Ms Squitto

to remove him from the country. he didn't file to remove the conditions in time.

I am getting set to file for a divorce from my husband of 3 years. I filed for him on a K-1 Visa in 2005.

We were married and he filed for and received his conditional 2 year greencard in July of 2006. He was supposed to file to remove the conditions 90 days prior to the expiration date of July 2008. He did not. This past July (2009), I filed the I-751 for him. He left me a few days later for another woman.Several days after I submitted the paperwork, a letter came to the house from the USCIS with a notice to appear for a removal hearing on December 3, 2009. Ironically, the letter was dated the same day he left me.

I have not contacted USCIS to let them know about the pending divorce proceedings. Should I? I do not wish to assist him with staying in this country. I thought I'd entered into the marriage in good faith, but he's been cheating on me the entire time. He did a complete 180 when he came to this country. I was very naive, but I now believe he used me just to get to America.

I do not want to play the role of the scorned woman. But I also have no desire to help him thwart the immigration process and stay here unlawfully. I do not know what to do.

I'd love to hear from others that have been in this same situation. Any insight that you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you Squitto

How are you and the mister? and the baby?

Hi there, we're doing ok thanks. Could be a bit better I guess. I'm stuck in the hospital on bedrest but the little one is doing great. We found out that we're having a girl. We just gotta keep in her in there there to bake a lot longer! Thanks for asking. How are you?

Thought I'd ask you guys here what you think....

Both my S/O and myself are on another message board.

It's quite different from here, not friendly at all.

So anyway, no-one there knows that we are together, let alone married with a child, and believe me, that's a GOOD thing lol!

So there's this chick who is also dating a guy from the message board, but has been coming onto my husband for years.

She doesn't know he's married, but knows he just had a baby.

A few months ago, out of the blue she started talking to me.

Now, she's cool and everything, I don't dislike her, just pity her because she thinks she's hot and by the pics my husband showed me she sent him, she is clearly not lol...

So, she's been talking to me more and more, and it's kinda uncomfortable in the sense that sooner or later, she'll realise that I knew she was going after my husband yet and still talked her about all these issues she has, ie health issues, reltionship issues etc...

She is by no means a friend, but I just feel slightly mean in that she's going to feel really bad to know that I know her other side....

Do you think I should avoid talking to her?

Or is it her own 'karma' for pursuing someone she KNOWS is involved?

You should tell her that's your man, I would! And don't feel bad, you haven't done anything wrong.

Has anyone heard from Jonesie? Did she have the lil man yet? How about Rhonda?

Hello ladies! I hope you're all doing well. Just wanted to pass thru to wish you all Happy Holidays!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hL66mtIMgIo#

There's the link for the "infamous" video. I was so disturbed that I had to watch madwhitejamaican and paleface on YouTube after...

omg

For those that procrastinated (like I did) and need US passport, I wanted to let you know that I applied for mine regular service on Oct. 3rd and it was delivered yesterday, Oct. 18th. I could not believe how on top of things they are! Take advantage of it now while there is no backlog and apply!

Hey Jonesie....hope you and D are doing well.

Your belly must be big and round now...you gotta send me pics!!

xoxo

Wow...well I see this post is ever growing and still going strong. Almost 600 pages and this must be like the 4th installment.

I never thought it would have grown so much over the last two years when I started it. I'm glad that it has become a place for all yankee/yardie couples to meet, chat, share advice and support one another. I know I've been really bad about coming in to visit but life has totally gotten in the way. There was a time that I was so engulfed by the immigration process that I guess once it was over it was nice to take a break. But don't think for a second that you all are not in my thoughts and prayers. I have a bit of news to share, Squito and I are expecting our first child in April. I guess another one bit the dust huh, lol. I remember when Rhonda had me at the top of the baby list. We should've put some money on it because look at how many others got knocked before I did, lol. Anyway, just stopping by to check in and say hello. Hope everyone is doing well.

xo,

Mooma Squitto

WOW WOW! I am so happy for you and mister! I think about the two of you all the time come in and say hi more often!

holy moly...i just wrote to you,i'll send you a pm

You ladies talk too much!! There's almost 100 pages for me to catch up on.....

Minfey is early next year. And, I will be doing it in August of next year. Well, actually, I am #######, so I have already started researching and collecting evidence...dotting all my i's and all that.

Sorry Jomo -- I get the ####### AWARD!! We don't have to file until next April and I started collecting stuff right after we got the GC.......I already have a stack that's over 100 pages......

I was just reading this article in one of those "woman's" magazines yesterday....I will post what it is when I get home. They had a bunch of "at home" jobs you can do. It looked really interesting <<mostly computer type jobs>>

Mindy!! Long time no see...how are u sis?

It has been such a long time since I've logged in and posted here, I don't know many of you anymore.

I wanted to post and let people know that we are also "removing conditions". Actually we can officially mail our papers in Monday (90days before the expiration) and so my weekend involves nothing but the I-751. I am not worried about the actual form and evidence. I'm only worried because we moved states in February and that also meant moving service centers. We changed our address but I'm just not convinced they got it right. They sent me confirmation as the sponsor, but nothing to Henry. I called and of course they wouldn't tell me anything other than make an infopass appt. (which is in Charlotte, 2 hours away). So, needless to say, we're mailing our documents to the TSC (unfortunately) and praying that our little file isn't still sitting in VT or Boston.

I will try to be around more if anyone has questions and I'll keep my signature updated.

Rhonda, let me know how yours goes...

Have a wonderful weekend.

Hey, it's great to hear from you. I was just thinking of you and Henry the other day. How's life in NC?

Wow...well I see this post is ever growing and still going strong. Almost 600 pages and this must be like the 4th installment.

I never thought it would have grown so much over the last two years when I started it. I'm glad that it has become a place for all yankee/yardie couples to meet, chat, share advice and support one another. I know I've been really bad about coming in to visit but life has totally gotten in the way. There was a time that I was so engulfed by the immigration process that I guess once it was over it was nice to take a break. But don't think for a second that you all are not in my thoughts and prayers. I have a bit of news to share, Squito and I are expecting our first child in April. I guess another one bit the dust huh, lol. I remember when Rhonda had me at the top of the baby list. We should've put some money on it because look at how many others got knocked before I did, lol. Anyway, just stopping by to check in and say hello. Hope everyone is doing well.

xo,

Mooma Squitto

hi there...it's been a long time. just dropped by to let you all know that our yahoo group's photos will not be affected by the closing of "Yahoo Pictures". I saw the following message on the groups site: Yahoo! Groups photos will NOT be affected by the closure of Yahoo! Photos on September 20th. Yahoo! Groups photos will continue to work as they do today.

hope you're all doing well

Happy Friday everyone! I hope all is well

Welcome Dwain!!

I GOT APPROVED ON MY BIRTHDAY!

I just got the email now! OMG! Thank God and thank ALL of you! I had to call Marlon and he is super stoked too!!!!!!

Ummmm, what now? lol

congrats!!!

I have a minor rant...just when I thought we were completely done with visa #######...I found out that my husband needs another. We were planning on spending 3 weeks trekking across Europe at the end of the summer. We were going to start in London - come to find out, he needs a visa to enter the UK. Not only that, but it costs $132. I haven't looked into the other countries that we wanted to visit, but i'm sure we'll have to apply for a separate visa for each country. That will significantly add to the cost of what is already an expensive tour.

Dammit, I feel like this damn immigration business is a burden that I'd rather not deal with. AARRRRRGH!!!

~rant over~

Sorry to hear

Once he's eligible for citizenship have him file ASAP, that way no extra charges...

Depending on which countries in Europe you are going to, you can apply for a Schengen visa, that covers 15 of the 25 all for one price rather than having to apply seperately....Here's a link

http://www.eurovisa.info/BackgroundInfo.htm

this is great, thanks so much!!

hey guess what e-mail i got today...

Application Type: I765 , APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT AUTHORIZATION

Current Status: Card production ordered.

On May 22, 2007, we ordered production of your new card. Please allow 30 days

for your card to be mailed to you.

Congrats!!

I have a minor rant...just when I thought we were completely done with visa #######...I found out that my husband needs another. We were planning on spending 3 weeks trekking across Europe at the end of the summer. We were going to start in London - come to find out, he needs a visa to enter the UK. Not only that, but it costs $132. I haven't looked into the other countries that we wanted to visit, but i'm sure we'll have to apply for a separate visa for each country. That will significantly add to the cost of what is already an expensive tour.

Dammit, I feel like this damn immigration business is a burden that I'd rather not deal with. AARRRRRGH!!!

~rant over~

I am soooo happy!!!! I just got off the phone w/IRS and they FINALLY processed Javon's ITIN application. I had to three-way him in for them to give us the #, now I can file my state tax returns. I couldn't have asked for a better time since funds were getting tight w/me moving and all.

I am soooo happy!!!! I just got off the phone w/IRS and they FINALLY processed Javon's ITIN application. I had to three-way him in for them to give us the #, now I can file my state tax returns. I couldn't have asked for a better time since funds were getting tight w/me moving and all.

that's awesome...congrats!!!

American Idol finale is tonight. I got my money on Jordin

That's hot!! Well good luck and I hope you have an easy pregnancy

Alright Paris

So Squitto how is the Mr. doing?

that chick stole my phrase...I'd been using it long before she popularized it, lol

He's okay...having a hard time on the job front. It's really frustrating for him. But otherwise he's doing well. Thanks for asking

Wha gwaaan babes...mi deyah a tek a hard life easy. You and I need to catch up for real

Coo pon dis Wh'appen Ten!

Gal yuh noh dead yet? Mek we tek hard life easy fe true! Thanks for the support! Life is hard but God is good

(Typing patois is harding than speaking it Hope that made sense)

How is everyone doing? Stopping in to say hi and show some luv

Today my grandma who is 86 fell and broke her arm and smashed her head while trying to get breakfast She has a few stitches and will be in a cast for 6+ weeks. It's so hard when they get older and their health decreases. All she wants to do is play bingo and reminisce with her old friends...why does life have to be so hard sometimes?

Nah mi girl, mi nuh dead off yet Your patois makes perfect sense...you're an honorable yardie, you know that!

I'm sorry to hear about your grandma...I hope she gets better soon.

Nope, not preggo...not yet at least. I'm so excited for you! When are you due??

I'm due December 16 Jonesie's due December 15. We'll see how accurate the doctors really are!!

That's hot!! Well good luck and I hope you have an easy pregnancy

Squitto, you need to stick around for sure! No one speaks patois on here anymore when you're not here

mi will try pass thru likkle more....di people dem wuk a tek up all a mi time

Hey Ten good to see you around.

Hey girlie!! Congrats on your approval

Wanted to come in real quick and make sure that unnu fling di AKs dem ova di wall

Anna - I meant to post this when I saw it but CONGRATS on finally getting approved

Whagwaan Squito!!

Wha gwaaan babes...mi deyah a tek a hard life easy. You and I need to catch up for real

He hasn't gotten his GC yet????

No. In FBI name check.

OMG...sorry to hear that. Hopefully he'll get it soon.

Oh yeah, one more thing. I've received numerous PM's for access to the Yardie Yahoo Group.

I believe I've invited everyone who wanted to join but if I missed you, please pm me your email address and I will invite you.

Jaime I read your story and my heart goes out to you. I am a christian myself and a born Jamaican. Sad to say I have dated non-christian and christian guys earlier in my life. The non-christians treated me better by far most times and respected me not wanting to have sex before marriage more than the christians. This really help me to know that not everyone who says Lord Lord is a real christian. No human being deserve what u r going tru, but my sister God will take care of you. My mom always say it is good, better, then best. You are at good now so it will get better and even best.. I will say a prayer for you. I am currently married to a great JA man and he treats me like a queen. So we know that not all of dem are like that but some are really"DOGS". Hang in there my sister........

All the best.

Morning everyone...

I have shared my complete story with a couple of people and some have encouraged me to share on the Yardie thread…I haven’t had the courage to do so before now but I can see that it might be helpful and felt that now is the right time. Also I have been getting a lot of questions via PM about my life and the move and just wanted to answer them all at one time...So this is my story and even if it is useful to ONE person than it is worth it.

Please note that this is a PERSONAL account and this is what is happening to ME….I am telling MY story and nothing more…

I went to JA as a missionary. I never stayed in the resorts or did the tourist thing. I stayed in a house with other missionaries the first 2 trips and the rest of the time I stayed in house with a JA pastor, his wife and numerous children. I have always stayed in a little town where I was the only white girl for many miles. I have stayed places without indoor plumbing, taken the showers under the small stream of icy water, used outhouses, gone without electricity, caught water on the roof in big containers to use for bathing and cooking (after boiling it of course), I walked everywhere I went or took taxi’s, hardly ever rented a car, stayed with Andre’s family only on the last trip all the others we lived apart, I have held down a job in JA and gone to work daily, I stayed for months not weeks or days and I can speak fluent patois. I went grocery shopping at the linstead market and cooked for the whole family at times. I had enormous responsibility and at one point I was in charge of getting a little girl (3) up and bathed…doing her hair, pressing her uniform, getting her dressed and walking her to school. I immersed myself in the way of life down there and was very much apart of everything. I knew the culture as well as anyone not born there could. I became so immersed into the community that I was the “browning”. I was treated like a local and I lived like a local. I became a part of a family and a church family. I was no longer thought of as the american in JA but as the yardie who just happens to have come from the US.

I was on my 3rd trip when I met Andre through some of my good friends. We just hung out in groups a couple of times but that was all. On the 5th trip we “officially” started dating and I went to visit 3-4 times again after that staying for MONTHS at a time. We talked on the phone for hours and did the whole LDR thing. We officially started dating on Dec. 27, 2001…engaged May 2004…visa petition March 2005…married Sept 27, 2005. So we knew each other for well over 5 years and had been dating for 4 years probably a good year and a half of me actually being there in JA. We knew each other. I thought we knew each other as much as anyone who could know each other did. We had our ups and downs as any normal relationship would have but I honestly thought that we would be together forever.

He came here and we got married a week later. Things went downhill pretty darn fast to be honest. By Christmas 2005 we were having full blown fights and he had packed his bags a dozen times (sometimes I packed for him) We fought over everything. I tried my hardest to put myself in his shoes. He started lying to me about everything, driving without a license, drinking heavily, into porn, drinking and driving (while heavily intoxicated), being gone for long hours without any notice or phone calls. He started “stealing” money even though we each agreed to give ourselves monthly “allowances” which we could each spend on whatever we wanted (trust me this “allowance” was a good amount of money). You have to realize that this is coming from the man that was a strong Christian and was even the pastor/official of the Wednesday night services at the church we attended together in JA. He had been a Christian for almost 8 years when we got married. So where did the guy I used to know go? He didn’t want to learn how to do anything the american way. I took care of all the financial stuff, all the bills and he didn’t even care to learn about it. He didn’t want to learn how to pay bills, balance a checkbook, taxes, insurance, work stuff etc…I wasn’t expecting him to do it all by himself but I just wanted him to learn how to do it so he could be of help to me and understand how to survive. Once he started working he became too tired to do anything else…unless of course it was something he wanted to do. He couldn’t come home in the evenings or stay home on the weekends and eat meals with me or go for a walk with the dog, couldn’t go to the movies or even sit and watch them with me, couldn’t go grocery shopping, couldn’t go to the movies, couldn’t go our to clubs, couldn’t go to church, couldn’t go out with our couple friends, couldn’t do anything with me because he was always “too tired” but the minute one of his buddies called him up he was out the door for hours…even after telling me 20 mins before that he was too tired to eat dinner with me or do anything else yet I would watch him walk out the door 20 mins later to be gone for hours.

Basically I chalk it up to what I like to call Married Bachelor syndrome with a touch of “kid in the candy shop”. He wanted the perks of marriage…sex, someone to clean and cook, take on all responsibility of a household, someone to work and pay bills, and be there on his terms but wanted the freedom of being a bachelor…no responsibility, partying all the time, getting plastered, going out til all hours of the night doing God knows what. He would go out and never once did it cross his mind to call me. I once came home and got the message that he would be home at 10pm…he had left at 1pm… well I waited and waited with no phone calls or anything…didn’t even have a clue where he had gone… and he finally rolls in at 2:30am wasted. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with it and I should have just gone to sleep and “not worried about a thing. He is a grown man and can take care of himself”…this happens a lot. I eventually found out that he had been borrowing money from a friend to spend on whatever and also to send to JA for his family so now Andre owes his friends tons…not my responsibility. Well one night we got into an argument and Andre had been drinking...He kept threatening me that I should “just wait and see what will happen to me” he kept saying it over and over “you just wait and see”. Well I am not one to be threatened so I got right into it and told him to “show me now…why wait?” He ended up pushing me a couple of times that night and grabbing my hand really hard and throwing me and my arm into the wall. He also raised his hand and told me that if I didn’t stop talking I “would get it”. I told him we would either go to counseling or I was leaving…that was Sept of last year (2006). We went to counseling a few times but then Andre was “too tired” to go anymore and stopped. Andre thinks that if I would just be a better wife THEN he could be a good husband. He blames everything and every action he does on me. While in counseling he admitted that he is lazy about some things (like doing things with me, talking to me, spending time doing things I like to do) and he admitted that marriage is nothing like he expected and it is a lot harder than he wanted. He is not willing (at least at this point) to change anything. We basically live separate lives now and he is totally ok with that. He disappears all the time and he has never called me to tell me that he will be late or that he is not coming home…I am just left to wonder.

I will be moving out the end of this month to my own apartment. He is incredibly ok with this and feels like with a separation it will “give him time to work on things”…more like it will make him feel less guilty of being a crappy person and treating me bad. I can’t live with someone who is verbally abusive (calls me all sorts of nasty things, threatens me), drinks too much, into porn (more than just the average), goes out at all times of the night and all days of the week…misses work because he is too hungover or leaves work in the middle of the day because “he just doesn’t want to be there anymore”. He makes no effort to talk to me or even do anything with me. I spent the last couple months trying to be selfless and make every effort to do things with him, give him his space, let him get it out of his system only to be shot down and repeatedly disappointed. He just doesn’t want to be with me or do things with me…yet he doesn’t want to be without me because its “free” sex, housework and money. Trust me there is only so much a girl can take. All of these traits are new and I didn’t see anything like this while I was in JA…there was minimal drinking, no porn, church every Sunday, church activities during the week, we ate every dinner together, spent every night we could doing stuff together or in groups. I believe that he came here and now wants to live the “american bachelor dream” He is acting just like a college student who just moved away from their parents. He even admits that…but doesn’t see it as being a problem.

So we have agreed to separate and if he gets his act together then hopefully we can resume counseling together ( I go alone right now) but if not then we will be divorcing. It isn’t something that I want…not at all…but right now he doesn’t want to be a husband…and I can’t wait forever for him to choose me and our marriage over everything else. I don’t see why he will make the effort when we are living separate when he can’t make the effort when we are living together…it will only be more work to drive over and see me or call me on the phone. He can’t bother to do things with me or talk with me now…why is he going to do it now that there will be more work involved (driving to see me, arranging things over the phone). So I am not getting my hopes up but I am keeping hope alive as much as possible.

That is just a glance into our lives…there is SOOOOO much more but I didn’t want to type it all. Hope that made some sort of sense.

I TOTALLY understand that not every guy or every JA guy is like this…Trust me I do. I am just telling you my personal experience. Any of the vets can tell you that I never saw this coming and that I honestly thought we had the greatest relationship…I even avoided the “usual” pitfalls (quick engagement, resort romance etc). Again I am just telling you all this so you see a side of the story that most don’t come back to tell. I don’t think it will happen to everyone…not at all…but it can happen and it does…it happened to me. Please save any negative or b!tchy comments to yourselves…No one needs them…especially me. Also if you have any questions or anything I am very open and willing to share.

Much Love my Yardie family,

Jamie

Jamie,

I didn't read back far enough two days ago to see this. But I just read your testimony and believe me when I say that my heart goes out to you. Squito and I have had our differences too so I completely understand the way that you feel. I'm so sorry that things have gotten so bad. I hope that through prayer, counseling, soul-searching, selflessness, courage, compassion and a strong desire to keep your marriage together will get you and Andre through this. I would love to talk to you offline and I will pm you my phone number. Please keep your head up love. I wish you all the best.

Damien and I are preparing for our Aruba trip next weekend to visit his mother.....they haven't seen each other in almost 4 years. Damien is very excited. I'm excited for him but I'm a little nervous because this will be my first time meeting her. She used to be extremely rude to me over the phone. Damien had a talk with her and she's gotten better but there's still tension in her voice. I try kill her with kindness but trust me, it's hard. Damien thinks it's just because she doesn't know me. This is going to be an interesting trip.

But anyway, should I be nice enough to take her gifts? If so, what kind of gift? Or leave it up to Damien?

Hi there...sorry to hear that his mother hasn't been the nicest to you. Kill her with kindness in person and see how she reacts. I say give it a try but if she doesn't come around don't force yourself on her. She should just be glad that her husband has found a good woman - if that isn't enough for her, then oh well. Enjoy your trip and don't let anybody's negativity bring you down. You should bring her a nice gift - maybe some curtains or something homely, lol

OMG - I've been gone for way too long!!! Rhonda's pregnant

and to think....all those times you put ME at the top of the list

Congrats!!!

Yes woman, you have been gone waaaaay too long Since you weren't getting knocked up any time soon, one of us had to do it Unless you're preggo too?!!

Ditto!! whagwaan(sp) How's it going? Are you guys settled in your new home?

Hey D. Wha gwaan mi girl? We haven't moved yet. We're shooting for the end of the summer. There have been so many postponements of our move - hopefully it'll happen this time!

I have not a clue, I'm still hopeing for a green card ...sounds good tho.

He hasn't gotten his GC yet????