NeedInfo3839

Well again, I didn't mean anything insensitive toward the mother by asking about custody matters. It just kills you when you are talking to someone you love about his kids... Then his voice cracks, and he starts breaking down, indignantly SOBBING for like a half-hour straight. So bad he can barely get a word out, because he misses them-- and has to work far away from them. And he tells you he feels like he "doesn't deserve to be their father". Tells you how bad he needs you right now. You feel protective, like you just wanna reach through the screen and hug him. Or go to battle with everything that hurts him, no matter who is right or wrong...

I did the original post right after that happened. So if it sounded bias, that's probably why. But after calming down, I know its best for his oldest boy to be with us (since his mother passed away), and his youngest to stay with his mother.

Its not all about what Khalid wants, I'm also kinda tired of being without the person I love, and just working, working, and there never being anything meaningful to come home to. I want to be married to the man I love and have a family. I don't have anything tying me to the USA, I work a job I'm not very attached to. Pay rent month-to-month. Live alone. Rarely see my relatives anyway. If I'm not gonna raise a family here, then...

And since Khalid's ex would never live where he had to work (she wants to stay near her mother), he never would have had the chance to be more than a "summer dad" to his youngest son Youssef, whether he stayed married to her or not. They were never in love. But at least if Khalid and I are together, there would be love. We could raise his oldest son Adam, and we would all live in the same house together. We are best friends, and have most things in common. I AM willing to live wherever he works, because I am not really tied down here. As for meeting... We are kind of beyond the point of condemning each other over little personality quirks. Its not so simple as to decide we don't like each others mannerisms in person, and blow each other off. I am really all he has, and he is all I have.

Oh wow this post did kind of take off, lol. I've been offline for a bit.

Well it seems I left a lot out of the original post.

First, the "12 years old" thing was not my idea of an acceptable age. It just I read that in Egypt, the father has to wait until the kids are 12 before they can go live with him.... Or something like that.

I should also probably note that I came from a hard family. Rough around the edges. Almost everyone has been divorced, myself included. And in most cases, there were custody issues. Half the time, the father got the kids, and half the time the mother got them. Many times, there would be more than one custody battle, and the kids would end up going back and fourth. Plenty of step parents involved. Most of the custodial parents would move far out of visiting reach, after the divorce too. So I suppose at least in my family, the whole subject is a little more causal... Also, my own father raised me VERY far away from my mother, starting at age 10. I never even saw my mom at all, ages 10 to 16.

I wasn't trying to sound inconsiderate or mean, its just really common in my family. We talk about it kind of frankly, as if it were normal, lol.

The other thing is, my man confided in me that he didn't really like agree with her parenting methods, while they were married. Or the condition of the marriage itself. He tried to bring her and the kids to where he worked, because he wanted everyone with him. But she didn't want to come to him, she just wanted to stay in Egypt, and receive money from him.

He strongly felt that she only wanted his money, because it was an arranged marriage. His family worried about him being alone. But she readily volunteered for the marriage, because she wanted the respect of "being married", and because he had a good job. They were never in love. She never wanted much to do with him as a companion. Or with intimacy and such. Kinda slept with her back to him, or in a different room. And didn't really roll out the welcome mat when he came home... Never called him "honey" or "sweetie" stuff like that. Those things are extremely important to him, so it really bothered him a lot.

I guess he eventually figured "Well, if she just wants me to hand over the money, and stay away, then I might as well be free to be with someone who makes me happy." So he divorced her. As a single man, he couldn't take his oldest boy with him where he works, because he is sort of clueless about domestic stuff. So his sister offered to care for his oldest son, while his ex took the youngest. But neither situation was what he had planned for life.

So.... Its probably quite accurate to say that he is holding a "grudge" against his ex, I suppose. And that's why he feels this way. From day one, he just wanted a normal family. Like a wife who loves him, and lives in the same home with him, and see her there with his kids every day. But I think I'm going to have to talk to him, and explain that just because he's angry at her, and he doesn't approve of her parenting methods, doesn't mean he can just erase her and put me in her place. The best it could ever be is me, him, and his oldest son.

We've been talking a lot more about where we will be living, though. He actually wants to apply for jobs in the UAE, because he's not exactly crazy about working in Saudi anymore. I am considering going over to live with him wherever he will be, instead of going through all the U.S. I've already known him for 4 years. And I can't go see him this summer (things have come up), so I have to wait for next summer. And then if we do immigration, it will keep us apart for another year or more, because he I would have to stay in the US and work to maintain the apartment and the income requirement. So that's just not sounding very appealing to either of us.

As for moving wherever he is... Whether I work, or I'm a stay-at-home-mom, its all good with me. He doesn't mind either way. There are plenty of both types of women in my family. I've figured out little ways of making money online and such, and he earns enough, so we wouldn't be without means, wherever we decide to live.

But again, regardless of his personal issues and resentments with his ex, it doesn't sound very doable at all.

Is anyone familiar with child custody laws in Egypt?

Khalid (my man) really wants custody of his younger son, Youssef. He has custody of his older son (Adam), but that's because Adam's mother died years ago. But he really wants his 2 boys to grow up together.

Right now, little Youssef's mother has custody. When they were married, Khalid owned 2 apartments. His Ex got one of them, and lives in it now. Plus she works. So she is established and all. Khalid pays support for the child. I've been hearing that the Egyptian courts tend to favor the mother.

He plans to live with me, and we can raise Adam. But he doesn't want to be a stranger to his younger son, or for the kids to be apart until Youssef is 12 (standard age when the father can usually take the child).

But even still-- does he have any hope for custody at all? I mean is it possible? Any Egyptians here know about this?

And I also wonder does MENA men really believe what they say when they say they dont care what their family says or thinks about who they marry? I know that Adams family and I are very close and get along perfect. They have never said anything bad about me to Adam while we were apart or together and I would never think of saying anything bad about them bcz they are so sweet and adorable. All of them knew about me from the beginning.

Not all the inlaws are so loving and inviting of a person of another culture marrying their son or daughter. I know of many that the family, and even aunts/uncles ...cousins do not approve of the relationships and the men seriously do feel the pressure and do care what their families are saying about the relationships that even the relationships do not turn out for the guy and girl bcz of the family pressure. Just a thought.

Yeah, I'm kind of expecting maybe some outwardly polite faces when meeting them, but some "concern" probably behind it all, lol.

But see.... Khalid is a little bit on the defiant side, just by nature, lol.

His first wife... She died at 26, because she had a heart condition and her artificial valve operation didn't go well. Their families knew about the heart condition, and Khalid's parents STRONGLY apposed the marriage. they were worried she could die any time, and that was no way to start your life out. But Khalid married ehr anyway, because he fell in love with her. When she died (2 years after the wedding), she left behind their 1 year old son.

A couple of years later, Khalid's family "suggested" he marry a Palestinian woman. She was basically a work-a-holic, who was several years older than him! She was a virgin and all, but "needed" a husband because her family didn't like her being unmarried so long. Khalid's family suggested they marry, because after the death of his wife, he had not shown any interest in women at all. They were worried about him, and his young son (at the time begin cared for by his sister). So despite the fact that Khalid had NO feelings for this woman, he married her anyway. Everyone pressured him into giving her the child she wanted so badly (another son), which Khalid really did not want to have another child. At least not with her.

2 years later, their marriage fell apart because Khalid is EXTREMELY romantic, and affectionate, I mean REALLY sensitive. He's like the only guy I know who watches romantic "chick flicks" on his own, lol. He was looking more for someone who could be his "best friend" and really deep companionship. But his ex wife was really hard and tough. Sorta cold. She really just didn't care for that stuff. She really wanted nothing to do with him as a husband, or lover, or anything. She just wanted a baby, and someone to help her survive financially. She enjoyed the social and family "respect" that came with being married, and a mother. But Khalid wanted A LOT more than that from a wife. So again-- against his family's wishes-- he told everyone he did not want to be with her anymore.

When he told his ex "I'm just not happy with you", she didn't offer to work on the marriage, or try to be more loving, or say "Please don't go, I love you", or anything. She just used the kids as guilt, and cried about money, money, money. So that just really put the nail in the coffin for him.

The thing is... Khalid fell VERY DEEPLY in love with me, before he even met that woman! I was still (legally) married when he fell in love with me, but my marriage was a complete disaster! Most of the time I was staying at my mom's house, because I couldn't even stand to be home. Yes, I felt a very strong connection with Khalid. He was my best friend in the whole world! Heck, I knew him better personally wise than I knew my husband! lol. But I wasn't ready to trust anyone else yet, and my divorce wasn't even final. So when Khalid told me how he felt about me... I was honored, and flattered, and teary-eyed... But still wounded. So I turned him down. So that was when he decided to marry that other woman. Then after his marriage fell apart, he came back to me again. He said he wanted someone more romantic, more deeply connected to him, and like a best friend whom he could talk to about anything for hours on end-- someone like ME. And by then, I'd had more time to heal from my own pain-- so he and I just fell for each other completely. We both just walked away from the bad relationships, and came to each other, because we made each other a lot more happy. We supported each other through all our troubles. I guess it shoudl hve been me and him from day one, and nobody else. That's what he says too, lol.

He says because of his ex, he no longer trusts his family to pick someone for him. At least not someone he could ever be happy with. He was blissfully happy with his first wife before she died, and I make him blissfully happy, so he trusts his own judgment much better. Hehe, that's my defiant Khalid!

Haven't had the pleasure of meeting my future in-laws just yet. I've only seen pictures. But when I do meet them, I can only hope they will like me... Khalid is still working outside Egypt, and has not discussed me with them just yet, because we only recently decided we wanted to be a couple, after a 4-year online friendship. I will get to meet them in about a year though.

But just in case, I will prep myself to expect a reaction such as,

"Oh... She's an American? And a Christian??"

And possibly some worries about a match like this. Maybe even an attempt at talking us out of it.

Khalid SWEARS that his family are all very kind, and they will support whatever makes him happy. And maybe that is true. He also says even if they did have issues with our union, they would never actually say so, or show it. And even if they did, he will still marry me, and tell them its OUR choice, because its OUR life and happiness on the table here. But he really doesn't think there will be a problem. I hope he is right...

I know a good reaction is possible, because that is exactly how my Ex husband's family was, very kind and welcoming to me (he was from India). So I will keep and open positive mind, and just be as sweet and kind to all of them as possible, and dress exactly like the local women when I meet them, out of respect. They are very religious, so maybe it will make me more acceptable? I hope...

I told him since he is living single at the moment, he should learn to cook, so he's not living on fast food, because its just soooooo unhealthy. He complains that he is starting to notice a "belly", lol. I don't care, but he's all self concious about it...

But then he says "I CANNOT cook... And I doubt I could ever learn how." All he knows how to do is boil eggs, make sandwiches, and whip up simple bean dishes from canned beans, lol.

Oi... I gotta work with him, lol.

Haven't had the pleasure of meeting his mom yet, but I would REALLY love to, can't wait! If she cooks anything, I'm gonna make Khalid stand in the kitchen with me and translate whatever she says (she doesn't speak English), and I'll write it down, and watch what she does.

In the mean time though, I'm gonna study what I can, so I'll have a basic understanding of it, like the names, and generally what certain dishes are.

Khalid does eat a lot of American food, like KFC, Pizza Hut, McDonalds, because he works in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. I told him once,

"When we finally get to live together, I'm REALLY nervous about cooking for you, because I don't know what you grew up with."

He keeps saying, "All I care about is that it looks ok, and tastes good. Doesn't matter what country it originated in."

And that's really sweet, but I think he's just trying to keep me from feeling intimidated, lol.

I'm married to an egyptain His mom makes alot of sauce fresh with lots of garlic and they love fresh vegies like cucumbers, tomatoes, potatoes ,herbs and love pasta Just search on youtube or google egyptain foods you will find many .I'm Italian so I love the food the food his mom makes because the garlic .You can even find a recipe on the bread they eat here it's easy to make.It's like pita bread to me.also they make stuffed grape leaves,They make something looks like pesto sauce but it's called Mulukhiya.It's easy to make.salata ( salads)my favorite is the pickled eggplant Just Search on google you will find it and also like someone said youtube is good place to find it.I been in egypt now 3 months soon back to the states Of course going to miss my husband but I have my exam in August and I'm Moving .Take care good luck it's easy

Thanks you guys, I will look some of this up and check YouTube. Just if he does end up living here with me, I want him to at least feel at home when he is "at home" lol.

Ok, my current fiance is Egyptian, and I want to be able to make things that he would know.

I LOVE to cook. Always have. My ex husband was from India, and during that 6-year marriage, I mastered Indian cooking. He never missed home, and his male Indian friends told him he was lucky, lol . Its fairly simple and basic. After a while, I saw a pattern and I was able to improvise like an Indian woman-- A lot of garlic, ginger, onions, tomatoes, and spices like cumin, cinnamon, garaham masala, chilies, cloves, turmeric, cardamom, bay leaf, coriander, cilantro, etc. Usually about a teaspoon of each spice sauteed in the oil for 3 minutes, and you're good to go. Both whole and ground spices. Mostly just making a meat rub (like with fish). Or a base sauces with those ingredients (in different combinations), and adding the meat to let it cook into like a stew. Put it over basmatti rice. Maybe flavored rices like Biryani, or Pulao. Or flat breads like chapatties, na'am, and pouri. In a nutshell, that's it.

So... Like the above basic sum of Indian cooking, is there a way to kind of sum up Egyptian style cooking? Or does anyone know of any good Egyptian cook books that I can study, to get the basic idea? I'm sure I can master it with practice. I'll see if I can find an Egytpian restaurant in San Francisco, to sample the way some things should taste. But I would like to get it mastered during this year, before I marry my fiance. I just REALLY want to make him feel at home. I only wish I were close enough to visit his mother, because I would be hanging out in her kitchen all the time! lol.

Thanks in advance, if anyone can help

If you are living with a brother, sister, cousin, or friend (everyone U.S. citizens, like room mate style) will they also count the other person's income who lives in your home? I mean could that be counted to help meet the requirement?

Thanks everyone. Yeah, I'm not sure if Egypt is on any kind of a "double check" list. Possibly, but I hope not.

Amber-- Soooo jealous! lol Do you have someone helping you out with bills back home? Do you own your house?

To anyone who has gone through the entire filing process from start to finish, and been approved, etc.--

Is there ever a point in the process where they have ALL your information collected from you (papers, proof of relationship, records, income, proof of a home in the USA, etc.), and they no longer need to collect any more information from you, and they are now just "considering it"?? Like a point where you don't have to do any more, all you do now is just "wait?"

I was thinking after this point in the filing process, perhaps THEN I could go over seas, and wait it out with my honey. And then just get a new job, when I come back to the USA (with him, if its all approved, god willing).

Assuming all goes well, will they then have to go to Egyptian Consulate for interview or can they have it in Saudi Arabia? A possible additional financial obligation plus Visa for her to go to Egypt??

If I begged my dad enough he MIGHT do it. Might. But honestly... I think it appears that I was right in the first place; I think I probably will have to stay in the USA and work during the filing process.

Hmmm..... If I travel to the middle east, I'm willing to wear whatever eastern women wear. In fact I think it might be good protection for me because it would make my western features far less obvious, or in the case of Saudi clothing-- totally invisible. So I wouldn't feel so much like people were judging me or acting prejudice. I don't really mind my husband going everywhere with me, because he speaks Arabic, so I would need him with me anyway because I actually do not speak it.

But not being able to travel without his permission? Didn't know that... If I stay here and work, I will still let him get me a visa for Saudi, so that I can visit him every so often throughout the filing process. But I don't think I will EVER be able to bring him here, unless I stay and work.

This morning, he told me (over the computer) "I don't care about visas and U.S. immigration. I just want you with me. I'll live wherever with you, as long as we are together. I can't spend all that time away from you."

And while that is very romantic, I really would prefer that he and I spend our future here in the USA... Even HE is constantly complaining about how boring Saudi Arabia is, and how there is very little social life, and he stays home a lot. I think he just wants me there because (yes he loves, me but also...) he is extremely LONELY and bored there! lol. But I guess I will just have to keep reminding him that "a wait right now, for a lifetime together" is well worth it.

Oohhhh, he is not gonna like it when I say that, hahahaha.

Just thought this is interesting. Second paragraph on this page says you can use the income of other household members, and the intending immigrant, just so folks can see where I got this idea from:

http://immigration.lawyers.com/ask-a-lawyer/Affidavit-of-Support-And-Joint-Sponsor-Issues-7009.html

My Egyptian fiancee (who works in Saudi Arabia) doesn't want to be separated from me during the whole marriage visa filing process. I told him that after the wedding, I would have to go home to the USA and work a job, and pay for an apartment, for the necessary minimum income requirement, and US established "domicile".

But HE wants to get me a visa for Saudi Arabia after the wedding, and have me live in his flat there with him, during the filing process.

Well... I remember reading somewhere that if the immigrant spouse lives with you, they will combine your incomes. And he all by himself earns enough in Saudi Arabia to meet the minimum income requirement. So, if my Dad (who owns property and a home outright) allows me to list the family home as my "domicile", do you think it would be ok for me to live in Saudi with my man while we file? Will they combine his income with me in that case?

Ahhh ok, so read up on it. IR-1 / CR-1 are basically the whole kit and caboodle, as soon as the immigrant spouse enters the USA, they are a permanent resident, and get a green card, they can work, travel, etc.

But K-3 you still have to apply for adjustment of status after the immigrant spouse enters, they won't be a permanent resident or have a green card, and there are certain limitations. K-3 also expires in a couple of years, the guide says.

Hm, I think if we apply, we would rather just wait a little longer, and go for the IR-1 / CR-1.

Top of the page and click on the word Guides.

Ah ok, thank you

Can someone tell me what the main differences are between IR-1 / CR-1 and K-3 visas? Why some people go for one over the other?

Thanks in advance

Hmmmm, H1-b? I'll have to read up on that. He only has Egyptian citizenship, but he does have a CELTA certificate, which is internationally recognized. He's very well spoken when he talks, he sounds almost British, lol. If I can help him find some way to get a government agency or school to sponsor him, I would love for him to try that.

I would love to marry my fiance Hopefully next year (please see the issues in my signature). But I'm also wondering if it might be possible for him to get a work visa over here? I was just wondering how it worked, or how he could apply. If a U.S. employer would be likely to hire someone from overseas.

He is 32 years old (Egyptian) with a Bachelor's degree in English, has his teaching credentials, and is currently working as an English instructor (English As A Foreign Language) at a reputable private school in Saudi Arabia. He has also worked the same job in Kuwait in the past. If in the event he ever lives with me in the USA (hopefully through a marriage Visa), I was discussing the possibility of him switching over to being an Arabic teacher here in the USA, since that's his native language. And if you have your teaching credentials, technically, you could teach what you want.

But besides just the marriage visa, which will be rather complicated to get going, due to the situation in my signature-- do you guys think there is a way he could apply for like... An Arabic teaching position in the USA, and possibly get a work visa that way? I was just wondering what the likelihood is that a government agency or a college, etc. here in the USA might hire outside the country for that... Or how he might be able to go about trying it? He's a hard worker and educated, he's not a dead-beat, or a burden to society, or anything.

Help?

I guess I'm just hoping that living with him 24/7 in Egypt, for a couple of months during his summer vacation, will add up to a lot more time spent together than dozens of visits... He wants to rent a flat while we are there, and stay in it with me from July through August. But its still debatable if he can sleep there with me, until we are married. He was thinking until the wedding, he could stay the night at his parent's house, and see me all day, every day, since he will be off work in the summer. Because some of the people there require that you show a marriage certificate before you can rent a flat together, or rent a hotel room together. And a flat for me, for 2 months, is cheaper than a hotel for 2 months.

It is not always a red flag to marry on the 1st trip. Each case is indivdual. Knowing him for almost 4 years is in your favor. You do not have to be in Egypt for 10 days either before marriage. But know that at step of the process they can denie you. If the Egyptian forgien ministry does not feel like approving that paper then they will not that day. But most time's it is so easy you can leave me a personal message and I would be glad to go over it with you.

Oh, I probably should have clarified that... lol. My fiancee is not Saudi. He is Egyptian. He just lives and works in Saudi most of the year as a high school teacher. For meeting, we could always meet in Egypt. But the problem is-- him finding time off work to meet me outside Saudi Arabia-- since I cannot enter Saudi Arabia to visit him, unless I am his wife. He only gets a couple of vacations in a year. That's why we wanted to get married during the first meeting. Like I would stay in Egypt with him for the entire 1 to 2 months of his summer vacation. And we would get married during that time.

I just feel like LIVING with him for a month or two, combined with the time off work problems, and the fact that I can't visit him where he works unless I'm his wife.... Might make our situation different. But I don't know.....

Awwwwww, I hope it won't raise a flag with us, I've known him for nearly 4 years I can only visit him in Egypt in the summer, because he works in Saudi Arabia the rest of the year as a teacher, and I can't visit him in Saudi unless I am his wife.... So basically, its either marry him in summer 2012, or I have to wait ANOTHER year to marry him in summer 2013.

I mean I cannot even enter Saudi Arabia, unless I have a Saudi sponsor (family or employer) or I'm married to someone who does.

We went to the embassy first thing in the morning....next to get the resident stamp and then to the translated office....then to get married. ALL IN ONE DAY. I left 2 days after we were married and Tamer went to get the marriage certificate around a week later. He had a couple of copies and then got them translated as well. He sent me one copy and kept the other himself. During this trip I was only there 10 days total. Make sure you read the guides and go online and research all you need for getting married in Egypt. I wouldnt recommend getting married on the first trip to meet his (it will cause a red flag, in most cases). If you have any questions there are plenty of great people on here that will help as much as they can. Best of luck.

Awwwwww, I hope it won't raise a flag with us, I've known him for nearly 4 years I can only visit him in Egypt in the summer, because he works in Saudi Arabia the rest of the year as a teacher, and I can't visit him in Saudi unless I am his wife.... So basically, its either marry him in summer 2012, or I have to wait ANOTHER year to marry him in summer 2013.

Ok, so my fiancee and I will get married in Egypt, summer 2012. I just want to make sure I do it all correctly. So... Thus far, from what I can gather, this is what I will need to get it all done? Please correct me if I am wrong, or add anything that is missing:

1. Resident Stamp on my passport (can't get married without it)

2. My birth certificate (original? Certified copy?)

3. Any forms of identification I have (ID, passport, etc.)

4. Proof of my divorce, after the correct amount of time has passed, of course.

5. A permission letter from the embassy approving my marriage to an Egyptian??? Are they still demanding this?

6. I heard you should stay there for 10 days before getting married, or you could possibly get denied?

What should HE bring?

Am I forgetting anything?

Things Immigration will want later?

Do any of these documents need to be translated into Arabic?

Thank you in advance, I just don't want to give them any excuses to deny us.

--Melissa