IAMSADIA

cheer up I don't have any jokes but I know I had an RFE when I was going thru the process.

It only slowed me down bye a few extra days.

I dont have any dogs but I had fish,,I HAD fish,,umm they died.

but I know what it feels like to have an ambitious 5 yr old does that count? plus I am feeling like a big huge airballoon these days,believe me gaining weight at this rate being pregnet and hormonal I got alot of really down days like your having but what helps me is ,,the someday soon thoughts,,it will get better!

I greet the morning sickness like a braveheart now,my husband stands behind me giving me the run down of the day.. numbers to call bills he is worried about and he is so used to it now that it's just a routine.

then at the end of his speech he usually sais if u got it what I said give me a sighn! I moan once and nod my head,,great he smiles and kisses the back of my head and leaves for work.

once I get over that part of the day I am a happy weeble wobble ,,see? there is always some kind of humor in life,try to stay positive ,it's such a lonely draining process on visas but you'll make your way out.

be good to yourself and smile thru the pain.

Sadia

Hi everyone,,faith I have about the same kind of pains as you but I actualy feel like my baby and bladder are going to fall right out of me. during my dr visit yesterday she told me this was due to it being a 3rd baby . but anyways the babys heart beat is 160 strong and fast and very active she is.

I am just at the point where I'm so worried about everything and wish time would go fast now.

I got about 3 months and a half to go ,will be a c section again ,but I sure hate walking around like I am glass for that time to so I know how u feel.

good luck everyone..

Sadia

A house is only a house,a home is where your heart grows. as long as u got a roof and a table to share your meals with your son and family with thats the main thing.

anyone can adjust to shifting as long as u got each other .

your a great mom! Iv'e lived in mobile homes and houses all my life went from one to the other.

the only difference to me was that I was happy I had friends ,food and clothes.

I think at 18 your son will surely suprise you and be suportive,it's a nice life lesson for him also,,he's about to enter the world on his own shortly,,so just be a good mom like u are and don't sweat the house thingy.

God bless

Sadia

I guess I am not shocked at the statistics. knowing personally that things do infact change once the love connection is together in the US. I have posted my experiences before and some people don't like it and have told me this and some apreciate the honesty ,I imagine the ones that don't like the negative sides of things are the scared ones who didnt get to know there mates like me in the flesh for more then 3 weeks.

for me it has to do with having two children from my first marriage along with maybe an age difference but all in all I think most couples will face hardships once the boat anchors here in America.

maybe not but the least forgotten on my side here is the fact that homesickness occurs and difference of foods ,movies ,musics..the extreme freedom one experiences here once they get here from any country such as where my husband is from can be so confusing to the one just experiencing it.

all the sudden an eagle can forget he's an eagle and become a duck like the rest,,and trying to fit in with the crowds here ,going against your own religion,and just tasting a bit of sin where before you couldnt is a lot like forgetting who you are completely wich causes a great strain on your marriage because the man u thought u married was the one u found back in his homeland,,now suddenly here in america things change.

we have been flying upwards lately instead of downwards but it's been purely miraculous because we have had alot of struggles so I'd say it takes way into a year for things to get even a little balanced in most cases.

for those with no kids and coming from countries with more freedoms and such maybe it's a little easier.

thats my input on this. plus Iv'e seen in others lots of struggles as well.

but to each there own,everyone is different.

good luck all

Sadia

ohhhhhhh congratulations kiki!! that is wonderful! umm and ya u win in ages hehehe any names yet?

having a girl here to! everyone sais to me have a boy,,we got boy clothes!

I am getting to the miserable point ,everything hurts,can't get comfortable,baby on my bladder,eat all the time or can't decide what I crave for ,emotional outbursts,slow on energy and I am just so ready to have the baby but I still got til july..

anyone at that point yet where they just wana have the baby?

I don't make a good pregnet lady but I sure am a crazy cat mommy once the baby comes.

for all u first timers,,and whiners like me ,,I guess it's good to remind yourselves it's well worth it all the pains and sickies in the end.

but at age 40 I am glad to hear the dr say it only takes 5 min to tie the tubes haha.

got 3 blessings in my life .

anyone here have any worries of new culture traditions once the baby is here?

I know in pakistan and I think in India they shape the forhead of baby with hands,,pressing gently daily on babys head. I dont think I'll go with that one at all and something about eye liner ,,now I dont recall the correct name for it,,it's supposed to help for babys eyes.

all this is very strange to me and cant even imagine doing it. just wondering if anyone else has any new things to add on the different nationality of things.

since my hubby dont know how to shape the forhead,,guess i should be in the clear for that ..

but have u ever heared of such a thing?

it's nothing religious it's a cosmetic thing I guess purely,,one thing I dont favor. I say leave it to God to create the forehead. oh and I learend what a frock was .

Jani said we will get the baby lots of frocks. frock ? he said dresses! it's kind of fun all this learning new things and he's learning here what a baby shower means,kind of interesting.

stay healthy mommies and congratulations to all the new mommys comming in.

Sadia

Hi I am an older mom also will be 40 in aug. this is my 3rd child so not my first but I am older:).

I don't think it's an uncommon thing these days but I know one thing. I sure can tell a difference between being 26 and being almost 40 now ,sure get tired out faster.

good luck your not alone:)

Sadia

congrats,he is a real dolly. that is wonderful!!

I can't get my baby ticker to work ..anyone help?

Sadia

sleeping at night is really hard now..I think I need a pillow for my legs or what does anyone else here try?

things that annoy me.. I hate the song pour sugar on me,,he sings this all the time lately,,it's getting OLD now haha ,,he takes SO long to get ready with gelling his hair and all that. he splashes water all over the bathroom sink and mirror,smoking and his spitting .

don't like the sounds he makes when he is mad and some other things I wont mention,,just examples here of annoyances hehehe.

other then that I think it's cute when he sings indian songs in the shower and holds my hand before we fall to sleep each night.

Sadia

I love that story! my boy is almost 13 and he's low functioning autistic. he is not afraid of anything .

have not had the opurtunity to meet many parents like myself but my son is a big challenge with big smiles on his face. he is a runner and his latest ran to mcdonalds his fav place in the world,,(as I was showering)..I could not believe this but he broke out of his window that was locked,,he hadnt figured it out til now but he

ran in the snow without any shoes or socks just to get to mcdonalds. about 10 blocks.

I called 911 after a neighbor alerted me she said george running down 45th and the police brought him home and the mcdonalds staff was wonderful,putting socks on his feet and keeping him safe til police arrived.

have since put metal bars on his window now,and am getting an ID bracelett for him.

he is nonverabl and depends on us his parents and teachers for everything.

most everyone in our building and nieghborhood watch out for george and he has a wonderful school he attends ,I think he would do well in special olympics he is gifted in running fast!

I dont know how I would be able to cope though with the demands of everything if not for easterseals goodwill,I have a 5 yr old also and one on the way but the staff from easter seals really does wonderful things, respite care and outside activities with both of my kids.

I wish more then anything my son was like the boy in this story,he cant even say one single word.

he's in diapers and everything and the most amazing thing is he looks incredibly normal no one would ever guess he's handicapped until spending about 10 min with him.

what a nice story though,,just a great thing for people to hear about our challenged kids in the world.

Sadia

I cant sleep either!! I wana sleep on my right side all the time and I think I am getting stiff because of it.

whats worse is I wake up nauseated because ofcource I have to go pee all night long.

but my hubby took me shopping for new maternity clothes..he thinks I am so cute now.

I feel like a weeble wobble somedays..

that pillow looks great!

Sadia

hi all ..how is everyone here? cindi it's going well? shon where is the dayum visa hehehe..and mary

have u heared anything yet ?

well just wanted to let u girls know after the 3rd reading of sonogram they definetly tell me once again it's

a girl!! jani is so excited! he's talking about taking her swimming already buying her shades and a bikini!

21 weeks .. getting closer.

Sadia

I agree with agent smith! umm plus I think if a person judges anothers religion..should really

know the books and actually talk to a few muslim families before casting stones.

Sadia

morning sickness,,I had it with both my boys and now with this baby.I throw up once in the morning and the rest of the day I try to eat because if I dont I will vomit again.

small meals all day long is one way to help it.

I learned with morning sickness popsickles ,ice chips and pepermint candys is good.

I got a little green stool I kick to the toilet every morning ..its an everyday routine and I sit on that and get it over with...

atfirst I cried alot..it's so exhausting..now I just do it like it's getting dressed..then I head to the kitchen to feed my nauseated belly.

now 21 weeks almost I am so tired more then being nauseated and I am getting downright uncomfortable.

the baby kicks my bladder so hard I bend over and cross my legs and fingers both haha.

I have never felt so lazy and helpless in all my life..talk about no energy.

if i work about 15 min I have to rest sit down then get back up again and finish it.

my hubby now tells me he is going to do the housework..i am going to rest.

can't tell you guys the guilt I feel in not wanting to play with my 5 yr old..not wanting to cook for my family,

I just simply cannot believe how much work it is just to get the kids on the school bus ontime everyday.

I asked the dr why am I so exhausted and WHY do I have to PEE all the time if my urine is clear?

she said it just how it is I guess.. well it could be that you got a 40 yr old bladder,that might explain the rest of your weakness also. I say I never was a in shape person to begin with..but this has really hit me hard..I feel like a 107! so once u get passed the morning sickness,,who knows maybe your next obstacle will be loss of energy. I know for me I just can't do this again.. I'll do the tube tying thing right after delivery.

for u younginns though ,,nausea is not so bad once u hold that baby in your arms.

for me to..it is ALL worth it in the end.

but dang girls I am getting to old for this haha.

oh drinking lemonade helped me in my first trimester to. now I am more into krispy creme and mashed potatoes.

all the best..

Sadia

speaking from experience let alot of time pass,don't contact her.

I did that before and it's worked but lately she's just as stubborn as an old mule.

even my going to have a baby isn't precious enough for her to shake hands and forget..

for the first time in history I stood up to my mother and so now she has completely

decided to not talk to me I guess.

I'll tell u what SHE did. she went to one of my best friends and interigated her on my personal life adding

a few things she didnt like about me..one of them was dying my hair dark..OH god like that is the end of civilization. she mentioned a few things about me,one of them being ungrateful to her..me and my husband forgetting her and dad..oh ya like that happend. Iv'e only kissed her butt for my whole 40 years almost.

trying to please her has always been such a challenge for me all my life,nothing is good enough.

she isn't this way with just me so I dont have to feel TOO special in this I guess but my advice is ...

even if your mom kicks screams disrespects you on and on.. go on with your life thats all you can do.

forget the emails and phone calls via u and her.

my mom praises and admires my two brothers,,I am almost positive she would never dare ask there freinds about there lives ya know?? it was SO embarassing for me I had to stand up foronce and tell her I did not apreciate that and so this I guess is my punishment.

but she's the one going to be hurt in the end ..she's got a baby grandaughter on the way,something she has ALWAYS wanted knowing shes got all boys no girls. wait there is ME but do I count? hahaha.

something to think about..

families!! space and time thats all I can say!

good luck and hang in there ..I feel for ya

Sadia

enjoy it? hahahha i find they are in the way all the time now

Johnny actually said last night to my belly "you know I want those back when you are done with them" I almost peed myself laughing!

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Hi all.. guess what the dr said yesterday that everything looked good..but she wants me to take baby asprin

everyday something to help avoid preclampsia and another interesting fact..she said paternity makes a diff

the fact that it's a diff father could mean u have a healthy normal preg with no preclampsia.

as u all know I worry of this because of past historys in this.

AND.... ITS A GIRL!!

Sadia

Have had a major fight with the woman who gave birth to me... won't call her mother coz the word implies love and caring something she cannot give to her daughter... she never has and never will... she can only love my brother... ** I should be used to it by now... her whole fcuking family is the same... typical fcuking Indian values... and one wonders why I hate this fcuking country!!! Anyway I just told her I do not want her or any member of her disgusting family at my wedding... am still freaked... don't know what to do to calm down... have never been able to understand how women can love a child if it is the right gender and hate/deprive another if it is not... ** all these fcuking women should have nothing but sons... then there will be no women to marry their darling sons. The more I see of this country the more I loathe it... the societal values are so full of sh#$ - the films are full of sh$% - bias is inherent in this country... try talking to an untouchable and you will know... they say there is no longer untouchability here... just as there is no gender bias... like hell there isn't...

mel,,find your own happiness. everyones family functions differently.

different countries,expectations,,the good the bad..

I am american wishing that I could have a wonderful mother/daughter

relationship but over all my life have ran into brick walls with it.

just wishing you well and lots of happiness in your future. be good to

yourself and build your own house of love and family.

regardless of how my mother treats me sometimes or how I treat her,,wich

I never have disrespected her even at the worst of times.

I love her ,thats just me. my husband is from pakistan,,his family is so loving

to there children ,the daughters as much as sons and I can tell you my husband

is so shocked to see in america many people not just me that have broken

relationships with there parents.

I think it has to do with how the family IS not the country where your from

exactly because in my husbands family,,no one is left out,infact they talk to him more

then my own parents have talked to me. a world away and they communicate beautifully.

my parents were against me and jani getting maried,,they turned there backs to me

for a whole yr but I still invited them to the weding and guess what? they came.

now ofcource there was a big fight between us over something so SILLY..so havent seen

her in 6 months wich is a shame being half way thru a difficult pregnancy.

I try to make friends with her but she's prideful.

take it from me.. be kind but step back into your own ways and make your own

brand new family . take care I feel so bad for you,because I know what it's like..

I have always felt like the black sheep in my family..u know the expression ,,(the odd one)

haha.. thats ok someone has to be,,I am happy regardless cause of my kids and husband.

All the best

Sadia

hi all ,,sadia here again...was kind of feeling hesitant about asking this question but,,here it goes.

I am having to wear mini pads now..I think it's urine leakage. anyone have this? 20 weeks..

I am going to have an ultrasound on the 8th..maybe I should schedule a dr appointment same day?

kind of getting worried.

and another question,,I live in a 3 bedroom apt ,,2 boys.

well we don't have a nursery,is anyone dealing with this also? feel so guilty about that we want to find something bigger with 4 bedrooms as the baby gets bigger. think a crib in the parents room

is kind of bad looking? I man I guess with my other babies I prefered them next to my bed anyways.

see ammna,,your worried about money raising a baby and I am worried about a nursery hehe.

I guess it's not a biggie,, just do what u can right?

the shower idea I'll desperatly need. they used to give free carseats out at our hospital but I think the laws

have changed in what u need to have for safety measures for carseats? I got NO idea what to look for in that department either ,,since the hospital here always supplied us mommys with one as we left the hospital.

ok and another question guys,,this is my 3rd,,another c section. I am nervous,because I been watching some births on tv with complications on scar tissue ect.

talk about getting paranoid and panicked about things half way thru geez.

pardon all the questions. ya and one more hehe how one arth did u girls get that baby countdown bar on your names?

Sadia

Sadia,

I think that the leakage you are having is something that can happen during pregnancy, do talk to your Doctor about it. He/She may give you some exercises to do to help with that.

I also will be having a c-section for the 3rd time, but haven't heard about the scar tissue issue, I will look into it now...LOL.

Another thing we have in common is the 3 bedroom issue. I have a son 12 and a daughter 8 and the baby on the way. We are just going to put the baby in our room for now. I don't see us moving anytime soon, since I'm going to college and we live on campus and it is really cheep for us.

as for the baby countdown on my name..... if you click on mine it should take you to the web page... there you put in your info, and it will create a link... you copy that link into your signature here on VJ...hope that helps..

Patricia

patricia thanks for the support,,I will be going in for an ultrasound on wed so maybe I can schedule also to see the dr that day as I am worried about the leakage.

how are you feeling these days? I just feel relieved to be half way there. I guess the baby being in our bedroom is not such a bad idea as others to on here have said it's best to have the baby near bye anyways.

I don't have the crib yet even! thanks for the baby countdown ,,I hope it works now we will see:)

if not I'll feel kind of silly ...

take care ,,see u in baby corner

Sadia

hi all ,,sadia here again...was kind of feeling hesitant about asking this question but,,here it goes.

I am having to wear mini pads now..I think it's urine leakage. anyone have this? 20 weeks..

I am going to have an ultrasound on the 8th..maybe I should schedule a dr appointment same day?

kind of getting worried.

and another question,,I live in a 3 bedroom apt ,,2 boys.

well we don't have a nursery,is anyone dealing with this also? feel so guilty about that we want to find something bigger with 4 bedrooms as the baby gets bigger. think a crib in the parents room

is kind of bad looking? I man I guess with my other babies I prefered them next to my bed anyways.

see ammna,,your worried about money raising a baby and I am worried about a nursery hehe.

I guess it's not a biggie,, just do what u can right?

the shower idea I'll desperatly need. they used to give free carseats out at our hospital but I think the laws

have changed in what u need to have for safety measures for carseats? I got NO idea what to look for in that department either ,,since the hospital here always supplied us mommys with one as we left the hospital.

ok and another question guys,,this is my 3rd,,another c section. I am nervous,because I been watching some births on tv with complications on scar tissue ect.

talk about getting paranoid and panicked about things half way thru geez.

pardon all the questions. ya and one more hehe how one arth did u girls get that baby countdown bar on your names?

Sadia

wow crazy brit ,a hug whenever your upset,,I could live with THAT hehe.

honestly it's probably twice a week here.

gets a little sarcastic at times,a little dumb at other times and pretty

earthshaking atleast once a month,,something like a trainwreck!

then usually when making up,,it's the I am sorry it's my fault..no no it's MY FAULT..

no no reaaaaaaaaally it's my fault! oh your so cute..no your SO cute.. I'm not cute u are..

hahahaha..

a few days after we saw brokeback mountain on the big screen,,we got into a fight and I

suddenly cried.. "I just ,,I just wish I could QUIT U! ofcource anyone that has seen that movie knows

that is a fight scene between the two of them brokeback guys,and as soon as I said that line

to him he bursted out laughing! we both had to laugh! then he did his little spin on it and added HEY thats not apropriate! haha one of the words I had to teach him was apropriate,he came form work one day asking what it meant so now he thinks this is this big incredible powerful word and we joke about THAT all the time to....

now when one of us is looking even down or tired or depressed one of us sais the I wish I could just quit u joke and it's gotten to be one of them things between us that seem stupid but makes us laugh.

I think anyone that don't fight,,is a pure miricle,,don't know how anyone can keep all that in

cause I know for me we have faced many cultural differences that we both never even

dreamed we would. fights are normal ..it's the out of control ones I dont like,I think though after 18 months time together we are learning it dont have to get THAT big in fights.

peace out..

Sadia

having kids expensive? ya,,,but it also takes common sence,,I mean

do u need gap or walmart most? I guess u adjust your way of life

to get what the little ones need. xmas is kind of hairy when your down

on your luck cause u know santa has to come:).

they need clothes medical care ,toys,food and all kinds of things that

are unbelievable but after u have the kids,,its just a natrual thing.

I hope I geta girl I wana buy all the things I didnt get when I was a kid haha.

I mean it's all fun to! I love spending on my kids ,,dollor store or mcdonalds

I just want them happy.

the good part is if u have two kids lots of times u can give the next baby the old clothes.

the havinga shower is a good idea. was thinking the same for me!

do people give themselfs a shower? a friend does it dont they or what?

I saw on yummy mummy the new style of showers,,drinks and all men and women.

sounds like alot of fun to me!

20 weeks next week hurray!

Sadia

I must of completely skipped over that part.. must of been a bad day.

well .. how in the world this will ever work then is a question.

showing affections would be hard to do in this department.

all the best..

Sadia

foods your used to movies ,music ,books it all helps. good luck ..

all the best

Sadia

I know nothing about the vietnemese culture but I do know not to expect anyone not from

America to carry on the American ways of affections either not in two weeks time.

most of us here are used to showing our affections even in public,but I know where my husband

is from that public affections is basically against the law.

we were holding hands during one of my Dr visits one day and the dr came in and my husband

quickly jerked his hand from mine,as if he had got caught going thru the cookie jar with dirty hands.

my husband does privately show me affections at home,,singing to me ,brushing my hair and dancing

with me ,,he is most comfortable at home this way but even so,,he jokes that if one of his brothers saw him

phone me on his work breaks just to say LOVE U ,,they would tease him endlessly!

basically back home where he is from the men show affections in bed..and that is about IT.

but it never was that way with my husband he is very romantic.

But I wana say we did develp other cultural issues and some probably age related ones since I am older then, but I think that the poster was talking mostly about her not showing affection to him at home?

where .. some of this could be cultural ..it's just drilled into a persons head how to feel or behave BUT

as many say love holds no culture when it comes to showing someone they love them.

How was it that you got to know that she "loved" u,do u remember how affectionate she was with u before she came here? for my marriage here,,it was like a romantic novel atfirst ..so much energy between us

and as long as he was not in HIS country he felt safe to SHOW that side of him. now we are more settled down but the holding hands and winks never stop.

as I say his brothers would laugh at his face if they ever saw him call me "baby" or sweety" and do the LOVE U thing all the time ,,love u before bed and love u before going to work...he gets so tickled that he can say that here. I guess take the whole ammount of time the 90 days to figure out your descision.

dont get married just because it's the 12th of march or whatever.. talk it out and see if she feels awkward about being in america adjusting here ,,missing her family ect,but don't jump in the sea without your lifejacket be safe and best of luck.

Sadia

hi girls..

just was curious if u all were thinking of baby names.

it's the one only thing I really enjoy in pregnancy besides

feeling the baby move.

has anyone been faced with trying to find a name that

fits the american lifestyle here but still is within the religious

names or to the liking of your spouses parents or likings to

flatter his country?

I didnt know what on earth to do because I honestly want

people here to be able to pronounce the name right and

still have it within reach of where the father is from.

my husband made it clear to me it's got to be of Islam

meanings so we looked up and down on names of Islam

suprisingly lots of names sounding american also seem to

catch our eye but naming boys I beleive will be harder for us then a girls name.

now we finally got the happy ok from his side of a girls name being "mishel"

meaning light in islam and I know people can say that name.'

boys are much harder,,adam is the only name we can think of that is also

in Islam but still to his family sounds so american.

just thought it would be a fun topic to bring up.

take care girls and eat well

Sadia

Asalam Alai U kum

I am so sorry I got mixed up on the visa congrats,,

that is SO like me to get people mixed up but I sure

mean well,I just remember what it was like waiting all

them months for jani to come home.

so Inshallah u all get reunited soon,horrible to see u all

suffer. I see the goat subject on here,this is how it goes..

Jani's sending money back home to pakistan to his parents

and they take it from there in the sacrificing.

I'll never disrespect tradition(religion),,it's just as an american goats are

well there like little pets on farms here,sort of like how u felt

as a kid watching bambi's mom getting killed.

u know so I know all about eid and the goats but I never knew

about the goat sacrificing after a birth,it just took me bye suprise.

I do know my husbands salamian friend had a goat butchered for

there eid, a farmer he knows of did it for him.

for the head shaping now that scares me,I don't know if thats religion

or not...jani really dont know he just said everyone has done it there in his

family and so when we first met he was just amazed bye my round forhead

..I guess it's just ,,,we are taught here to be so careful with the babys head

I never dreamed of molding or shaping it.but everyone in pakistan survives it

so I mean I guess we will see what happens.

if his ami was here I'd feel more comfortable but I know I am not touching that

babys head! I dont think he will know how to do it either,he sais he can try but

I dont know guys that one kind of touches me wrong ..

maybe more pakistani's know more on this subject and can enlighten me some.

shaving the head ,,uggh what about the ribons and bows? haha well the one mainly

will be my mother to freak out on that unless I keep bonnets on her head.

it's so interesting I think the customs and traditions that come with having a child

in international marriages.

jani will speak to the baby in urdo and i'll do the english ,,I think that is a cool idea

I just hope I know now of all the traditions so I dont freak out or get surpised.

I think the religion will be on the babys wristband right?

god if jani sees a priest hanging over the isolett he will freak out.

lots of priests visit the babies in our hospital.

so much to think about..ok i'll cut the drama hehe.

I better eat before he gets on break he will be calling to see if I ate again for the

hundreth time.

Love to all..

ALLAH HAFIZ

Laney u like Mishel?? thankyou:) u can steal the name sure..

we just are glad to agree with janis family ona name finally thats

another tradition i wasnt used to .oking it with the mother and father.

one prob IF it happens to be a boy cause u know ultrasounds CAN be wrong..

u people give me your best muslim baby boy names ok?

Love Sadia