musicmaniac42

Thank you all, particularly VanessaTony, for your very helpful responses. I'm glad to know with more certainty that my spouse will be just fine taking care of herself, and that she can't guilt me into being her "only option" for staying in the country. Furthermore, I hadn't thought of the repercussions of another year of "marriage" (401k, insurance, social security, etc)

As tough as it may be, I guess it's true that life never goes as planned, but I'm glad to know there are helpful people along the way! She and I will be having a discussion that she won't like, but it seems will be the best for both of us in the long-term. Again, thank you all for your help.

Here's the situation: I am American living in the Midwest and was married to my European wife through a K-1 visa. The marriage, to put it simply, was a total disaster and the most painful thing I've ever experienced. Among the many reasons to end it, I definitely should have known to leave when she pulled a knife on me (because I chose to abstain from participating in an irrational screaming argument with her). It's tough to sleep in peace when you had to disarm her only minutes before.

We were married in May 2012, filed for AOS successfully last summer, and she received a conditional green card along with her working permit last August (2012).

We were separated in May 2013, and she has shown no desire for apology/reconciliation. As much as I love her still (inexplicably), I feel the urgent need to seek closure so I can heal and move on. I have filed for divorce, and all that remains is for her to sign the papers.

Now she has told me that she would rather not divorce (on paper). She wants to move to California, and for me to hold off on the divorce until AFTER she can obtain her 10-year green card. She has said, "It's only a piece of paper, it doesn't matter." In short, she wants to remain married on paper so she can renew her green card in 2014 and so she can continue to be on my health insurance.

I have felt conflicted about this, because I don't want to make her life more difficult. At the same time, I feel like it would be absolutely wrong to be separated, living separate lives, and pretending to be married "in good faith" when the time comes for her green card renewal. Would her suggestion constitute immigration fraud? Is there even a tiny chance of me being fined, jailed, or legally punished? It just feels so terrible and dishonest.

My (soon to be ex-)wife's concern is that 1) she will be deported when her 2 years are over, and 2) she will have to find her own health insurance. My thoughts are 1) she can file a waiver after the divorce so she can remain in the US, and 2) she can find and pay for her own insurance if she puts in the effort--she's young and in excellent health.

I had a friend ask, "Well, who would find out if you just stay 'married'?" My answer was that I would always know, and the risks aren't worth it. Plus, I'm ready to be done with this individual who has proven that she never loved me as I loved her.

If anyone has any advice (and, please, not just "Well, I think it'd be..."), I would appreciate your honest input.

Thank you all very much for your suggestions! We will try the InfoPass appointment, and give them everything we can, including reasons to possible objections they might have. We know we're basically at their mercy, and it's miserable to feel so powerless, but we know we're not the only ones who have experienced this.

One point for clarification: let's imagine we go to the InfoPass appointment, we speak to the representative at the window, and we are able to convince them that we are deserving of the AP approval. Would the agent have the authority to grant us the AP on the spot? I understand we would have to wait for the actual physical paper to process, but does the agent have the power to give us approval? If they tell us, "Yes, your case is exceptional and tragic and we'd love to help, but we can't authorize anything for you," would they just be feeding us a "please, go away!" line?

Thanks again to you canadian wife, amykathleen, gosia/tito, and gegel for your advice!

Hello, all,

I'll share our situation, and I'll try to include all the detail I can. I'd appreciate suggestions or ideas.

My wife came to the US from France in April on a K-1 visa, and we were married in May. We filed for AOS in early June, including work authorization and an I-131 permission to travel. We got our NOA on all three of those petitions on June 8. She had her biometrics appointment with USCIS yesterday, and everything went smoothly. But here are the complications...

My wife has to return to France for her only sister's wedding, which will be on July 27. Between our wedding and her sister's wedding, we knew there would be a fairly small window of time. We had no idea until after we filed the EAD/AOS/AP that it would take the government at least 3 months to make a decision regarding the AP. You can say we were stupid, naive, and should've filed earlier, I've seen that a lot on the forums. But we filed as soon as we got married, and her sister's wedding was already in the works. There is no way we could have given ourselves more time, short of ordering her sister not to get married until we (or, the US Government) deemed it appropriate. Here's a sequence of events...

1) My wife was chosen as a witness at the wedding, meaning her presence is required at the ceremony to make the marriage official in France. Since we were unable to wait until September for the advance parole, we called USCIS to expedite our case. The agent I called took our information over the phone and submitted our expedite request.

2) Later that day, we received documentation from France proving that the marriage is taking place and my wife's role in it. The letter is from the mayor of the town where the wedding will take place. In short, the letter affirms that the wedding is happening on July 27th, and that my wife is obligated to be present in order to legalize/validate her sister's marriage.

3) At the biometrics appointment, we spoke with the agent at the USCIS office window and told them our situation, and we tried to submit the letter, our added proof for our case. When the expedite request was made via telephone, they didn't take any other information from us besides, "It's extremely important that she be present at the wedding." The USCIS officer told us to fax the documents along with an explanatory letter to the National Service Center, which we did yesterday evening.

4) I received an email this morning stating our request for an expedited AP had been denied because we didn't submit any evidence to establish any urgency or emergency.

5) I called USCIS after receiving the email to find out if our proof had even been considered. When I explained our proof of urgency to them (the mayor's letter), the agent on the phone seemed convinced, and told me to mail all our documents (NOA for I-131, letter from the mayor (with translated version), flight/travel documents, and a letter explaining the situation) to the Benefits Center in Missouri. I mailed all that as soon as I was off the phone, and the envelope should arrive there by Friday.

We have plane tickets to leave for France on July 18, and she is extremely worried about being prevented from going. If needed, she doesn't mind losing her plane ticket and buying a new one (she can leave for France as late as July 25). Also, we don't mind if there's a separation for us for some months following the travel... it would be worth it. However, the possibility of being shut out of the US for a year is inconceivable, considering the further delay it would put on her career and immigration aspirations.

On the one side, her family is putting on the pressure to go, and she can't imagine missing the wedding and disappointing quite literally everyone in her family. As she has said, if she can't go, then the wedding won't be validated. All the money spent so far would be wasted, and the hundreds of guests would need to be notified (including the other international guests who have already bought their tickets). If this were merely a question of, "We just really really want to go! France is so beautiful this time of year!" then I wouldn't expect any sort of special treatment. However, as we've demonstrated, it is vital to the marriage that she attend the wedding, as a legal duty to her sister.

Therefore, here's my question: are there any possible options if this most recent expedite request is denied? Is USCIS really so inhuman and without compassion as to tear apart a legal union and a family for no other reason than not being able to wait 3 months? If she is denied, can we appeal directly to our Indianapolis USCIS office? Or would we need to go to the Chicago USCIS office? Or any other office? Who actually has the authority to listen to our case and grant the confounded piece of paper? We've become quite desperate and haven't ruled out anything, including calling every legislator we can find, beginning a petition group, or even going to the USCIS office and hunger striking. Attending the wedding is that important to us. This whole situation (not to mention all the headaches from getting the K-1) has already put on so much stress, difficulty, and pain that we're looking for any possibilities.

As a side question, does anyone know why USCIS is so strict about leaving the country in the first place? My wife will not be going to any terrorist summer camps, and she won't be meeting with any revolutionary neo-Nazi leaders. Are they concerned about people getting benefits of residence but living abroad?

Any help or suggestions would be appreciated, thanks for reading the long explanation.

Your french fiancee can also call if she's less busy. I did it several times through Skype and with just adding +1 to the phone number. At first I was not too comfortable and worried not to understand well but asking for an update about my case and give my case number was pretty easy to do.

Well, I should have just been a little more patient! Packet 3 arrived this morning when we happened to be Skyping already. Got it done together, sent it back, and now awaiting packet 4! Merci encore et j'espere que tout se passe bien chez vous aussi.

Thank you so much for the response! I've become so accustomed to waiting weeks for answers, I was pleasantly shocked to have information so fast! I will be calling the DoS as soon as my work schedule allows (hopefully tomorrow). Also, I'm really glad to meet you, Lisa/Pierre, and I'll let you know as soon as Clara receives anything. It's helpful to know that there are others in the same situation as us. It's like you said... here's hoping for tomorrow!

I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right spot, but here's my question...

I'm applying for a K-1 visa for my fiancee, who is French. After the long I-129F wait, I received our NOA2 in early February from the California Service Center, and when I called the NVC around Valentine's Day, they told me that our case had been approved by the NVC and sent to the Paris Embassy that morning, and the NVC gave me our case number.

Now, nearly a month has passed and we have had zero contact from the Embassy. No packet 3, not even acknowledgement of receiving our case. I have tried faxing, calling, and e-mailing, with no luck or response. I think my next option is "carrier pigeon." Is it normal to have a one-month wait between the NVC forwarding and receiving packet 3? This seems much longer than the processing times that I have seen, and I am beginning to worry that perhaps there is a problem. The most frustrating part is having gathered the necessary information for our I-134 in advance, and I'm also somewhat concerned that the information will be outdated before long.

Also perhaps relevant: my only way of calling the Embassy is via Skype. It seems Skype will not permit me to call the 14.50 euro operator, so I have been trying to call through the immigrant visa office and any other number I can find.

Do you have any recommendations or thoughts? Or am I just too anxious and need to wait it out?