JayJay

BBbaaaaaaaaaaahhHHHH!

Yes, this. Commenting on my heavily pregnant, enormous status. I should post a picture of me, I am totally lopsided. I am as big as a barn. I can't turn corners without bashing into something (which then gives me pain for the next few hours/days) and I honestly think this baby is ready to come now. But she doesn't want to.

She likes it in my belly.

I want to dress her up.

At this rate she'll outgrow all her newborn onesies and socks, before she's even born, forcing me to go to Target and spend even more of my hard earned cash...

Aaaargh!

Okay rant over. Thanks for this thread

Interesting! That would be frikken AWESOME for some people I know!

Bring it on. Then again of course, some spoilsport will probably figure out how to make meth (or similar) with the benzo as a key ingredient; start shooting it and it'll be banned.

Just wanted to say I'm sorry that your ex is more concerned about his beer than you and your (and his) baby. I wish the birth of your baby well without any complications

Ah, it's okay - actually he isn't my ex - he's my guy. He's a good guy too - with a problem (like so many others)! I just have to put my foot down for the sake of the baby, is all.

Rebecca, you know you're right Actually I didn't even mean to get into all that on this thread - I suppose I am very pregnant and hormonal and it just kinda "came out" ya know? I did answer my own questions in the end anyway. Thinking out loud always gets me into trouble! But anyway - my mother still hopes that when she comes, it'll all be fine and he'll get help and change, etc etc etc (all that). I suppose I am just a pregnant, hormonal, pessimistic monster at the moment and I'm just preparing for the worst.

In the end, I love him. He loves me. He has a problem. I'm hoping in my heart of hearts that this problem kind of releases it's grip on him as I have the baby (ALIVE this time!!!) and he feels less of a need to worry. Maybe then we can concentrate on solving the underlying issues, and this won't ever be a problem again...

Aaaahh...and I am usually SUCH an optimist. Being 38 weeks pregnant with a baby who feels quite enormous is taking it's toll on my brain and my body, I reckon...

Anyway, I'm not trying to incite controversy or anything of that nature. Simply trying not to create a crazy situation. And trying to introduce my daughter to her English family which as far as I am concerned is not at all horrible or scandalous.

Also I am hoping it doesn't come to that. But right now, he's rather heavily involved with his beer: to such an extent that most likely, I'm going to have to get someone else to drive me to hospital in labor. Without the beer, he's fabulous. With the beer...well, let's just say he simply should not be drinking beer! I love him very much and completely empathize with the reasons he feels he needs to drink (our daughter's death having been the trigger), but nonetheless, can't have a child around that type of behavior! As I said, I would not try to take his daughter away, or prevent him from seeing her: I'm a reasonable person after all. But, I have to make sure she is protected. I'm her mama.

Check over at uk-yankee.com for answers about registering your child's birth abroad. I believe it should be done within three months of birth, but please confirm this at uk-yankee.

Also, simply not listing your child's father on Isobella's birth certificate serves no real purpose other than to promote controversy. It would be easy enough for your partner to avail himself of the courts for paternity. As he has custody of his two children by his prior relationship, I'm sure he's not intimidated by our US family court system. Also, not listing the father can be foolish move on your part insofar as obtaining child support for your daughter (something you should seek on matter how self-sufficient you consider yourself).

Lastly, if you are thinking that not listing your daughter's father on her birth certificate would make it easier for you to remove her from the US to the UK, that is a fallacy. The US and UK both signed onto the Hague Convention and your partner could claim abduction under that agreement.

Well I'm actually not trying to "remove" her at all. I simply want to take her for a visit. Under MN law, if I were to claim child support (which I would not do anyhow) he would actually not have to be on the birth certificate at all.

Additionally yes, he could go for the whole paternity test thing as well, if he wanted to, but that would be on his cost and time. All I am trying to do is to ensure my daughter is not brought up in a home with an active alcoholic!

I also did a bit of research on NOT putting his name on, and actually, the action of not listing him would indeed give me sole legal custody of the child, and he could indeed NOT claim any kind of "abduction" if I were to take her to the UK for a visit because simply listing myself as the mother and nobody as a father would give me the legal rights over the child. Naturally I wouldn't be thinking of doing this if the last nine months hadn't been completely riddled in drunkenness, instability and irresponsibility on his part for both the welfare of myself and his existing two children.

I do believe in making relationships work, and working on them, but certainly never, ever at the expense of a tiny child. I am his woman, not his mother, and I won't put my child in mental or physical danger. If that means (at least initially, until he has chosen to sort himself out) not putting his name on a birth certificate so that this tiny little baby doesn't get stamped on in revenge for my potential leaving the situation (at least temporarily) then that's exactly what I will do.

Lastly, it seems pretty easy to put his name ON the birth certificate at a later date - would simply involve him and I signing a "recognition of parentage" form and submitting it to the state.

All together I simply won't have, as I said, a tiny child going through hell because her Daddy is going through hell and chooses not to do anything about it. I'm not even talking about taking the child away from him - not at all. Simply the legal right to mess with her wellbeing if he feels angry with me for leaving with the baby, should I choose to do that for my own mental wellbeing and the wellbeing of the child.

Does that make any more sense?

Hmmm - okay. I am therefore presuming that if I leave the father's name OFF the birth certificate, I can do this process by myself?

Now, please don't presume that I'm doing THAT for the sake of convenience - there are a number of other very important reasons I may actually choose not to put him on the birth certificate (serious relapse in alcoholism in the last nine months; inability to behave properly to his other two children caused by depression; not getting help for that depression or the booze problem (which is, yes, caused by the death of our other daughter, sure); my knowledge for certain that this will continue after she is born...). We do live together at the moment, but if the familial situation continues, I may have to stop living with him until he chooses to get help (or not) and most certainly do not plan to involve an innocent child in any wranglings. He's not (at this time) in any fit state to make any decisions about the proper raising of a child. It's a long and complex situation, basically...I could go into more detail but hopefully that will suffice. I'm not trying to remove her from his life - I AM trying to keep her safe emotionally, and really, it's crunch time as far as that is concerned!

All in all, I simply want to be able to take my little daughter out to meet her English family for a couple of weeks. My home is here in the US - I'm coming back after those two weeks. Can't imagine trying to get a notarized letter from an angry drunk regarding my taking the child I love to meet her grandparents though... I can't imagine what her passport picture will look like at 4 weeks old - how funny!

Hi there!

Okay, so I'm about to have a baby here - Isobella Mai - any day now. I am 38 weeks pregnant on Monday, and wanted to know if any of you guys and gals were aware of what to do about the baby's nationality.

Long story short, I came here and was married to a US citizen. That didn't work out: so this baby is a result of a domestic partnership: i.e. boyfriend/girlfriend. She's our 2nd child together - the first child, Josie, very sadly died at birth back in 2008 at full term, so this isn't a situation I've found myself in before.

Now in a nutshell, I will likely be flying to the UK to visit my family with Isobella when she's a few weeks old. Then, again for sure, this summer. So the question arises: passports, and nationality.

I've found conflicting reports on the 'net about whether or not Isobella will automatically acquire UK citizenship through me: I'm a UK citizen, permanent resident here in the states *forever* - and her father is American. If she does acquire UK citizenship, do I pop her on my passport? Can one even do that any more or will she need her own separate passport? I am assuming I need to register her birth with the British consulate?

Now, since presumably she will be a US citizen by birth, does this mean she will also need an American passport on top of a British passport/being on my passport?

I'm kinda hoping someone here has some insight and has been in this situation before... I'm finding the information online kind of confusing - hey - I'm very pregnant! Also this will all have to be arranged very quickly after the birth if I'm to have a chance of taking her across the pond to see my family in February...

Thanks in advance for any help!

Yo yo yo! Just dropping in to day hi! Almost 27 weeks pregnant and doing nicely - nice, active, bouncy babe in there

Josie's birthday/remembrance day is tomorrow - she would have been 1. We're going to get up with a hot drink and watch the dawn, because that's just about when her soul left last year. If any of you would like to join us, wherever you live, please, feel free to!

*HUGS and love* XXX (F)

Y'ello

Found out two weeks ago that this one is also a girl! All is going nicely and she's kicking a lot

Her name will be Isobella Mai....

Dean

Had an Ultrasound last week - Thursday - measured right on target with a lovely little heartbeat of 167! Yay! I'll see if I can remember how to add pictures of the little blobby bean in a while...

Feeling wonderfully morning sick which must be a good sign! Hurrah! Lots of love to all! XXXXXX

You don't need a lawyer....I was in the same shoes you are just a couple of years ago. You have a green card - you simply need to remove the conditions: no problem - you can do that by yourself. I never did have the money to get a lawyer...I still don't have $3000 lying about!

My ex used to bite me on the legs so hard he left enormous upper and lower jaw marks. He also used to spit on me, choke me and otherwise asphyxiate me, once sat on my chest to try to basically end my life, almost threw me over the top of the stairwell and that's not the half of it. He would break things of mine as a threat, verbaly abuse me or simply pretend I didn't exist, treat me unbelievably in public, wouldn't share the bed or do anything in it, ran up a many hundred dollar bill every month on internet "cam sites" instead. He'd beat up our dog, smoke weed from the moment he got up until he went to sleep, and often drink almost a full large bottle of Jaegermeister and then restrain me for fun. He refused to let me use any of the utilities that were in his name, even though I paid them, and toward the end I was sleeping in closets and on the basement floor. I know how you feel, believe me.

That's the very short, condensed version of what I put up with the whole time we were together. It got worse and worse, of course, and finally I got him on tape threatening to smash up my car and then sue me for some damage to his.

I did go to the police twice about him. The first time, I got shouted at by his mother outside the courthouse saying i had to drop all charges (long story - you can check it out in my history if you like ). Being in the abuse cycle (perpetuated to a major degree by the mother as well, I'm afraid) I did just that. The next time I went to the police was the day I left him for good.

Anyway to cut a long story short, I am here; managed to remove the conditions and get a divorce, without a lawyer. I sent in the evidence I had, including the tape recordings, to USCIS and waited a while - about ten months or so, before calling them and asking what was up. They sent a request to have my case "dug up", and lo and behold, two weeks later or so, I had a green card in hand without an interview even.

If you need any help, I have all the immigration paperwork I sent still (somewhere!) and I will help you out here. There's no reason anyone should have to live the way you're living. It's scary, you're alone and you needn't be. He's a great big fascist bully - and you need NOT worry about ay of his bull$h*t "I will have you deported" baloney. That's just something abusers pull out of their bumholes when they want to sound bigger.

*HUGE hugs* little mama - you'll be alright. Let's get you away from this fool and get him out of your life.

XXXXX

Oh no, please shoot me...not taTu!

*dies a slow and painful death from olfactory suicide*

No, not dissing, just adding myself I did file in August of '05

Dear God. My life is now completely destroyed looking at all of these incredibly awful songs. I had morning sickness before. I probably have dysentery now. Jeepers creepers...why did I look at this thread?

Hey Chrissy! Hey everyone!

I am fast approaching seven weeks and feeling wonderfully puky. Doing freelance work now s a writer and graphic designer so it fits in SO much better with my morning sickness

Anyway there we go - hope my ticker works!

*HUGE hugs* XXX

You know what my advice would be, as someone who actually did come across with the intent of visiting and then got proposed to (back in '05) and married without any pre-thoughts?

I'd just let her come down for that visit, don't think about this any more now and talk to her about it when she gets here. I wouldn't even mention anything beforehand. Just wait and think about it while she's here...much less of a gray legal area in my opinion.

Wow Dean, mango juice would so hit the spot right now...

Here I am drinking pink lemonade though and it's so hot - like 97 degrees in MN! And I am cooking spaghetti. Hmm - bad choice given the temp, methinks...

Thank you again!

Yesterday, I got the all morning nausea - hurrah! Today it hasn't gone away yet and it's 1.49pm CT now...

I think I will try getting some fruit juice. I think that might help. Something really acidic like orange juice. I had a pineapple craving last time. I wonder if it's coming back this time...hmmm...

Just as an update - the friendly Dean Churm (just a star) of the Orlando, FL embassy just emailed me telling me that magically, the Washington people are now saying my passport is due for completion this week. Hurrah! They took the wonga out of my bank account yesterday as well.

I don't kick up a fuss often, but when I do...

Thank you all so much! You're all SO awesome!!!

XXXXX

Well, I mailed two very strongly worded letters of complaint to the Embassy.

We shall see if that has any impact.

Yep, I am participating on a thread there as well. There are a bunch of us in the same boat. My mother in actually going to contact Gordon Brown about it! I love my mother!

Tickets are now booked for the 21st of June. If the passport isn't there by then, then that would be truly shameful.

Well, we are booking the bloody flights. We can't wait any longer for someone to get of their butt and do something with my application. Harry and the kids have their passports.

I am now going to spam the Embassy every single day, politely, and also contact my congressman as well.

I WILL get this passport. This is something we've been clinging to for seven months and no Embassy is going to shoot it down.

Just to share in your frustration, the British system is really not our cup of tea either...for some reason they have delayed processing in all areas. We have suffered at their hands as well so we know what you are going through. I hope you get the issue resolved soon! And I too, recommend you get your Congressman involved to make an inquiry on your behalf. Good luck!

Good idea. I wonder who my congressman is.... Isn't that awful - I get so confused as towho is in senate and who is in state and who is where...probably because I can't vote yet and have never had to contact my congressman before

J**** B****

*** *st Ave SE

***, ** *****

Consular Section

19 Observatory Circle, NW

Washington, DC 20008

14th May 2009,

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to lodge a complaint regarding the service I have received from the North America Passport Production Center.

When I submitted my application in mid April, the processing time was approximately ten working days. Shortly thereafter the processing time went up to four weeks. Recently this time has increased yet again, to six weeks.

The application I submitted, along with important documentation, is a simple passport renewal that I need very soon, to be able to book a flight home to see my family after four years away from England. Without a passport number, the flight cannot be booked. If the flight is not booked soon, we will not have the money to even go.

My American partner and children had a turnaround time on completely new passport applications of three weeks, on the dot. They have not been on a plane before – they haven’t even seen the sea. This will be my family’s first ever proper holiday, and one we have all been looking forward to for seven months. We lost our baby daughter in October of 2008 and this trip was something we had to look forward to. It now looks like our plans will be completely ruined.

When stating that one should allow sufficient time between applying for a renewal and one’s travel plans, I sincerely hoped that applying in mid April would allow time for a June departure, but I am left with serious doubts regarding that fact at this stage.

When calling Abtran, I am told simply that the passport has not been issued yet. Thereafter I was charged almost $21 for a telephone call lasting approximately five minutes – which is more than the stated and already extortionate $2.60 price per minute. When going through American Immigration proceedings as a foreign national, their helpline was free. To even talk to someone about the status of a British Passport application at the Passport Production Center, as a citizen of England, I have to have a credit card. I cannot tell you how absolutely angry that makes me.

At this stage I am left with no information as to the status of my application: if it has been rejected; accepted; whether the photographs are alright; where my documents are; whether anyone has even taken a look at it yet or anything of that nature. I have not received any acknowledgement of receipt apart from the certified mail tracking number having been listed as received. If there are any problems with my application, I presumably will not know for another, unknown amount of time.

As I mentioned before, this trip is something we have been looking forward to for seven months. If ticket prices rise any more, we will not be able to go at all. I would be very appreciative of any help you can give me in this matter. Obviously we are all very worried indeed.

My date of birth is *** **th, ****. My address is at the top of this letter, and my telephone numbers are as follows:

Home: ***-***-****

Cell: ***-***-****

I have copied the North America Passport Production center in on this letter as well.

Yours Sincerely,

J**** B****

CC: North America Passport Production Center