Empress of Groovy

Hi, ladies

I hope everyone is well! Belated congrats, Jewel! Love the new pics of the wee rugrats...everyone looks awesome. I wanted to say hello and share the news that my sister had her baby last week. Little Leo was born April 10, and mom and baby are doing well. He's a cutie, and the elderly parents (har har) seem to be adjusting just fine.

Mad-Ag is doing well--2 1/2! Here's a pic from a few weeks ago, taken at the zoo.

She hasn't seen her new cousin yet because she had a tummy bug last weekend and seems to have a weird cough this weekend, but I'm looking forward to seeing how she reacts to him. "Baby! It's a baby!" is my guess, followed by some poking.

How is everyone?

I just wanted to say, awesome, dude!

hello,

plz advise me about this delicate matter.

how do you go about commenting on a woman's dress style? I mean they are not dressing appropiately for certain occassions. how to explain it to someone like the wife without her not having a hissy fit??? thanks.

Goodness! Fortunately, that's an easy one. A flattering polyester jumpsuit in an earth tone with a coordinated lime green belt is appropriate for all occasions! It's a perfect choice for the workplace (if your wife is a career gal), Tupperware parties, or a night out, or for a more somber occasion, such as a wake or Weight Watchers meeting. In any case, it's all in the approach. Just say, "Look what I bought for you! You'll look gorgeous in this neato leisure suit!" You can bet your last gin-soaked lime wedge that she'll forget all about whatever "inappropriate" dress she's wearing and snatch that jumpsuit right out of your hands!

Good luck!

Love,

Joyce

OMG I havent seen you in awhile,Im so glad you're still here giving helpful advice!lol

Well, hello, there Ms. Panamania! I trust you're doing well and staying groovy. Did you ever straighten out that situation with your male friend who'd made a habit of emptying his bowels in your bathroom whenever he came to visit? You don't want to use up all your Avon Hawaiian White ginger perfume remedying that "foul" situation!

Love,

Joyce

Dear Joyce,

I'm taking my boyfriend home to meet my daddy for the first time tomorrow. (Gulp!) Any advice for a modern woman who wants to respect her parental abode but is wont to want to get a little frisky over the holidays with her main squeeze? I don't have time for soundproofing. Help!

Yours in near silence

Maven.

Goodness! I hope I'm not too late in providing advice for your "frisky" situation! First, I assume you'll have shag (so to speak!) carpeting at your disposal? Suggest that your father fashion earplugs out of some spare shag for a better night's sleep! He'll appreciate your concern about his rest, you can do whatever you'd like, from spending time with your groovy chap, to whipping up a big batch of cheese fondue for the neighborhood, to driving your 1977 Caprice up and down the street, "blasting" one of my 8-tracks! An advantage of the shag carpeting earplugs is that they're like conch shells, but instead of hearing the sounds of the sea, you hear constant groovy music!

I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas! I don't know about you, but I had so much fun, it's time for another Alka Seltzer and lime rickey! In a few hours, I'm expected at Angelo's supermarket to give a little Boxing Day concert in the produce aisle! My idea!

Love,

Joyce

Or a wedgie?

Congratulations on a worthily long-lasting thread, si ma'am, and may it continue.

Goodness! Thank you, Mr. TBone! I hear the iron in a T-bone steak really helps with the fullness of one's helmet! Although I stick to supplements mostly, otherwise I wouldn't be able to fit into my form-fitting polyester dress! Oh, to be able to eat anything and still look stunning in a synthetic jumpsuit...would I have to make a pact with the devil (i.e., the cotton industry)? Tee hee! Just kidding!

Love,

Joyce

Goodness! Five years of groovy advice! Could it be?!

It's time to celebrate with a G&T and an extra-large dollop of Cool Whip!

Love,

Joyce

Hi, ladies

I hope everyone is well! I've been checking this thread but haven't had a whole lotta time to post since I started a new job about six weeks ago (which is going well, by the way!). Gemmie, congrats on your little boy! How exciting! It sounds like the ultrasound tech could use a little personality jolt, geez! Ours very casually mentioned that it was a girl before adding "it's a girl!" to the image, with a little arrow pointing to the appropriate location. Jon actually missed it when she said it. She was nice, though, and had a dry sense of humor that became apparent as we went along. Still, it wasn't a shrieky moment, although I guess they're used to people going nuts (in a good way, I hope!) when they find out. And good for you re: in-laws! There's no way in hell I'd have allowed that, but fortunately my in-laws wouldn't have even thought to suggest such a thing. Speaking of in-laws, my MIL was here for 10 days over Thanksgiving and just left yesterday. Man, our place felt really small during her visit! But Madeleine loved having "nanny" here, and Jon and I even got to see two movies! We hadn't been to the movies for 18 months and saw Skyfall (rowr!) and Argo (groovy!) in the same week.

So, Mad-Ag is a big bad two-year-old! Here's her recent school pic, serious as ever!

Dizzy, I hope all is well with you, and I love the pics! The train one is awesome.

Maven, I'm going to be a pushy broad here and say, do whatever you have to do to get the divorce over and done with. Bust outta your comfort zone, blow past the burn, etc. etc. And then try for a baby with your dude too. Because they're fun and cute, if maddening and all that, etc. etc. Babies and dudes, that is.

Tracy, we need a recent pic of Em! I can be MIA for weeks and then make demands, right?

Madeleine is doing well and is talking up a storm. Just in the past couple of weeks, her vocabulary and pronunciation have really improved. The gem of the past week or so: There was some..er...indication that she had a poopy situation (we haven't started potty training yet). I said, "Do you have poopy"? and she said, quite casually, "Is jus gas." I couldn't have been prouder! Also, we're going to convert the crib to a toddler bed this weekend because she can now very easily climb out of it. She's only done it once, a few months ago during naptime (she's napped on a travel mattress on the floor ever since), and there was the expected thud and hysterical crying for about 20 minutes. But now she can swing her leg over the end of the crib--the headboard, if you will, which is higher than the rails on the side--and quite easily fall right out. I'd wanted to keep her in the crib as long as possible, but now I'm worried she'll hurt herself. So, this weekend, we'll work on strapping furniture to walls and all that. I have no idea how it will all go, but I'm hopeful that it won't be a sleeping catastrophe.

As for my sis, so far so good! And...drumroll please...it's a boy! I'm very excited. I would have been either way, but I already have a niece and a daughter, so a little boy in the family will be great. My sister is feeling a lot better and starting to show. All the tests so far have been good. I'm so excited for them and can't wait to meet the little guy.

So, that's what's goin' on!

Yesterday my mom came by and left some waxy supermarket brownies on the kitchen counter. She forgot to mention it while she was over, so when she got home, she called to let me know she left some waxy supermarket brownies on the kitchen counter. I ate one earlier. Mmmm...waxy.

Watching Koyaanisqatsi. Again.

I only discovered that film recently (about a year ago). I couldn't believe I'd never heard of it! If it had been available on video in the 90s, just about everyone I knew in college would have had it on a continuous loop.

Time to make a bowel movement.

Lucky you!

14W, the day after I bought my last truck, and I prefer prescription narcotic pain killers, although my doctor is a little stingy with them.

Stool softeners are key, I've learned. Re: narcotic painkillers, that is.

Now I remember why I left.

Oh, quit being such a fuddy-duddy. Tell us your shoe size, the last time you bought tires, and your favorite OTC analgesics.

Boy did I have a wacky day! It was a regular work day, and as I was pulling out of my condo's underground parking garage to head to the office, I heard a terrible noise! I was afraid that perhaps the transmission in my 15-year-old car was about to explode, but not so afraid that I kept from driving the 15 miles to work, which includes highway driving. When I arrived at the office, I was relieved to discover the source of the noise: the plastic shroud thing in the front of the car had come loose and was dragging on the ground. Thank Jessup! I was even able to remove it myself. The remaining screw holding it onto the car was so loose, I didn't even need a wrench! Just my dainty fingers. I hope no one in the parking garage tried to sneak a peek while I was on my knees next to the car, stilettos in the air.

For lunch, I had a chicken focaccia sandwich, a side salad, and half lemonade, half iced tea from the drink station. I like iced tea and lemonade, so I made a mixture.

On the way home, some dickwad pulled out in front of me and proceeded to go about 10 mph. It's snowbird season. Lots of Lincoln Town Cars and Ford Crown Vics that look like they're being driven by...no one. They pay no mind to rules of traffic or indeed the laws of physics.

At one point during the day, I looked out the window. At first, I thought I saw several MILFS mud wrestling (cue Kip), but it turned out to be a pile of mulch. I think an optometrist appointment might be in order.

What's with the wine glass and sweater? Shouldn't he be in denim, chugging Meister Brau, and eating a steak with his bare hands?

I was so sad to wake up today on my vacation in France and read about Derek Jeter's injury.....so sad

What a crying shame!

My mom was over last night to watch the game. She literally giggled as Jeter was being helped off the field.

Tell us more.

You HATE children, women, and CHOICE! You, Ms. Cocktail, are a MONSTER!!!

Sis update: She saw her OB earlier in the week, and apparently the 1:69 figure still factors in my sister's age. The OB is pleased with the figure. So far so good! Given this, I don't think she'll go for any sort of invasive testing. Next up is the anatomy scan in a few weeks.

Nice car empress but I never had you pegged for a blonde...or did you have your hair dyed in that pic?

The resemblance is truly striking!

I had an '81 B210 for five years. It was indestructible.

It looked just like this, minus the whitewalls:

I'm ready to burst into tears just looking at the picture. I'm such a sap, I'd definitely consider another Datsun just because.

Sounds like you're very proud of him.

I don't know about where you come from, but where I'm from, it is the norm to take college classes in your last two years of high school. Most offer dual high school/college credit.

You clearly HATE WOMEN, she-wolf!

How about a cloth diaper sprayer? They're about $40 and connect easily to the water supply to the toilet. We cloth diapered our baby for a few months, and it was very useful and easy to install (in fact, I believe it was called a "mini-shower"). I'm not all that handy and was able to do it in about 15 minutes with no leaks. You do need to have the flexible-type toilet connector hose, though, as opposed to the copper type. I've also seen tutorials online about attaching a kitchen sprayer to the toilet, which is a cheaper option. Using it for hygiene purposes may be a bit on the cold side. On the other hand, it may be refreshing!

A lot of people are looking to escape snowy winters.

I'm starting to feel really inferior. I think I need a new muumuu to lift my spirits.

I would help you, but my life is so marvelous that I don't have time for the silly things like cooking my own food.

I'd stay and chat, but I'm off to my naked pilates class.

Are you capable of microwaving a jar of Cheez Whiz?