SWEETEPIPHANY67

I am late but just came across this topic when I googled "why are some Jamaican women so rude". I know that not all Jamaican women feel or think the same. Over the years I have met some wonderful, loving and caring, sweet Jamaican women whom I love to death.One of my BFF's is a Jamaican woman. I travel to Jamaica often and I have experienced the sneers and the stares. But it is not only from the women who are looking to cause relationship problems that the rudeness comes. I have been to very few establishments where there is good customer service. I am used to being greeted with a smile or at least a cordial attitude here in the states. To not do so could cost a person their job. But in Jamaica, instead of being greeted with "Hello. How may I help you" or "May I take your order", I have been greeted with "Wa yuh wan" along with rolling eyes and impatients. My friend and I went into a shell station, my friend not knowing that she had to pay for her cup before she could get ice and a drink (as we do in the states) was yelled at "Hey wa yuh do. Yuh nah pay fi dat." The store clerks were super rude. Oh and GOD forbid that you are not sure what you want when you get up to the counter...."Wah yuh want? Wah yuh want!!! Next!" is what you will get, Still the funny thing is I have never experienced that same rudeness from a Jamaican man....Perhaps its as someone once said...Its just a cultural difference...We can't hold them to what we consider standard...

I have cried my eyes out. At work. I am exhausted and just flat out drained from this whole process. My fiance had his interview today in Kingston. We were denied. He said the officer had issues with our pictures. They were not all dated. There was at least 30 pictures there. And no, not all of them were dated but I had submitted copies of my passport with entry dates and coinciding boarding passes. I don't understand, what more could she have possibly wanted. My fiance said that she said, I am sorry but we can not approve your K1 visa today. Your pictures are not dated and we need more proof. We had digicel records, western union receipts, my ring receipt, some cards that I had sent him, and a sh*t load of pictures.She told him the best option for us was for me to come there and marry him, then file for a spousal visa. He said she kept everything: all of the forms, I-134 with my paystubs, bank info, employment letter, his no impediment certificate, police record, medical, and all of our evidence and pictures. Just gave him back his passport stamped with a green slip with todays date stating we can not apply for another K1 visa for a year. Help please. With what I should do, who to contact, or where do I go from here. I love him whole heartedly but I just do not know if I can go through this process again.

I am soooo sorry. I cry with you today. My fiance has a year ban as well. But I wont take it laying down. With the help from some of the other VJ members, I have taken the necessary steps to have the consular's notes released to me and the keep the original K1 visa from expiring. And you can most certainly apply before one year. If you have to refile, then you should time it so that he will be having his new interview at least a year after his original denial. Its up to you if you want to get married or wait. Getting married wont change the year that you have to wait and it wont guarantee approval. If its really love, this time will surely tell. Trust me, this has put a strain on my relationship but I know that if we can endure this, our love will only be made stronger. Stay strong and trust in the LORD...lean not to your own understanding...Its not the end of the world, but it is the beginning of a fight for your love.

Kim, your approved I-130 do not expire, that is why I stated in one year just request another interview date. Those who file for a K1, will have to re-file all over agin, because their I-129 will expire.

I am not sure that K1 filers will have to refile. There is someone here who obtained in writing that they wont have to refile and I called USCIS and was told that even if it does expire, once it has been reviewed and requests for evidence has been approved, another approval letter will be issued with a new expiration date. I do not have that in writing, however, I am working on getting that.

Aye sah...

so much speculation and miss-information in this thread!

SWEETEPIPHANY67 I am sooooo sorry

Sus is right! You must find out exactly WHY the CO questioned the validity of the relationship.

Even if you marry now and file a CR1 you will need to address these concerns. The Embassy will send your case back to USCIS for revocation based on their belief that your relationship was for immigration purposes only. When they do this they must include SPECIFIC reasons for their denial. You can get this information by filing a Freedom Of Information Act request for the Department of State asking specifically for the consular notes on your returned petition: http://foia.state.gov/foiareq/foialetter.asp

Because you are at the Vermont Service Center you may have an opportunity to respond to a Notice of Intent to revoke and keep the K1 alive to wait out the ban.

As for the marijuana use it kills me... my husband has been permanently banned from our country. If I were charged with the same "crime" in my state I would pay less of a fine than I would pay for talking on my cell phone and driving.

I am here to support you

Dear friend,

I cant thank you enough. You have earned a friend for life. I am here if you need me. GOD bless you and yours always.

First let me thank everyone here for all their help along the way while filing my CR-1 and getting me through this process. It has been one heck of a roller coaster ride. And truly the help here has been invaluable. I don't believe I could have done it without you.

CR-1 Peitition was approved! Medical done! Consulate interview fantastic! BUT we have a snag in the process now. The medical test became a problem. My husband admitted to trying marijuana in the past as a teen. We have been honest in this process and did not want any problems with not being 100% upfront with anyone. Of course, that seems to have opened a whole new bucket of worms. The urine test was positive.

So I guess the going away party the night before was a bit premature. My athlete, health conscious, non-drinking husband who won't even take an aspirin apparently did something? I won't go into it. It is baffling to me at this point. That's the best I can do to assume what happened. No drug test will show a positive result from him sitting in a car full of men smoking on a trip back from training camp. Which did happen that week...

He was told that he would have to undergo testing quarterly for a year. The consulate employee told him that upon completion of this his visa would be approved. I have not received a notice or denial. When I spoke to them on the phone at the consulate I was told he would undergo 1 year of testing and not given any more information. It was like pulling teeth to find out where we go next. Basically, the answer was after he tests negative for a year we will talk.

My question is now what do I expect? Do waivers need to be filed for? The I-601 process has been stopped according to a memo I saw online at USCIS. Will his papers or original submissions expire? The CR-1 petition was approved. Where do I go from here? We are trying to get an idea of what to do next before I start packing my bags to move to Morocco and wait out this fiasco.

Please no bashing. I've already done enough of the "I can't believe this...," and "how could you..." . Yes, there are some people 'that' naive. They exist. Any help would be greatly appreciated. And as always, thank you for listening!!! This is cheaper than therapy. ;-)

Best regards, Kim

Hi Kim,

My name is Kim as well and my fiance's visa was denied last week based on admitting to marijuana use within the year and also testing positive (although nothing was presented to prove that he tested positive). He was also told that we didnt prove this to be a bona fide relationship ( with 100s of photos, yahoo chats, receipts, love notes and 8 visits). I am not sure exactly how to proceed. I have made necessary phone calls, emailed the Embassy and my state representative. I will not give up on my love. We are in this together. You are not alone. At this point, all I can say is BE ENCOURAGED. I will be praying for you. GOD bless you and yours on this journey and fill your lives with miracles, love and blessings.

Kim

you and ur fiance will be just fine, reason i say this is because u guys are in love and not giving up! in the end, it will work out just fine!

and if u dont mind me asking, what was the question on chapter 13?

He was asked if he was aware that I had filed Chapter 13. Im assuming that was because he had presented Western Union receipts. And they were probably thinking that it the Chapter 13 is because of my helping him. But that isnt the case at all.

In your last post, I presented everyone one of your red flags in a question forum. It's not just about getting married, it's also about correcting these red flags. The drug rehab, follow-up is a MUST. It was noted in his files so don't think it was ignored by the CO.

Your interview dated for the new petition must be a year after the orginial date of denial. So timinig in filing is very important.

The first question the CO focused on was you have been to Jamaica 8 times, never once did you bring your children to be formally introduce to their new expected step-father.

Thank you for your response. I already have my suspicions as to what caused the red flags. It has more to do with the Chapter 13 question. But that was a situation that had nothing to do with my fiance. It was long before he came into the picture. I never followed through with it and it was cancelled.I mentioned it to him before but didnt think it was improtant. But I could see how that must look to a CO. My fiance presented western union receipts (which I thought would show that I am capable of supporting him when he is here) but I had been in Chapter 13. That wouldnt look too good to me either. Still it wasnt what it seemed.

Now if it did have something to do with the fact that I hadnt taken my children, then that would say to me that there is a major flaw in the system. How can someone who has children and never taken them to visit (some right here on VJ)get approved and we get denied for the same? Makes no sense. Still if that was an issue then that would be something that should be explained by me. Keep in mind, this man has been in our lives for well over a year now. My kids interact with him in their own way. So the next time, we will share the yahoo conversations between him and the children. We will show the daily texts and phone logs for them.

As far as drug rehab. I dont see where that is requested nor required. However, we will do the random drug testing as I feel that is a great idea. By the time the USCIS has received the packet back from the Embassy, the approval will have expired and they will not reopen an expired case. And we are not planning to marry until January. We will then file at the end of January. My parents and stepparents will be in attendance along with a couple of my siblings, my children and my cousin and a close friend. If we had known the things we know now, we would have gotten married last year. This is a learning process. Unfortunately, sometimes life teaches us lessons that we have to pay for before we learn.

Again...thank you so much for you help. GOD bless you. Miracles, love and blessings.

Well, congrats for staying in love, still! That is awesome! Glad for both of you. Keep loving always. Yeah, it is better to marry and apply for spousal visa. It is a little more wait than K-1, but, at least your fiance gets GC few weeks after POE. What matters most is you two love each other forever and ever ! God bless you and your fiance.

Our love has endured and we wont give up. Thank you so much for the encouragement. GOD bless you and yours. Miracles, love and blessings.

Here's a comparison chart where you can read about processing times.

http://www.visajourn...content/compare

Disregard the K3 option, as it's an obsolete visa.

**Moved from K1 to Regional forum, as the situation may be best addressed by other members going through that consulate.

Thank you. This information is very helpful. GOD bless you and yours.

Well, it has been a week since my fiance's visa was denied based on marijuana use and failure to prove that this is a bonefide relationship and not just for immigration purposes. We are still crushed but more determined than ever. I was in Jamaica for 5 days with him and we are even more in love.

At the interview, he was given a letter stating that he failed to prove that this is a bonefide relationship. But he wasnt given anything concerning marijuana use or a ban? Should he have been provided with something written, explaining all of the reasons for the denial and what the options are?

We are considering just going ahead and getting married in Jamaica. I know that if we do that, it will change our status and we will have to start over. How long does it normally take to get a visa approved for a spouse?

Thank you all for your help and your words of encouragement. GOD bless you all and miracles, love and blessings to you and yours.

As far as the denial for the drug part he will have to show a rehab program. This might mean he will need to show drug testing done in interval priods of time.

In egard to the relationship, that denial was probably based on how he answered any questions that were asked of him.

You said that you have traveled down 8 times, I am quite sure the questions were asked what did you'll do durning those visits? Such as activities, where did you'll stay, who paid for the activities, who iniative the visits, what did you'll do with family, how often did your boys come down with you.

They probably asked alot of questions regarding your boys and his interaction with them.

Pictures were the least of their concerns.

There was something you said in an earlier post, why should marrying him now show commitment. If you go back thru with the K1, that will make the CO stand on their intial assessment. What's the diffrence between marrying now, and marrying 90 days after arrival in the US.

We do lots of activities when I am in Jamaica. He pays for those. My boys havent been to Jamaica. But they spend time online with my fiance and they talk often on the phone. They were super excited about him coming. They even text him for male advice. It is sad that certain rules apply to certain people or maybe even depend on the mood of the CO. Because there are many right here on VJ who only visited once and never carried their children. There should be a set guideline.

He said that the CO asked him why we didnt get married in Jamaica. The pix werent all that he had. He had yahoo chats, some from over a year ago and some from the present. He had letters and copies of a napkin that he writes little love notes on each time I am in Jamaica. I think it was really the questions and answers.

You need to get to the bottom of why they felt you didn't have enough proof - that typically isn't a reason for the denial - as for the ban, there is no getting around that - just be grateful the law changed and it is one year, not three as it was in the past. As for getting married - Yes, you can marry now in JA and file an I-130 - You just have to time it so that his interview on that will be after the date of the 1 year ban - there are other members who did that and their spouse is now in the US.

Thank you. This is quite helpful. GOD bless you and yours.

We were denied once last year. Hired a lawyer, filed for the same k1 again and we got approved. So, try try again

Thank you for the encouragement. GOD bless you and yours.

Because spending too much time with the family/knowing the family/having been previously introduced to the family etc. came be perceived as a marriage arranged (sometimes for cash) by the family for the purpose of bringing their loved one to the States.

Ok. I see. Thank you for the advice. GOD bless you and keep you.

Madam I never said that on this thread.

I have no isses with making sacrifices, it's a good personal trait. The sacrifices you made are not in vain but it's a two way street and I only wish that your SO had made his own sacrifices too.

I continue to wish you the best in the rest of the journey.

I do apologize. I have been bouncing back and forth trying to respond to everyone's comments. It was not you who made that comment. I am so sorry. I am sure he will do better. I love him and love bears all things.. We are in this together. We will use this year to grow and bend where we must. Thank you for your responses. May GOD continually bless you and yours.

Wow, so sorry to hear that. So, does that mean you have a 1 year ban before you can re-apply or a 1 year ban before it can be approved? If it is 1 year before it can be approved, possibly you can re-start the application process about 7 months in to the ban. I wish you all the best of luck. Like to see your positive attitude.

Thank you for the positive vibes. I will research and even consult an attorney. I wont give up on him. Im sure of our love. GOD bless you and yours.

Sue whom?

I don't think it would be a good idea to bring up in the packet, or at the interview, that his family visits you in the US.

Ok. But what is wrong with that? She is a citizen. She just moved back home to Ja to care for her sick daughter. But she comes to the states to visit her relatives here and I dont live too far so she came to visit with me. When I am Ja, I visit her.

I certainly was not HARPING on your SO marijuana use that is your business and future to deal with...and reading back most people tactfully avoided judging his choice

I was only seeing it as poor choice, particularly, before a scheduled medical only to further difficulties in approving his visa. You Post very kind towards other members on here, and about your SO...I wish you the best outcome for you and your teenage sons in your journey.

Thank you and I do apologize if I come off wrong. I just wanted advice as to how to proceed. I sincerely wish everyone all the best in their journey. May GOD bless you and yours.

We were denied once last year. Hired a lawyer, filed for the same k1 again and we got approved. So, try try again

Ok. Thank you for sharing your experience. We will weigh it all out and proceed. I am not giving up on him. We are in this together. GOD bless you and yours.

OK I don't understand why everyone keeps coming up with different theories as to why he got denied. The man failed a medical test due to drug use. I imagine the CO probably found this completely annoying when it was presented to he/she. They probably assumed if he couldnt stay clean for this short time period to get this process done, he isnt taking the relationship/ process seriously. ( I don't think that, but I can easily see that being the common reaction). So even if he went there and answered every question with perfect confidence and their packet was organized perfectly, since these interviews are subjective the CO could of found any reason to deny his petition out of pure annoyance.

I am glad OP is having a positive attitude about this because like I said before I would kill my fiance! but then again I unfortunately don't have the opportunity to visit so often.

I love him and Im sure of his love for me. We will take this and learn from it. Trials only come to make us stronger. Thank you and GOD bless you and yours.

The evidence of your relationship seems average which is good. The problem may be organization and presentation. If it was 'so-so' before make it perfect next time. For more evidence (if not done before) maybe submit important snippets of conversations between you and his family members & vice versa (eg asking about: school reports/tests, birthdays, extra curricular activities, events that adults attended, accomplishments, disappointments).

As said before how your husband answered the CO may have raised a red flag. He should be calm and sure of himself at the next interview. Also I would suggest that you tell your fiance everything about your life (short of intimacy details) presently and in the past esp the financial aspect since there is always a paper trail (can't hide from CO) and that bankruptcy from your previous marriage seems to have caught your fiance off guard. If I were the CO and your fiance had no idea about you filing Chap 13 I'd probably deny you too since it's hard to believe a true relationship filled with love and honesty would have one partner not privy to this monumental type of info.

Do you have pictures of you with your future MIL and SIL? Do you have pictures with your fiance with your ex step mother and cousin? If you do then next time submit/carry those to the interview along with other photo evidence that shows these ain't some hobos you paid to be in a picture pretending to be your MIL, SIL, stepmom or cousin.

Just for information sake. It takes 7 years for a USC mother to get her unmarried son over 21 to the US, 12 years for siblings and as little as 6 months for fiance of a USC. And the wait time for Mexicans & Filipinos is twice as long. Which is shorter? Which is the obvious answer? Plus there are factors as to why some family can't or refuse to file for family members in their native country.

Thank you for the advice and I assure you that we will be more than ready the next time. We will take this as a learning experience. As far as the Chapter 13, it never went anywhere. It was discharge before it went anywhere. So it wasnt anything of importance. And really Im not sure if I told him about it or not. I have pix with just about everyone in his family. When in Jamaica, I am at the house. His mom just left Florida visiting me. And yes, he has pix with my family members. About the family being able to file for him...he is 44 years old and his mother and his sisters have been citizens a long time. He could have been here if he had chosen to. But again...thank you. Miracles, love and blessings to you and yours.

I perfectly understand the pain your feeling right now.I went through the same thing in January these year.I felt as if the world had crushed on me.With all the evidence being denied on lack of bone fade relationship was crazy.We dint give up,we still crazy in love with each other.Its difficult but we are still fighting.Be strong all will be well at last.Keep fighting for your love and at long last you will make it.

Thank you for the positive vibes. Miracles, love and blessings to you and yours.

Regarding the drug test; was he not aware that he would be tested for THC during his medical?

I would suggest paying for a drug test before he goes in for his next immigration medical to ensure that you aren't wasting time and money again.

Here is some helpful information:

Some THC metabolites have an elimination half-life of 20 hours. However, some are stored in body fat and have a elimination half-life of 10 to 13 days. Most researchers agree that urine tests for marijuana can detect the presence of the drug in the body for up to 13 days.However, there is anecdotal evidence that the length of time that marijuana remains in the body is affected by how often the person smokes, how much he smokes and how long he has been smoking. Regular smokers have reported positive drug test results after 45 days since last use and heavy smokers have reported positive tests 90 days after quitting.

Thank you. But I recently read a report that said that it is possible for marijuana to still be detected in the body after a year. I dont know if that is true. But I still thank you for this information. GOD bless you and yours.

Waiting to be together is hard and I can understand partly what you are enduring sorry for this...but how blessed you are both that you can catch a plane and be with him on Thursday!!!

You seem not so uncomfortable with your SO smoking what he smokes...but as u posted it DID have a part to do with his denial...

Did your Fiance know Smoking Marijuana is illegal in the U.S? and if he did.... he still partook of it with a medical coming up?

Why chance the denial of what is important to you and him both?

I dont nor have I ever smoked. However, I do know people who have. I wont debate the rights and the wrongs. No one here knows exactly how long it stays in the system. I have read several different reports that say different things. But it has to do with many different things. I love him and that is what I will stand on. Ive asked for help in finding out what our options are...and many are helpful. But most want to harp on the marijuana use. Well that part is what it is. It happened. Now where do we go from here.

1) Perhaps they are not self employed like you and cannot afford to travel as often as you do. Additionally, JA is relatively close to US.

2) The USCIS requirement is to have met at least once in two years and they even offer a waiver for that.

I would wager that 99% of VJers hate being apart from their SOs (I know I am). I wish I can see her monthly but priorities dictates otherwise. In any case your case has demonstrated that number of visits is just part of what the COs look at.

IMHO, with the network you seem to have down there I would just get married and see if you can operate your business down there.

I have two teen sons. I cannot just uproot them and move them to another country. It would not be fair to them. I am considering everyone and everything. As far as the VJers here...Im sure that they do miss their SO's. I only made that statement because you pointed out that my zeal to be near the one I love could be misconstrued as desperation. Its crazy...The USCIS requires that we only meet once in two year...I have fulfilled that requirement many times over...so why would I be penalized for that? I am a long way from being wealthy by some standards...but I was always taught to sacrifice for the ones you love. Maybe I have been taught wrong...hmmm.

Well, you don't have to get married, it will just make the next round a bit easier. Also, if you refile the CR1, he will be eligible for more upon his arrival. Glad you are so positive about this, it makes things better. Again sorry for this kind of outcome..

Jah bless & One Love (L)

I am considering this option. I just want to be sure. I dont want any further delay. Thank you so much for you helpful advice. Blessings to you and yours.

Well, since you asked...I have cards and letters. He presented all of that. On my second visit he wrote a note on a napkin to me. I carry that napkin in my wallet and on each visit, he writes something special on that napkin. The napkin is full now with little love notes. He even took a copy of that to the interview. The problem may have been in his answers to some questions...Have you met her children? He responded by telling them that he speaks with them on the phone and they chat online. But he has never met them as they have not been to Jamaica. They asked if he knows about my exhusband and he stated that he does know what I have told him but he doesnt know any more than that... Then on the Western Union printout they noticed that I has sent money to his daughter and wanted to know why. He told them that I had sent her money for her birthday. And one other time which he got upset about. He told me that I shouldnt give them things without his approval because he doesnt want them to think that its that easy. They asked if he knew that I had filed chapter 13 in the past. Well, that wasnt important. So I dont know if we talked about that. As that filing was a result of the divorce and it has been discharged.

My cousin met him when she visited Jamaica. My mother speaks with him on the phone. He and my eldest daughter text and chat often. My younger boys were excited about him coming. He talks with my sister and other family members. My dad's ex wife has a dentist office in Kingston and she knows him. I am close with his family here and there. His sister is a doctor in Atlanta Georgia. His mom is a citizen. He didnt need me to get him to America.

As far as being desperate...Well, I am a quite attractive woman if I do say so myself. I have no self esteem issues. I own my own business ( for 12 years ) and I am a homeowner. I have 99 problems and a man isnt 1...lol. I have read many statuses on here where women have traveled several times over to see their men... Not out of desperation...But likely because they truly do love them. When you are in love, you dont want to be apart. So maybe I should question those who find it easy to only see the one they say they love twice a year. Not only have I read those statuses about the visits...But I have read those of people who have known each other for less time than Ive known my fiance.

So once again...I dont take anything you have said as a negative. I do understand what you are saying. And I will take it all into consideration. Thank you again. Miracles, love and blessings to you and yours.

Oh and I forgot to mention that three of those 8 visits were of no cost to me. Spirit Airlines delayed a flight and I missed a connecting flight in the Bahamas...they put me up at the Marriott and then they gave me a voucher for another flight. Caribbean Airlines had a delayed flight due to mechanical problems and they put us up at the Pegasus and gave a voucher. His family flew me in to surprise him on his birthday on another flight...Again...thank you for your reply to this topic.

I remember you asked about smoking 'weed' a few weeks ago and you were told that if it is detected in his system from the medical he would receive the one year ban.

Although you kinda expected it you will still feel the dissapointment because you care very much for each other.

Since you can visit him often that will have to do for now until you can start the journey again. Good luck for the future you are in my prayers.

I am disappointed...But not enough to give up on the man that I love. I will just continue to visit when possible and we have the phone and internet. Love will prevail. Thank you for the encouragement. GOD bless you and yours.