HBug

HBug, I totally understand your situation, been there done that with husband working away in a war zone, its tough.
Do you have any family to support you, are his family around and being of support? Are you getting any kind of support with regards the kids? You must be finding it hard, a new country, husband away and three children on your own all the time, its not easy.
I am guessing you still love your husband and he loves you? If so try to make it work, for your sake and the kids.
I send you big hugs and a whole bunch of understanding, take care

I was overseas for many years on long trips so sure, I met a scammer once. The main thing was actions not matching words. So I never applied for a K-1. That's why living with them for any length of time will expose them, even if the whole family is in on the scam. I can see why it is pretty easy to dupe people on the internet and fake your way through a couple weeks of in-person meeting or whatever. Especially if you are staying in a hotel or maybe not even the same city. That's what many professional scammers will do: the Filipina scammers will say it is too dangerous to meet you in their city. Because she's married with two kids, not because of gangsters.
Here are some of the classic red flags besides their actions not living up to their words: Professing unbounded love right away and rushing in to marriage. Breaking agreements. Using emotional manipulation. Being secretive. Being clever about managing what you see of their past, their family, friends, pervious work & etc. Unpredictable behavior: The most tender, loving person one day and the opposite the next. With money especially they will piss it away and have endless reasons why more needs to be sent. But if you show hesitancy in the relationship, and the really big money down the road is at risk, suddenly they can do without. The relationship seems to improve. You are tricked into thinking he loves you when all he is doing is the minimum necessary to keep the scam alive.
There are too many stories to count over the years at this forum. But the best are the ones with strippers. Ukrainian strippers, Thai strippers - I don't care which kind of strippers they are but they always spice up the thread.

Thank you.
I've said this many times before.
K1 needs to be overhauled. The process shoudl be that we submit all the documents as we normally do to USCIS and State and our fiancees gets the same benefit as a VWP person.
Our fiancees can be more easily picked up because we've given the government all the details they would need for deportation.
For sure.
Why?

I think that most people are either completely blind sighted or they are in denial about it... they see the signs, but refuse to believe that a person that they think they love and loves them would do something like that. I think it can go both ways.
I think that listening to you gut instinct can be very telling in these types of sitations. I also think that you need to ask yourself, if you were to say to your spouse, let's move to YOUR country instead, not the US, what would their reaction be? Even if it is a third world country, would you move there if you had to and how would they feel about it?

Don't rush to make major decisions mate. Some of us have been where you are at now and believe me this requires a cool head.
I'm not saying stay with your Wife but consider how you can at least stay in the US so that you can see the children.
I sense your desperation (I know that feeling as I've been) and it pains me.