mary&tom
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Posts posted by mary&tom
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Last summer, we were playing water volleyball out on Cape Cod and one of the people in our party lost both her engagement ring and wedding ring in the water. Hours later someone came along with a metal detector and managed to find them for her.
You might want to try to get a hold of one or someone who has one. Hope this idea helps you and good luck.
We had a similar experience with my nephew. His ring flew off when he was playing with our dog out on a nature trail. We searched and searched and found nothing. Too much tall grass and weeds. The next day we went back with a metal detector. In fact the guy who owned the metal detector went with us. Found the ring! This happened to be a very high quality detector and of course the owner was experienced in using it.
When my nephew got the ring back he had it resized so that it would no longer be too loose.
Even if it does snow you can try with the metal detector after it melts.
mary
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I don't see why it would not help if he is able to get a conviction removed... maybe it's something similar to our case. Maybe he is innocent and trying to get the record set straight.
I would like to know more about this. I keep hoping there is some way to overturn the conviction on tom's record as he was innocent to begin with. At the very least I would like to find out how to get the court to come forward and clarify that he agreed to plead guilty to a much lesser charge than what turned up on his police report. He never even realized until he got the police report, what he had agreed to. He only knew the circumstances of the incident itself and that the actual guilty party refused to take responsibility. It would definitely help us if this could be clarified because as things stand now we cannot even visit the USA. I have family and friends I will never see again because of this.
I would like to know about this exceptional case advisor.
mary
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My husbands K3 interview is on 2nd May. He has just received his police certificate.
It lists the following:
1 conviction for theft
4 cautions for theft
1 caution for fraud (evading a fare on the tube or train)
1 caution for drunk and disorderly.
All of these are more than 5 years old.
If we get the court transcripts for the conviction, is there a chance he will not need a waiver? Or will he difinitly need a waiver?
Any info would be helpful!!!
I am also posting this in the waiver forum.
Thank you!!!!
I don't know how cautions are regarded. I certainly hope that it's only the one conviction that will be considered. In any case you do need the court record for the conviction. The USA does not recognize the UK's Rehabilitation of Offenders Act so the fact that these are more than 5 years old is irrelevant.
mary
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bump.
Still waiting since December 8, 2006.
Is dwar still around? I too will be monitoring the London waiver list daily and posting my findings so this thread doesnt vanish into the archives. Hang in there Angela....it will come.
The last I saw from Dwar was this :
http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...st&p=737598
I lurk from time to time but have not been able to participate. I feel like we were let down by this process and as a result life is so much more difficult in ways that I never even considered when I wrote my hardship letter (which in the end they did not even consider anyway after I had poured my heart into it).
I did become emotionally invested in many of the people here so I am happy when I see the approvals and am disheartened when I see the denials. Mostly though I am still angry that we were denied when Tom was never even guilty in the first place.
I will say one thing to those who have not submitted their petitions yet. Be sure to get all the character references that you can. We could have but did not because the people at the London embassy said it was not necessary. They really led us to believe we would be approved as long as we did the paperwork, paid the fee, and waited. We could have submitted loads of proof that Tom is trustworthy and of good character. We also should have gone in to more detail about the incident itself. We had for the interview so we didn't think we needed to repeat all of that but apparently we should have.
mary
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What hardships did you use when the language is the same....i am from England and my husband is a USC. We have to file an I-601 because of an overstay and we are trying to see if there is anyone who has filed with a UK citizen and what things they said about England so that they never had to leave. FYI..we are both in Chicago right now, we are doing an in-country I-601!
Well... having actually made the move to England I am discovering first hand that the hardships are real. Of course it depends of what part of England you would be going to but for us, in the London area, our standard of living is far below what it could be in the states. My husband would be paid a higher wage in the states for what he does, while housing, food, almost everything really is so much cheaper in the states. Your USC citizen husband will have to give up his job in the USA and try to find one in England. He will most likely be leaving family behind.
Of course you would be doing the same if you go stay there in the USA but its the hardships to the USA citizen that are being considered in this situation. Just simple things like having to change doctors, getting used to new ways of doing things... for instance banking and morgages seem to be handled totally differently here in the UK. Speaking of banking, the exchange rate does not favor the dollar right now. If your husband has assetts to cash in and move to the UK he will take a huge financial hit now. I just had to move most of my money from the USA to the UK so we can buy a house and I lost thousands of dollars compared to if I could have moved it several months ago. The delays in our immigration process leading ultimately to our denial ended up costing us so much money in that respect.
There is more culture shock than you might expect ... little things that you are used to suddenly are different. Something as simple as not being able to find a decent dill pickle here in the Uk can be aggravating! Not sure I would put that in the hardship letter though but perhaps there would be a way to put across the fact that the little differences can mount up and cause one to feel a bit out of sorts sometimes. I can't even buy a cotton sweatshirt here! All the fleeces are synthetic materials.
You can even turn around things that might otherwise be considered an advantage. For example the UKhealth care system. Its good that so much of it is free but not being allowed to choose your own doctor is a hardship for an American. Maybe having to wait for certain types of care would be another hardship. I am in the process of sorting all of that out at the moment and its horrible. Dental care is another problem in the Uk. We were very lucky and did find an NHS dentist but many are not so lucky. I believe there is a shortage of dentists here.
Also, there can still be a bit of a language barrier even though both countries speak "English." Some terms are confusing and a person such as myself who has a difficult time with accents often has problems understanding what is being said.
Transportation is another issue. Some Americans will find it too difficult to attempt to drive in the UK particularly in areas with alot of traffic. I, for example, will most likely never drive again and because of that I will have lost a certain amount of independence that I am used to.
You just have to picture living in the UK and consider all the implications.
mary
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It's an idea I suppose but sometimes things like that can backfire on you and I would not wish to push my luck so to speak. Apart from which I did not get the name of our interviewer
Just have to wait it out but thanks for your suggestion it was good of you
I agree... wait it out. It still haunts me that my email asking them for a decision (we needed to make plans or so we thought) might have triggered the denial we received a few days later. Perhaps the ones who were meant to be in the loop ended up not being the ones to process it. Our interviewer had been on the phone with them the day of our interview and the embassy folks did recommend we be approved... .they seemed certain we would be. The way our denial was written, the person obviously did not understand what had happened on the day of the interview.
... and speaking of Christmas... we will never ever spend one with the grandchildren now. The holiday season is difficult for me. I desperately missed Thanksgiving. Of course it would have helped if Tom had not had to work 16 hours that day.
mary
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I got it as a PM twice. I then blocked this "user" from sending me PMs.
mary
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We used Tom's debit card for his UK bank account. His bank charges a 2% conversion fee but I am not sure if it was applied in this case.
mary
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Hello everyone. Anita (Melo) wanted me to send her love to everyone here and tell you that she will be on her way to the USA tomorrow. She has a direct flight from Gatwick to Houston.
She has spent almost three weeks in the UK with family and friends. We were supposed to try to get together but Tom and I had the flu for about a week and I was unable to go into London on the day she was going in. I had hoped to invite her to the house here at some point but didn't want to expose her to our germs when she has such a big journey ahead of her. Anyway, I just got off the phone with her. She will be back online soon. We do plan to meet one day. She will surely return to the UK for a visit.
Big update from us as well... five days after we got married our landlord told us he wants to sell this house. At first we were panicking, wondering what to do but he gave us first chance at buying this house and we have decided to go for it. Applied for a morgage yesterday... we will see what happens. We do like the house and it would be great to not have to uproot once again. There are things we would love to do to it if it were to belong to us. We only moved here (Gravesend) from Brixon in late March and then I had to spend from mid May until the end of August in the USA. I feel like I never want to move ever again. I think Tom hates moving even more than I do. He stayed in that tiny Brixton flat for years after he outgrew it just because he didnt want to bother moving.
I am really suffering from "sticker shock" regarding house prices here. The money from the sale of my house in Michigan is only a down payment on a house here! And that house was morgage free... was paid off several years ago.
Mary
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There was one not too long ago that was denied and it was so sad, all I meant was if it is not showing on the police record then surely there is nothing to worry about, if it is showing then I am sure it will mean a waiver
oh, dear God...was the waiver for something similar to our problem??? we have been told that the USA doesn't recognise the expunging of criminal records so we are almost obliged to tell them whether or not it appears on his record; apparently it would be much worse if we fail to mention it...
anna
That would be us. We didn't know if it would be on the police report or not as it happened 9 years ago and he only received a £100 fine. Well it was on the report and to our horror it was not listed as possession... it was listed as "exporting" because he was in a car in Swansea waiting for the ferry to Ireland. Nevermind that it was not even his stuff... it belonged to the car owner. He allowed the court lawyer to intimidate him into pleading guilty and now we have paid for that in a big way. The folks at the London embassy were sympathetic to our situation and decided the case should be treated as personal possession. They let us file the waiver and recommended highly that it be granted. Anyone who meets Tom can see the sort of man he is. I think our biggest mistake was not including character references. We were led to believe that filing the waiver was basically a formality and it would be approved as long as we filled out the paperwork and wrote our letters.
One of the embassy workers even called us a few days after our denial wanting Tom to do some electrical work for her. She was surprised and sorry to hear we had been denied. So... an embassy worker was willing to allow Tom to enter her home but DHS deemed him unacceptable to enter the US. I expect I will always be bitter about that. We will make a life here and we will be happy with each other. But I will never forgive DHS for forcing me to leave my children, my grandchildren, all my friends... everything I have ever known for all my life.
I am suffering from culture shock at the moment... there are more differences than one might think between the USA and the UK...particularly since we are in the London area (Gravesend) and I was always a small town girl. I am also very lonely... I have no idea how to make friends here... people are nice and they are friendly but who do I go to lunch with? Who do I have over for tea? Tom has worked long hours since my arrival because problems with NHS changes have left them short handed. He works for Guys hospital. He is working 7 days in a row this week... 96 hours total plus two hours commute each day... that doesnt leave much. I am very lonely. I don't get bored.. there are always things to do.. things that I am interested in, but I miss him and I have no one else to do things with.
Mary
p.s. what Baily said is correct... a one time offence of simple possession under 30 grams is waiverable. Our case should have been treated as such as that is what he pled guilty to but unfortunately no official record was ever made of that fact by the court. The embassy official advised him to express remorse in his letter but that was a bit difficult as he didnt actually do the crime so what he expressed remorse about was the fact that he had entered the USA three times on the visa waiver program (not knowing he shouldnt .. not knowing that the Rehabilitation of Offenders act did not apply). I guess he should have expressed remorse over his choice of friends.. the guy who was stupid enough to have something in the car (for personal use) when approaching customs! Sometimes I wonder if the personal description on the police report hurt us... at the time he had a pony tail and earrings... I wonder if that image stereotyped him. At the time he was playing in a band part time although his profession was still electrician.
I wonder how you prove hardship when you are already living in the UK. You can't exactly say that moving here would be impossible. Maybe you would have to outline what hardships you are experiencing because of being here? And of course you can prove it would be extreme hardship for you to go back to the states without your husband.
I am hoping that one day we can at least get some kind of waiver allowing us to visit the states. As it stands at the moment, Tom can never enter the USA again... which effectively means I will never see "home" again. Flying is so traumatic... I will never do it again alone. I feel lucky to have gotten here in one piece.
well that was a long PS! LOL
guess I might as well include the link to a very long post that I once made that tells the story of what happened that day in Swansea more in detail... for anyone that wants to know more...
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Finally! What a relief!
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I keep watching... and hoping for the best for you.... I thought maybe mail would arrive on Saturday. I certainly hope you get good news today!
mary
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Sharky
Yes Kefalonia was awesome and beautiful! We stayed in Lassi but went to Argostoli quite often and had a car one day and went to Sami, Myrtos Beach, Assos and up to Fiskardo. The whole island was just gorgeous. We loved Sami the most though! The beach there was just amazing with all the fish and clear water...we took the snorkels and have beautiful pics with the underwater camera.....
Mary,
I just used my passport with my maiden name on it.....We set up a appointment with the Home Office and had a short interview with them and then came back about a hour later and picked up our passport with my new visa in it. It is valid for 2 years. It cost £500 though. It was good till November but we figured the sooner the better then I could start working!!! That is one expensive passport now! I actually had a job offer before I got the new visa so it worked out perfectly....cause I was able to start work the next day. I do take my passport and marriage certificate with me if I go anywhere where they need to see my name....bank, etc. The bad thing is the passport is good for another 8.5 years....so oh well! BTW it was cheaper to send everything in but it said it could take anywhere from 4-14 weeks so we just decided to go in person...it was I think £380 to mail it in.
Anyway talk to you all later
well... if it was my maiden name i wouldnt mind so much... I just don't feel like carrying my ex husbands name for 8 more years
somehow i will have to get in touch with the embassy and find out if i can get a new passport with my new name on time to do the limited leave to remain. my current visa expires january 11th. I had it start on july 11th hoping I could get here in mid july but that didnt work out. my house sold faster than I thought it would so I stayed for the closing date which was july 31st. then i had 30 days to vacate and it turned out I needed every second of that... i ended up leaving tons of stuff for the new owners... it just was not possible to sort 30 years worth of stuff in the time I had. to do it properly would have taken a couple of years. seriously! Our original plan was for tom and i to live there for a few years, fix up the place so it would bring more money, ebay alot of the stuff that was in the house, and then pick out a new place together nearer to my kids and grandkids.
my son filled his van about 5 times with stuff to try to sell for me.. .he has had a couple of garage sales but now he and his wife are overwhelmed by how much stuff is still there. I think they are going to give most of it away. the way things have worked out (the denial) we have taken a huge financial loss.
we will go in person as well to apply for the limited leave to remain. I think we have to go to Croyden.
well back to bed for me... tom left for work a few minutes ago and i got up with him.. he had to be in at 5am.
mary
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ah... my fiance visa is similar but it has my photo ( I had to provide one with the application) and it says who I am to marry.
Oh, mine has my husband's details on it. I just chose not to share those with the rest of the world.
When I applied for it I did it by mail and it only took a few days BUT I gave them all the documentation that we had used for the I-129 application plus everything we had provided at the interview plus more relationship stuff -phone records and emails that no one looked at when we were trying to a USA fiance visa for tom. Those were listeded in the requirements so we provided them. We also gave them a copy of our UK tenancy agreement... they wanted proof that I had somewhere to live.. somewhere I was allowed to live. We both provided bank statements and tom had a letter from his employer. So all that is just similar to the USA process. The main differences are that there is no medical and there does not need to be an interview if you send them enough by mail. Oh... and speed of course... 6 days to be approved by the UK vs. 10 months to be denied by the USA. That six days includes mail time. Actually it really only took 3 business days. They received it on a Friday and I received the approval by email on the following Tuesday. My passport (with the visa in it) and my original documents arrived on Wednesday. The main thing was to prove that it was a real relationship with intent to marry and that Tom could provide for me financially.That sounds familiar. Yours took longer and needed more documentation than mine did, but like I said before: pre vs post-9/11, different world, etc.
Wow... how could yours take less than six days? I thought mine was super fast.
Unless you were confused by what i said about the ten months... if you look at our timeline you will see that we really wanted to live in the usa and went through the whole process and were denied in the end. That wasted ten months of our time... time we could have put to better use.
mary
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That was interesting to see those. Of course even if the name does not appear on those visa's (it does appear on my fiance one along with my picture.. in fact it looks alot like the original passport photo page) the name IS in the passport itself and thats what I don't like. Someone I know who was at my stage of the process two years ago told me that it is very expensive to have them copy a visa into a new passport. She also said to keep any old passports... especially the one that shows that you entered the country legally.
My UK fiancee visa doesn't have my photo, but it was issued 5.5 years ago, before 9/11. I guess things have changed a little. Here's mine:
http://static.flickr.com/62/213492507_64d7b0d6c1.jpg?v=0
Did you inform the US embassy that you were getting married? When we registered for the marriage Sept. 21st I was told I must contact my embassy and find out what they require of me. I have not done that yet... I am not even sure how to get ahold of them. I know I couldnt just phone them when we were going through the K1 process unless we wanted to spend a ton of money. The friend I spoke of said that she went to the embassy when she first arrived in the UK to inform them that she was moving here. I don't really want to do that if I don't have to.mary
Nope; I never bothered with it and they don't seem to care. Really all the US government wants you to do is to continue filing tax returns. Americans living abroad were advised to contact their embassies and 'register' after 9/11 but I never bothered with that either. They can't make you do anything when you're here and to be honest, a US citizen's only obligations when living overseas are to continue filing tax returns and servicing debts in the US. You don't HAVE to do anything else. My only contact with the US embassy in London since I have lived here was my presence at my husband's visa interview.
ah... my fiance visa is similar but it has my photo ( I had to provide one with the application) and it says who I am to marry. When I applied for it I did it by mail and it only took a few days BUT I gave them all the documentation that we had used for the I-129 application plus everything we had provided at the interview plus more relationship stuff -phone records and emails that no one looked at when we were trying to a USA fiance visa for tom. Those were listeded in the requirements so we provided them. We also gave them a copy of our UK tenancy agreement... they wanted proof that I had somewhere to live.. somewhere I was allowed to live. We both provided bank statements and tom had a letter from his employer. So all that is just similar to the USA process. The main differences are that there is no medical and there does not need to be an interview if you send them enough by mail. Oh... and speed of course... 6 days to be approved by the UK vs. 10 months to be denied by the USA. That six days includes mail time. Actually it really only took 3 business days. They received it on a Friday and I received the approval by email on the following Tuesday. My passport (with the visa in it) and my original documents arrived on Wednesday. The main thing was to prove that it was a real relationship with intent to marry and that Tom could provide for me financially.
mary
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I would contact the US embassy then to see how long it will take to have a passport issued under your married name. I don't know how strict the UK is in terms of immigrants going out-of-status; they seem to be somewhat more flexible here than they are in the US, but please don't take my word as gospel on this. If you can't have your passport changed before you apply for your LLR, you can always get it done later. My name doesn't even appear on my LLR/permanent resident visas; yours probably won't either. If you have a new passport issued then I wouldn't think it would be too much of a fuss to have the Home Office issue a new visa in the new passport and destroy the old one, but I've never done it.
I'd contact both the US embassy and the Home Office if I were you. As far as the US government is concerned, my name is still my maiden name and not my married name since I never changed my name in the US. I don't even know how to go about it. My number one reason for not changing it on my passport was the inconvenience involved.
These are my LLR/permanent resident visas; the mosaic'd parts are ID numbers:
That was interesting to see those. Of course even if the name does not appear on those visa's (it does appear on my fiance one along with my picture.. in fact it looks alot like the original passport photo page) the name IS in the passport itself and thats what I don't like. Someone I know who was at my stage of the process two years ago told me that it is very expensive to have them copy a visa into a new passport. She also said to keep any old passports... especially the one that shows that you entered the country legally.
Did you inform the US embassy that you were getting married? When we registered for the marriage Sept. 21st I was told I must contact my embassy and find out what they require of me. I have not done that yet... I am not even sure how to get ahold of them. I know I couldnt just phone them when we were going through the K1 process unless we wanted to spend a ton of money. The friend I spoke of said that she went to the embassy when she first arrived in the UK to inform them that she was moving here. I don't really want to do that if I don't have to.
mary
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I am hoping to get my name changed on my passport first but am not sure if that is possible. I still have almost 8 years on that passport and don't really want to carry my ex's name all that time and I am told that once the visa is stuck into that passport it's too costly to have it changed.
Mary
You don't have to change the name on your passport but be sure to get some kind of photo ID with your married name on it, otherwise people in the UK can get snarky with you in terms of ID. Even now I'm sometimes refused services because the name on my bank account doesn't match the name on my passport. It doesn't happen very often since I live in a small city and most places where I'm a regular know me, but it does still happen occasionally.
I want to change my name on my passport. I am hoping that is possible to do that before I apply for the limited leave to remain . I will only have 3 months left on my fiance visa when we marry as it took me longer than I had hoped to sell my house and pack things up in the states. I do not want to continue to carry my ex husbands name on my passport for 8 more years! I know you have to carry the marriaga certificate to explain the name change. That is what I have been told.
mary
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I still check daily for Vicky's approval. I have been back in the UK exactly four weeks today. We will be having a registry office wedding on October 9th. That was the soonest date we could get. I was really surprised to find out how much more complicated it is to marry here. Next will have to file for the limited leave to remain. Then in two years permanent leave to remain. They had better let me stay!!! I am homeless in the USA now.
I am hoping to get my name changed on my passport first but am not sure if that is possible. I still have almost 8 years on that passport and don't really want to carry my ex's name all that time and I am told that once the visa is stuck into that passport it's too costly to have it changed.
Mary
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Hey there
I didn't know anyone came in here anymore.
Vicky
I keep watching and waiting as well... I hope you have good news soon!
mary
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I like naps if they are with someone.
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This question referances the I 94 form you fill out on the palne when you go into America, there are a series of questions which are also on the DS 156 form we fill out in packet 3.
They are regaurding ones criminal history and ask have you ever been arrested, and in the same sentence been involved with prostitution or the procuring of prostitues. etc.,
I have been to America 10 times, most of those before I met my fiance. and I never checked yes to this question even though I had been arrested, mostly because it happened over 14 years ago and I did not even think about it.
Anyways, now I am admitting a criminal record because it will obvioulsy show up on the scotland yard reports and I have thought more about it since I decided to move to America.
The point is will they ask me at the interview why all those times I went on holiday I did not tick yes to that question, what should I say?
Thanks
Roger and Angela,
In a word............ no they won't! I assume that you are applying for a K1 fiance visa? I, and I'm sure many others, did exactly the same thing everytime I entered the US on a VWP.
More than likely what will happen (depending on what the convictions were, when they were committed, and how many), you will attend an interview at your consulate and they will either accept your visa, or you will be able to file a waiver.......
I even applied for a B2 visa before my K1, said that I didn't have previous convictions, went to London and they gave me it!
so really there is no need to worry about this point
Actually we were specifically asked about that at our interview (Tom had traveled to the usa three times) and although Tom explained that he had thought it was a spent crime under the Rehabilitation of Offenders Act and therefore it was not necessary to disclose, they quite sternly said that the USA does not recognize Britain's Rehabilitation of Offenders Act. At the time of the arrest, when Tom was all upset being wrongly accused, the police said don't worry it's "nothing." At the time of the court date, when the court lawyer insisted Tom plead guilty, he too said it would be nothing more than a "slap on the wrist"... a small fine (he paid £100).. .nothing to worry about. He was told that if he pled not guilty he would probably have to go to trial and might be more severely punished. In retrospect now of course he wishes he had never agreed to that, as now it has become a life sentence for both of us in the respect that we can never live in the usa or even visit there together now. But because it was treated so lightly at the time, he honestly never thought he should be required to tick yes on that airplane form. The way that question reads on the form one would assume they are talking about very serious crimes and he certainly did not think that applied to him.
I had replied to the original posters question in pm (I am still sensitive to the fact that officials are said to read this site) and was asked what our circumstances were. I might as well answer that here now that I am posting.
Tom's "crime" was to be in car in which the car owner had a small amount of weed in his personal effects. I have written about this in detail a few times... I should have something that I can just copy and paste. I will try to summarize but its so complex.
Nine years ago Tom and a friend were on their way to Ireland for a funeral and then a holiday. They were going to take the car on the ferry at Swansea. While waiting in a queue for the ferry they were sniffed out by a dog. Tom did not know his friend had a personal supply of weed on him. To this day he cannot figure out what the guy was thinking and because of this incident they are no longer friends. At first they only arrested the car owner. One customs official had searched Tom and his bags and found nothing and were letting him go when suddenly the second official came over and asked Tom where he had been sitting. When Tom told him the guy said they were arresting him as well. Apparently a bit of the stuff had fallen out of the other guys bag on to the floor of the car... on the side where Tom was sitting. It may have been knocked out by the dog that had been in the car or the car owner himself might have done it when he was getting taking his water bottle in and out of his bag all day (which had been on the floor between their seats).
They were taken to a police station, not in Swansea... Tom remembers a fairly long drive to some tiny place.. he doesn't know where exactly although I imagine the paperwork we have could identify the place. They were not jailed. As I said, Tom was upset and the police said not to worry, that it was "nothing." They were fingerprinted then driven back to Swansea where they got a hotel because they had missed the ferry. The next day they took the ferry to Ireland as originally planned.
A month later they had a court date back in Swansea. Tom went planning to plead innocent as he knew he was. When he got there, because he did not have a lawyer (he didn't know he needed one.. he had neveer had any dealings with police before in his life), they forced him to see the court lawyer. The court lawyer advised him to plead guilty. He told him that if he pled innocent and was not believed (and he had no proof he was innocent) that he might receive a harsh punishment. He was told that it would go to a higher court (this was the magistrates court) and that they would be annoyed with him for "wasting the courts time" and might give him a severe punishment. The lawyer said if he were to just plead guilty that day he would receive a small fine, a "slap on the wrist" and be done with it. He said it would be treated as personal possession and that it was such a small amount of cannibus that it was a trivial matter (more on that later).
So.. Tom went into the courtroom feeling a bit in shock.. having not expected to be pleading guilty. The judge asked guilty or innocent and he said guilty. The judge asked "personal" or "intent" and he said personal. Paid the £100 fine and went home feeling very upset about being intimidated into pleading guilty to something he didn't do. He had never been in a court before.
Flash forward a few years to the time we started the K1 process. We read a few things on the internet that caused us to begin to worry about that incident. We discovered that the breaking of ANY drug law makes one ineligible to enter the USA. We researched it and found that there is a waiver available for simple possession under 30 grams if its a one time offence. We were not happy at the idea of a waiver process adding more months to our wait. We were already in shock finding out that the process is long in any case. We naively thought we could just be together... that all we had to do was fill out some paper and file it and then just be together as soon as Tom could give notice at work. To this day most of the people I talk to in the states assume this is the case. In fact some said we should just get married and he would be able to stay. Anyway I was pretty certain we would have to file a waiver and I was worried about the hardship letter. I didn't think I had strong enough hardships.. it seemed that having minor children in the states was the only really good hardship. Tom believed we wouldnt have to file a waiver.. that when they heard the story they would see how "trivial" it was and would just give him the visa. We didn't even know if it would show up on his police report being that it was a spent crime.
Imagine his shock when the police report arrived and not only was the charge on it... it was listed as Drug Offence - Attempted Exporting!!!!! This arrived on his birthday in August 2005. We were in total shock but then I was certain the court reports would clear it up. He had been asked in court if it was personal.. and the court lawyer said it would be treated as personal. Now we understand why he said "treated as." Technically because it happened at customs it was seen as exporting! You could cross a border with one joint and you would be "exporting." What a nightmare. Last autumn is now a blur... dealing with this issue and the death of my beloved dog made for a very traumatic time.
When the court report came it also just said "exporting." Even worse, there was no amount listed... It just said "an amount." Tom wrote to the court asking for further clarification... surely there would be a court transcript of what was said in court... a record of the fact that he had pled guilty to personal possesion. We also hoped there would be a record of the amount. The fact that it was only a £100 fine should have indicated that the amount was small but we needed official documentation of that. The court wrote back that they had no further records. Nothing. No record of the amount. No record of what was said in court.
Tom went to a lawyer and was told that we should withdraw our application for the K1.. that we should not attend the interview. He was told that if we were denied at the interview (and that we would be and that we would not be given the opportunity to file a waiver) he would never be able to travel to the states ever again because this visa denial would be on his record. He said that if we withdrew, that eventually he might be able to at least get a travel visa.
We considered all this and agreed that we needed closure. We needed to go to the interview and have them deny us to our face. Also, a tiny part of us still believed we might be able to file a waiver.. that surely they would see how unfair this was. They grant waivers to people who commit assault, burglarly etc. They would refuse someone who had a little bit of weed? Never mind that it wasn't his. If it had been, who exactly would that have hurt? Anyway, we didn't want to always wonder "what if?" so we decided to follow through to the end no matter where that led.
So, in November 2005 I arrived in the Uk in hopes that we would have an interview date soon. I planned to stay 12 weeks. The plan was we would go to the interview, get denied, and then find a place for us to live together in the UK (Tom was in a two room flat in Brixton at this time) and then I would go back to the states to sell my house and get rid of as many belongings as I could. A couple of days after I arrived we were given an interview date (I had emailed them a few days earlier and said I was going to be there and hoped that we would have a date).
When we went to the interview they were very nice to us and they really liked Tom and they understood the situation. They wanted to offer us the waiver but they needed first to clear it with supervisors. So we waited an extra couple of hours and then were called back to the window where the guy said they could see it was not exporting and that it would be treated as personal possession and we could file the waiver application. They felt we had an excellent chance of being approved. At that time the London waivers were taking 6- 8 weeks so we expected a decision before I would be leaving the UK. Shortly after this the waiver times increased dramatically and we ended up waiting 13 weeks. I had to extend my stay because I was not going back to the states without knowing if I was meant to prepare for Tom to join me there or if I was meant to sell my house and arrange to move to the UK. Also, if I was to move to the Uk we would want to find a big enough place to live before my departure so I would have a home to return to in the UK.
All during February 2006 we waited each morning for the phone to ring .. waiting for the call to tell us we were approved (they were telephoning the approvals at that time). Finally on March 3rd, we received a letter... we were denied
We were denied on the basis that the charge was unwaiverable... because the charge was exporting instead of personal possession. Our hardship letters were not even considered. They said Tom was a threat to the safety, security and well being of the USA Somehow they lost track of the fact that it was supposed to be handled as personal possesssion. In that case we should not have been allowed to even file the waiver. The whole point of letting us file the waiver application was that the charge would be treated as personal possession. There were instructions for filing an appeal but it had to be done quickly and we would have to have something addition to give them. We decided it was pointless. Also, we had read that appeals can take years and we had already had enough time stolen from us. We are not young.. we won't have 50 years together.
We were numb and devastated but somehow we managed to find a house to rent and we moved into it at the end of March. In mid May I returned to the states and began a very difficult process. I had to liquidate my belongings and sell the home I had lived in for 30 years. There was an incredible amount of sorting to be done. Packrats had lived there.. for too long...
At this point most of that time is a blur in my mind. It was exhausting, stressful and traumatic. Somehow I managed to sell the house and alot of the contents. Alot got left to the new owners as I ran out of time to sell and sort things. I arrived in the UK on Sept 2nd with a fiance visa for settling in the UK. Gradually I am coming to terms with the fact that we will not be part of my grandkids lives, that we will never again go to the places that we enjoyed together there, that we will never have a house the size of the one we had there (and it was morgage free). It's going to take time. It's going to be more of an adjustment for me than I anticipated. (Tom says he knew it would be). I was very happy here all last winter and I hated to leave in May but the goodbyes I had to say there three weeks ago were heartwrenching. Tom is working very long hours at the moment because they are shorthanded at work. I am very lonely because I don't have any friends here yet and I have been told it is very difficult here to find friends later in life. Because it is so expensive to live in London we couldnt rent a house in Brixton where Tom had lived for 20 years. We rented a three bedroom house in Gravesend in Kent county for not much more than he was paying for a tiny two room flat in Brixton. This means though that he is new to the area as well.. so we really don't have a social network. I am used to having friends to do things with and I am used to seeing my kids and grandkids. So, while I am very happy to be back with Tom (that feels so right and we will be married on October 9th) I still grieve for the life we wanted to share in the USA. The whole reason we planned it that way to begin with was because Tom felt that would be best for me as I had kids there (and at the time I also had pets.)
I honestly feel that my government has let me down.. that they didn't care about me and that the laws that are in place that could cause us to be in this situation are ridiculous. They have protected the USA from nothing.
mary
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still nothing? this is crazy.
do they have any idea the limbo they keep people in for so long? I would love for them to experience it and see how it feels.
do they have any concept of how peoples lives are changed forever based on their decision? I got several pms from my daughter last night about how desperately unhappy she is about me being here. She said she knew it would be hard but didn't realize how hard it would hit her. She has clients in our hometown and she said that now she can't stand to go there if I am not there. She said that she even overnighted some documents to one client last week rather than hand deliver it as she normally would have. She just couldn't bear to be there. The hardships affect more people than the petitioner and/or beneficiary.
I feel a little bad ... like I am being selfish... but... they are grown!!! All my kids are over 30!
On a lighter note.... my son is getting my car ready to sell for me (stupid me somehow packed the title and had to mail it to him last week). He said he was waxing and cleaning it etc. and told his little four year old daughter Carina that it was Grandma Mary's car and she wouldn't need it anymore as she was in England. Carina said to him " we should visit Grandma Mary... she is going to miss us!" LOL! she didn't say she missed me... just that "I" would miss "them." Too cute.
I need to find some cards to send....
mary
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Not married yet but almost...... October 9th
I would have missed out on :
Thai and Indian food
Crumpets
Wensleydale cheese
Little Britain
Shameless
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Hi Munkins,
Naww I'm just trying to sneak by so they don't notice me.
You can't piss them off or it will be "off with your head" 
It does say 12 to 15 weeks and today is our official 14 weeks so they still have one more week to torture us. Unless they update the list and change it to 15 to 20 weeks. Wouldn't that just be my luck. 
I'm sure we will hear something soon. Hope you guys get good news at the interview and don't need to go through this.
Happy Thursday,
Vicky
You know, I always wondered about that... I emailed them a couple of weeks before the denial. Tom had booked some time off work and wanted to take me to Scotland and I wanted to find out when we might hear something. We were afraid to just go to Scotland and miss their call. I have always wondered if I messed things up by emailing. I might have called attention to our case and they just grabbed someone to finish things up... someone who didn't know that the embassy had determined that our case was to be treated a little differently.
I certainly hope you get good news soon Vicky. Its so hard to put life on hold for so long. I wonder if they have any idea of what that is like. It affects so many areas.
...and we never did go to Scotland. But we will...
mary
THEY DENIED IT
in Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)
Posted
I am very sorry to hear this. I do know the feeling so well... not being able to breathe. I was visiting tom when we got the denial letter. We literally sat numb on the sofa for hours. It all felt so surreal. Sometimes it still does. When we were going through the process there was no list. The letter just appeared one day... 13 weeks after we submitted the forms. I believe "completed" just means that they have finished and have made their decision. No way to know at that point what the decision is.
It truly is inhumane what they put us all through and that someone who doesn't know us and doesn't care about us can control our lives to such an extent. I hope you can work out another plan. We are living here in the UK now. I desperately miss my kids and grandkids but that's the way it is. The alternative would be worse. I don't know your case at all so I don't know if you plan to appeal or if you should. We felt that in our case it would be pointless and we didn't want to waste any more time waiting and waiting for what would most likely be the same result. What I would like to do is try to work things out so that at least we can visit the usa together one day.
mary