CGivens

There isn't a single member of this forum with a fiancee/wife from Vietnam who didn't consider that they might end up moving to Vietnam if every attempt at getting a visa failed, but nobody puts that option first on their list, which is precisely what you were suggesting that he do.

Your statement is NOT true/correct at all. I see lots and lots of cases here on VJ where people mentioned AFTER their spouses from VN moved to the US and stayed til he/she got the GC/citizenship, they both moved back to VN.

I just wanna let the OP know of one possible scenario that may happen to him in a very near future. If that happens, then he shouldn't "waste" $$$ bringing her here. Save the trouble and $$$ and move to VN now. At least that makes more sense to me.

But we're talking about VN here, where there have been lots of marriages in which the groom's own children ages are even OLDER than the brides. If my daughter marries such man, I wouldn't exactly walk on the streets looking at my people I know with my head high.

I have to say Jim's arguments are very compelling, they are all suported by fact, logic and not hear'say. It does apear the best choice to start is a K-1 visa

Thanks alot for all the debate its best to see both sides of any possability.

Jim's the best in the house indeed. He'll follow you all the way and be your marriage counselor as well. Didn't you know that?

Lots and lots folks in here have been happily forever, thanks to Jim.

That is if she decides to agree and co-operate with you once she's got what she wanted. (you can ask her what she wanted on your own time and effort)

JIM: 1 Dau Que: 0

Wait til Ms. Phuong got her citizenship first, Brian. It's a bit premature to make that conclusion for now, IMHO. Jim knows what I'm referring to.

DON'T DO IT!

Seriously, most VN wood crafts are beautiful, but they don't cure their wood properly. They simply don't have the facilities for it. The wood will remain beautiful as long as it stays in the relatively high humidity of Vietnam. When you bring it back to the US it will begin to dry out, and it will warp and crack. Several of my wife's relatives tried to save money by buying their Buddhist altars in Vietnam, and then having them disassembled and shipped to the US. Every one of them are warped and cracked.

I had a guitar made by a brilliant luthier in Saigon. The wood was fabulous, and the dragon inlays were perfect. Two months after getting it back to the US the neck had warped where it joins the body, and all of the strings bottomed out at the 13th fret. I brought it back to Vietnam and had the neck repaired by the same luthier, who did an excellent job. There are now cracks on the face of the guitar. I don't blame the luthier. The wood craft was superb. It's just that the wood wasn't properly cured for export.

My wife bought her altar at a shop in San Jose. It was expertly made in Da Nang, and it's as beautiful as any I've ever seen. The difference is that the wood was cured properly before it was built. It cost about 3X what we would have paid in Vietnam, but so far it's remained perfect. There are a number of shops in California - mostly in Westminster and San Jose - that sell Vietnamese wood furniture. I recommend you buy from one of them, rather than taking a chance buying one in Vietnam. If you do end up buying it in Vietnam then disassemble it and pack it in a crate for shipping. It will cost much less.

Ask one of the Vnese instrument musicians on how to preserve their toys and you'll learn the secret how to keep wood products from cracking. Pham Duc Thanh, who can seen on lots of Thuy Nga's Paris By night, and now resides in Montreal Canada, should be one of them. Whether he'll tell you the secret for free is questionable though.

The waiting time for both is apparently on par at the moment.

The question that had me picking K1 was: "Do you want to spend all or part of the first year of marriage apart?" and the answer for me was a definite NO. Even though the CR-1 permits travel and work immediately (which definitely would ease the transition), I just didn't want to be apart from my new husband for so long. I know some cultures/religions have issues with people living together before marriage so that's another reason some people pick CR-1, because k1 often means living together for a couple of weeks or so before the wedding can be organised in the US.

Do you realize for Vietnam Consulate a K-1 route is almost a guarantee for failure? K-1 route tends to be favored by people who committed in fake/arranged marriages (VN I'm talking about now) and the US Consulate knows how to turn away those people, by rejecting those petitions as much as they can.

Are you seriously telling him to sell everything he has and move to Vietnam when he hasn't even met his fiancee face to face yet?

This all seems strangely familiar. Kind of like another member here who was Viet Kieu, and had a fundamental dislike for white American guys marrying Vietnamese girls.

Did I advise the OP to sell his asset and transfer it to her account? I told him to save all the hassles by skipping the "unnecessary" steps. (he already proposed that step in the very last entry of his post).

In regards to your statement, you ARE THE ONE who is attacking other VJ member (me) at the moment. And that's against the TOS.

Hello all,

Ok so, as I begin this process my biggest question is what would be best...?

My Fiancee is a citizen of Vietnam and I am a citizen of the United States. I plan on visiting her in the next few months once I get my passport and a tourist visa to Vietnam. Most of what I have read so far is making sure you have a history of a relationship and that you can prove it is also ongoing. I talk with her mostly on skype so I can have a solid record of the time we have known each other and proof that the relationship is continious, ongoing and the feelings we share are genuine. Once I visit my love in Vietnam and we can establish the physical meeting and suport it with photo's and reciepts of our time together. Would it be best to propose then and be married at that point so we can apply for the spousal visa. Or... just have the trip as a meeting and have the Dinh Hong (engagement party) then plan on being married after we are together in the USA by aplying for the K-1 Fiancee visa. I understand that the spousal visa (c-130 I think) is about half the over all cost of the k-1 but it takes longer for the process to work its course 8-9 months for the C-130 vs. 6-7 months for the K-1. The time or cost isnt the issue, (I am a machinist so I make a fair living lol but I am far from being comfortable financialy) I am more concerned with making sure everything is done correctly so that we have the best chance to be together. If worse comes to worse I am even considering selling everything here in the USA and moving to Vietnam should she be denied a visa. Although I would much rather we live here in the USA... I do enjoy the freedom and life we have here...

The best would be selling everything now and move to VN. Eventually she would ask you to do the same anyway, after she moves here in the US for a short period of time. Save yourself money and the trouble. Do that now. Then if your relationship with her doesn't work out, you can move back to the States, assuming she and her family are nice enough to leave you some left-over money to bring home.

Good luck in the future.

i am planning to visit vietnam with my wife for tet in a few days. we are going to suprise everyone because no one knows we are coming. after 7 months in the states my wife missed her family dearly, but not queerly. i still think she is a vietnam spy and have been keeping my eye on her. so far nothing fishy. except for the fact that she knows how to make really good "american food" ie. sphegetti, meatballs, shepard's pie and tacos. she makes crappy viet food. i ran into other viet kieus from vinh long and planning to meet up and hang out. hopefully they are not really killers or psychos. if they are i hope my vietnamese spy wife is also trained to kill. i planted a few marijuana plants at my grandmother's farm 7 months ago when i was there and hoping to have some coconut water.

does anyone here know how i can buy one of those sweet wooden vietnamese bench/couch and mail them back to the states?

What makes you think you know ALL the details about the people coming in asking for help? You just "assume" what they told you here is the truth.

How many people actually come back here and update their "REAL" marital status afterwards?

When it comes to VNese marriages, please don't use the term "moral". It's an oxymoron!

To me, Wreath's divorce case is NO DIFFERENT from one that filed divorce for only 3 months prior to filing another petition for someone in Vietnam. (and there're tons of those cases in this forum)

A horse's ####### might smell a little bit better than a bull's, but in the end, they are ALL CRAPS.

I heard you were in Vietnam and in the countryside with another woman and were already engaged I think her name was mimi? I also noticed you were using a different nic and were planning on moving here and teaching? In any case, good luck in what you do decide to do, we each have to live our own life.

The man asked for direction so he can file for a quick and inexpensive divorce so he can move on with his life. Whether it's a good and smart strategy, who knows. I wouldn't think he appreciates you exposed his "private" life like so; furthermore, whether your info is accurate. I'll be pissed if I were the OP and the info is not true.

Hmm. I do not recall saying anything like that, CGivens. I do intend on making a full post of all the details of our journey. I have not had but four hours of sleep over the last three days. I do aplogize for not being more resposive with you guys. Yes, she does forget things very quickly. When she talks with me and I have learned that I only have less then two days to inquire about it. You do not know her. I really would have thought that she would have post her details on the VN forums.

I don't blame you or her. Right now both of you should focus on the "big" wedding event and getting organized so she's ready to leave VN and heading to the States. Eventually her memory will recover once she's got enough rest. I simply pointed out to whoever kept asking you for the info. For some people, short-term memory tends to be very fragile and unreliable til it's been processed and become long-term memory. That's all.

Give the man a rest! He "politely" tells you and others "My wife passed the interview and this forum now serves no purpose to us. Please don't bother us anymore!"

Noone would "forget" things that quickly.

Edit to add: Except for my 80 year-old Grandma. Whenever it was time of the month for her to pay her bills, she always said "Gee, again already? My memory ain't that great anymore at this age."

But when it was time for any of her children's monthly housing rentals (she has 11 children), she even remembered on the DAY BEFORE the due date, especially when the due date fell on a weekend!

so what all did you frontload at the time??

Give the man a rest! He "politely" tells you and others "My wife passed the interview and this forum now serves no purpose to us. Please don't bother us anymore!"

Noone would "forget" things that quickly.

Well heres how it went down. My wife and I got back together for about three weeks and two hundred dollars later when I went to her nick again and read some of her chats again and saw she gave a nick to some one there. I went to yahoo invisable checker and typed the nick and there was my wifes picture.She also had a blog where she talks about taking money from one man and giving all her love to some one who never did anything for her.I talked to her about it and she told me to forget her and I was thinking the same thing. About one month later I went to Viet nam and emailed her dad and told him I would come to her hometown and file paper there and asked where I needed to go.Anyway he told me not to come there he said send my wife five hundred dollars and she would file the paper and I wouldnt need to come.I told him I didnt trust her so I would send money to him only and I did.He kept the money till near the end of my trip and sent me a email telling me to take back the money because he told me to send it to my wife , he told me he has hundreds and thousands of dollars far more than my fortune in usa and he didnt need it and now my wife didnt want it so I can do divorce in usa. I had to pay for a translator and get a paper so my friend there could get the money because I had to go back to usa the next day. So i have more anger issues. She has since has left the home and spending time with her boyfriend there who doesnt care if she gets divorced or not I guess. So Im trying to figure out how I can file divorce here with out spending money on a lawyer. Wreath

http://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Dummies-John-Ventura/dp/0764550586

Good Luck!