family you mentioned that your hubby has MS and people with MS do have some mental issues due to the effects of the disease,

Multiple Sclerosis: MS-Related Thinking Problems

About half of people with MS will experience some form of cognitive dysfunction, or impaired thinking. For most, this means slowed thinking, decreased concentration, or decreased memory. In only about 5 to 10% of MS patients is this so severe that it significantly impairs their ability to carry out daily living tasks.

Most of the time, difficulties with cognition occur later in the course of the disease; however, there are times where it occurs much earlier, and occasionally it's present with the onset of MS.

your hubby is very ill and needs your support right now i think leaving him in his current state will make matters worse he needs help, you have to be strong I agree with the others keep him away from the kids for now but get him the help he needs and once he's at least stable you can consider ending the relationship, I would also recommend that you seek help from a professional to help you deal with this issue as it poses a problem with your mental health as well as the kids, its always good to get the opinion of others but this situation is very serious and you need to seek a professional. I wish you all the best and stay strong for you and your family.

God Bless

I too noticed that she said her husband has MS. I have MS also and mine affected me terribly with the slow thinking, forgetfulness and just plain losing track of my train of thought. However, stress is one of those things that exacerbates the MS, but some of the behavior mentioned by the OP seems very unlike MS related issues. I'd advise the OP to make sure he continues to see a Neurologist while he is under psychiatric care in order to differentiate what is MS and what is psychiatric. I'd also like to know if he is getting treatment for his MS in the form of injections. If not, she could find herself having to care for someone who is wheel chair bound or bed-ridden.

Hugs

Hola Everyone.

Hi Charles. I was just thinking the other day that last year this time I was walking around like a zombie not knowing which way was up nor which way was down. Now a year later I can't believe that I no longer feel that wretched pain that hung around my neck like a noose. Whew

Yes he had emails, IM's, phone records, letters, cards and all the pics we had together which were alot. The pics on here were some of the pics we had included. Were those bad pics? Nice meeting u.

LOL, Not bad pictures at all. Sorry I didn't expound on why I asked. I wondered if she thought the ring on his finger was a wedding ring and it prompted her to ask, in an indirect way, about getting married while you were there. They look at everything in the pictures and even who is in the background of the pictures with you and your SO. I hope all works out for both you pronto.

Chispas

Hola,

Hello,

My name is Chispas and I used to be very active on VJ many mango seasons ago. I just wanted to express my understanding for your situation as I can't imagine what it must be like to be denied during the interview. I have't read any of your previous posts but I'd like to ask a question about the proof of a relationship that you submitted. By any chance did you show any of the pics you have on VJ to the interviewer or any in that series to them?

Hola.

I can't use FB at work, so most of the time I have to wait until I get home to check it. I can upload pics. from the cellphone, but that's about all I can do during the day. I do miss VJ though, perhaps just nostalgic or sick in the head, but I do miss it sometimes.

Hello Chis, Boaz, Charles, Idocare and Enlighten_one!

Hope your 2010 is a Blessed and Prosperous one.

Hello to everyone else that I missed and Happy 2010 to you all as well.

UNO

Hola Uno. Como estas? Things are a little slow right now so I'm taking full advantage of this to post. I miss the excitement of checking "crack VJ" to see what the updates for the day are. I'd love to one day have all the "oldies" like me post updates or have an online reunion of sorts. Who knows .....

Hello and Sorry to know that you have experienced this hurt. I wanted to touch bases with you on your concerns, but please know that you may not hear back from ICE and any appointment you make with them might not yield any more answers than you can receive on VJ.

You can send an AFFIDAVIT stating what you've found and have it notarized. Include copies of the evidence with the AFFIDAVIT. Don't be surprised if you don't get an answer.

Call immigration at different times of the night and ask to have the case escalated. If they tell you they can't, say thank you, call again at another time. Another option is that you can get an annulment and send that information to immigration.

If you'd like more information, I can try to share different things that I know others have tried, but there's no way to know what will happen after that. However, I do hope that you are able to some how heal after this experience.

Hugs

Chispas

My SO used Geico and they didn't ask about his UK driving record.

Good Morning Subbies and Happy New Year. I see there are new names in the forum and some old ones too. Heeeeeyyyyyyy Charles. (said with a drawl) I have some time on my hands so I'll be on and off the board just chatting.

Hello,

My husband became abusive after coming to the U.S. We are physically (not legally) seperated but working on reconciliation. He is a permanent resident but has to reapply in July. Does anyone have any experience retaining a visa after a violent offense? We have a daughter (who, thank God, was not around) and my family is willing to sign affidavits, etc.

Thank you,

Mama Mdoe

You can try to send the information to USCIS, but they may not even look at that information. I can give you further information from a similar case to you inbox.

Well,

Its now November of 2009 and the year is almost over. One year ago I was still fretting over the immigration process and now I can barely remember what I did to get here. So hello to all and hope all is going well.

Chispas

hey long time no see! don't be a stranger!

Hey... Happy Samba and Lambada to you. How's the baby? I've graduated over to the side of VJ where those who have ended the journey go. Sort of a VJ over the hill thing. Gotta quick joke for you. The ex bro in law wants me to fill out a diversity visa application for him. Ya... right...

Hugs,

Chispas

a diversity visa, right! tell him to ask you again the first day of april.

baby boy is growing every day. here's a few pics from the baby thread in off topic that nessa posted of him:

and the one from nessa's signature.

he's a joy to have around, he's always in a good mood

Charles, he is a beautiful baby! You and Nessa are truly blessed.

Between your wit and intelligence and Nessa's spit fire attitude, "watch out world!"

UNO

He looks sooooooooo happy. Good job Ustedes. So when is sis coming? LOL

Well,

Its now November of 2009 and the year is almost over. One year ago I was still fretting over the immigration process and now I can barely remember what I did to get here. So hello to all and hope all is going well.

Chispas

hey long time no see! don't be a stranger!

Hey... Happy Samba and Lambada to you. How's the baby? I've graduated over to the side of VJ where those who have ended the journey go. Sort of a VJ over the hill thing. Gotta quick joke for you. The ex bro in law wants me to fill out a diversity visa application for him. Ya... right...

Hugs,

Chispas